

i'J > 


4'T 1 


'!!• n\r 


4 * > ’• ! 




6Wv* I 




jtlfrf 


.r i 

























































































































































* 























































* 






































Falls of the Yellowstone 

















A DRUMMER’S 
EXPERIENCE 





A DRUMMER’S 
EXPERIENCE 


By 


J. S. DEARING 


ti 



1 103 HALF-TONE ILLUSTRA¬ 
TIONS REPRESENTING 
BEAUTY SPOTS AND NOTED 
SCENES OF THE NORTH 
AMERICAN CONTINENT 


PIKES PEAK PUBLISHING COMPANY 

COLORADO SPRINGS, COLORADO 













H F5 4 -^ l 


Copyright 1913 

BY 

J. S. Dearing 




©CI.A357248 


Introduction 

C HE AUTHOR’S object in presenting this 
volume is to amuse the people by ridicule; 
to focusing the x-rays of sarcasm on exist¬ 
ing conditions. To feel the pulse of com¬ 
merce, take the temperature of politics, 
and to prescribe an antidote to counteract the 
poison in society. To establish a signal station to 
show which way the wind blows, and to read the 
barometer of time. To burn the grass around the 
the traps set for man. To furnish a key to the 
handwriting on the wall. And to pull aside the cur¬ 
tain that the people may view the grand panorama 
of the North American Continent, whose cities are 
peopled with progress, whose valleys are groan¬ 
ing with verdure, whose plains are throbbing with 
animal life, whose mountains are more beautiful 
than the Alps and more majestic than the 
Materhorn. Here may you drink of the fountain 
of youth to intoxication, inhale the air of inspira¬ 
tion, and bathe in the crystal pools of joy. 

Here’s to your health! 


THE AUTHOR 


CONTENTS 


Chapter I 

Trials of a Drummer. 11 

Chapter II 

A Boy’s Troubles. 23 

Chapter III 

Love, Marriage and Divorce. 37 

Chapter IV 

Social Parasites. 49 

Chapter V 

Grit. 54 

Chapter VI 

Progress. 61 

Chapter VII 

Niagara and the East. 64 

Chapter VIII 

Abused Conditions. 89 

Chapter IX 

The Difference Between a Man and a Gentle¬ 
man . 96 

Chapter X 

Can You Better Your Condition?. 103 

Chapter XI 

What Is the Matter with America?. 113 

Chapter XII 

Garden of The Gods.. 126 

Chapter XIII 

Floods of the Mississippi. 134 

Chapter XIV 

Odd Customs. 137 

Chapter XV 

Habits of Indians, Japs and Chinamen. 147 

Chapter XVI 

How to Make the American Dollar. 153 


















CONTENTS—Continued 


Chapter XVII 

The Grand Canyon. 159 

Chapter XVIII 

Pipe Dreams. 172 

Chapter XIX 

Hot to Smile in Adversity. 174 

Chapter XX 

Sod Shanty. 179 

Chapter XXI 

Cow Punching or Cattle Raising. 190 

Chapter XXII 

The Egypt of America. 193 

Chapter XXIII 

Is Honesty the Best Policy?. 203 

Chapter XXIV 

The Far West. 208 

Chapter XXV 

How to Judge a Man. 216 

Chapter XXVI 

Mexico. 223 

Chapter XXVII 

Panama Canal, Railroads, Etc. 228 

Chapter XXVIII 

Animals of the West. 234 

Chapter XXIX 

The Drummer’s Wife.!. 248 

Chapter XXX 

Influence. 261 

Chapter XXXI 

Self Reliance. 267 

Chapter XXXII 

City vs. Country. 273 

Chapter XXXIII 

What Makes the World Go Round.... 282 



















CONTENTS—Continued 


Chapter XXXIV 

Labor Troubles. 293 

Chapter XXXV 

Alaska and the Northwest. 300 

Chapter XXXVI 

How to Think. 311 

Chapter XXXVII 

Yellowstone National Park. 319 

Chapter XXXVIII 

A Good Time. 345 

Chapter XXXIX 

Colorado. 351 

Chapter XL 

Cliff Dwellers and Mound Builders. 367 

Chapter XLI 

What Broke the Camel’s Back. 375 

Chapter XLII 

High Cost of Living. 381 

Chapter XLIII 

Opportunity. 386 

Chapter XLIV 

Yosemite Valley, Etc. 393 

Chapter XLV 

Ostrich Feathers and Dreams. 400 

Chapter XLVI 

St. Louis and Omaha Cyclones. 407 

Chapter XLVII 

Woman Suffrage. 419 

Chapter XLVIII 

Executive Ability. 423 

Chapter XLIX 

Mining. 429 

Chapter L 

The Power of Concentration. 437 


























CONTENTS—Conti n ued 


Chapter LI 

Government Lands, Etc.. 444 

Chapter LI I 

Out of Joint. 448 

Chapter LI 11 

White Slavery. 454 

Chapter LIV 

San Francisco Earthquake. 458 

Chapter LV 

Alfalfa, Bees and Honey. 467 

Chapter LVI 

Mormon Utah. 471 

Chapter LVII 

Jobs and Where to Find Them. 490 

Chapter LVIII 

Hobbies, Etc. 495 

Chapter LIX 

Altitude, Temperature, Etc. 498 

Chapter LX 

Vocations. 503 

Chapter LXI 

Why People Doubt Your Arguments. . 508 

Chapter LXII 

Salesmanship. 512 

Chapter LXIII 

Canada. 517 

Chapter LXIV 

Investments. 537 

Chapter LXV 

Past, Present, Future. 542 

Chapter LXVI 

The Holdup. 546 

Chapter LXVII 

Always on Time. 549 

Chapter LXVIII 

Man Traps. 558 























A Drummer’s Experience 

Chapter I 

TRIALS OF A DRUMMER 

There is a bill before congress to have a 
“Drummer” analyzed. The idea is to find 
out whether he is human, ostrich or a portable 
sign-board. He does not advertise in the pa¬ 
pers, but he takes the original hot air, right off 
the reel. He can make more one-night stands 
than a third-class theatrical company; and 
give as many confidential talks as a Pres¬ 
idential candidate . And is better posted on 
the wares he is peddling; and when it comes to 
fulfilling his promises and delivering the goods, 
he can give the candidate cards and spades, 
and beat him. The drummer sells from 
samples of his goods, the candidate gives you a 
moving picture show with prosperity irt the 
background. When the time comes to ana¬ 
lyze or dissect the drummer, I want to be 
called as a witness. I have information that 
is likely to throw light on the subject; and 



12 


A DRUMMER’S EXPERIENCE 


may place him in the class with the ostrich or 
pelican. I know of cases where they have 
swallowed three sandwiches, four doughnuts, 
two eggs and all the pie in sight, inside of five 
minutes, and had a ten cent cigar half smoked 
before the train started. As regards the 
sandwiches, I do not think they will hurt 
him, as there was not enough meat in them to 
bait a mouse trap. The bread used in these 
sandwiches has been passed on by the Medical 
Board, there are strict orders that none of 
the bread shall be less than five days old. As 
for the doughnuts, the only thing that will 
hurt you is the hole, the little ring around the 
the outside is harmless; it is made of water 
and some flour. The case the eggs came out 
of was marked “Special.” I do not know 
what that meant unless it was special for 
lunch counters, and as for pie, yes, all drum¬ 
mers like pie, nice fresh apple pie, but not the 
cold storage variety. I like almost any kind 
of pie except the kind that has buttons, and 
hair pins for flavoring. A “drummer's” life 
is like the month of April, when you have 
seven different kinds of weather in twenty- 
four hours. Sometimes business is good; 
competition keeps his mouth shut; and the 
trains are on time; but at others the wind is 
always in your face when you have to make a 
drive. Then the horses balk, or the auto 
sticks in the mud a half mile from town, just 


TRIALS OF A DRUMMER 


13 


as the train is whistling for your station. All 
young men who think of taking up the pro¬ 
fession of selling goods on the road, should take 
lessons from some correspondence school as 
to the best method of coiling up in a chair, or 
on a bench in a railroad station to get some 
sleep. Out in Idaho, a couple of years ago, 
myself and two more tramps were waiting to 
catch a train at eleven p. m.; we called up the 
railroad and asked about the train. “On 
time!” was the answer. We got our household 
goods together, and put them in our moving 
van (which we use for a pillow on the train) 
and proceeded to the depot. We rushed 
around, got our baggage checked, and looked 
for the headlight; could not see it with a 
field glass; waited a half hour, asked agent 
about train, said it was reported a little late. 
Waited two hours, asked again, said it should 
be here any minute. At three A. M. asked 
him if train was still coming, said he could not 
hear from it. At four-thirty a. m. it roused 
us out of our dreams of the Mexican war. 
We got to the next town a little too late for 
breakfast, but we ate some oat meal, Saratoga 
chips and a Ben Davis apple to accommodate 
landlord. Well we went out to get an order 
or two, the wind was blowing and the dust 
was in the air. The first man I struck looked 
like he had lost all of his friends and his rent 
was overdue. I approached him in as cheer- 


14 


A DRUMMER’S EXPERIENCE 


ful a manner as possible, but had that green 
taste in my mouth, from an overindulgence of 
sleep the preceding night. I introduced my¬ 
self and offered to shake hands; he looked at 
me like I was a confidence man and said, “ I 
do not want to buy anything this morning.” 
1 said, “ That is all right, brother. I could not 
write an order anyway, I have lost my pencil,” 
I asked him for a cigar, and after I had paid 
for it, I had to beg him for a match. He was 
as cross as a bear with a sore head. I tried 
to draw him out on all the subjects that I 
thought would fit his case; at last I mentioned 
some thin g abou t busin ess. He wen t off like an 
alarm clock, “Ob! don’t talk to me about 
business, if steamboats were selling for fifty 
cents apiece, I could not buy a gang-plank. 
My corn is burned up; my hay is not 
stacked; the pigs are out of the pen; the 
children have the measles; and my wife has 
run off with the hired man.” Well that was 
one day I was glad when the horn blew for 
dinner. The old fellow that ran this hotel 
ought to take out a patent, or draw a pension 
for his modern ideas, and sense of justice. He 
did not believe in seating a Drummer and a 
farmer at the same table; the farmer eating 
four times as much as the traveling man and 
only paying half the price, so he conceived 
the idea of making two dining rooms by draw¬ 
ing a rope across one end of the room, and 


TRIALS OF A DRUMMER 


15 


stretching a sheet on it* and by using paper 
napkins on the private table, otherwise the 
same. Well we went under the lope and got 
our feed, but it is a question in my mind yet, 
whether he charged twenty-five cents extra 
for that napkin, or whether it was to apply 
on the idea of stretching the line. The most 
truthful landlord I ever saw was one who had 
up a sign, “ Special prices to Drummers.” 
We found it out. He had one of the fifty- 
nine varieties of breakfast foods, and some¬ 
thing that the bill of fare called home-made 
sausage. I will not dispute it, because any¬ 
thing makes sausage, and for dessert, we had 
an orange, and he gave all of this for seventy- 
five cents. There is one of two things the 
matter, he either owes a bill and has got to 
pay it, or he is going to leave the country. 
I hope it is the latter. But what is the use, 
anything is good enough for a “Drummer.” 
It is said that if you give a dog a bad name 
you had just as well kill him. Well the 
drummer has the name all right; and the 
lunch counters and the ninth class hotels 
have taken the job of execution; and the 
lord high executioner has passed the word 
down the line to make it “torture;” soup, 
(Maud’s mixture) and steak off the neck, is 
too good for him. Put him on a cot and cover 
him wdth a horse blanket. Traveling men 
have bought more houses than anybody, they 


16 A DRUMMER’S EXPERIENCE 

v A 

pay on the installment plan, two dollars per, 
but never get a deed. 1 object to the class¬ 
ification of the race, in Albuquerque, there 
are a great many Mexicans and negroes. A 
negro hotel porter went to the depot to meet 
the train but brought no suckers (drummers) 
back with him. The landlord said: “What 
is the matter Bob, no customers?” “ Dare was 
only two white men and one drummer got off 
dat train.” Down in Alabama two Knights 
of the Grip got off at a small town one Sun¬ 
day p. m., and were lugging their “Satchels” 
up town, an old darkey and her ten year old 
daughter were out under the shade of the 
willow; the girl spied the two gentlemen of 
leisure walking toward them, she says: “Law, 
mammy, yonder comes two gentlemen.” The 
old colored woman adjusted her glasses and 
looked at the men, then in disgust said: “You 
fool nigger, dem ain’t gentlemen, dem’s 
Drummers.” We will admit that this speci¬ 
men of humanity is a little different from 
most people. The wind may blow and the 
grasshoppers and Populists take the country 
but he never kicks; business is always good , 
he is an optimist, first, last and all the time. 
If you will get a few of the boys on your 
executive board of the Chamber of Com¬ 
merce, the people will know that your town 
is on the map. He may be a brick , but he is 
not & fossil, and he is as jolly as a busted sailor , 



TRIALS OF A DRUMMER 


17 


be makes three blades of grass grow where 
one did formerly; he is always on hand when 
a melon is to be cut, and is willing to take his 
chances with men and events, and sometimes 
the chances are pretty great. I call to mind 
a few. One Sunday afternoon going from 
Durango to Silverton, Colo., our train stop¬ 
ped suddenly on a bridge over the Las Animas 
river; on investigation we found that the 
track had spread, the engineer saw it in time 
to stop j ust as the wheels of the engine dropped 
down on the ties. It looked as though the 
bridge was about to wash out, we could go 
neither forward nor backward; the river was 
a mighty torrent; something must be done 
at once; we got out and crawled along the 
ends of the cross ties, till we got across the 
bridge; then waited three hours, like Nannie’s 
lamb, for a relief train. At another time we 
had just passed over the track near Ophir 
Loop, when a snow slide came down and de¬ 
molished the station house, sweeping boxcars, 
track and everything in its course. “A miss 
is as good as a mile.” On my way from 
Denver to Billings, Montana, the baggage 
car caught fire, and was uncoupled and left 
on a side track to its fate. The next morn¬ 
ing I had checks in my pocket, but they were 
no more than counterfeit money to a hungry 
tramp. I was in Fernie, B. C., with washout 
and landslides on each end of the road, was 


18 


A DRUMMER’S EXPERIENCE 


“busted’’ and could get no money from my 
firm, and only three thousand miles from 
home. Was on the Santa Fe when she took a 
header below Lamar, Colo. It was about 
one A. M. and running about fifty miles an 
hour, we struck a washout, after the jerks and 
jolts were over, I went to the door, it was 
jammed tight, by the gentle pursuasion of an 
axe we got it open. I was first out, jumping 
from high side of chair car as she was tipped 
over, and afterwards held by rope. It was a 
hot night but I jumped into ice a foot deep . 
When 1 struck the ground I thought I had 
struck a new world. There had been a cloud 
burst and a terrific hail storm, the hail had 
washed upon the right of way, it was like 
jumping from a frying pan into an ice box, 
but in all this wreckage there were very few 
hurt. I have not spoken about the fright¬ 
ened ones, and I guess I will not as there were 
too many to count. Leaving Kansas City 
one night some five years ago on a train 
bound for Pueblo, we ran square into a freight 
train that was standing across our tracks. It 
was in a low cut, and when we struck the 
freight cars we knocked them onto the steep 
banks of the cut, they rolled back on us as 
we were plowing through the wreck. The 
breaking of windows, and the scraping of the 
sides of the coaches, sounded worse than a 
family quarrel. Nobody was hurt. I know 



TRIALS OF A DRUMMER 


19 


of one man who didn’t grow any more after 
that. On board a caboose backing into the 
switch yards in Atlanta, Ga., myself and the 
conductor w r ere talking politics, we struck a 
train load of lumber that was not in the clear, 
it tore off the side of our caboose. I do not 
remember that anybody told us to jump; but 
when I came to my senses I was on the ground, 
the conductor may have helped me out of the 
caboose but I do not think so. A small town 
in North Dakota found, that they had in¬ 
creased their population one evening by a 
drummer stopping off the passenger. After 
getting through with my business I was 
told that I could catch a freight out of 
town about 10 p. m. I got my three grips 
weighing one hundred seventy pounds down 
the track to about the place where the caboose 
should stop; I guessed all right; and when the 
wheels stopped rolling, I crawled in, conductor 
and brakeman were absent, train pulled out in 
a few minutes. When we were about a mile 
from town the conductor showed up. 1 guess 
he had indigestion or his liver was not work¬ 
ing right, he would not accept money, ticket 
nor cigars. I protested that it was dark, and 
I could not find my way back; he said the 
rear of the railroad led to the town, and that 
a man who had as bright a countenance as 
mine, should give me light on some subjects. 
I protested that I had lung trouble and that 


20 


A DRUMMER’S EXPERIENCE 


my muscles were weak. He said I did not 
have to go back to town, and as he slowed 
down and shoved me and my baggage off the 
train, he said he would not turn me out in the 
cold world, and offered me some matches to 
build a fire. Well I will admit that I was a 
little mad, but I got over it in a week or so. 
In B. C. myself and two other boys took a 
hack to an interior town forty miles inland. 
After staying there a day we caught another 
hack coming out, but after having gone about 
five miles, the driver discovered he had too 
much load, he had about ten people and their 
baggage. He stopped and through some pre¬ 
text of examining the springs he took off the 
baggage of the three drummers, while we 
helped him to adjust the difficulty. When all 
was fixed, he got on the box, cracked his whip 
and left us and our baggage in the road. Yes, 
we said something to him as he drove away, 
but I do not remember what it was. I have a 
vivid recollection of a “tricycle” ride on a 
railroad in Western Nebraska among the 
hills. I wanted to make the next town down 
the road, and as there were no trains that 
would stop at my town for twenty hours, I 
employed a section foreman to take me to the 
next town on his railroad “tricycle.” It was 
one of the kind that worked by hand, he 
acted as engineer, brakeman and conductor. 
The moon was very bright, just getting up— 




TRIALS OF A DRUMMER 


21 


was not yet above the sand hills; it was about 
seven o’clock p. m., one of those ideal nights. 
We had not gone far when he told me that the 
fast express going west was overdue, and we 
were likely to meet it any moment. I asked him 
to take a side track and wait till she passed. 
He said no, we could see it in time to get off 
the track. I got a little nervous and I think 
he was too; we were making good time, some¬ 
times pulling up a short grade and sometimes 
coasting. We rounded quite a hill and the 
moon was not shedding any light on us; and 
all at once like a flash, there was a ball of fire 
staring us in the face; quick as a cat the fore¬ 
man grabbed the arm that controlled the 
small wheel of the tricycle, and yanked us 
over in a pile. We were lying in a mudhole 
and the tricycle on top of us, waiting to hear 
the train go thundering by. After lying 
there a couple of minutes, the foreman raised 
up and said: “I will be darned if that light 
was NOT THE MOON.” This was a good 
lesson to me. I learned that most of our 
troubles and fears is a “m an-in-th e-moon.” 






Fa11s of the FJrehole River. Yellowstnnp Port- 




















Chapter II 

A BOY’S TROUBLES 

At the opening of the Civil War, (in speak¬ 
ing of it please use the soft pedal on the word 
Civil) I was about five years old, being born 
in the South in 1856. My people lived on 
the battleground. We had “Rebs” for 
lunch and “Yanks” for dinner, and some¬ 
times both at once; then we had a little 
scrap or a running match. Well, between 
the two armies, it was hard to know 
whether you would have anything to eat the 
next morning or not. They, in turn, foraged 
on us so often, that the pigs never got ripe , 
and a hen was a stranger at our house for four 
years; the old one-eared, club-footed mule was 
all we had left in the way of saddle stock, and 
we rode him bareback. The soldiers con¬ 
vinced us that we did not need a saddle, at 
least they needed it worse than we did (they 
thought). Cows? well, yes: there was one 
in our neighborhood, but she had been trained 
to run everytime she saw a blue coat. There 
was an old man in our neighborhood who had 
a mule. He was so afraid the Union soldiers 
would get his mule, that he used to put on a 




24 A DRUMMER’S EXPERIENCE 


blue coat and a Yankee cap, then get a brush 
and thrash the mule for half an hour; he 
would then turn him loose and run after him 
with his blue coat on. The mule soon got so 
wise that a regiment of soldiers could not 
corral him. The old Reb figured right, this 
procedure saved the mule. The brass buttons 
on the soldiers coats did not look so good to 
my untrained eye as they do to the sixteen- 
year-old girls of today. I was just about big 
enough to be scared within an inch of my life 
everytime the soldiers appeared upon the 
scene, and when they got to shooting around 
the house, I would go under the trundle bed 
with the cats. In the fall of 1862, the 
Federals were passing our house and the 
General saw our pen of fat hogs; it did not 
take him long to decide that it was a good 
place to camp. Well, the next morning all 
we had left of the hogs was the hair and toe 
nails. Did they pay for them? Well, not 
yet! but that was only fifty-one years ago. 
Perhaps Uncle Sam may have an enlarge¬ 
ment of the heart yet. Our friend, Post, of 
Battle Creek, lived in the wrong day. He 
now has to advertise to induce people to buy 
postum; if he had been doing business in the 
South in the sixties, his stock of drinks would 
have been bankrupt in a week. In those days 
there were old women in the South, who would 
have knitted a pair of wool socks for a drink 






A BOY’S TROUBLES 


25 


of coffee. There was one bad thing about the 
war; it destroyed our sense of taste. For 
four years we could not distinguish the dif¬ 
ference between sugar and salt. But all of 
our friends did not desert us. We had an 
old' neighbor who could pass through the 
federal lines; he went to Nashville, Tenn., 
and brought us some coffee and salt. He did 
not advertise cut rates, but stood pat, ive 
dollars a pound for coffee, and fifty dollars 
a barrel for salt. He sold out his stock the 
first night, and the next morning the soldiers 
could not have found a pound of either 
article with a search warrant. 

We became more expert in hiding things 
than a chipmunk. Barrels of molasses, loads 
of corn, cows and horses all disappeared; as 
for a ham of meat, if we got hold of one, it 
vanished as quickly as if a magician was 
manipulating it. I give you these incidents 
to show you that we needed no moving picture 
shows to amuse us. And now you ask why 
the South does not vote the Republican 
ticket? With all these pleasant memories 
still lingering in my mind, I decided to see 
some of the world while I was still quite 
young. I went to Florida and here fell in 
with a gentleman from Manchester, N. H. 
We conceived the idea of collecting mocking¬ 
birds and taking them to the northern market. 
We were successful in getting a great many 






26 


A DRUMMER’S EXPERIENCE 


young birds. Here is where I took my first 
lessons in raising a family; we drew straws 
to see who would be cook, and who should be 
nurse. I got the short straw and the babies. 
I have often heard women pitied when they 
had to take care of twin babies, but I had no 
sympathetic tears shed for me, when I had 
to nurse four hundred young mocking-birds; 
and they had more different kinds of com¬ 
plaints than an old maid; and when begging 
for food, could make more noise than forty 
parrots; and eat more than a drove of ostrich. 
For sixteen hours a day I would feed four 
hundred gaping mouths, making the rounds 
about every two hours, and feeding every 
patient by hand. At last the time came to 
ship. We took train to Savannah, Ga., and 
from here a boat for Boston. Now for an 
experience: the old man with me had asthma 
and could not help me much, but that did 
not make a great deal of difference after two 
hours. I did not care whether the birds died 
or not. I had troubles of my own, and I 
was not the only one; three of my comrades 
and myself spent considerable time at the 
rear of the boat feeding the porpoise. 

But get back to my family, I found them 
with all sorts of troubles; so serious were the 
troubles, that the funeral processions were too 
close together to be observed with courtesy. 
We decided toward the last not to strap them 





A BOY’S TROUBLES 


27 


to a board and tie a rock to their feet. Well 
we got to Manchester, N. H., with a few 
birds; and, of course, they were all males and 
good singers. We advertised that we were 
going out of business, but this was hardly 
necessary, another week would have closed 
us out anyway, as our birds had contracted 
vermin on board the vessel, and we doped 
them with grease and sulphur, arsenic or 
strychnine would have been better, at any 
rate more humane. Well, this was a good 
starter for a boy on his first venture, but I 
had learned how to nurse babies, but not how 
to doctor them. After disposing of my crop 
of Jenny Linds, I was asked to take in a 
soldiers, reunion at N. Weare, N. H. I took 
the matter under consideration for a couple 
of days. I had not seen any blue coats for 
ten years, and I could hardly make up my 
mind to renew their acquaintance. I had a 
vivid recollection of how they broke up my 
old gray hen’s nest, and took all the apples 
and peaches before they got ripe; but at last 
I decided to bury the hatchet and be a good 
Indian. When I got off the train at North 
Weare, I went up by the kitchen tent, where 
I spied a pot of pork and beans; and, when I 
caught the delicious and appetizing odor of 
those beans, (I had never seen nor inhaled 
the odor of baked beans before, but thought 
I could learn to love them without much 




28 


A DRUMMER’S EXPERIENCE 


trouble)— but about this time I caught sight 
of the blue coats. It was a question in my 
mind, whether I should stay and eat the pork 
and beans; or hike for the hills to save my 
scalp. After taking the second look, the men 
and the coats did not look as tough as the 
ones I had seen in the South; so I decided 
to stay and eat brown bread and beans and 
drink real coffee, not the kind we drank dur¬ 
ing the war (burnt wheat ) and so it came about 
that I got on speaking terms with the “ Yanks” 
and finally made up. I found them to be 
real men, men who had a heart and soul; so 
I decided that their little pranks in the South 
were only the legitimate spoils of war; but 
still I could not help wondering why the 
soldier took my little red socks in 1863. I had 
a notion to ask one of them if he did not have 
a boy about my age, that liked red socks. 
While at the reunion, I contracted the mumps, 
but did not know it for a few days. In the 
meantime, I had gotten acquainted with a 
nice little Yankee Lassie. She wanted to 
show the Southern “Kid” what a nice blue¬ 
berry patch they had. I had been boasting 
as to how I could eat blueberries; and, to 
make my assertions good, I took about half 
a pint in my mouth and proceeded to make a 
wine press of myself. I did not do it but 
once. I found out that mumps and blue¬ 
berries would not mix. 1 did not want my 






Boston Commons 




































A BOY’S TROUBLES 


31 


girl to think that I was a tenderfoot, or a 
“piker,” so I told her that those were not the 
kind of blueberries I liked. There was plenty 
of persuasion brought to bear, that blueberries 
were good for a young man, but all this 
flowery talk was of no avail. I cut my ac¬ 
quaintance, and “hiked” for the Doctor ship. 

Leaving New Hampshire and the berry 
fields, I drifted down to Boston, at least it 
was in some place where the people spoke 
broken English; and you have to employ a 
private detective to take you around town, 
and he has to carry a Rand-McNally map, so 
he can bring you back to the place where you 
started. I thought the town w^as awful nice; 
but I did not like to start for a walk and meet 
myself coming back. The people have the 
reputation of being energetic. I suppose this 
is right, but my observation is, that a man 
has to be a good guesser, also—he surely has 
to guess whether he is coming or going. Lord 
Cornwallis’ pigs must have had the blind 
staggers when they were employed to survey 
out the streets in this town. I like the snap 
and vinegar of the Bostonian, he sleeps on his 
arms (if he sleeps at all). He has reduced his 
routine of business to a system; he can tell 
you to a penny, what it will cost to manu¬ 
facture an article and to put it on the market. 
He is an expert at figuring imports and dis¬ 
counts, and is posted on the markets of the 







32 A DRUMMER’S EXPERIENCE 

world. He will take up a small thing, and 
make it a big one, by his snap, and persever¬ 
ance. He also has a taste for the beautiful. 
There are some elegant parks and statuary 



Washington Statue, Boston 

in this city, that would be a credit to any 
nation. From Boston I headed for the sunny 
South, and stopped off at Yorktown, Va., and 
took in the centennial celebrating the sur¬ 
render of Lord Cornwallis. Here I made my 
first acquaintance with a gentleman of the 
road (l mean the light-fingered gentleman). 
1 was attending a show; he borrowed my 










apitol Building, Boston, Draped in Mourning for President McKinley 













Soldiers’ Monument, Boston Commons 








A BOY’S TROUBLES 


35 


watch when I was not looking, and did not 
take my address: therefore, did not return 
it. Here, too, I learned the beauties of sleep¬ 
ing in the open air. There was no hotel in 
town, and the people who lived there did not 
care to form our acquaintance, so we intro¬ 
duced ourselves to the fodder stack. . Is it 
all right? I guess so, beats a feather bed, but 
makes more noise when you turn over, than a 
two dollar spring mattress; but this is all 
compensated for w T hen the farmer routs you 
out in the morning. You do not have to 
dress yourself, but it is well enough to look 
out for the bull dog. We got enough of York- 
town in twenty-four hours, and a lot of us 
young fellows pulled out for the South. We 
checked up when we got to Welden, N. C. 
There was a county fair going on here, so we 
loaded up on red lemonade and peanuts; and 
started out to have a good time. I guess we 
had it, for the whole bunch was “pinched.” 
Fortunately for us, the jail had been burned 
a few days before, and we were sent to the 
court house with a deputy sheriff as guard. 
Well, that night was the time of our lives; 
we were all good Indians until the deputy 
sheriff fell asleep, sitting on the floor with 
his back to the door; we proceeded to steal 
his gun and hide it. Then we woke him up, 
and in the meantime we had ascertained that 
our room had been used for band practice, 


36 


A DRUMMER’S EXPERIENCE 


and the instruments of “persecution” were 
still at hand. Our Deputy informed us that 
he was the trombone man. Well, we se¬ 
lected about a dozen of our party who had 
good lungs, but not much musical talent, 
but they were willing to learn. So we pro¬ 
ceeded to render some of the popular airs, 
I guess we did fairly well, but there was no 
one to throw bouquets; it was a little too 
early in the morning, being about four a. m. 
In about an hour the high sheriff showed up 
and found that we had captured the outpost. 
He took in the situation, formed our ac¬ 
quaintance, treated us to breakfast and inter¬ 
ceded in our behalf, so we could go on our 
way rejoicing. 



Chapter III 

LOVE, MARRIAGE AND DIVORCE 

Love rules the world, from the fact that 
love in some form enters into every phase of 
life. When we speak of love we do not only 
refer to the love between the sexes, but in a 
general way include everything that man de¬ 
sires and longs for. 

You can select fifty people from a crowd 
and no two have the same desires and am¬ 
bitions. They do not love the same objects, 
and their love is bestowed in different degrees 
of intensity. Some love fame; others, music; 
and still others, flowers, scenery, learning, 
money, etc. But this is not the general ac¬ 
ceptance of the word. When we speak of 
love, we are supposed to refer to that inex¬ 
pressible, consuming desire that is felt for the 
object of one's affection. Love is melody, 
harmony and congeniality, shedding light 
and luster over the present and the future. 
Pure love has an elevating effect, gives rise 
to unbounded hopes and aspirations. 

It is said that “Love is blind.” She may 
not be blind, but she surely wears glasses, 
and they must be pink ones at that; because 
everything looks rose-hued; and I guess there 


38 


A DRUMMER’S EXPERIENCE 


is no denying the fact, that the bug is larger in 
women than in men. Women love to dis¬ 
traction. Their love triumphs over reason, 
scorns all advice; precepts and examples 
count for nothing! Nothing short of a hypo¬ 
dermic will quiet a woman in love, and when 
she recovers she will be raving again. She 
embarks her whole soul on the voyage of 
affection. The object of her love is always 
a criterion and the embodiment of perfection. 

Let us not criticise this*absorbing, consum¬ 
ing passion. It has brightened some of the 
darkest scenes the world ever knew; it has, 
in thousands of cases, redeemed the most prof¬ 
ligate and placed in their bosoms noble as¬ 
pirations; it has brought forth deeds of valor, 
honor and integrity! Love forgives injuries, 
smooths the road to victory, and lightens 
many a burden. 

Man’s love is different from woman’s. He 
may love as intensely, but it does not occupy 
his mind so much. 

“Man’s love is of his life a thing apart, 

’Tis woman’s whole existence. ,, 

A man’s mind is filled with business and 
cares of the world. Chasing the $ he is ever 
ascending or descending the hill of fortune or 
fame. Love is an oasis to rest, and quench 
his thirst and prepare for greater exertions. 


LOVE, MARRIAGE AND DIVORCE 39 
LOVE CLASSIFIED 

The word “Love” is the most abused and 
misunderstood, of any in the English language. 
If everything was love that is called love, this 
world would be a paradise. If I were asked 
to define the word I would divide it into four 
parts: First, a mother’s love; second, love 
by association; third, love between the sexes; 
fourth, no love at all. 

There is no question but that the mother’s 
love for her child is the purest, the most 
steadfast and unselfish of any love. This 
devotion is generated in the wellspring of 
instinct, and cannot be polluted or destroyed. 
A mother’s faith in her child cannot be shaken. 
She is willing to sacrifice comfort, health, 
position, even life itself, for her offspring. 
Here is love unde filed. 

Next, love by association. By this I mean 
the affection that is instilled by constant 
companionship for many years. It may be 
between friends; it may be between husband 
and wife. This love is deeply rooted from 
the fact that the parties learn to adore each 
others’ dispositions. They love the prin¬ 
ciples and the sentiments; they love the 
actions and the intents of the friend or com¬ 
panion. This is the second purest love known 
to the human family. 

Third is the love between the sexes. This 
is a love that is panicy. It is an unknown 


40 


A DRUMMER’S EXPERIENCE 


quantity. It often acts like an oil well—flows 
strong when first tapped, but diminishes very 
fast and dries up in a few years. My advice 

is, where the flow is strong, to strain a lot of 

it, preserve it , and place in storage to draw 
on when the atmosphere gets chilly. This 
kind of love is often measured by self-interest 
and is spasmodic. It is much like water in 
that you cannot expose it to the cold; it will 
congeal. It should be kept warm, but not 
hot enough to produce a fever. Use a ther¬ 
mometer composed of equal parts of caution 
and good sense. Love will not mix with 
selfishness, sarcasm, neglect or jealousy. You 
should be careful about keeping it corked too 
tight; it may sour; if it sours you will have 
to work it over and the grade will never be 
up to the standard. I would suggest to the 
young married man that he only have one 
cook in the family; and ascertain before you 
make a trade with her, if she has been through 
the kindergarten. Take no chances; your 
stomach is ^valuable. If you ever lose your 
head and marry the second time, I would ad¬ 
vise you to arrange it so that you get some 
money out of the deal. Widows and widowers 
often make good helpmeets, but warmed over 
love is like cranberry-pie—not very sweet. 

Fourth. Under this head I want to warn 
all young people to be very careful and sure. 
Quite a number of sentiments can be placed 


LOVE, MARRIAGE AND DIVORCE 41 

under the head of love. First, examine your¬ 
self; why do you love the man or woman? 
What good qualities have they? Are they en¬ 
during? Is it sentiment? Will they be an 
honor to me in the future? Is he or she marry¬ 
ing me for myself , or for my money? What 
other motive outside of love could prompt 
an acceptance of me? If you cannot answer 
these questions to your own satisfaction, drop 
the proposition like a hot potato! If you 
allow yourself to be influenced, you will be 
carried beyond your reason. Love is like the 
measles; it has different stages of develop¬ 
ment; and when the fever gets high it is 
contagious and the patient loses his head. 
Reason is a thing of the past. I have known 
of cases where the lover had no more sense 
than a mad hog; and after they had been 
married twelve months they had a second 
spell, but this time it was to get to the divorce 
court. Now this is not true love. True love 
has a different origin. It was merely an over¬ 
whelming desire to mate. 

MARRIAGE 

“Didn’t the bride look sweet?” 

“Yes, she had on the prettiest dress I ever 
saw.” 

“I never saw her look so beautiful before.” 

“They should have had their picture 
taken.” 


42 


A DRUMMER’S EXPERIENCE 


These and kindred remarks are heard at the 
wedding. How many reflect that this is the 
beginning of the voyage of life, possibly, with 
rough seas ahead. Do not make too many 
predictions; this is a new craft, and the 
captain is not familiar with the disposition of 
his mate. Single life has its trials, and when 
two are yoked together the trials may be 
multiplied by two. When two calves are 
yoked together they sometimes pull in op¬ 
posite directions. If each one does his part, 
and there are no rivers of trouble to ford, no 
cacti or thorns grow in their path, all is well. 

“This old world we live in 
Is mighty hard to beat; 

There is a thorn for every rose— 

B.ut aren’t those roses sweet?” 

The romantic ideas of young people drop 
faster after marriage than the mercury when 
the thermometer is carried from the hot¬ 
house to the refrigerator. I do not know that 
this makes much difference, for romance is 
only the spice of life; and there is no spice 
needed in Johnny-cake, or the 43 varieties of 
breakfast foods. After they have been mar¬ 
ried a year, the girl learns that she has only 
an everyday man, and the man discovers, 
that he has a woman instead of an angel, and 
that her feet are cold as those of a frog. She 
may be as pretty as she ever was, but now 


LOVE, MARRIAGE AND DIVORCE 


43 


he looks out of the window on a Sunday after¬ 
noon. He may be as strong as he ever was, 
but he does not see the necessity of holding 
the umbrella. Sometimes they both wonder 
what has become of the rainbow! 

Do not imagine for a moment that you 
know each other before marriage; you only 
get acquainted with each other’s clothes, 
veneer and smiles. People who are thinking 
of getting married should try to expect little, 
then divide this by two, and they will not be 
disappointed later. High hopes, with visions 
of luxury in the background, has wrecked 
many a matrimonial craft. The man or woman 
does not live who has no faults. You must 
expect to find them. Not only this, but you 
will find traits of character that you never 
dreamed of. These traits may not be bad in 
themselves, but they will surprise, and may¬ 
be shock you. Now, the best and only thing 
to do is to make allowances. Now is the 
time to use charity at home. Bottle up your 
advice and put it in cold storage, to be used 
ten years hence; use your sarcasm on the 
dog; and kick the cat when you get angry. 
When you have learned to know each other, 
and difficulties arise, you will know whether 
to charge, fire or retreat. It is not always 
the people who say nice things about each 
other, that get along best. As you grow old 
together, you should learn to love each other’s 


44 


A DRUMMER’S EXPERIENCE 


characters. Married life has its trials and 
you must expect to meet and overcome them. 
The ardent love of youth will cool; but you 
will still love each other, with less fervency 
perhaps, but greater thoughtfulness and con¬ 
sideration. Wealth has nothing to do with 
your happiness. “Lovers in privation will 
be partners in wealth.” Those who are con¬ 
siderate, very seldom have to resort to the di¬ 
vorce courts. Financial troubles are the cause of 
more separations than jealousy. The first 
thing to discuss after marriage is how much 
money you can afford to spend. Let this 
amount be thoroughly understood, and each 
resolve to live within your means. If one is 
inclined to be frugal, honest and energetic; 
the other slothful and profligate and a bad 
manager, you had better have a guardian ap¬ 
pointed at once. No man or woman can 
enjoy life if they are spending more than their 
income. True love delights in self-denial, 
and is always watching for a chance to per¬ 
form some act of personal attention. If that 
act is appreciated, the service will never stop 
and you will not be required to tip the waiter. 
But I would advise you to retaliate in appre¬ 
ciation and affection. 

Marriage is Nature’s own law. It is the 
mating of the sexes, call it what you please. 
Every human being that is of sound mind 
and sound body should mate, but be sure 


LOVE, MARRIAGE AND DIVORCE 45 

that you and your affinity both have a sound 
physical body. Look to this, that the one 
you are about to select has no inherited de¬ 
fects, that the family are not consumptives 
or afflicted with cancer, that the proposed 
partner for life is your equal mentally and 
socially, not above nor below you; and that 
the man is capable of earning enough money, 
to keep a wife in as good togs as she has been 
accustomed to while living with her parents. 
Do not get your sights too high. I would 
hate to see you Jail. Do not place too much 
stress upon the honeymoon; all moons change. 
Try to learn in advance the disposition of your 
proposed mate. Be polite; be a gentleman; 
be a lady; be considerate; attend do your own 
business; give the wife her way in the house; 
allow the husband to transact all outside 
business; if he is not competent to transact 
the business, do not marry him. 

I see divorce in a different light from most 
people. Do not marry for money. If you 
happen to get money in the deal, do not 
abuse it; do not kill the goose that laid the 
golden egg. The one who has the money at 
the time of marriage has a right to control 
it afterwards. If you have married for 
money, and cannot get along with your 
partner, and you sue for divorce and alimony, 
do not get me on the jury, for I have formed 
an opinion. If you have made an honest 


46 


A DRUMMER’S EXPERIENCE 


marriage, and after a good and sufficient trial 
you find you cannot get along with your 
partner, offer to make an agreement, that 
neither of you shall remarry for a period of 
jive years after the divorce, each one putting 
up a bond, to live up to this agreement, be¬ 
fore the divorce proceedings are entered into. 
Now if both will stand hitched, it is pretty 
good evidence that there is no wire-pulling, 
or prospecting for the future. Now 1 will 
help you get a divorce; you are entitled to it. 

But before you take the final step remember 
that you made one bad guess before; you 
may do the same thing over. You never 
know a man or woman until after you are 
married. Most people are like oysters, they 
will not bear close inspection. 





Pagoda, Forest Park, St. Louis 






















Among the Pines 













Chapter IV 

SOCIAL PARASITES 

If it were possible for inanimate objects 
to be the ancestors of human beings, we would 
surely ascribe Blasted Ambitions as the sire, 
and Discontent as the dam of the American 
Tramp. Here is a human being that should 
be pitied more than blamed. He should be 
assisted by state and municipal authorities. 
He should be given work, with a fair re¬ 
muneration, and taught the dignity of labor. 
Now do not smile , I well know that this is a 
difficult task; but by systematic training, a 
man can be educated to appreciate the good 
and grand in any position, or walk of life. If 
all states would take a concerted action to 
provide work; and have competent men in 
charge to see that each man under his care 
was treated respectfully, yet forced to work 
under a penalty, it would be the greatest help 
that could possibly be given these misguided, 
and dissatisfied individuals. 

Charity, as applied today, is the most 
abused virtue known to the human race. 
Charity, when improperly bestowed, becomes 



50 


A DRUMMER’S EXPERIENCE 


a curse, and does an injury, greater than the 
misery or degradation it sought to relieve. 
Charity is the father of leeches, and the god¬ 
father of impostors; this is so in many walks 
of life. There are thousands of people and 
societies today that are public charges, suck¬ 
ing the red blood of honest toil of the duped 
but well-meaning American citizens. Thou¬ 
sands of people are denying themselves and 
their families the comforts of life, in order that 
they may donate to some charitable institu¬ 
tion, while the officers of that institution are 
living in luxury; and actually smiling at your 
ignorance. And after you have given your 
support for a period of time, they become 
indignant if you refuse to continue support¬ 
ing them. I heard of a beggar who called 
on a certain business man every month for 
his toll. He called one month and the gentle¬ 
man was absent. The next month when he 
called and received his pay he said to the 
merchant: 

“If you have occasion to be out of town 
again the first of the month, you will please 
make arrangements with your clerk to pay 
me my fifty cents.” 

A gentleman in a certain town was looking 
for a washwoman. He went into an out-of- 
the-way street where a lot of colored people 
lived. He found several of the women sitting 
on the doorsteps talking. He approached 


SOCIAL PARASITES 5J 

them and asked if they did not want some 
work. 

“What kind of work you got?” 

“We want a washwoman to do our family 
washing.” 

“Oh, we colored ladies don’t want such 
work as that.” 

“Have you employment at the present 
time?” 

“No; we isn’t lookin’ fo’ work!” 

“What do you do for a living?” 

“Say, mister, yo’-all ain’t lived in this 
town long, is you? We have Associated 
Charities here.” 

You may think you are doing a good deed 
when you present a tramp with a hand-out, 
but it is only a premium you are giving him 
as a reward for his laziness. By all means do 
something for him if possible, but teach him 
that there is no excellence without labor; 
teach him that work is the parent of enjoy¬ 
ment; teach him that work is honorable and 
positively essential for his well-being, for con¬ 
tentment of mind, and healthful state of the 
body; teach him with dignity and firmness 
that he must not be a parasite. A tramp, as 
a rule, is nobody’s fool; he has learned the 
knack of separating the tender-hearted house¬ 
wife from her cold meat and stale bread, and 
sometimes he gets a piece of pie. For this he 
says he is willing to cut some wood; but the 


52 


A DRUMMER’S EXPERIENCE 


tramp and the axe have had a family difficulty 
and the tramp is now on his dignity and will 
not deign to recognize his former associate, 
unless by chance he meets his old partner in 
the alley or backyard when no one is look¬ 
ing; then possibly they will go arm in arm 
down the back street to the pawnshop. 

But while professional tramps are very 
energetic in their calling, they have never 
secured a monopoly on the business. There 
is another class that should take out incorpora¬ 
tion papers as the boss grafters. As for 
capital, they have an abundance—a billion 
dollars of nerve, a half-million of cheek, and 
two hundred and fifty thousand of impudence, 
all paid-up capital. This is what might be 
called a private snap, as all the stockholders 
hold a lifetime membership. There are no 
assessments in any form, though there are a 
great many monthly dues; but these dues are 
all liquidated by giving fair promises. When 
the promise is made, they agree to pay you in 
Uncle Sam’s money; but when the fixed date 
of payment rolls round, they give you a nerve 
check on their bank. Now you need not be 
in a hurry about depositing this check for 
fear of the party overdrawing his account; 
the more he draws on it the bigger it gets. 
And their paper should be good, as everybody 
has it. They have given their checks to the 
grocer, coal-man, landlord, and drygoods man. 


SOCIAL PARASITES 


53 


They are so liberal they shove them onto 
everybody. But still they have a lot left, 
and they are willing to exchange them for any 
commodity that you may happen to have; 
they will buy anything that is loose at one 
end. As for date of payment, that does 
not interest them. They are very resourceful 
since they have so many kinds of money: 
first, there are plain promises; second, nerve; 
third, cheek; fourth, gall; fifth, impudence; 
and sixth, indifference. Now, they will give 
you these checks on the installment plan, or 
all at once if you prefer. Then they are very 
liberal in paying interest on their indebted¬ 
ness; they do not object to your compounding 
the interest, if you will take your pay in 
“ white lies.” 

This last mentioned herd of parasites are 
more numerous than tramps, and wear far 
better clothes. Yes, you can often find them 
in select society. The only difference between 
this class and the tramp is; the former have 
learned all the tricks of the trade and work 
their game scientifically; in fact, they have 
reduced it to a science. If they used half as 
much tact in paying their debts as they do to 
avoid payment , they could own a farm and 
have it stocked with four-year-old steers. 


Chapter V 

GRIT 

It is the desire of the writer to benefit 
mankind in general, and the rising generation 
in particular. If we can be the means of 
pointing the way, or giving encouragement to 
the disheartened or baffled young man or 
woman, we feel that we have done more for 
humanity than in willing to them a legacy of 
the perishable goods of man. We claim that 
will, self-reliance and determination, are the 
best' heritages that can be bestowed on the 
rising generation. To substantiate this as¬ 
sertion, I want to relate a TRUE STORY, the 
correctness of which I can vouch for, being per¬ 
sonally acquainted with the hero and heroine. 

The hero, Bob Moore, was of Scotch-Irish 
descent. His forefathers settled in North 
Carolina away back in the 16 th century. In 
these early pioneer days, they learned the 
principles of self-reliance and determination 
was their only stock in trade. Bob had heard 
his father speak of the trials of these old 
ancestors more than once; the idea of relying 
upon ones self was instilled into him from early 
childhood. His father was an old Southern 


GRIT 


55 


planter, owning a good plantation and a 
number of slaves. The family was not what 
would be called aristocratic by any means, 
but were good livers and well respected. But 
the little “unpleasantness” between the North 
and South in the sixties, left the Moore family 
in straitened circumstances. Their slaves 
were freed, stock destroyed and fences burned 
by the two contending armies; and to add to 
this, Bob’s father had sold the plantation 
during the war and accepted in payment the 
Confederate money,) which, as you know, was 
not worth five cents a thousand after the sur¬ 
render at Appomatox. The only thing left 
was four strapping boys with good health and 
a father with experience to direct their efforts; 
they did not have this father long, he passed 
away a few years after the close of the war. 

At the age of sixteen, Bob found himself 
and his aged mother the sole occupants of 
the house and farm, which had been paid for 
since the war, the other brothers having 
married and left home. Bob had been teased 
by bis older brothers—accused of being lazy, 
and called a “sissy boy.” But now his “ coat 
came off”—he was in the fields at sunrise and 
stayed until dark. In a few years he had 
accumulated several hundred dollars and had 
made a reputation in his neighborhood for 
honesty and frugality. 

About this time Bob met a rosy-cheeked 


56 


A DRUMMER’S EXPERIENCE 


lassie with a buoyant step and a sparkling 
eye. She, also, was an orphan. Her earthly 
wealth consisted of good parentage, fine health, 
determination and ability as a first-class 
housekeeper—principles good enough to found 
a nation upon. Well, Susie and Bob decided 
to* get married. If they had known the 
breakers ahead they might have hesitated, 
though I doubt it, as they were both made of 
the kind of material that laughs at difficulties, 
and delights in work. The ceremony was 
simple; no flowers or silver. Yes, there was 
a wedding trip, but it was a trip to duty and 
the battle of life. 

They had decided to build their own boat 
and set it afloat—paddling their own canoe, 
so to speak. So they cut the cable that bound 
them to their native home and state. They 
drifted westward with the tide, and anchored 
in one of the large cities in the Mississippi 
Valley. There were no friends to welcome 
them, but instead the cold realities of city 
life. They brought no furniture and their 
household effects were packed in their trunks, 
their only wealth being a few hundred dollars 
in cash that had been laid up for a rainy day, 
which was now at hand. 

Bob decided to go into a certain commis¬ 
sion business and in order for him to have 
capital to operate with it was thought best 
to buy no furniture for the time being. He 


GRIT 


57 


rented a place of business, and after consulta¬ 
tion they decided that one room could be 
utilized for a bedroom. In the meantime they 
had gotten acquainted with a woman by the 
name of “Teresa”—(I do not know that I 
ever heard her last name)—who offered to 
rent them a bedstead, dresser and a few 
chairs for $1.50 per month. This looked good 
so Bob closed the deal. As there was no 
place to do light housekeeping in their apart¬ 
ments, they made arrangements to take their 
meals at a small French restaurant nearby. 

Now, the business that Bob branched out 
in happened to be in the same line and in 
competition with the business of a former em¬ 
ployer in the East. This business was of 
national scope, and Bob expected to get 
customers from every state in the union. A 
good deal of advertising was required, and 
as soon as his first circulars were sent out, 
some of them evidently fell into the hands of 
his old employer. At once schemes were 
concocted to run him out of business. Men 
were employed in different parts of the United 
States to harass him. These parties wrote 
letters and asked impertinent questions as to 
his standing and the amount of business he 
was doing, etc. Bob, being in a strange land, 
and having no backing but his energy, could 
not give satisfactory answers. This was used 
as a club against him, and the blows fell thick 


58 


A DRUMMER’S EXPERIENCE 


and fast, administered by a skillful hand. At 
the end of three months, Bob could see that 
he was losing ground. While he was getting 
in a little money, his expenses were like an 
eating cancer, penetrating to the vital organs 
day by day. The expense of advertising, 
stamps, house rent and board were a con¬ 
tinual drain on his treasury, like worm holes 
in a molasses barrel. Then, the bombardment 
from his old employer’s fort had penetrated 
his gallant little ship, and he could feel it 
sinking beneath his feet, without a life-boat 
on board. But still he would not ask for 
quarter, nor would he solicit the aid of former 
friends. He remembered the words of Com¬ 
modore Perry: “Do not give up the ship.” 

Bob held a; consultation with Susie, and 
found that she was willing to stand at Ther¬ 
mopylae, or to act the part of Mollie Pitcher—- 
(to bring the powder and balls) while Bob 
handled the guns. But here was the great 
trouble, ammunition was running low, and 
enemies seemed to come from all directions. 
By and by Bob w r as unable to meet his board 
bill, and his rent was overdue, also “Teresa” 
demanded the rent on the furniture. The 
money was not to be had, so Bob and Susie 
gave up the bedstead and followed in the 
steps of their Briton forefathers by sleeping 
on the floor. Susie spread out some clean 
papers, then the comforts, and on these was 
laid the bed linen. 


GRIT 


59 


In a few days Bob succeeded in getting 
enough money together to buy at auction, a 
bedstead for eighty-five cents, and a couple of 
chairs. This relieved the sleeping situation, 
but did not stop the board bill from piling 
up. Something must be done at once. They 
bought a very small cook-stove and for a 
dining table they used a drygoods box. They 
economized in everything, even to postage 
stamps—there was never one used to write to 
either Bob’s or Susie’s people, TO ASK FOR 
HELP. But they did use postage stamps, or 
at least Bob did, for another purpose. 

One evening Susie said: “Bob, we are en¬ 
tirely out of coal oil for the lamp; could you 
go to the store and get some?’’ 

Now Bob had not revealed to her all the 
financial straits he was in. He picked up the 
empty can and started for the store, well 
knowing that he had not a cent in his pocket. 
He had never asked the grocery man for 
credit, and did not suppose that he could get 
it. Bob finally managed to ask for the 
kerosene, and while the can was being filled, 
his head was working. When the can was 
set down before him he proceeded to look for 
his money, without of course finding any; 
but he did run across some postage stamps 
and with the best grace possible under the 
circumstances offered the stamps in payment 
for the oil. They were accepted, and Bob 


60 


A DRUMMER’S EXPERIENCE 


went back home, trying to whistle on the way. 
But the sun did not shine for a good many 
months for Bob and Susie. It seemed that 
all the world was arrayed against them. Did 
they grumble? No! But they took the 
shield of caution in one hand and the sword 
of defiance in the other and went forth to 
battle day after day. 

At last Bob succeeded in getting hold of 
an article that he could handle to his satis¬ 
faction and make some money. From that 
time on things brightened up and such trials 
and difficulties as they had after that were as 
straws. They now had on the full armor and 
always kept a reserve of ammunition. Their 
bank account grew. Bob was promoted from 
time to time. Success now seemed to pour 
as heavily as adversity had a few years past. 

Do you ask why this was so? It was 
because they had added experience to their 
determination and self-reliance. Here are 
three prerequisites that will absorb troubles 
and crumble opposition. These are the char¬ 
acters that seize the banner of prosperity 
and march in the ranks of Progress. The 
ranks of this regiment are not all filled. 
Volunteers are wanted! But none but royal 
sons and daughters need apply. This is a 
bodyguard to protect the homes of the Ameri¬ 
can people and to surround them with com¬ 
forts that are the just reward of old age. 




Chapter VI 

PROGRESS 

Man by nature is a sociable animal, by 
instinct a trader, and by practice a “buttin- 
sky ”—unless restrained by the dignity oj his 
position. In pre-historic days man was kept 
corralled in certain bounds by custom, laws 
and conditions. Every tribe lived within 
themselves, and, while to some extent 
nomadic, were confined to certain bounds by 
lack of transportation. This small circum¬ 
ference made him clannish and reduced his- 
power for progress and enlightenment. In 
those days there were no literary achievements 
nor commercial prestige. The only thing that 
afforded them progress was conquest by arms. 
When one tribe subdued another, there was 
an exchange of ideas and swapping of customs. 
This, in course of time, shed light on the 
understanding and man began to think! As 
time progressed, the arts and sciences found a 
footing, but oftentimes these were crushed by 
superstition; but the everlasting pounding at 
the door of man’s intellect had its effect. 
In the fifteenth and sixteenth centuries the 
door was sprung ajar, though still chained to 
its facing and propped with an iron bar. It 
was not until the nineteenth century that the 
hinges were oiled and made to swing both 
ways, so as to let out prejudice and super- 





62 


A DRUMMER’S EXPERIENCE 


stition and to let in knowledge and progress. 
Since then Enlightenment has grown herself 
wings, and Commerce is pulled by the Iron 
Horse. The interchange of ideas has acted 
as a magic wand to civilize the world! 

If a master brain today conceives an idea, 
in twenty-four hours it is wafted to the most 
remote islands of the globe, and is caught up, 
analyzed and harnessed to the plow of In¬ 
dustry. Clannishness is evaporating like the 
fog on the bay and the glorious light of Knowl¬ 
edge is peeping through the clouds and pro¬ 
claiming the dawn of day. What has brought 
about this revolution? The interchange of 
ideas, and loosening of the shackles on the 
mind of man! Take away from us our tele¬ 
graph, telephone, newspapers, public schools, 
railways, steamship lines, and the thousands 
of other improvements of the day. How long 
would we maintain our equilibrium and 
prestige? We would topple over like an egg 
set up on its end. 

The invasion of nations and the force of 
arms are no longer needed to open the ports 
to the commerce of the world. The most 
backward and non-progressive nations of the 
globe are today welcoming the ships that fly 
the Union Jack and the Stars and Stripes. 
Friendship , Commerce , Enlightenment and 
Liberty make a team that haul the bandwagon 
of Progress with more majesty and splendor 


PROGRESS 


63 


than was ever displayed by a procession of 
royal chariots in the amphitheatre at Rome. 
These four Royal steeds belong to no specific 
nation; neither are they guided by the hand 
of tyranny nor oppression, but are controlled 
by the magic word of enlightenment. Do you 
ask when the wheels of this Chariot of Prog¬ 
ress will refuse to respond to the power of 
Commerce? Not so long as the interest of man 
is at stake and Justice sits on the throne of 
Reason. Progress in the nineteenth, twentieth 
and succeeding centuries is and will unfold 
as a beautiful rosebud, exposed to the light of 
Knowledge, and warmed by the rays of inter¬ 
national friendship. Prejudice, Jealousy and 
Ignorance are not harbored in the heart of an 
enlightened man, neither can they find a rest¬ 
ing place in the family of nations. All civil¬ 
ized powers are learning that great nations 
cannot be built on the ruins of others. The 
prestige welded by the union of nations will 
accomplish more than one vast empire divided 
against itself. Progress is not a will-o-the- 
wisp; but a fixed star of enlightenment that 
illuminates the path of practical men. The 
man or nation that refuses to be guided by 
this star is lost beyond redemption. As it 
takes a man a lifetime to build a character, 
so it has taken all Humanity thousands of 
years to erect this Statue of Progress to the 
Goddess of Liberty! 


Chapter VII 

NIAGARA AND THE EAST 

While the eastern part of the United States 
is not so rich in scenery as the west, there are 
a few spots that are exceptionally beautiful, 
and one in particular is grand. On the 
Niagara river which is only twenty-six miles 
long and connecting Lake Erie with Lake 
Ontario, is the wonderful Niagara Falls, the 
most powerful cataract on the face of the globe. 
There has been so much written and said 
about this grand sight that I feel unable to 
do the subject justice; and will only attempt 
to give you some idea as to the magnitude of 
the falls. As for describing the beauty, or 
portraying the effect produced upon the be¬ 
holder, I do not think there is an artist that 
can paint the former, or a Patrick Henry that 
could describe the latter. No one will ever 
form an adequate idea as to the emotions that 
will thrill him on beholding this sight, until 
he walks upon the brink and is transfixed and 
stands like a statue, and gazes with wonder 
and admiration upon the greatest exponent 
oj power on the face of the globe. If you have 
a faculty to appreciate—the wonderful, the 
grand—the awe-inspiring,—the majestic,—the 



« 





The Rapids, Niagara River 

















American Falls, Niagara 

















NIAGARA AND THE EAST 


67 


powerful, here is a feast. If you can only 
appreciate the beautiful and the poetic, you 
had better wander into the mountains and 
see a Minnehaha or go to a hothouse and see 
a bed of roses trimmed with tulips. There 
is music on the banks of the Niagara, but 
not the kind that is written in a book or painted 
on flowers; it is the music of thunder and the 
war of the artillery of power that speaks of 
defiance to man and all nature. If a man 
thinks for a moment that he is wise and 
powerful, let him figure on the possibility of 
damming the torrent of the Niagara, here is 
a power that will sweep away the conception 
of an idea; here is a power that will not listen 
to the ingenuity or dictates of man. A small 
fraction of this torrent has been harnessed by 
man and is turning the turbines to electrify 
commerce. Stop and consider what could be 
accomplished if it was possible to utilize all 
of this force; it would generate enough elec¬ 
tricity to light the world. There is water 
enough going over these falls to supply every 
city in America for domestic purposes. There 
is a breast of water passing oyer the American 
falls one thousand feet wide, and on the Cana¬ 
dian side there is one, two thousand feet wide. 
When this strikes the rocks one hundred and 
seventy feet below, it is dashed into spray, 
sending up a mist that at times seems like 
a heavy fog. While the Victoria Falls on 



68 


A DRUMMER’S EXPERIENCE 


the Zambesi river in South America are much 
higher than the Niagara; there is not near 
the volume of water, though the mist arising 
from the compact, ascends much higher, often 
rising eight hundred feet and falling back in 
the form of rain. But when you have seen 
the Niagara you have seen the giant of them 
all. The falls of Yellowstone are considered 
more beautiful and picturesque, falling from 
a much higher precipice. But it has not the 
volume that carries with it, splendor and over¬ 
powering awe. 

No less grand are the rapids below and above 
the falls. Here is another power as incal¬ 
culable as time itself. We call this gravity. 
What is gravity? What are the fundamental 
principles that constitute gravity? All you 
can say is, “it is gravity!” It is the same 
force that controls the universe, that keeps 
each star and planet in its orbit, all revolving 
in a circle, whose degrees are marked by a 
hand of eternity. Thousands of people who 
visit the falls never see the grand whirlpool 
rapids. The whirling of the pool is caused by 
the water dashing into a great basin, then 
making an abrupt turn to the right. The 
terrific current striking the water in this basin 
keeps it turning like a squirrel turns the cyl¬ 
inder in his cage. This whirlpool is the 
stomach of the Niagara river; the victims 
that are swallowed, may be ground to atoms, 


NIAGARA AND THE EAST 


69 


or with a great heave may be vomited into 
Lake Ontario. If the sound of Niagara’s 
voice is too harsh for your ears, and your soul 
longs for rest, take a boat ride among the 
Thousand Islands of the St. Lawrence. Here 
is beauty personified, reigning in harmony 
amid her attributes, beautiful islands, cheerful 
homes, hedged in by bowers that are trimmed 
by a skilful hand. Coves and nooks, cupids’ 
rendezvous walks designed by a fairy’s hand: 
if this could only feed the hungry it would 
attract a motley band! These nooks are the 
smiles in life to cheer us on our way. What 
a dreary desert it would be without these 
oases, and a fountain where flows the nectar 
of life! Our daily troubles and cares weigh 
us down; we need rest, recreation and play; 
we need the Venice, the gondola with its music, 
and a Cleopatra at our side. 

But we cannot play all the time, so let us 
take in the great Metropolis of the Western 
Hemisphere, that is often called Gotham. 
To a man unfamiliar with the business world, 
here is a revelation. The hub of commerce, 
what does it mean?—developing of ideas,— 
swapping of goods,—exchanging of confidence, 
for commercial necessities. If it were possible 
to see all the wares that are bought and sold in 
New York City in one day, piled up in one 
great heap, what would we have? a junk 
shop? a Noah’s ark? No! But enough lux- 



70 


A DRUMMER’S EXPERIENCE 


uries to satisfy the most rapacious monarch on 
the globe, for the rest of his days, enough pro¬ 
visions and clothing to supply Hannibal’s 
Army for ten years, enough wagons, buggies, 
machinery and autos to build a monument 
higher than Liberty’s tower. Never let me 
hear you say that you are living in a poor 



Race Between the Shamrock and Columbia 

down-trodden and neglected country! New 
York is not only .great in a commercial way, 
but in many others. Here is the money 
center of America; here are representatives 
of nearly every important interest of the 
world; here are located some of the grandest 
institutions of the country; from here, in a 
thousand channels, vibrates the news of the 
globe; from here thousands of ships sail to 





Grant’s Tomb, New York 

























Cleopatra’s 


Needle, Central Park, 


N. Y. 







NIAGARA AND THE EAST 


73 


every country beneath the sun; and from 
here the electric wave of prosperity is sent 
vibrating over three thousand miles of the 
most prosperous country that is known to 
civilized man. Never expose your ignorance 
by saying that America is not progressive and 
that her institutions are not the best on the 
face of the globe! New York has many places 
of interest for the tourist and pleasure seeker. 
Go to the battery and visit the aquarium; go 
to the piers and see the ships come in laden 
with their burden of commerce and humanity; 
go to the museums and art galleries and see 
the work of the masters; go to the theaters and 
see a real theatrical star; yes, and go to the 
Zoo and see your “ brother When you are 
weary of walking and looking in the city, come 
and go with me to Coney Island. I have 
money that has never been spent. I will take 
you through the maze, and onto the roller 
coaster, the ocean waves; I will put you on 
the skates, yes, take you through the Isle of 
Childhood and bring you out a younger man. 
I have never forgotten how to play. 

I would like to have every true American 
visit the old historic town of Philadelphia. 
This town rocked the cradle of freedom, 
when independence was a helpless babe. 
Here the Minute man had his rifle in one hand 
and patriotism in the other; here the old 
liberty bell first tolled the tidings of freedom 




74 


A DRUMMER’S EXPERIENCE 


to an oppressed world. While the tones of 
this old bell were heard only in Philadelphia, 
its vibration was felt from the equator to the 
poles, and still the end not yet! I would have 
you walk into Carpenter Hall, view the walls 
that once echoed to the voice of Patrick 
Henry; lay your hand upon the chairs, where 
the fathers of our country sat and unravelled 
the web of oppression, and wove the cap of 
liberty! Now take a walk of a couple of 
blocks to Independence Hall, and cast your 
eyes on the original portraits of the men w r ho 
dared stand for the right. If w^e could but 
realize v r hat fortitude, what deep-rooted love 
of liberty these men must have had: think of 
these fifty-six men, representing a weak and 
scattered band of revolutionists with Tories 
in their midst w r hat courage they must have 
had to affix their names to a document that 
meant treason to the mother country! When 
they wrote their names they knew it meant 
liberty or death. “He is at this time trans¬ 
porting armies of foreign mercenaries to com¬ 
plete the work of death, desolation and 
tryanny.”—Were they daunted; w r ere their 
nerves racked w r ith fear? For your answer 
look upon the signature of John Hancock and 
read determination in every line. You might 
as well try to stop the rush of the rapids of 
Niagara, as to try to stop such men in the 
performance of their duty. They were no 




NIAGARA AND THE EAST 


75 


mercenary grafters, seeking for the spoils of 
office; there was no room in their hearts for 
selfishness; they w r ere overflowing with the 
spirit of freedom, which penetrated the air and 
was breathed by every loyal son of America. 
The institutions they established, and the 
buildings they congregated in should be rev¬ 
erenced by every man that calls America his 
home. Long stand Carpenter and Liberty 
Halls! their walls speak to us of trials and 
triumphs; they stand as a sacred monument 
to a progressive and civilized world. 

There is a village of 300,000 on the banks of 
the Potomac that I want to call your attention 
to. It can boast of no great commercial con¬ 
quest, neither are its private vaults groaning 
with an over load of bonds and securities; 
though there is one vault in this city that 
would satisfy the greed of a Vandal; this 
vault is called in the English language the 
United States Treasury. If you had the 
revenue received here in one day, you could 
go on a fishing trip and stay all summer; and 
if you can make arrangements with Uncle 
Sam to lease the machinery (and privileges) 
for making those nice crisp twenty-dollar bills, 
I would like to have the job of counting them, 
just to see how they feel. Uncle Sam is a 
good old sport, he will give you one of these 
bright new bills for your old torn and ragged 
one, then he takes that old ragged one and 


76 


A DRUMMER’S EXPERIENCE 


grinds it up into pulp to make miniature 
Washington monuments. I have one of these 
toys that cost me twenty-five cents and it has 
a tag on the bottom that says, “ estimated 
amount of bills in this monument $5,000.” 
This is the cheapest money I ever bought; 
no man need complain of hard times when he 
can get that much money for twenty-five 
cents. If you are mechanically inclined and 
have six months time that you can spare, I 
would like to take you through the Patent 
office. I will show you inventions from cam¬ 
bric needles to traction engines; here are 
thousands of ideas consummated into com¬ 
plete working models, patented by the greatest 
geniuses the world has ever known. I will 
also show you the clumsy and awkward model 
gotten up by the novice. Here you can see 
thousands of impractical ideas that are ab¬ 
solutely worthless, though the author of them 
often thinks they should revolutionize the 
world. Every line and branch of business is 
here represented, but it is like a street car, it 
is never full; there is not another patent office 
on the globe that has issued one-half the 
patents that ours has. The Yankee is the 
most original thinker and the most resource¬ 
ful of any nationality in the world; his mind is 
ever at work, and it usually brings forth fruit 
in abundance. There has been more progress 
made in the last seventy-five years than was 




Statuary, Buffalo Exposition 























NIAGARA AND THE EAST 


79 


made in three thousand years before. There 
is not a line of business but has gone forward 
by leaps and bounds. If it were possible for 
one of our forefathers of two hundred years 
ago to wake up, he would be willing to take 
oath that he never lived in this country. You 
cannot compare the last seventy-five or one 
hundred years with any other period in the 
world’s history; it stands alone and aloof, like 
a monument erected to progress. Possibly 
there has been no more accomplished in lit¬ 
erature than in a corresponding period of the 
fifteenth of sixteenth century, but as for arts 
and science, it not only equals but outstrips 
the progress of all time past. In social ad¬ 
vantages and enlightment of the masses, it 
has taken strides that has surprised even the 
advocates of reform. We will not go into 
details, as this book is not a history. What 
we wish to do is to impress upon your mind 
that you live in the best period of time, that 
the world has ever known; that progress is 
sweeping over the land like a tidal wave 
where opportunity hangs before you as the 
fruit upon the heavy laden tree. I want to 
congratulate you that you live in a country 
that gave birth to freedom and equal rights; 
at the same time let me implore you, do not 
abuse your freedom by imposing on the liberty 
of others; unbridled liberty is a twin brother 
of anarchy , outraged freedom becomes slavery; 


80 


A DRUMMER’S EXPERIENCE 


happy the people who know enough to live 
within their sphere. 

If you want to know something of the 
power of Uncle Sam visit the War and Navy 
departments. Here you can learn something 
of the strength of our war footing, though 
in this department, they are not handing out 
information in big chunks, but if you are good 
at reading between the lines, you can get 
enough to satisfy you that we are not an in¬ 
fant in swaddling clothes and that we are keep¬ 
ing in touch with the vital issues of the day. 
If the anchor of a war vessel is dropped five 
thousand miles away we hear the sound. The 
maps of the world are as familiar to the men 
in charge, as the streets of your town are to 
you, and as for existing conditions in foreign 
countries, we are better informed than you 
are about neighbor’s quarrels. Our doctors 
here keep a finger on the pulse of the world at 
all times, and from time to time hold a con¬ 
sultation and diagnose the case; but the medi¬ 
cine that is used is of a mild form and a sur¬ 
geon is summoned as a last resort. But when 
he does come there is something doing; the 
amputation is usually performed without 
chloroform and the patient put under guard 
at the detention ward. 

, Now if you imagine that Uncle Sam is not 
a farmer just go down to the agricultural 
department and ask the men in charge if 


NIAGARA AND THE EAST 


81 


“Spuds” are the same as potatoes; ask him 
what kind of a cow will give the best milk; 
ask him “any old” question; he is a walking 
encyclopedia, and he likes to please his chil¬ 
dren by giving them flower seeds, and telling 
them how to raise black pigs without the 
squeal. 

It was at one time considered that anybody 
could farm, whether he had any gray matter 
or not, but this has all been changed. The 
farmer today makes a study of his business 
the same as the chemist or the doctor. Sys¬ 
tem and economy should enter into farming 
just the same as into the manufacture of 
goods. Diversity of crops is the keynote of 
the farmer. 

The government is doing a wonderful work 
in the experimental farms; learning what is 
adapted to certain climates and localities, 
and soils. This experimental work has put 
thousands of dollars into the farmers’ pockets. 
The American farmer is the most prosperous 
of all tillers of the soil on the earth. Do you 
appreciate it? 

To a student of natural history, there is 
nothing more interesting than a stroll through 
the Smithsonian Institute. Here are thou¬ 
sands of rare curiosities from every clime, 
comprising the products of air, land and sea; 
here you can study the life of pre-historic 
monsters, that thousands of years ago had 


82 


A DRUMMER’S EXPERIENCE 


dominion over this, and other parts of the 
world; here is the reproduction of the mighty 
mastodon representing a family of quadrupeds 
that at one time held sway over the Western 
Hemisphere. Possibly he was exterminated 
by the cliff dwellers, mound builders or Aztecs. 
At any rate, he has not lived for many years, 
though parts of his skeleton are often found 
in the West at the present day. It was my 
good fortune to see one of the thigh bones of 
this monster, in Oklahoma five years ago, and 
it was in a perfect state of preservation. See 
this monster of the deep, Octopus by name, 
is it fish, crab or serpent? Nothing like it is 
in existence at the present day. 

Why are these animals and monsters a thing 
of the past? It is only the footprints of time . 
the passing of all things! See this meteor, 
that was flung from another world, whirled 
through space! Is not this wonderful? Does 
this suggest anything to you? Does it not 
seem that the laws of gravity in all planets are 
not the same? Here are queer sights and mon¬ 
strosities on every hand and if you ever visit 
the City of Washington do not fail to spend 
a half day in this building. 

But there is another building more exten¬ 
sive. The National Museum, the most ex¬ 
clusive exhibit of its kind in the United States. 
Here you can see every bird and animal, every 
fish and insect as natural as if alive. The 


NIAGARA AND THE EAST 


83 


taxidermists’ art is here displayed to perfection. 
Take any family of birds, and you can see side 
by side from two to a dozen different varieties 
and all of the same species; and they are 
usually mounted to show their native charac¬ 
teristics. It is not hard to imagine that you 
are in the forests amid their native haunts. 
Here you can see the actual costumes of our 
forefathers, their implements of war and do¬ 
mestic machinery. Here you are forced to 
draw a contrast between the ages that have 
gone before and the present; you wonder how 
they lived; you cannot understand how they 
got along without the modern machinery. A 
close observer can acquire more knowledge in 
this building in one day’s time than he could 
learn from books in a year. When you look 
around you are astounded, bewildered with 
the mass of the collection. You should not 
attempt to investigate all this wonderful col¬ 
lection in one day. No mind can retain so 
vast a sea of detail. 

Within a stone’s throw of this building is 
the Medical Museum. This is very exhaus¬ 
tive on the human body. Here you can see 
in wax the progress of disease as it eats into 
the vital organ; here you can see the deformi¬ 
ties of man, and his abnormal conditions. 
Yes, here are sights that you will never want 
to see but once, though very instructive. I 
have never missed an opportunity that pre- 


84 


A DRUMMER’S EXPERIENCE 


sented itself to delve into natural history. I 
have gone at different times to museums and 
to world’s fairs with friends, and I am invari¬ 
ably the last one to leave the buildings. It has 
a fascination that is overpowering. Here are 
the products of nature clothed by the arts of 
man; here is no fiction or deception; here is 
the deepest study known to man. Why these 
different species and conditions? What ob¬ 
ject in a divine power to produce all this vast 
array of animal life? What is accomplished 
by their existence? What end do they attain 
to? These and many other suggestions rush 
to my mind and clamor for answer. 

Near the Medical Museum is the Fish Com¬ 
mission. Here the speckled beauties are turn¬ 
ing up their silvery sides and sporting day and 
night. A hundred varieties of all the edible 
and game fish. You cannot spend a more 
pleasant hour anywhere in the city. It is 
positively refreshing to see these finny beauties 
at play. The fish, an emblem of happiness, 
free from care—every day is Sunday. Here 
is a lesson to be learned from one of the sim¬ 
plest of creation. What is existence that we 
should worry over it so? What does man ac¬ 
complish in life that he should sacrifice health, 
pleasure and honor, for the sake of appearances 
and position in society? 

The Washington Monument should be a 
monument to every man, woman and child, 


NIAGARA AND THE EAST 


85 


who claims the protection of the stars and 
stripes. This is not only a monument to the 
first president of the United States; but it is 
a monument to education, a monument to en- 
lightment, a monument to equality, a monu¬ 
ment to peace, a monument to civilization and 
a monument to freedom. Who can look up¬ 
on it without reverence! Who can ascend to 
its pinnacle and cast the eye over the historic 
Potomac and the land of the free where men 
of fortitude, suffered and died for the princi¬ 
ples of honor that your posterity might reap 
the benefits of enlightenment, progress and 
prosperity? This monument is five hundred 
and fifty feet high and every foot, every inch 
of it represents a compilation of valorous deeds 
and heroism that shine as bright as Venus. 
Here is something to be proud of; if you feel 
no sensation on beholding this monument 
erected to the father of our country, you are 
not capable of thinking; you have never at¬ 
tained the dignity of a man; you are not an 
American citizen and should not claim pro¬ 
tection under the flag, and the principles that 
made us free. 

The Library of Congress deserves to be 
classed among the finest buildings of the old 
world. Here is something to interest the 
architect, the artist and the critic. The floors 
are composed of mosaic work in many artistic 
designs and is a gem of beauty. All the walls 


86 


A DRUMMER’S EXPERIENCE 


are frescoed in mosaic work, wrought into 
designs of exquisite beauty. There are a 
great many alcoves, and each is adorned with 
the statue of some renowned poet, author or 
painter; and from the ceilings are hung ex¬ 
quisite cut glass chandeliers that reflect the 
light in myriads of shades and gives the whole 
aspect a cast of fairy land. There are hun¬ 
dreds of bookcases of the latest revolving 
designs and containing the works of the most 
renowned authors; men who by the pen have 
swayed the world, exterminated barbarism 
and dethroned kings, established equity and 
civilization among man. 

These are men who will live'in the hearts of 
the people, when kings, warriors and divines 
have faded in the memory of an enlightened 
race! 

There are more things of interest in Wash¬ 
ington according to its size than any other city 
on the globe. Here are interests that appeal 
to the patriotism and arouse the best that is 
in a man. The pride of being a member of the 
greatest nation on the face of the earth is 
enough to bring the blood to the cheek and 
sparkle to the eye, make the heart beat with joy, 
and the brain pulsate with ambition. Ascend 
the steps of the Capitol and stand on the spot 
where men who have been honored by the 
people to fill the highest office in the land, have 
taken the oath of office to carry out the princi- 


NIAGARA AND THE EAST * 87 

pies as advocated by the founders of our gov¬ 
ernment. This oath has never been betrayed. 
What does it mean? . That these men so elect¬ 
ed have a common interest with the rest of 
mankind; that they are faithful and patriotic 
and that the power of impeachment is reposed 
in the people. When you walk into the halls 
of congress and stand under the roof that 
sheltered an Adams, Jefferson, Lincoln and 
McKinley, you feel your pride grow within 
you, you feel the choking of patriotism in 
your throat and the tear of sympathy in your 
eye. 

Stand here in the Senate in the quiet of the 
twilight and listen. Can you not hear the 
voice of Calhoun or Webster, pleading with 
the power of a Cicero, for the equal rights 
of man? pleading for union, harmony and 
strength? But I am not one to say that the 
days of the Websters, Calhouns, and Lincolns 
are past. To bring out what is in the man, 
you must have the opportunities and the 
emergencies to demand it. We have men to¬ 
day in the House and Senate, men that are 
just as honorable, just as patriotic and just as 
able to sway the multitude to fight for princi¬ 
ples and produce results, as any that have gone 
before. Where there is a Thermopylae there 
is a Leonidas; where there is an ocean there is 
a Columbus; where there is need for valor, 
there is a hero! 


88 • A DRUMMER’S EXPERIENCE 


We will never have a death of ambition and 
patriotism. Liberty breeds aspirations , self 
reliance and a love for one y s country. This love 
is the fundamental principle of our govern¬ 
ment; on this is built our hopes and aspira¬ 
tions. Men who are forced to uphold a mon¬ 
archy have not the enthusiasm, have not the 
ambition to strive for the goal, like men who 
are contending for their individual rights and 
for the protection of a government which they 
have helped to establish. LIBERTY IS 
BORN OF INDEPENDENCE; AND INDE¬ 
PENDENCE HAS FOR ITS SIRE AND 
DAME, PRIDE AND PROGRESS, TWO 
PRINCIPLES THAT KNOW NO LORD 
AND MASTER,SAVE REASON AND JUS¬ 
TICE! 


Chapter VIII 
ABUSED CONDITIONS 

Every man, woman and child should be glad, 
exceedingly glad, that they live on American 
soil, under the Stars and Stripes. People who 
are always kicking, complaining on everybody 
but themselves, abusing the country, the pub¬ 
lic institutions, general conditions and the gov¬ 
ernment should go to other countries for a 
while, live under their rules and regulations 
and endure their hardships. Let them live 
there in ignorance, surrounded by clannish¬ 
ness, no luxuries and but few of the comforts 
of life, then let them come back to America. 
I will wager a new hat that they shed tears of 
joy when they first see the Stars and Stripes 
floating in the free air of his native land. 

There are a great many men who cannot 
stand prosperity. As soon as they get a taste 
of liberty and the good things of life they are 
like the lion who smells blood, they go crazy. 
The greatest trouble-makers we have are men 
who come from a foreign shore and were raised 
in ignorance and squalor. By stinting him¬ 
self and family for five years he manages to 
land at Ellis Island. He is piloted up town and 
introduced to some politician who gives him 


90 


A DRUMMER’S EXPERIENCE 


the password arid assists him to take out his 
first naturalization papers. As soon as he gets 
his face washed and clean clothes on he wants 
to be the head of some secret order. He 
either gets into politics; or tries to run the 
industrial machinery of the country and to 
dictate to the men who have millions invested 
as to how they shall run their business; or 
worse still, he gets it into his head that as long 
as this is a free country he might as well help 
himself to his neighbor’s goods. 

The man who has been industrious and fru¬ 
gal and has accumulated a little, has a com¬ 
fortable home and lives like a man, his prop¬ 
erty is to be taxed so heavily that it w T ill be 
confiscated in five years. This money, so 
collected, is to be used to buy up the public 
utilities by the Government; and to employ 
his friend, the politician, as manager. 

Liberty is a bad thing, if taken in too large 
doses. Instead of acting on the brain and 
heart; it acts on the nerve and gall. There are 
some things which we, as Americans, the bone 
and sinew of the country, have a right to kick 
on. One of these is the manner in which some 
politicians try to run the country. They lie 
and scheme to get the offices. After they have 
gotten them, they pilfer the treasury and use 
their time to promote their own ends. 

The only remedy I see is for the voters to 
make it a rule to vote for no man who is habit- 




I 


Pie Crust in the West 















1 

. 



Straw Day, Walla Walla, Wash. 













ABUSED CONDITIONS 


93 


ually before the people. Especially if you see 
him associated with the opposite party. They 
are log-rollers. 

The Democrats and Republicans are like 
the two lawyers. Each had a rich client. 
They passed notes back and forth about post¬ 
ponement of suit, change of venue, etc. One 
day this note was sent, “ These are two fat 
geese; you pick one, and ITl pick the other.” 

Speaking about law-suits and courts. This 
is one thing that the people are getting 
“touchy” on. It is getting so bad that the 
most simple case cannot be tried in a week. 
There are technicalities from start to finish. 
If it is a case of any consequence, especially a 
murder case, it will hang on for years, the 
criminal in jail living off the country. Both 
he and the lawyer should be in the peniten¬ 
tiary, paying the penalty for disobeying the 
laws of the country. 

This is what has brought about the agita¬ 
tion for the recall of judges. There should 
be a recall of lawyers as well. If any attorney 
resorts to every trick of the profession to 
shield and clear the criminal he is as guilty as 
the culprit and should be ostracized by so¬ 
ciety. 

I want to register one more kick for the 
long suffering, and much duped public. The 
complaint I refer to is paying a man to boost 
his own game. Paying a man to run for 


94 


A DRUMMER’S EXPERIENCE 


office. Paying a man to think for you. Pay¬ 
ing a man to impose his ideas on you and ad¬ 
vocate his own cause. Paying a man for in¬ 
formation and then not getting it! Paying 
a man to impose on your good judgement. 
Paying a man to bore you. Paying a man to 
distort the truth. Do you know that this is 
being done in a great many communities? 
There is a great number of the newspapers 
in the United States that are controlled by 
politicians. These papers will resort to any 
scheme, stoop to any means to forward the 
interest of the politician or his party. Who 
pays for it? The public, by subscribing for 
and reading a sheet that they ought to know 
is a vile prevarication. A public medium that 
poses as a newspaper and is supposed to give 
the news, yet resorts to many nefarious 
schemes to cover up and suppress the news. 
Yet you, a man of intelligence, allow yourself 
to be duped into patronizing and maintaining 
such an imposition. You should have a 
guardian appointed for you. You are more 
to blame than the impostor. Wake up, be a 
man! Whether you are Republican, Demo¬ 
crat, Socialist or anything else, for the sake 
of your own dignity and the good of the coun¬ 
try, I implore you, do not subscribe for or 
read a paper which advocates a thing just so 
that certain proposition, man, or party may 
win. I beg of you do not be particeps criminis 


ABUSED CONDITIONS 


95 


with them. In this enlightened day, with our 
bustle of commerce, with our telephone, tele¬ 
graph, and wave system, at the command of 
the journalist, there is no excuse for him to 
feed us on stale jokes out of an almanac. 
Neither do we care for the old biscuit of 
prejudice, nor to drink of his cup of grief that 
he has filled from the bottle of sarcasm that is 
beginning to sour. 


Chapter IX 

THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A MAN AND 
A GENTLEMAN 

In comparison, the difference between a 
man and a gentleman is the difference be¬ 
tween an optimist and a pessimist. The 
optomistgets the doughnut and the pessimist 
gets the hole. Man is the male of the human 
family. He is no curiosity; he will never be 
placed in a museum as a relic. He has been 
in evidence on every continent and isle for 
thousands of years but has never accomplished 
much. He counts one in filling space, two 
in the eyes of his wife, and three in his own 
estimation; and when it comes to deciding 
questions he is the judge and all the jury. He 
measures everything and everybody by his 
own standard. This standard is a jointed 
rule; he can bend it or double it at will; it 
always works correctly in measuring his 
hobbies. What are his hobbies? Anything 
that he can’t understand or do; anything his 
fellow man accomplishes that is beyond his 
reach. Why does he not accomplish more? 
Because he is near-sighted; he does not see 
things until he bumps into them, and often 
he gets the worst of the collision. Who is to 



Goose Ranch, Pueblo 


























Outing, Colorado Springs to Royal Gorge 























A MAN AND A GENTLEMAN 


blame for it? Nobody in particular. I sug¬ 
gest that he consult an oculist and have his 
glasses changed. 

The gentleman is a different specimen. 
Bred by observation and experience, not con¬ 
trolled by impulse or imagination; one who 
weighs conditions in the balance of reason; 
who judges the future by the past; is open to 
argument, evidence and conditions; one who 
is willing to concede a point if it is proven; 
who will admit that the other fellow has rights 
and will respect them. This is the kind of a 
man who succeeds, be he millionaire or 
laborer. The world respects such a man and 
the doors of progress are thrown open to him. 
His path is made easy and is ojten strewn with 
roses. Furthermore, he is usually following 
in the path of least resistance. 

Then catch the tide and let it carry you on 
the waves of progress to prosperity. 

What this first mentioned specimen of 
humanity called a man really needs is to 
analyze himself, to apply the acid test, to 
learn what degree of magnetism he possesses; 
and to ascertain if the component parts that 
go to make up his decisions, actions and words, 
are in proper proportion, and weighed in a 
scale of justice. When he has diagnosed the 
case thoroughly and administered an antidote 
to purge himself of conceit and selfishness, he 
can then offer his influence and advice for 


100 


A DRUMMER’S EXPERIENCE 


sale to the highest bidder, and throw in his 
carcass for soap-grease. 

There are a lot of people called “human” 
that need renovating; they need to be im¬ 
pregnated with lye (not lie) and subjected to a 
temperature of 300 degrees, turned over and 
punched vigorously. But be careful and keep 
the pot covered, for the sake of sanitary con¬ 
ditions! We would not have to resort to such 
means as this, if these people would only let 
the breeze of progress strike them and would 
open the windows of their souls, so the sun¬ 
light of consistency could shine in and re¬ 
flect on their seared prejudice the good deeds 
of others. But instead they have barricaded 
their doors against enlightenment, with the 
iron bar of tradition and have even closed the 
hatchways of conviction, so proofs and argu¬ 
ments cannot shed a mellow light on the 
sombre scene. And even the keyhole in the 
door of enlightenment has been stuffed with 
the rags of prejudice. Now in their dungeon 
they grope about—“having eyes, they see 
not”—and the sounds of the chariot of prog¬ 
ress does not reach them. Enclosed in a 
dungeon of conceit and wrapped in a cloak of 
ignorance, surrounded by demons of envy, 
ever administering potions that clog the 
brain and petrifies the muscles, an object of 
pity! Will he never wake and throw off the 
shackles that bind him to this corpse of 


A MAN AND A GENTLEMAN 101 

ignorance, will he ever open the door of his 
dungeon and let in the blessed light of thought 
and conviction, will he learn to weigh con¬ 
ditions and men according to their value, will 
he learn to appreciate the good wherever 
found, will he learn to judge men and measures 
by the fruit they bear, will he learn to apply 
the acid test to himself and all humanity, 
w r ill he learn to harmonize his actions with his 
words, will he be in harmony with his sur¬ 
roundings, will he be considered safe and 
sound by his fellow men—and when? Not 
until he lets the light of the twentieth century 
shine upon his reason and electrify his energy 
with hope and ambition. Now let him lop 
off his hobbies and pull out prejudice by the 
roots,, throw r down the burden of custom and 
buckle on the roller skates of prosperity! Now 
will he be a winner? Ten to one on him. 



Capitol Building, Cheyenne, Wyo. 

































Chapter X 

CAN YOU BETTER YOUR CONDITION? 

It is said that every particle of matter on 
the face of the globe is in motion at all times. 
While this proposition might be a little hard 
to prove, we do know that man is ever pro¬ 
gressing or retrograding. He cannot stand 
still. He is forced forward by circumstances 
and impulses, or he is pulled backward by 
unavoidable conditions, or his own slothful¬ 
ness. This is the principle that has given us 
our progress and ability, our misery and pov¬ 
erty. 

I once heard a question put to a rich man. 
The question was this, “Why do you still 
work? Why do you exert yourself as you did 
twenty years ago? You now have all the 
worldly goods you will ever need, why do 
you not take your ease?” His answer was: 
“Your statement and your questions sound 
plausible. I have tried to check myself. I 
have determined more than once to lead a 
quiet life, but I cannot do it. I am restless 
when the hour arrives for all business men to 
go down town to look after their affairs; I 
cannot stay behind. There is a force that 
seems to drive me against my will. Not only 


104 A DRUMMER’S EXPERIENCE 

am I impelled by this invisible force, but I 
actually take delight in transacting business. 
For me to stop now would be for me to be 
miserable. And another thing urges me on; 
I have an ambition to accomplish, and a 
reputation to sustain. I have always been 
progressive and made money. If I stop now, 
I would go back, and I cannot stand the 
thought of being pointed out as a “ ‘has 
been / ” 

This lays the proposition before you as it 
really exists. An ambitious man must ever 
be on the move, and if he moves, it should be 
forward. 

Taking this as a nucleus, we assert that 
there is no such thing as a man being in a 
position where he cannot progress. If he has 
ambition, he is ever forging to the front. With 
man’s power of thought and concentration, 
conditions must give way. He can hew a 
path through a jungle of obstacles; he can 
remove mountains of difficulties; he can ford 
rivers of trouble, and scale the ladder to fame. 
ISlever allow yourself to think that there is 
nothing better in store for you. I have seen 
people bowed down by troubles, broken in 
health, and the hand of poverty resting heavily 
upon them; but they had ambition, will¬ 
power—they came out from under the load. 
Is your case as bad as theirs? Why can you 
not better your condition? There are only 


CAN YOU BETTER YOUR CONDITION 105 


two things that can ever keep you down—lack 
of energy and want of thought. Man fails be¬ 
cause he fails to try. Don’t tell me that 
your circumstances, your family ties, or the 
hand of Fate is holding you down. I do not 
believe it! The grandest characters, the 
brightest stars that the w r orld has ever known, 
all came through greater troubles than you 
ever knew. Why do I say so? Because 
they could not have attained their eminence, 
they could not have shone so brightly without 
having come through fire, the fire of trials 
and difficulties, which burned up the refuse 
and left nothing but the diamond! 

I take the position that no man reaches the 
zenith of his pow T er or position so long as he 
retains his physical strength or mental ability. 

To succeed you must make caution, per¬ 
severance and hope, your companions;be alive 
to opportunities, be open to conviction. 
There is no smooth and well-defined road to 
success; it is often through the woods, or 
over ways as rocky as the road to Dublin. 
Neither is it always strewn with garlands of 
roses. You cannot succeed if you travel 60 
miles an hour. Rome was not built in a day. 
There is a combination lock on success. Labor, 
thought and concentration will unlock it. 
Learn your combination before trying the 
bolt. After the door is unlocked, it is so 
heavy a child or a weakling cannot open it. 



106 


A DRUMMER’S EXPERIENCE 


Achievements are the result of capacity. 
N ever attempt a thing until you have analyzed 
its component parts; and do not attempt it 
then unless you have the time and inclina¬ 
tion to throw your whole soul into it. To 
attempt a thing in a half-hearted, luke-warm 
way is to fail. There may be times when 
you will have to rely on your courage only, 
but, if you are made of the right kind of stuff, 
it will not fail you. Many a grand principle 
has often hung by the thread of determination; 
but that thread in some men is stronger than a 
ship’s cable. We all may have temporary 
failures, but they should only strengthen us 
for the real battle; and victory is, or should 
be, measured by the obstacles we have over¬ 
come. The obstacle in your way may be a 
millstone or a pebble, a river, or a rivulet. 

Life is made up of infinitesimal details. It 
is these small things that make or break a 
man; they try his patience; they test his 
ability; they teach him to do the right thing 
at the right time; they teach him system and 
perseverance. I would not have you expect 
too much at one leap. You can strain your¬ 
self at the first effort, and weaken your 
ability to perform. The field of operation is 
vast, there is virtually no end to opportunities. 
Do not try to grasp too many at once. One 
thing at a time is sufficient for any man. 

In your efforts to better your condition, do 


CAN YOU BETTER YOUR CONDITION 107 

not take advantage of 3 ^our fellowman. Pre¬ 
pare yourself for higher positions, and any 
emergency. Water will seek its level, so will 
man find his sphere of action. The man who 
occupies the position above you at the present 
time will either be moved still higher up or be 
removed to other fields. Be prepared to take 
his place and do better service, if possible, 
than he ever did. 

You will find days that are cloudy and the 
winds of adversity will blow; but the darkest 
cloud has a silver lining, and the wind puri¬ 
fies the atmosphere. 

No man is too young or too old to start on 
the journey of a successful career. You have 
to play the game of life, why not play to 
win? Secure for yourself not only wealth, 
but honor and prestige. It has been sug¬ 
gested that a man be chloroformed and laid 
on the shelf when he reaches the age of sixty. 
The man who made the assertion should be 
entitled to another guess. Let us see. How 
old was Frederick the Great when he was in 
his prime? About 70. At what age was the 
Duke of Wellington a man among men? At 
83. The Duke Marlborough was a power at 
70; Francis Bacon a literary giant at 60; 
Count von Moltke on his 90th birthday re¬ 
ceived congratulations from all the civilized 
nations, acknowledging him as a world-pow r er. 
Victor Hugo was a shining light at 80; Bis- 


108 A DRUMMER'S EXPERIENCE 

marck, the man of blood and iron, had the 
energy and will of a giant till the last. Vic¬ 
toria was a queen and ruler at 82; Samuel 
Morse died at 81, honored as one of the great¬ 
est men of his day; Peter Cooper was a finan¬ 
cial wonder at 85; Daniel Webster was a 
monument of power when he was called to 
the other shore at 70. Does not this prove 
that the majority of our greatest men were 
at the height of their power and influence at 
a ripe old age? When is a man best prepared 
to do great things? When he has accumu¬ 
lated experience, knowdedge and power! There 
is indisputable evidence available to prove be¬ 
yond question, that there is no time, from the 
cradle to the grave, when it is not possible to 
progress. We do not infer that this progress 
can be made in leaps and bounds. No great 
principles have been verified, no great reforms 
have been wrought, in a day. The tiller of the 
soil must prepare his ground with care, and 
cultivate his crops diligently in order to reap 
a bounteous harvest. Your ability is the soil; 
your perseverance, the cultivation; and your 
reward, the harvest. 

In the path of the life of all young people 
there is a parting of the ways—one road leads 
to achievements, and the other to sloth and 
degradation. The one to the right means 
work; yes, more than eight hours a day! If 


CAN YOU BETTER YOUR CONDITION 109 


you turn to the left you will find truant friends 
ever ready to play. 

I am persuaded that every American has a 
desire to conquer, and ambition to gratify. 
What that desire or ambition amounts to in 
you, is to be proven by your actions. You 
possess the latent power and the ability to 
accomplish, but you must kindle the fire of 
zeal. Which is better, to allow your mind to 
canker and rust or to keep it polished with 
the friction of opposition, and the sand of 
time? The mind is like a mountain stream, 
ever rushing onward. You cannot stop the 
flood, but you can divert it. You can build 
mammoth reservoirs and store this flood, con¬ 
serving it to irrigate the fertile soil and bring 
forth abundant harvest. The thoughts of 
great men have ever been stored in ware¬ 
houses of experience, to be drawn upon in case 
of dearth. 

There is one grand, good principle in 
America; you need neither birth nor riches to 
assist you in mounting the granite steps that 
lead to the Capitol. You have the material and 
the tools to build a man to fit the big chair in the 
Whitehouse. Don’t deceive yourself into be¬ 
lieving that the people will ever reduce the 
size of the chair! Men have occupied this 
throne of American honor who were college 
professors, mule-drivers, and rail-splitters. 
Why not you? Is there a record in the annals 


110 


A DRUMMER’S EXPERIENCE 


of history where a coward, where a “ doubting 
Thomas,” ever wrote his name high upon the 
scroll of fame? No! He is afraid to climb 
the ladder. Opportunities of the 20th Cen¬ 
tury hang like luscious fruit before the eye, 
ready to be gathered and preserved for future 
use. It is said that “ Opportunity knocks at 
every man’s door,” but if she should happen 
to overlook you, what are you going to do 
about it? By all means, call on her and form 
her acquaintance. File an application for the 
best job she has. She is employing workmen 
every day, and she much prefers skilled 
mechanics. 

Resolutions and good intentions amount 
to nothing; only actions count. Our future 
depends upon what we do today. Men and 
women who have made their mark are people 
of action. They think, they act NOW. 
Thought, action and nerve have pulverized 
millstones; timidity and procrastination never 
crushed a pebble. Moses could not have led 
the Israelites out of Egypt, Titus could not 
have captured Jerusalem, Columbus could not 
have discovered America, had they not been 
men of stamina, determination and everlast¬ 
ing persistence. Self-confidence demonstrates 
itself in work and invites inspection. You are 
not ashamed of the goods, and the invoice will 
show that all the caskets are full and that 
your store-house is kept in order. Modesty 



CAN YOU BETTER YOUR CONDITION 111 


and Boldness are of the same parent stock; 
one is daring and open; the other, an excess 
of pride covered by a veil. The world may 
admire a humble man, but you cannot drive 
the wedge of success with timidity. The man 
who is aggressive is a leader and a victor. 
People are not looking for your worth, with 
a lantern. You have to advertise yourself. 
You must show confidence and back it by 
your assertiveness, but use some discretion 
on this last point. Do not hide your light 
under a bushel; do not stay at home and ex¬ 
pect the people to come after you with a 
carriage to convey you to the banquet that 
is spread to Progress; and where bouquets are 
handed to the most deserving. Self-confi¬ 
dence is worth more to you than riches. If 
you lose the latter, it is hard to regain. You 
may also have the starch of self-confidence 
taken out of you, but it is like “Old Faithful” 
(geyser) —it cannot be held down, it will play 
again. You must have confidence in your 
ability before you can hope to impress it upon 
others. Look to your own resources, draw 
your supply of oil from your own well and fur¬ 
nish the wind to drive the pump. Cut yourself 
loose from the support of others; stand like the 
sturdj r oak that has its roots imbedded among 
the rocks. A man is never so weak as when 
he has lost confidence in himself. Let your 
actions be the hinges of success or failure, your 


112 


A DRUMMER S EXPERIENCE 


decision the lock and your will-power the key. 
This flood-gate should be hung on reversible 
hinges, to let out failures and to let in suc¬ 
cesses. The shadow of a difficulty is larger 
than the object . “ He who has lost confidence 

can lose nothing more.” The man who relies 
on others for advice will always play second 
fiddle. He is a cipher and does not deserve 
help, would not know how to use it to advan¬ 
tage if he had it. Do not depend on your 
Daddy. Develop your latent talents. You 
will not know what is in your storehouse if 
you never take an inventory. Do not cling 
to others for support, like the ivy to the oak. 
It is not the man who is left a heritage that 
makes his mark. It is not the hothouse plant, 
but the plant that is exposed to the blast and 
the chill of the mountainside, that can stand 
the tempest. 


Chapter XI 

WHAT IS THE MATTER WITH AMERICA? 

A consultation of a financial board of doc" 
tors should be called to diagnose the case- 
There is no doubt but that the patient has 
relapsed and should be given a purgative at 
once, to be followed up with an antidote to 
counteract the overdose of prosperity. High 
living and opulence has poisoned the blood; 
she must be dieted, and a tonic should be pre¬ 
scribed to build up the whole system. It is 
not lack of medicine that has caused the de¬ 
rangement, but rather too much medicine. 
We have had a board of doctors 'practising on 
her—that’s what is the matter. They have 
practised too much, and the professional bills 
that have been presented are astounding. We 
do not claim that these were “ quack ” doctors. 
No; , they were post graduates of the best 
schools in the country. They kept the pa¬ 
tient feeling well by administering stimulants 
and by “jollying” her continually. At the 
same time they had a great many leeches at 
her breast sucking her life-blood. “Oh!” 
You say, “ The dirty rascals! ” Yes, that is right. 

And who were this board of physicians? 
Well there were quite a number of them. 
They came from all parts of the country. 
There was a Wool and Hide doctor from the 


114 


A DRUMMER’S EXPERIENCE 


West, and on the same train and in the same 
coach there came an Ore doctor, a Lumber 
doctor, a Sugar and Beet doctor, and a Cattle 
doctor. And did you notice that when the 
conductor came through for fares these doc¬ 
tors all looked dignified and handed him a 
piece of paper out of their morrocco card 
cases on which were the words, ‘,Annual 
Pass”. The conductor smiled and looked 
wise. 

When this select band got to Washington 
they were greeted by the leaders of both the 
House and Senate with hearty hand-shakes 
and significant smiles—but no brass band. 
That would have given the snap away. The 
next thing in order was to summon all the 
braves to a secret pow-wow. Invitations 
were sent to all the Eastern doctors: Dr. Dry- 
goods, Dr. Shoes, Dr. Hats, Dr. Steel, Dr. Oil, 
Dr. Wall Street, Dr. Special Interests, Dr. 
Labor, Dr. Bail Roads, ad infinitum. Then 
a love feast and “ counting of noses.” They 
swore to love and protect each other and 
especially to SCRATCH EACH OTHER'S 
BACKS. The organization being completed, 
descent was made on Congress, like vultures 
on a carcass, and when they got through— 
well, there wasn't much left for the pigs. 

We hear the cry: We must have protection; 
we must have the money derived from tariff 
to run the government. Now go off and sit 



WHAT IS THE MATTER WITH AMERICA 115 


down on a log and think this over. You may 
have my seat; I am just through diagnosing 
the case. 

Do you know that at least 50 per cent of 
our tariff schedules are so high that the foreign 
manufacturer cannot pay this tariff; conse¬ 
quently he does not attempt to ship to our 
shores, and therefore no duty is collected? 
This does not swell our treasury, does it? Dr. 
Manufacturer says he must be protected 
against foreign cheap labor. He works this 
scheme like the merchant in Frisco worked 
the freight deal. A lady priced some hand¬ 
kerchiefs. They were 25 cents each. The 
lady said: “Why, I can get this grade and 
pattern in St. Louis for 10 cents each.” “ Yes,” 
answered the merchant, “but our freight, 
rates are so much higher.” Why should 
ninety millions of people pay out $2.00 for a 
$1.50 article? You are doing it. W r hy do 
we make laws to protect ten per cent of the 
people to the detriment of the other ninety 
per cent? They say, “Look at us, the richest 
and greatest nation on earth.” “Correct, 
Johnny, but before you go to the head of the 
class let me ask you a question or two. Who 
has all this money? The manufacturer and the 
protected interests?” “Yes.” “Whom did 
they get it from, the common people?” 
“Yes.” “Have the common people received 
any benefits?” “No, nobody but the labor 


116 


A DRUMMER’S EXPERIENCE 


unions—a very small amount has filtered 
through onto them.” The unions have been 
used as scape-goats for the manufacturer. 
Where the union man received $1.00 increase 
in wages, he has paid out $1.50 additional on 
account of the high cost of living, caused by 
the combinations of the different interests. 
If you will show me where we, the common 
herd, have been benefited, I will show you 
that two and two makes one. 

I think it would be a good idea to stop and 
look back, and see how far we have come! 
This is a hilly road we are traveling and be¬ 
fore we strike the next grade, it might be well 
to examine the brakes. 

Another great fault is restlessness. A great 
number of our people are not satisfied with 
any condition, although they may be sur¬ 
rounded by every comfort and luxury, have 
pleasant homes, congenial friends, health and 
a good job. They are not content. They 
want to change from place to place. They 
will sacrifice their jobs, sell their goods at a 
great loss, pull up and go to some new country. 
There they have to buy new furniture and 
fittings, making a complete loss of from $300 
to $1,000. And now they are in a new country 
among strangers and without employment. 
Not only that, the chances are the country is 
no better than that from which they came. 

Here is a good place to tell you the con- 


WHAT IS THE MATTER WITH AMERICA 117 


elusions arrived at by your humble servant 
after traveling for thirty-six years. 

The United States is by far the best country 
of the face of the globe. We stand like the 
Rock of Gibralter, firm and impregnable. 
But as regards the best part of the United 
States, that depends wholly on what vocation, 
occupation or profession you wish to follow. 
I will outline a few and tell you where I 
think is the best place as a whole. If you are 
a stock and bond dealer, go to New York or 
Chicago. In these two cities the bonds and 
stocks of all important corporations in the 
country are listed for sale. Here you can feel 
the pulse of the financial world day or night, 
but you will need some experience, money 
and nerve. A man or woman who has had no 
experience in dealing in these securities should 
be very cautious. You must have a knowl¬ 
edge of the value of different securities. 
If not, you should trust your buying and 
selling to some one in whom you have confi¬ 
dence. That man should not only be honest 
but should be posted as to the conditions. 
He should know the amount of the indebted¬ 
ness, the date of issue, and the maturity of 
stocks or bonds; the amount of interest pay¬ 
able, the amount of the assets of the corpora¬ 
tion and the amount of business they are 
doing, and should see that the bonds and 
stocks are payable before the expiration of 


118 


A DRUMMER’S EXPERIENCE 


their charters. If you are a merchant and 
have a fairly good trade, stay where you are. 
Unless you have lost your trade through bad 
management or your town is down and out, 
you are taking big chances in pulling out for 
a new country, (I mean a country new to 
you). There is no new country, properly 
speaking, for your business, go where you 
please; and competition is keen the world 
over. You will also find that the merchants 
extend credit all over the country. But if you 
want to take your chances, go to the Central 
West, to the Northwest, or West. Do not go 
South or East. If you are in search of land that 
will always last, you can find it in the Missis¬ 
sippi Valley. It is high in price and will not 
increase in value very much, but it will not 
depreciate. If you want speculative land that 
is likely to make you a fortune, go to the 
South, though the land is not so rich as in the 
Mississippi and Missouri Valley. If you 
want land that will actually get richer every 
year, go to the West, but be very sure you 
invest where the water rights are good. 
Colorado, Idaho and Montana have fine lands, 
ranging from $60 to $100 per acre. Day 
laborers and mechanics of all kinds find better 
wages in the Rocky Mountain districts. It is 
better here than in the East or the far West. 

Now to sum the whole thing up, the country 
as a whole is very similar. As for big snaps 


WHAT IS THE MATTER WITH AMERICA 119 


and pickups, they are not to be found. You 
will have to hustle wherever you go, and in 
going into a new country you should take at 
least $300 to $500 with you. You will be 
among strangers and you may not find a job 
at once. Poverty is no disgrace but it is very 
inconvenient, especially in a strange land. 
If you have bad health where you are, go to 
another climate. But don’t do like the wild 
goose, migrate twice a year. I know of people 
that keep the railroad hot between Colorado 
and California, but their pocketbooks usually 
look as if they been run over by a street roller. 
With some people the El Dorado is always 
ahead. They remind one of the gypsy that 
was always on the move, and who, when 
asked his idea of the country, always con¬ 
demned the one he happened to be in at the 
time. 

Our subject -is, What is the Matter with 
America? We mean by this, what is the 
matter with the people of America? A great 
many of them fail to think. I would like to 
see organized in every state, in every county, 
in every town and village and every precinct, 
a Cash Club. This would save you more 
trouble and make you more money than any¬ 
thing you could possibly do. It would be 
better for you and better for the merchants. 
Both the cash and the credit customer are 
today paying too much for their goods. It is 


120 


A DRUMMER’S EXPERIENCE 


a self-evident fact that the merchant cannot 
sell as cheap on credit as he could for cash— 
not as he does sell for cash. Every merchant 
who sells a dollar’s worth on time, has to sell 
at a higher price than the merchant who sells 
exclusively for cash. If a merchant sells 
goods to the amount of $1,000, to a dozen 
people on time, he is going to lose some of 
that amount. Who has to make that good? 
You, the cash and the credit customers of that 
merchant. It costs the merchant money to 
buy credit account systems, to buy duplicate 
slips, and it takes him, and his clerks half of 
their time to charge goods and take care of the 
accounts. Every merchant loses goods by 
failure to charge, and makes enemies by al¬ 
lowing errors to creep into his accounts. Any 
honest merchant will admit that it takes about 
one-half of his profits to cover losses of every 
nature in his credit business. Now, if he is a 
business man he will add enough over and 
above a legitimate profit to cover this loss. 
Both the cash customer and the good credit 
customer have to stand this percentage. It 
is very evident that you could buy your goods 
from 10% to 25% cheaper if everybody paid 
cash. What would this amount to in a year 
to a family of six people? What would it 
amount to in your community or in your 
town? What would it amount to in the 
United States? Millions of dollars every 


WHAT IS THE MATTER WITH AMERICA 121 


year. Is it worth investigating? Is it worth 
your time, and your neighbor’s time to form 
clubs and bind yourselves to buy only for 
cash; and from the merchant who sells only 
for cash. We hear the objection raised that 
everybody cannot buy for cash. There are 
very few exceptions and the exceptions apply 
for a short period only. There is not one case 
out of a hundred but what the family could 
economize for sixty days, and by that time 
would have sufficient money to pay cash dur¬ 
ing the ensuing month. But if the family 
have no monthly income, as, for instance, a 
farmer who now runs his account for, say, 
six months; he can give a mortgage on his 
team or his growing crops. This money will 
not cost him more than 7 or 8%, and with the 
cash so secured, he can save on an average 15% 
in living expenses. Is it economy? In ad¬ 
dition to this, the man who borrows $100 at the 
bank to run him for the season will make 
that $100 do him for the season, while if he is 
extended credit, he will invariably spend 
one-half more. This is what keeps his nose 
to the grindstone. Look around you. Think. 
Investigate. You will find that the man 
who is complaining of hard times, is not the 
cash man. It is the man who says, “Charge 
it.” Take it upon yourself to call on your 
neighbors and agitate this matter. Form a 
club, taking in half or all of the neighborhood, 


122 


A DRUMMER’S EXPERIENCE 


bind yourself to pay cash for everything, then 
go to one of your best merchants and tell him 
your scheme. Show him your names and 
the amount of cash you have pledged. See 
him figure! He will surprise you. This will 
put money into the merchant’s hands, so that 
he can buy for cash and get the trade dis¬ 
counts. This principle will stop buyers from 
sending their money out of the country to 
the mail order houses. Why can the mail 
order houses sell cheaper than your country 
merchant? Because you send them the cash 
and they in turn buy for cash. This principle 
put in force will enable your merchant to 
carry a better assortment of goods and also 
make it possible for him to give more atten¬ 
tion to waiting on customers. If he is now 
employing three clerks he can dispense with 
one of them. It will keep the money in cir¬ 
culation in your town and county, instead of 
it lying in the banks. Better for you, better 
for the merchant, better for the banker. 
Try it and be convinced. It will cut down 
the high cost of living more than all the theories 
that can he concocted. Legislators can pass 
laws, but laws cannot give you prosperity. 
Laws are enacted as a safeguard and for the 
protection of man’s inherent rights. They 
are essential and indispensable, but cannot 
rectify a great many existing evils. This 
must be done as a body. 



City of Seattle 

























WHAT IS THE MATTER WITH AMERICA 125 


Another fault of the American people is that 
of living beyond their means. They are too 
high-strung. They have been accustomed to 
plenty of money for thirty-five years; and they 
are now making the mistake of thinking that 
it will always come easy. Our development 
work is not as great as it was in former years. 
Capital is not loosening up and the demand 
for a great many kinds of goods is very limi¬ 
ted. Commerce is congested, warehouses 
filled. There is not as much work in the 
country as there was formerly. Business is 
temporarily stagnated; it is not demoralized; 
but people are overstocked with goods; and 
the future not being very bright, they are 
conservative in laying in further supplies. 
There is nothing that resembles a panic, nor 
will there be one. The weather will clear 
and we will have a good voyage if every man 
does his duty. Making a living is no child’s 
play; it requires thought and action® it 
requires that every man live within his 
means, and eat fruit under his own fig tree. 
Pay no attention to agitators. They are 
working to feather their own nests. They tell 
you that they love you. They do love for 
you to pull their chestnuts out of the fire. 
Learn to think for yourself. Learn to read 
men’s thoughts. If you cannot think for 
yourself, employ a guardian to think for you. 
It is cheaper and you will get the tip straight. 



Chapter XII 

GARDEN OF THE GODS 

The action of volcanoes. The heaving up 
of the bowels of the earth, together with the 
action of the wind and rain; these measured 
by the sands of time for thousands of years, 
have wrought with a skilled hand some won¬ 
derful formations in the Rocky Mountains. 
One of those Art Galleries is the world-famed 
“ Garden of the Gods,” nestled in the foot¬ 
hills, watched over by the towering spire of 
Pike’s Peak, washed by the crystal waters of 
melting snow, fanned by the purest mountain 
breezes, and bathed in the glorious light of a 
Colorado sun, lies in mute appeal this wonder¬ 
ful formation. 

The site of this Garden was once the center 
of some great upheaval; an earthquake or 
volcano. This powerful commotion upturned 
the ancient rocks, set them on their edge in 
fantastic shapes, and filled around them with 
sand and debris. The action of the water 
and wind, and the finger of time has worked 
and worn away the sand and loose stone, till 
now these grotesque forms stand out to view 
as sentinels of time. A great many of these 





% 


Gateway to Garden of the Gods 




















Alligator Rock, Garden of the Gods 


9 








GARDEN OF THE GODS 


129 


forms resemble people and animals. The seal 
and bear, the kissing camel, are all true to 
life. Old Mother Grundy is a reproduction 
of some of the old women we can call to mind. 
This old rock actually looks human and in¬ 
telligent. The Cathedral Spires is the ad¬ 
miration of all tourists. Who can look upon 
the two companion rocks, side by side, with¬ 
out exclaiming, “Siamese Twins !” neither 
do you have to draw on your imagination to 
see the lion, pictured on the rock at the gate¬ 
way. I dare say that some of the so-called 
painters of the country might get some 
pointers from this rock. Then the Balance 
Rock has posed for more cameras than any 
other view in America. This rock weighs 
hundreds of tons and stands on a small pedal 
about the size of your two hands. To a 
casual observer it would seem that the least 
wind would topple it over. The toad-stool 
formation, in Mushroom Park, is a wonderful 
sight. There are a great number and variety 
of them, and no two alike. The action of the 
elements has worn away the soft stone and 
sand; and left the harder strata standing as a 
mushroom or a toadstool, with only a small 
pedestal to support it. To a student of 
nature these sights are very interesting, and 
one can spend a week admiring the freaks of 
nature in this one spot. But I cannot do 
justice to myself, nor the reader, without 



130 


A DRUMMER’S EXPERIENCE 


speaking of other attractions in this same 
vicinity, that should be seen by every Ameri¬ 
can. Did you know, my friend, that the 
Rocky Mountains are richer in scenery than 
the Alps and Himalyas combined? Then 
“why not see America first;” if you decide 
that you want to see the grandest and most 
awe-inspiring scenery in the world, make a 
trip to the Pike’s Peak region; visit “William’s 
Canon, Cave of the Winds, The Scenic In¬ 
cline, the High Drive, Crystal Park, Seven 
Falls, Cheyenne Canon, Cliff Dwellers,” and 
if you have good lungs and strong limbs, start 
early and walk to the top of Pike’s Peak, 
15,000 feet above sea level. Though if you 
are not accustomed to walking, or have that 
“tired feeling” you had better take the Cog- 
road. This starts from the town of Manitou 
and goes to the summit, where you can see 
how the world is built; look down on Colorado 
Springs and the plains as far as the eye can 
see; now look southeast, and view the city 
of Pueblo, 45 miles away; telegraph your 
friends that you are on the top round of the 
ladder of your ambition; breathe the air, 
and feel the inspiration of the free! 

The man or woman who does not enjoy this 
grand climate, and get inspiration from their 
surroundings, belongs to the Rip-Van-Winkle 
family, and are past redemption. I am glad 
to state that there are few such people, and 





Cathedral Spires, Garden of the Gods 












Toadstool, Garden of the Gods, Colorado 



















GARDEN OF THE GODS 


133 


they are to be pitied more than blamed. 
They are lacking in the appreciation of the 
beautiful; and as for sentiment, they have 
none. Friends, you have no assurance of 
living in another world, where railroad fares 
are two cents a mile (moral: Grasp present 
opportunities). I have traveled over every 
section in United States, Canada, Alaska, and 
part of Mexico; investigating conditions and 
climates. And this locality especially ap¬ 
pealed to me as being healthful, beautiful 
and progressive. What more can you expect 
from life? One of the greatest medicines 
known to man is water. Every race of people 
on the globe recognize this fact. The Red 
man in the primeval days, drank from the 
fountain of health at the foot of Pike's Peak, 
and called the water “Manitou." The gas 
in the soda spring, he designated as the breath 
of the “Great Spirit." breathing life into 
humanity. When the white man appeared 
upon the scene, the glad tidings was sent to 
all cilivized people. “Come and help your¬ 
self." Millions have accepted the invitation, 
drunk of the water and exclaimed, “Eureka!" 


Chapter XIII 
FLOODS OF THE MISSISSIPPI 

To anyone that has never lived on the banks 
of the father of waters, it seems impossible 
that so much water could accumulate in one 
body, and keep coming for days and nights 
until it seems there is no end to it. When 
this enormous body of water begins to reach 
the top of the levee, which is usually higher 
than the housetops $ you begin to wonder if 
it is safe to go to sleep anymore. Then when 
the levee breaks some where above you and 
the water rushes through the crevices and 
spreads in all directions for miles around, the 
cattle, hogs and horses gather on the high 
spots to get out of the water, you begin to 
think what a fool you are for living in such a 
country. But as the nights and days wear 
on, the situation gets worse, you finally have 
to cut a hole in the top of the roof and get 
your belongings and family up where the 
scenery is good. By this time, usually, some 
“good Samaritan” comes along with a boat 
and helps you off your perch about the time 
the old house takes a notion to go visiting. 

The most disastrous flood that has ever 




FLOODS OF THE MISSISSIPPI 


135 


occurred in the Mississippi Valley, started in 
the upper Ohio river in the latter part of 
March, 1913. On the afternoon of March 
24th a dam broke on the Miami river a tribu¬ 
tary of the Ohio, letting an immense volume 
of water descend on the city of Dayton, and 
in thirty minutes time nearly the whole city 
was flooded. This terrible rush was, how¬ 
ever, only the forerunner of the mighty flood 
that was coming; there had been terrible 
rains all over the country; the water seemed 
to come from every source and direction; 
the river in a short time spread from a 
few hundred feet, to a width of four miles, 
and rushed with a seething torrent that noth¬ 
ing could withstand, sweeping everything in 
its path; houses with their occupants were 
lifted from their foundations and dashed 
against trees and bridges, crumbling like egg 
shells; the shrieks and cries for help in most 
cases were of no avail; the heavy hand of the 
greatest power of nature was laid upon hu¬ 
manity, showing favors nor mercy to no 
man; but with an onward rush seemed to 
glory in its strength, gaining power at every 
impulse. When it at last reached the Ohio, 
it, joined by other streams as powerful, added 
to the already swollen waters. It ascended 
the government gauges in leaps and bounds, 
sending a thrill of terror through the in¬ 
habitants of the valley, now warning the 


136 


A DRUMMER’S EXPERIENCE 


town and country of the lower Mississippi, 
that the terror was coming with all its might. 
By the third day of April, the flood had 
reached Cairo and registered the highest gauge 
ever recorded by the weather bureau* now 
breaking dikes and sweeping both sides of the 
country, leaving misery, consternation and 
death in its path. 


Chapter XIV 

ODD CUSTOMS 

What seems perfectly natural in one section 
of the country often seems very odd in an¬ 
other. In Walla Walla, Wash., the town 
and county have what is known as “Straw 
Day.” This is a day of festivity. Every¬ 
body dresses up and comes to town on a load 
of wheat-straw, young people, old people, 
and the dogs. They fill up on red lemonade, 
have parades, and a general good time. In 
the afternoon these loads of straw are hauled 
into the suburbs of the city, and into the 
country and deposited in the roads. This is 
done in order to keep down the dust. The 
soil is very light and rich and the dust be¬ 
comes so deep in the roads that it is very dis¬ 
agreeable unless the straw is spread. 

Salmon fishing on the Frazer and Columbia 
rivers is very interesting (and sounds like a 
fish tale). Fish by the millions go up the 
streams in the spring to spawn. They often 
go to the head-waters of these mountain 
streams, where they will be safe from the dep¬ 
redations of larger fish. When the run starts 
in the spring it is usually very sudden. To¬ 
day you may see no fish, and tomorrow the 


138 


A DRUMMER’S EXPERIENCE 


river may be alive with them. They literally 
choke the stream some years. There is a 
vast difference in the run, and they are getting 
scarcer each year. There are two varieties: 
The hunch-back, and the sock-eye. The 
latter is considerably the finer grade of fish. 
Its meat is of a reddish yellow. During the 
fishing season you can see hundreds of boats 
at one sight. All seem to be the same size, 
and rigged the same. These boats are under 
strict governmental regulation. There is an 
officer in the fishing field, to see that the law 
is carried out to the letter. There are very 
large packing houses all along the shore of the 
two rivers, where the fish are packed in cans, 
as you buy them from your grocer. 

Halibut fishing is also very interesting. The 
halibut is a deep-water fish and is caught in 
the Pacific near Seattle, Wash., and north-west 
of Vancouver, British Columbia. There is a 
ship which is known as the “New Englander,” 
that leaves Vancouver every Sunday night for 
a voyage up the coast returning Saturday 
night loaded with halibut. That is what I 
said, loaded. On Saturday night and Sun¬ 
day these are dressed and packed in ice and 
made ready to feed the hungry Yankee of 
Boston. 

Hop raising is the principal industry along 
the valleys of the coast in Washington and 
Oregon. It is an interesting sight and very 




ODD CUSTOMS 


139 


different from other kinds of horticulture. 
The first time I saw a hop-field “I was up in 
the air (I was on the Cascade mountains). 
I did not know what I had found. It looked 
something like a vineyard, but more like an 
old house that was being wrecked. I was 
like the Irishman when he saw his first rail¬ 
way train. “Be Gorry,” says Pat, “and I 
tho’t ’twas a stame-boat runnin’ for water.” 
Well, I thought that I had seen the biggest 
pile of kindling that I had ever struck. There 
is an enormous amount of frame-work for the 
hops to run on. When looking down on this 
tangle of sticks and supports, it looks like a 
mammoth spider web spread over the entire 
field. Hop-raising at one time was very 
profitable until the brewers of America got 
wise, and learned to make beer so that it 
would taste all right, and make the drunk 
come without the hop-man’s assistance. There 
are still some hops used, but the leavening 
qualities are now assisted by foreign means. 
Never mind what it is, that’s not your busi¬ 
ness, anything makes hash. 

OILING ROADS 

To a man in the rural districts of the North 
or South, it would seem very strange to see a 
huge tank being hauled along the road with a 
sprinkler attached, spewing and spurting oil 
on the ground. He would think that you 


140 


A DRUMMER’S EXPERIENCE 


were very extravagant to be throwing away 
such good molasses, for the oil resembles New 
Orleans “Black-strap.” This oil makes a 
fine road for light vehicles or auto driving, 
though it is hard to pull over with a heavy 
load as the wheels sink into the dirt and oil. 
This, of course, means a small hill in front of 
the wheels all the time, which has to be over¬ 
come. This system is now used extensively 
in Southern California, and in some towns in 
Colorado. The oil used is of a very cheap 
grade, costing only a few cents a barrel. This 
coating will last about a year, then you have to 
waste some more oil, like the man did the 
water out of a sprinkling cart in the city. A 
country-man came to town. He had never 
seen a street-sprinkler. He was sympathetic 
and accommodating. When he saw the water 
flying in all directions, he ran up by the side 
of the cart and cried, “Say, Mister, you are 
losing all your water.” 

STACKING HAY IN COLORADO 

This process of stacking hay is a novelty 
to a great many people, and as we are trying 
to instruct all people, we will tell you some¬ 
thing of the process of stacking alfalfa. First 
the farmer uses an ordinary mower, then the 
sulky rake to put the hay into windrows. 
Here it is allowed to cure about 24 hours, then 
comes what is known to dealers as the “Bulb 


ODD CUSTOMS 


141 


rake.” This is mounted on three, and some¬ 
times, four wheels. It has very long wooden 
teeth projecting out in front. These teeth 
catch under the hay in the windrow and push 
it along until there is an enormous pile, that 
looks like a fourth of a wagon load on the 
teeth. The driver then raises the teeth, and 
the hay is carried along on these teeth 
just above the ground to the stack. Here it 
is deposited on the teeth of the stacker. Now 
one horse with a windlass sweep stacker 
carries this load on top of the stack. This 
is a very fast way to handle hay. Two men 
and a boy can put up twenty tons a day by 
this process. 

CUTTING AND THRASHING WHEAT IN 
THE WEST 

There is a combination harvester and sepa¬ 
rator now built that requires the strength of 
about 24 horses to pull. This wonderful ma¬ 
chine cuts, thrashes and sacks the wheat. 
The sacks are dropped off on the ground, as 
fast as filled. This machine is practical only 
in a dry climate, and when there is no danger 
of severe winds, as the grain must stand in 
the field until thoroughly ripe before starting 
the harvester. There are very few of these 
machines in use, not being considered practical. 

The state laws are now very rigid in the 
West about compelling the dipping of sheep 


142 


A DRUMMER’S EXPERIENCE 


and cattle, before they can be shipped from 
one state to another, unless they are going 
direct to the slaughter pens. The dipping is 
enforced to prevent contamination and it has 
proven to be very beneficial to the stock so 
dipped, relieving the sheep from scab, and the 
cattle from ticks. The concoction used for 
the dip varies a great deal, but it is usually a 
composition of coal-tar and sulphur. The 
coal-tar being used for cattle and hogs and 
the sulphur for sheep. 

DIPPING CATTLE AND SHEEP 

The operation of dipping consists first in 
building a deep cement vat which is filled two- 
thirds full of water, and the medicine then 
thoroughly mixed. The stock are now driven 
through a very narrow lane, only one at a 
time can get through and this one cannot 
turn back. He is forced to jump into the 
vat and is submerged. In the case of cattle 
and hogs the sport is royal. They sometimes 
seriously object to this mode of procedure. 
The method resorted to by hogs to keep out 
of the vat is often very amusing. When it 
comes to dehorning cattle the excitement 
reaches fever heat. You must have a very 
strong chute to hold them. If not they are 
the officers of the day. Some of the most 
amusing things I have ever seen happened 
around a branding and dehorning chute. 


ODD CUSTOMS 


143 


You may imagine that a bony old range cow 
has no activity or life, but when you confine 
her in a branding chute and begin to practice 
your art of surgery on her anatomy, she takes 
on new life. She will let you know that she 
was born “in the land of the free and the home 
of the brave.” A few years ago I had oc¬ 
casion to dehorn some meek-looking range 
cows. Our chute was not of the best; after 
Securing one of the most humble looking of 
the breed, a big Kentuckian who had been 
accustomed to handling the domestic bossies 
of his home state, volunteered to hold her 
head, by putting his fingers in her nose. 
Everything being in readiness we proceeded 
to disarm her of her weapons. One jerk of 
her head and our “Kentucky” friend—Oh! 
Where was he? Ask of the winds and frag¬ 
ments that strewed the plains. When he got 
up we offered him a compass, so that he could 
get his bearings. We tried to argue with 
him that he had stumbled over a stone, or 
that he had been drinking some of Robinson 
County’s best, but it was no use. We asked 
him to get a new hold—he declined. He said 
be would wait until his hair got as long as 
Samson’s before he undertook the job again. 
On one accasion we were much in need of 
milk and as the prairie was dotted with young 
calves and their mothers, we saw no reason 
why we should be thirsty. Though I sug- 


144 


A DRUMMER’S EXPERIENCE 


gested to my Kentucky friend the advisability 
of consulting Webster’s dictionary “ before at¬ 
tempting to milk one of these ‘ OUTLAWS/ ” 
he only asked for a rope and a good man to 
assist him. He selected an old cow that had 
been known as “Grannie” for several years. 
She was driven into the chute, an inch and a 
half rope was thrown around her neck, as she 
was a muley (had no horns) our friend felt 
brave and confident. When she was let out 
of the chute, Grannie made for the “Kane- 
tuck,” head down and bawling. Did he run? 
Well, rather. He ran against time. “The 
Empire State Express ” was not in it with him. 
You could play marbles on his coat-tail. Well, 
we finally got Grannie snubbed up to the feed¬ 
ing-rack, and called for volunteers to milk 
her. Every man had important business else¬ 
where. At last a son of “ Erin ” was persuaded 
that there was no danger in a captive. A tin 
bucket was secured, the “Brave” adjusted his 
hip pants and took up his “Gee-string,” 
pulled off his “sombrero” and said, “Saw, 
Grannie.” I do not know how it occurred 
but I think that it was all because Grannie did 
not understand English. When we untangled 
him from the tin and the barbed-wire fence 
we had to call a tailor to repair the pants, and 
apply the camphor bottle to revive his droop¬ 
ing spirits. 

A short time after this we had a public sale 


ODD CUSTOMS 


145 


of range cows. The cattle were being sold 
in bunches—25 to 50 in a lot. A couple of 
Russians approached me and asked if I would 
not put up two certain cows and sell them 
separately as they would like to bid on them. 
I told them in English as best I could that the 
cows had never been taught the beauties of 
civilization. They said, “We tie him and 
feed him slop.” I informed them that this 
variety of cow preferred cactus and mountain 
scenery. It was no use, they would have a 
cow for a pet. The auctioneer at last cried 
out, “Old Speck sold to the Russian with the 
big blouse.” I offered to drive Old Speck and 
her sister on horse-back to the Russian’s 
camp. “No,” they said, “We tame him now.” 
We knew there was something coming. We 
could smell it in the air. We drove Old 
Speck into the branding chute. Here a rope 
was put around her neck and the Russian’s 
wagon driven near by. The other end of the 
rope was tied to the wagon. “When you are 
ready, Gridley, you may fire.” When the 
bars were pulled Old Speck came out like she 
was shot from a gun. The boss Russians 
hollowed to “take up the slack.” The men 
on the rope endeavored to “heave to,” and 
it looked for a second as if we would have a 
tug-of-war, but when Speck got to the end 
of the rope the piling up of the Chariots in 
the Ben-Hur Chariot race looked mild. Cow, 



146 


A DRUMMER’S EXPERIENCE 


wagon and Russians all in a pile. I don’t 
remember anyone having to tell the Russian 
to get up and run. They scattered like a 
bomb had been dropped in their midst. We 
tried to encourage them and tell them the 
worst was over, but we could see from their 
expressions that they would rather face a 
regiment of Japs, than to engage further in a 
cow taming business. They were like the 
boy that caught the wild cat—they wanted 
some-one to help turn her loose. 


Chapter XV 

HABITS OF INDIANS, JAPS AND CHINAMEN 

The habits and customs of the North Ameri¬ 
can Indian have been so badly misrepresented 
in yellow-backed novels that I am afraid to 
tell you the truth for fear you will not believe 
me. I want to settle it once for all, that the 
Indian is no “bad-man,” and he is no hero. 
He is living a very quiet life on the different 
reservations of the United States and in nearly 
all cases his affairs are in the hands of the U. 
S. Government. The Government has charge 
of his lands and the handling of his finances. 
The Indian as a rule is no business man and in 
nearly all cases he is a ward of the Govern¬ 
ment, though the Creeks, Choctaws, Chero- 
kees and a few others have adopted the 
customs of the Americans and are raising 
cattle and tilling the soil. Though these few 
tribes are becoming prosperous and are money¬ 
makers, the large portion of them are very 
indolent and careless. They seem to have no 
thought of the morrow. They perform very 
little work, especially the men. A few years 
ago I had occasion to be in what is now Okla¬ 
homa. I was passing a fine grove near Gray- 
Horse where the Indians were preparing to 


148 


A DRUMMER’S EXPERIENCE 


have a festival of some kind. They wanted 
temporary arbors and tents erected, but in¬ 
stead of doing it themselves they had white 
men employed to erect the arbors, while the 
bucks laid around in the shade and allowed 
millions of flies to crawl over them. This 
you will understand to mean that they are 
very filthy in their habits, never taking a 
bath, unless it is in the summer time when 
they can fall in the creek. They are always 
bountifully supplied with dogs, but their dogs 
are about as poor as a rooster “ fattened on an 
Aultman-Taylor straw-stack.” It usually 
takes two of them to make a shadow but when 
it comes to barking they are first cousins to 
the coyote, and he can keep it up all night. 
All Indians and Eskimos evidently spring from 
the same family, but it was many thousands of 
years ago. There is a remarkable similarity 
between all Indians. Although they can not 
often understand each other’s language, it 
does not take an expert to detect that they 
all have the same grunt. The Government 
has been very liberal in its efforts to educate 
the Indian, and quite a good many are apt at 
learning, but it is very difficult to impress 
upon him the necessity of an education, 
therefore, a very few make any use of their 
education after it is acquired. 

I heard a story that represents the Indian’s 
idea of style. The Government at a certain 


HABITS OF INDIANS, JAPS AND CHINESE 149 

time paid considerable to a tribe. When 
they got their money one chief bought him¬ 
self a carriage, and another chief, seeing him 
riding down the street, got jealous. He went 
and hired a HEARSE and getting inside had 
the curtains removed and rode down the 
street like a lord. 

All tribes of Indians have become reconciled 
to the conquest of the white man, and are 
glad to have him as their guardian. I do not 
suppose that there will ever be another up¬ 
rising of the “braves,” for they have learned 
the power of the pale face, and look upon him 
as their friend, or at least as their superior. 

JAPANESE 

Here is a very thrifty little fellow. He is 
industrious and economical and will make a 
good citizen in many ways. With training 
he will make a good mechanic. He is quick 
to catch on to a proposition and is dependable 
as a laborer. Nearly all the Western rail¬ 
roads have adopted Jap labor as section men 
and repair men. They do not seem to have 
any labor unions, which is advantageous to the 
railroads. They are fine gardeners and usually 
locate near a city or mining camp where they 
can dispose of their vegetables. As servants 
they are ideal, being clean and neat and very 
attentive to guests. When they are able to 
speak our language fluently, they can com- 


150 


A DRUMMER’S EXPERIENCE 


mand good positions. In the realm of labor 
they are law-abiding, and I have never heard 
of any disturbances created by them. There 
have been wrangles in the West over the ad¬ 
mission of the Japs to our shores. This was 
caused by jealousy, and I hope may be over¬ 
come when his character is better known. 

CHINAMEN 

Next in order is the Chinaman. There are 
thousands of them on the Pacific Coast and 
scattered throughout the continent. 

While there are some marks of resemblance 
between the Chinaman and the Jap, there is a 
vast amount of difference between their power 
of adaptability. The Chinaman is in a rut 
which it will take a thousand years to get him 
out of. He has fixed ideas an d customs, which 
his great-grandfather had, and he seems to be 
satisfied with them. He is like an old dog, 
you cannot teach him new tricks. He seems 
to have no desire for progress—is content to 
live the simple life and eat his rice with chop¬ 
sticks. He is naturally shrewd. If he would 
accept training he would become a power in 
the world. I predict that some day the Em¬ 
pire of China will become one of the most 
powerful nations of the world. Their most 
progressive men are working up now, and they 
will leaven the whole of the nation. At present 
the humble laundry man is content with his job. 


HABITS OF INDIANS, JAPS AND CHINESE 151 


The Chinaman is also very honest at least 
he will not steal. It may be fear that pre¬ 
vents him from laying hands on his neighbor’s 
goods. I never heard of a Chinaman being 
arrested for theft. I have never seen one 
who was lame, blind or with one leg or arm. I 
have heard that there is a society that puts 
all such cripples out of the way. I witnessed 
a peculiar thing in New Westminster, B. C., 
a few years ago. A Chinaman had fallen 
beneath the wheels of a street-car and was 
badly injured. Myself and others pulled him 
out. It was within a few feet of a Chinese 
laundry, and in the Chinese quarter of the 
city. As it was very hot we started to take 
the wounded man into the Chinese laundry, 
but found that they had locked the door in 
our faces. Several Chinamen passed, but 
none of them could be induced to touch the 
injured man. 

If the Chinaman would wash his body more 
and.his clothes less he wculd be more pre¬ 
sentable. If you should stroll down through 
Chinatown in any city you would exclaim, 
“Oh! the great unwashed.” Such people are 
no credit to this country and there should be 
found some means of ridding our shores of 
them. It is an injustice for people to be im¬ 
posed upon by such humanity. 




152 


A DRUMMER’S EXPERIENCE 


THE MEXICAN 

Through Southern California and South¬ 
western Colorado, New Mexico and Arizona 
there are quite a number of Mexicans. They 
are usually a tall, slender people of a Spanish- 
brown color. They partake of the Spanish 
and the Indian. 

They are domineering in politics, showing 
no sympathy for their opponent. They are 
divided into three classes: the political, or 
office seeker, the soldier, and the peon. The 
last named-, being in the majority, is supposed 
to keep up the other two classes, and they see 
to it that he comes through with the goods. 
The labor of the peon is very unreliable. He 
does only what he is compelled to do. He 
tries to put off everything until tomorrow, and 
he usually succeeds in doing so. 

Industries are progressing slowly. There 
has been so much revolution in that country 
that capital is slow about taking hold of a 
Mexican venture. The foreigner is liable to 
be pounced upon at any time and stripped of 
his goods, or asked to pay a fine, by some petty 
official. Who takes chances on being called 
down. 


Chapter XVI 

HOW TO MAKE THE AMERICAN DOLLAR 

I consider this the hardest subject that a 
human being ever wrote on. That is if he is 
fair to all conditions and localities, and at the 
same time treats the subject honestly. 

I wish to say in the beginning that it is 
hard to take a small amount of money and 
invest it so that it will bring back large re¬ 
turns. The causes are numerous. First, the 
proportionate cost of running a small busi¬ 
ness, is greater than it is in a large business. 
Second, you cannot have a variety of goods 
to suit the general trade. Third, you cannot 
buy in sufficiently large quantities to get close 
prices, and economize on freight rates. Fourth 
you must be able to have goods at the proper 
time; anticipate the markets, and store your 
“buy” for future use. Here are four prin¬ 
ciples that cannot be studied too closely. 
Combinations of capital have a decided ad¬ 
vantage over small establishments. 

We hear a great deal of talk about the large 
department stores monopolizing the business. 
There is no argument about the fact that they 
have the advantage in a great many respects; 
but I believe that these advantages can be 


154 


A DRUMMER’S EXPERIENCE 


overcome in a very great measure by proper 
buying and reasonable profits. Also by doing 
business on a cash basis. Credit is doing 
more to bankrupt the merchant than anything 
else in America. At the same time it works 
a great hardship on the public. The mer¬ 
chant has to ask long prices for his goods to 
the cash customer, as well as to the one who 
buys on credit, in order to break even. This 
is not right. Every one who pays cash has a 
right to buy his goods cheaper, than the man 
who buys on credit and should demand the 
same. 

The man with a small amount of money has 
the same handicap when it comes to buying 
land. He cannot buy a tract of land, sub¬ 
divide it, and sell it to the general public on 
time at a long price. He cannot buy 5000 
head of cattle and turn them on the range. 
He must buy a few and fence his own land 
to graze them on. He cannot buy a control¬ 
ling interest in a bank or mine. He cannot 
be a director of a large corporation—his 
holdings are too small. He cannot keep in 
touch with the business or the prospects. 
Stocks and bonds that are hawked over the 
country, usually require a good deal of inves¬ 
tigation. They are oftentimes good, but it 
requires an expert to pass on them. 

By summing up the above you will see that 
I would recommend your investing your 


THE AMERICAN DOLLAR 


155 


money where you would have something to 
say about its management; not because you 
are a better financier than the manager of the 
corporation, you are not as good, but you will 
be better satisfied and it will be a lesson for you. 

As for the place for investment, a new 
country is far preferable, as there are always 
better chances for values to increase. The 
West, Northwest and South are the best 
places for investment. Try to find a busi¬ 
ness which is likely to be permanent. If it is a 
manufacturing plant, see that the goods which 
are manufactured are staple. Try to be con¬ 
nected with the plant if possible. Beware of 
“Get-Rich-Quick Wallingford” propositions. 
I will give you my consent to speculate after 
you have acquired enough so you can afford to 
lose and not cripple you. 

The American dollar can be made to double 
itself in many ways and undoubtedly the 
quickest way is by speculation if you under¬ 
stand the game. This requires a schooling, 
the same as learning the black-smith’s or car¬ 
penter’s trade. 

I want to impress upon your mind the neces¬ 
sity of STARTING A BANK ACCOUNT 
EARLY IN LIFE. This is the wisest thing 
that you can do. Thousands of old people 
are today regretting that they did not start 
a bank account when they were earning money 
in their younger days. When they lose their 


156 


A DRUMMER’S EXPERIENCE 


friends and their children have left them, they 
are often destitute or are compelled to make 
their homes with acquaintances—perhaps with 
those who do not want them, or in a house of 
charity. This is a pitiable condition and you 
can avoid it by starting now . Look around 
you, and see if you cannot find a proposition 
where you can invest two or three hundred 
dollars, and next year add something to it. 
When you get a sufficient amount, buy a home 
and stop paying rent. One thing—do not for¬ 
get to work every day. By so doing you will 
be a better citizen, and enjoy life to its full 
extent. Be frugal and economical, and yet 
live like a man. It is not the high cost of 
living that hurts, it is the COST OF HIGH 
LIVING. That is what keeps the nose to 
the grindstone and gives the collector a job. 
Later it increases the circle at the poor farm. 
Why people spend every cent that they make, 
and take chances on the future, is beyond my 
comprehension. They seem to be discreet in 
most things—they will argue with you by the 
hour on sociological questions, and tell you 
how the government ought to be run. Their 
philosophy reminds me of the rancher and the 
hired man. The hired man got very familiar 
with the rancher and told him how the cattle 
ought to be handled, and how to take care of 
the hay. After he had finished, the rancher 
asked him if that was the way he run his 




THE AMERICAN DOLLAR 


157 


ranch? “No,” he said, “I have no ranch!” 
The man who is long on advice, is usually 
short on finances. These people should take 
a lesson from the parrot. The parrot was a 
great talker, and some of his language would 
not look well in print. One day he got to 
amusing himself with the bull-pup. He called 
the pup all kinds of names and abused him for 
being a dog. The pup’s patience was ex¬ 
hausted and they proceeded to have a scrap. 
After it was over the parrot was on the perch 
trying to remember how it all happened. He 
was heard to say in a condemning tone, “I 
talk too d—n much.” 

The American dollar can be made to double 
itself in many ways at home. You can make 
the dollar double its purchasing power, by 
being discreet in buying groceries, dry-goods 
and clothing, from the right people at the right 
time, and by cutting out the unnecessary ex¬ 
pense. I know of a girl who spent $25.00 for 
a string of beads, and she works for sixty 
cents a day. I had a boy working for me, he 
earned ninety cents a day and spent seventy 
cents for his lunch. A young man spent 
$45.00 for a suit of clothes. He earns $60.00 
a month. A man and wife rented a seven- 
room house on a fashionable street, and only 
had furniture for three rooms. A family has 
an auto, they mortgaged the ranch to pay for 
it. There are people straining themselves to 



158 


A DRUMMER’S EXPERIENCE 


go into society, that do not have a decent bed 
to sleep on. 

What does all this mean? Either they are 
badly misled, or I am a fool! With a great 
many people “age brings experience ” and a 
set of wisdom-teeth that can be left in a cup 
of water over night. 



Aquarium, Hellena, Montana—said to be the largest in America 






Chapter XVII 
THE GRAND CANON 

All aboard for the Grand Canon of the 
Colorado and the Far West! There are two 
lines.that you can take for the Grand Canon. 
One is the Santa Fe and the other is—to walk; 
but as I have corns I suggest that we take the # 
Santa Fe and stop off at the New Mexico 









160 


A DRUMMER’S EXPERIENCE 


Capital, and take in the sights. Also, to view 
what is said to be the oldest house in America 
—but hold on! I have one farther down the 
line to show you. Well, anyway this house 
in Santa Fe was there before I was. 

I want to call your attention to the Mexican 
motor-truck for hauling wood. But my ob¬ 
servation is, that if all the people in the state 
kept as warm as the man who engineers this 
outfit they would need no fire. One of these 
animals (the burro) has been known to travel 
. five miles a day where the persuasion was suf¬ 
ficient. If you are interested in mathematics 
I would like to figure a little problem with 
you: If it takes one of these animals an hour 
and a half, to go a mile and a half, how long 
will it take him to go to town? Another: If 
the Mexican who furnishes this wood sells it 
for $6.00 a cord and hauls one twentieth of a 
cord each load how long will it take him to 
make a living? Anyway, he has the contract, 
and I am not out of a job. 

Let’s take a walk in the suburbs of the city 
and get out among the people who came here 
with Cortez and helped Kit Carson to blaze 
the trail. Ah! here we have the friend of the 
poor man—the goat. If there is any animal 
on earth that should wear a gold medal as an 
emblem of privation, suffering and sacrifice, 
it is the goat. He can eat tin-cans, waste- 
paper and look pleasant. Get water once a 



Oldest House in New Mexico 







































THE GRAND CANON 163 

week, have a barhed-wire fence for a shelter 
and still the patient goat is on the job. It 
furnishes the wool to make the family clothes, 
feeds the little papoose with milk, gives up his 
hide to make the shoes of America, and when 
the last roll is called, donates his flesh to tide 
over the high cost of living and put the butcher 
out of business. Three cheers for the goat! 

Well, people who stay in one place too long 
are apt to lose their welcome, so let us be 
going. We now pass through a country which 
is wooded for the greater part. Here the 
great herds of goats, sheep and cattle are 
found. We wake up in the morning and look¬ 
ing out of berth thirteen—what greets our 
eyes? Cactus, soap-weed and sage brush. 
Well, the darkest clouds have a silver lining. 
If you have never seen the Desert of America 
you can not appreciate your modern home 
with all of its conveniences. If you are rest¬ 
less, dissatisfied and think yourself cramped 
too much; that competition is too keen; and 
that you are tired of society, suppose you 
trade positions with the sheep-herder of the 
desert for one month. View the world from 
this end; live the simple life; do not quarrel 
with your neighbors; sleep under the canopy 
of the stars, and breathe the atmosphere 
that is not saturated with coal-dust. But be¬ 
fore you make a permanent deal with the 
herder, investigate the conditions a bit. You 







164 


A DRUMMER’S EXPERIENCE 


will find it harder to get information from this 
individual than from a Pinkerton detective. 
When you approach him and ask for informa¬ 
tion in the English language the answer will 
almost invariably be, “No sabe,” unless he 
happens to be out of tobacco or matches he is 
non-communicative; but if he wants a cigar¬ 
ette he can talk good English. After you have 
lived with him for six months he may con¬ 
descend to talk to you in English, but he has 
been badly spoiled. I am sorry to say that 
the merchants and public men of this district 
have condescended to use what is supposed to 
be the Latin tongue. In truth it is a mongrel, 
being a mixture of Spanish and Indian. It 
is more a series of grunts than a language. I 
do not wonder at this when I consider the 
nomadic lives these people live. Take for 
instance our friend, the Mexican sheep- 
herder. He lives on the wilds of the desert, 
solitary and alone; yes, absolutely alone save 
for his band of sheep and his dog. He does 
not see a human being once in a month unless 
his boss, who lives in Albuquerque, happens 
to bring him flour, beans, and sometimes meat 
for dessert. This is a job that I want you to 
take for a month if you are dissatisfied with 
your present surroundings. Let us analyze 
it and see if it suits you. A hermit without a 
cave, eats bread of his own cooking and often 
without salt or soda. Coffee without sugar 





THE GRAND CANON 


165 


or cream. Frijoles (pronounced fre-holeys) 
or beans, boiled in alkali water and fried salt 
pork on Sundays for dessert. Sleeps on a 
blanket spread on the sand between cactus 
bushes. While asleep he is guarded by rattle¬ 
snakes, centipeds and tarantulas. Sometimes 
the coyote, to break the monotony, springs in 
among his flock at 2 a. m. He rises from his 
rest at day-break and makes black coffee, and 
biscuits that he could knock a cow down with. 
Such a repast can only be digested by men 
with iron stomachs. The ostrich, I fear, 
wx)uld draw the line on such cuisine. Now, 
the herder proceeds to harness himself for 
the day. He packs his own and the dog’s 
lunch, secures his canvas hag and fills it with 
water and straps it on his back, stuffs a last 
years almanac or a month old newspaper in 
his pocket to read and is off with the herd. 
Things go along pretty well until noon. Then 
he has to get a search-warrant to find enough 
dead-sticks of cactus to make a fire, for he 
must have his black coffee. He then spreads 
his sumptuous lunch, noton a tableor even on 
the grass, for that is too scarce, but on the 
burning sand. He has no need of a French 
waiter to stand at his back to serve the 
courses. Dinner over and the table cleared 
(that is he stuffs the tin can in his pocket) he 
is off again. 

All is well until about three o’clock when the 




166 


A DRUMMER’S EXPERIENCE 


lambs begin to give out and several to lag 
behind. Now the real trouble comes. There 
is no other way out of it, he must take these 
lambs under his arms and “lug” them the 
balance of the evening into camp. 

Now his house-hold duties develop again. 
He would not mind getting the meal if he 
only had the wood to cook with. If he goes 
down the draw a half mile he may find some 
or he may not. But there is always one 
thing he will find: that is, he will find that 
“tired feeling” and wonder what he is living 
for. 

This little stunt of his is performed for the 
sum of $30 per month. Now, speak up if you 
want to trade jobs. I can work the Mexican 
so that you won’t have to give any bonus. 

THE CANON 

If a linguist should attempt to describe the 
Grand Canon of the Colorado, he would bank¬ 
rupt the English language and overdraw his 
account with Webster’s Dictionary, and still 
not describe the wonderful, awe-inspiring 
chasm that bears the name of the Grand, and 
which is in everyway appropriate. There are 
a great many Canons which have the word 
“Grand” prefixed to their name, but the man 
who named them had surely never seen the 
Grand Canon of the Colorado, or possibly he 
wanted to steal some thunder. 






Descent into the 


Grand Canyon, Ariz. 































168 


A DRUMMER’S EXPERIENCE 


Of all the awe-inspiring sights that ever met 
the eye, this caps the climax. The Yellowston e is 
possibly more beautiful, the Matter-horn more 
majestic, but they have not that breath-tak¬ 
ing and bewildering magnitude that meets the 
eye on beholding the Grand Canon of the 
Colorado. 

On first casting your eye on this devasta¬ 
tion you feel like exclaiming, O, Murderous 
hand of time, where is thy weapon, or was it 
self-destruction—nature smothered in her own 
life-blood? The life-blood of the Colorado 
gushing ever from the wound, proclaims the 
fate of mother earth, inflicted by the hand of 
Destiny. 

It would be a pleasure if I could draw a 
comparison to illustrate the size and magni¬ 
tude of this great incision in the breast of 
mother-earth. If the Panama and Suez canals 
were both placed side by side in the depths of 
this canon they would be lost. If all the 
cities of America were piled into it there 
would be an abundance of space left. If you 
want to lose yourself in bewilderment, walk 
up to the edge and take in the vast panorama. 
As far as the eye can reach, terrace above 
terrace, columns and palisades, battlements 
and citadels! You can imagine that you are 
looking on the temples of Jupiter, painted by 
fairies, decorated by mythical artists and 
peopled by legions of a foreign clime! 


THE GRAND CANON 


169 


The formation is composed of lime-stone, 
sand-stone and granite. As each of these 
stratas has been cut through, it has exposed 
the coloring to view, giving in the different 
hues maroon, brown, blue, purple and orange. 
The reflection and blending of these colors 
is most wonderful, giving every shade of the 
rain-bow. 

The dimensions of this wonderful gorge 
are about 100 miles long, ten miles across, and 
more than a mile in depth. What is this 
after all but the banks of a river? What 
caused it? Water and time. Now draw on 
your imagination and think of the immensity 
of time that has passed. Calculate if you 
can the time that is required for water to cut 
away one inch of a granite boulder. After you 
have figured this out calculate if you can the 
hundreds of thousands of years winch have 
elapsed to have wrought this carnage. You 
cannot reckon the time. It is beyond our 
comprehension. All that we can say is, 
“Wonderful, wonderful!” You can spend 
days strolling about its precipitious banks, 
gazing at a wonderful vista at every turn you 
make. 

To the student of nature here is a feast; 
yes, a banquet spread for the gods. Most 
people can drink to the full on the canon’s 
brink. But if you have not enough of the 




170' 


A DRUMMER’S EXPERIENCE 


elixir of life, journey into its depths—here you 
can drink to intoxication. 

I made the trip on horseback in February, 
1908. We left the Bright Angel hotel about 
8 a. m., wound our way down among the cliffs 
and over precipices. One mis-step of your 
animal would pulverize you against the 
boulders below. But when one is seeking a 
prize, they are willing to gamble with fate. 
Anxiety urged us on and we smiled in the face 
of danger, anticipating a reward at the end. 
It was in store for us. 

When we reached the bottom and stood 
beside the rushing tide of the Colorado; 
listened to the echoes of the foaming waters 
dashed to spray against the granite cliffs; 
looked with wonder on the solid perpendicular 
walls that rose higher then Eiffels’ Tower; 
stood beside mammoth boulders that had been 
dislodged and brought to their temporary 
resting place by the ever rushing torrent, we 
stood and considered how small and insig¬ 
nificant were the forces of man compared 
with the forces of nature. 

It took us four hours to ascend the giant 
cliffs and we rested with a sigh of relief, once 
more above the towering precipices which are 
suggestive of awe and danger. 

There has been only two or three parties 
which have had the temerity to explore the 
canon thoroughly. Maj. J. W. Powell in 


THE GRAND CANON 


171 


1869 undertook the task, with four boats and 
nine men. For ninety-eight days from the 
24th day of May to the 30th of August he and 
his party fought the currents, rapids and whirl¬ 
pools of this mighty stream. They were 
dashed against solid walls, swept with terrific 
speed in rapids and sucked into whirl-pools. 
The trip was so arduous that four of his 
men deserted, three of them afterward being 
killed on the plains by Indians. 

It is exceedingly interesting to reflect on the 
ravages of time, the commotions and battles 
waged here by water and stone. By ever¬ 
lasting pounding the softer element has won. 
Here is an example of concentration and 
energy, continual pounding for millions of 
years has cut a trench 6,000 feet deep. And 
still you hear the battering ram charging 
against the fortress, sweeping away opposition 
like a phanton; the sound of the cannon of 
rushing waters reaches from crag to crag 
bidding defiance to all nature! 


Chapter XVIII 
PIPE DREAMS 

There is a considerable difference between 
air castles and pipe dreams. Air castles are 
things we propose to do; pipe dreams are 
things we imagine we do. I suppose you have 
heard of the man who told a lie so often that 
he got so after awhile he believed it himself. 
Old people are addicted to this mode of telling 
stories. I guess / will be a past master in a 
few years myself. I know of a remarkable 
instance in Colorado Springs. A street car 
conductor was strolling up Cascade Ave., he 
met up with a man from the East, became 
engaged in conversation, soon grew familiar 
and confidential; presently the conductor 
began telling of his ups and downs in life, and 
he wound up by pointing out a large, fine, stone 
house worth about seventy-five thousand dol¬ 
lars and said to his companion: “There is a 
house I was about to close a deal for a few 
nights ago, but it all vanished by the time you 
could snap your finger.” “Oh! is that so, 
what happened?” “Well, I will confess,” 
said the conductor, “THE ALARM WENT 
OFF.” We often meet men who have some 
great fantastic idea that is bound to revolu¬ 
tionize the world. Patentees are often found 
in this list. They get up some insignificant 
idea and have it patented, then they are 


PIPE DREAMS 


173 


excited beyond control, they think the world 
is at their feet and that they will be million¬ 
aires in a short time. Then there are the 
political cranks, they are still worse; they 
get some revelation as they think, that is a 
saviour of the business and social world, and 
if you cannot see their way, you are a dema¬ 
gogue and a hireling of the trusts; in their 
estimation you are a robber and an enemy 
to society; their schemes have never been 
tried, but of course it will work, it is so simple, 
and usually it is as simple as the man who got 
it up. If you could buy this man for what he 
is worth, and sell him for what he thinks he is 
worth, you could make a fortune. Then 
again you find the optimistic man who is go¬ 
ing to get rich all at once, he is about to turn 
a deal that will make him a fortune, but when 
he fails, it is always the other fellow’s fault. 
But never mind that same man will have up 
another scheme before the moon changes, and 
the last one will be better than the first. I 
would not mind soaring in the aerial regions 
like this man if it were not for taking chances 
on coming down on his parachute when his 
balloon explodes. The trouble with this man 
is, he is like the party who has been painting 
the town red, he sees double. He is A 1 in 
multiplication and has graduated in addition, 
but strange to say he never saw the sub¬ 
traction table. 




Chapter XIX 

HOW TO SMILE IN ADVERSITY 

Man was born to conquer. If you will 
but stop to consider, it is self-evident that man 
can rise above all obstacles. Man has so 
many resources, that it is impossible to cut 
him off from his supply, or recuperation. 

Adversity only strengthens us for greater 
effort. Mortifying failure may crown a few 
of our undertakings; but one sparrow does 
not make a summer. It is not manly to give 
way to despondency. No trouble, be it ever 
so great, can continue long. If you allow this 
feeling to take hold of you, and to weigh you 
down, it will eventually bring you to despair. 
Some people are more prone to depression 
than others. The great trouble with these 
people is, they nurse the disease. They 
think despondingly; they brood over their 
troubles and magnify their difficulties. They 
look at the dark side of everything, and al¬ 
ways imagine the worst is going to happen. 

Deep rooted despondency will rob you of 
reason, as well as of health. The worst thing 
that can befall you is to allow yourself to 
brood over your misfortunes. Stop. Re¬ 
member that other people have been over 







•, : 


#»»»»- 




r 




•-/•//■■ ->.w.-.\ . •: •;• .•• •• <- ■»:■■:-■- 




v/ v'<tV'V'» w>,-/x 


Mexican Girls Cheating the Kodak 












































HOW TO SMILE IN ADVERSITY 177 


the same ground before, and doubtless bad 
more difficulties to overcome than you have. 
They conquered all opposition—why cannot 
you? The greatest heroes the world ever pro¬ 
duced have invariably been those who en¬ 
countered the greatest difficulties; in fact, 
overcoming difficulties is what made them 
heroes. Heroes do not have their fame thrust 
upon them. They meet the rocks as Hannibal 
did. When you overcome one difficulty, it 
arms you and gives you courage to battle with 
another. 

The great trouble with most people in ad¬ 
versity is, they brood over the past too much. 
Let me impress upon your mind that you can¬ 
not remedy the past; it is unalterably fixed; 
you cannot change it. The only thing you 
can deal with is the present and the future. 
Then shape your actions to control the present 
and influence the future; and never let the 
thought enter your mind that there is no hope 
for the future. Where there is life there is 
hope. No calamity, or adversity, is so bad 
that it could not be worse. You cannot be 
placed in a position that is hopeless. Even 
the prisoner in the dungeon of Chillon had 
hope, and that hope was realized. Pining 
over difficulties saps your strength, unnerves 
you, and accomplishes nothing. About face! 
You can never whip an enemy by retreating. 
Stand firm, show your colors, do not give up 


J78 


A DRUMMER’S EXPERIENCE 


the citadel of reason. Mind*will rule over 
matter. All human events can be shaped by 
reason. The mighty stream of adversity can 
be turned; trials and disappointments can be 
converted into fortresses. Then fight behind 
the battlements erected by sympathy and 
experience. Look your enemy squarely in the 
eye, and defy him to do his worst. You con¬ 
quer by the power of right; you turn tears 
into smiles, oppression into conquest, sorrow 
into laughter. He, who can smile in adversity 
controls himself and subdues his enemies. 


Chapter XX 
SOD SHANTY 

Did you ever stop to consider what a 
glorious thing it is that all people are not 
created alike. If we all had the same ideas, 
the same disposition, the same tastes, the same 
likes and dislikes, we would be in a worse mix- 
up than was ever experienced at the Tower 
of Babel. Think what a predicament you 
would be in if we should all want the same 
horse or the same auto, the same house and 
the same wife. I beg to be excused! 

We often hear remarks like the following: 

“I don’t know why they ever did such a 
thing.” 

“I don’t understand what he was thinking 
about.” 

“X wouldn’t do it if I were in your place.” 

We think it strange because other people 
do not see things as we do. We call them 
cranks and they call us fools and the honors 
are even. We are both right from our in¬ 
dividual standpoints, but always remember 
that the other fellow has as good a right to his 
views as you have. You wear green glasses 
and he wears blue; consequently, objects do 
not look the same. 


180 A DRUMMER’S EXPERIENCE 

But there would be some good features and 
a great deal of satisfaction if this idea of see¬ 
ing things alike, should prevail. You and 
the meter man would both read the same 
figures; 2000 pounds of coal would be a ton; 
when the doctor made a mistake and killed 
you he would at least pay for the burial; 
16 ounces would be a pound and 36 inches 
a yard; the public officials would handle our 
cash like it was their own; the penitentiaries 
would have doors with locks on them—at 
present it is no more trouble to get out than to 
get in. 

Speaking of justice, that reminds me—What 
is justice? As commonly applied, it is self- 
interest taking advantage of circumstances. If 
your judgment is imposed upon, and circum¬ 
stances taken advantage of, you are beat out 
of, say, a thousand dollars in the deal. You 
then go to the guilty party for amends. He 
will at once proceed to prove to you that he 
is the most honest and conscientious man in 
the country. 

My observation is, the best time to rectify 
a mistake is before it is made. 

People often deceive themselves about their 
honesty. Some imagine they are honest be¬ 
cause they pay their debts. This is a very 
poor criterion. You have to pay your debts 
so as to keep your credit good; in other words, 
you are not a “dead beat.” A man who will 



Fruit of the Plains 















182 


A DRUMMER’S EXPERIENCE 


not lie, use deception or impose upon you 
through influence, is honest. Here is a good 
opening for a correspondence school if you can 
get the people to practice what you teach. 

My ideas of justice do not always coincide 
with other people’s. I want to put down a 
sidewalk; the city engineer says it must be 6 
feet wide and on a certain grade. I want to 
burn trash in my backyard; the policeman 
says no. I have a lot I want to build a house 
on to cost $2,000; the building inspector says 
I will have to borrow $1,000 more and put 
up a $3,000 house. There is a dog that kills 
my chickens and I would like to shoot him 
but I dare not. I am a carpenter and I want 
to paint my house; the painters’ union says 
no. It is getting too warm for me! I am 
going to a cooler climate. 

After thinking the matter over, I have de¬ 
cided not to criticise the man who married a 
red-headed woman, keeps a yellow dog and 
lives in the sod shanty on the prairie. He is 
21 years old and has the right to vote the 
Democratic ticket. But one thing is sure, I 
am not going to try to beat him out of his 
job. He has too much liberty, which is 
just about as bad as not enough. He has the 
liberty of driving 17 miles for a load of cotton¬ 
wood and he has the privilege of sending bis 
children seven miles to school. He has more 
of the free air of America than he needs—the 


SOD SHANTY 


183 


wind by actual count blows 11 months and 22 
days in the year. When he goes to bed at 
night he is soothed to sleep by free music, 
furnished by the coyote band. His corn was 
a little yellow, and his oats were not the best; 
the skunks caught his chickens and the coyotes 
had eaten his lambs, but still he had a look of 
cheerfulness and defiance. 

I asked him if he had always lived on the 
ranch. 

“ Oh, no. I had a home in town. I moved 
out here last year.” 

“Did you sell your home in town?” 

“No; I just left it to be divided between the 
tax collector and the plumber! My only con¬ 
solation is that it will not pay both of them.” 

“So you like the ranch, then?” 

“Yes. I am far enough away so my neigh¬ 
bors do not know everything about my busi¬ 
ness; it is too far out for the collector to call 
very often; I do not have to read the stale 
news faked up by some reporter in the daily 
papers. I, however, take the weekly paper. 
But I notice here of late that all the tele¬ 
graphic news and principal events happen the 
day the paper goes to press. I think this is 
a mistake of the office boy . Another advan¬ 
tage out here is, that, if any of the children get 
sick, instead of ’phoning for the doctor, I go 
and read last year’s almanac all about the 
wonderful cures wrought by some medicine. 



184 


A DRUMMER’S EXPERIENCE 


This does no one any harm, since I cannot 
get to the drugstore to buy the dope. The 
next morning the sun is shining, the birds 
are singing, the children are well and I have 
my $2.50 in my pocket. 

“ I had a telephone line out here until about 
a month ago, but the news got so badly 
tangled up on the barb wire fences, and the 
prairie wind, that it sounded like cats fight¬ 
ing; and you could put no more confidence in 
it than in neighborhood gossip, so I took the 
darn thing down. I have no telegraph or 
telephone now. All I can do is to tell my 
woman, and her “wave system” is not under¬ 
stood by our neighbors. Safe? I guess I 
am!” 

I took a liking to this old fellow and de¬ 
cided to stop with him a while, drink some real 
buttermilk (not the kind the milkman sells) 
and eat yellow-legged chickens. I also found 
out something about turkeys. It costs $4 
to raise a turkey that you can sell for $2.50, 
unless the grasshopper crop is long and your 
neighbor has a wheat-field near by. And as 
to ducks! I experimented on one a little and 
found that by feeding him every twenty 
minutes, and giving him water every hour, he 
could eat his weight in corn in two days with¬ 
out the need of any dyspepsia tablets. 

I got on good terms with the lady of the 
house. She showed me how she made butter 


SOD SHANTY 


185 


to sell. I found out that it was not always 
carelessness that caused the farmers’ wives to 
leave so much water in the butter, nor was it 
accident that gave it such a salty taste. She 
finally got so confidential that she told me 
water and salt were cheaper than butter fat! 
I did not know at first whether this was cor¬ 
rect or not, but I went off behind the house 
and figured it out. She is right. 

The billy goat and the farmer both wear 
chin whiskers, but I do not consider this any 
sign of relationship. The only similar char¬ 
acteristics I could discover was that they both 
inclined to butt in. I was consulting the 
market report in the Farmers’ Rural Visitor, 
when he asked me which brought the highest 
price, a city dude , or a Rocky Mountain 
canary . 

Well, we patched up our difficulty and I 
promised to assist him to build an addition 
to his sod shanty. Lumber was a little 
scarce, but we got hold of an old drygoods 
box and made a door. A few fence posts 
made excellent jambs. For walls we took a 
plow and turned over the sod about three 
inches thick, then with a spade cut it into 
bricks about 14 inches long. These we piled 
one upon the other, leaving a hole 14x18 for 
a real glass window. It was easy to build 
but when it was completed it looked like the 
house that Jack built, and we had to keep the 


186 


A DRUMMER’S EXPERIENCE 


cows away from it until the grass dried up and 
blew away. We were both green at this kind 
of house building, and we-decided to leave off 
the plastering, especially as we had nothing 
but adobe to plaster with, and we forgot to 
wire it for electricity. The floor was the best 
thing about it. This was made of pure, un¬ 
adulterated dirt, and instead of using a planer 
to level down the bumps we used a hoe. 

A few days after this we were asked to a 
house-raising by a neighbor 15 miles to the 
south. No; this was not his nearest neighbor. 
He had one only twelve miles to the east 
from whom he borrowed coffee. 

Well, we got up the next morning before the 
coyotes went to bed. We roused old Billy 
and Maud from their dreams, threw the 
harness on, and were on our way before day¬ 
light. 

When we arrived at the neighbor’s home, all 
the mechanics were there ready to sling mud. 
They sized me up as a tenderfoot and put up 
a job on me. They said the easiest work was 
carrying the hod and as I was not accustomed 
to hard work I had better take it. I bit. I 
swallowed the bait, hook and all. The first 
attempt was a flat failure. I filled the hod 
with the “doby ” and started to the house, but 
I had the hod wrong end to, and the thin mud 
slid out of the open end, over my shirt and 
into my trousers. The whole crowd then 


SOD SHANTY 


187 


laughed boisterously at my predicament. 
This goes to show how little respect some 
people have fer their fellow-men. It took 
me quite a while to see where the fun came 
in. I was like the Englishman who listened 
to one of Mark Twain's capital stories. When 
Mark was through with his yarn everybody 
laughed and applauded except the English¬ 
man, who looked at the story-teller in amaze¬ 
ment. Ten days afterwards they met again. 
The Englishman came up smiling. 

“Mr. Clemens," he said, “have this cigar. 
I just thought how ridiculously funny that 
story was that you told ten days ago!” 

Well, the work progressed fine. We made 
the adobe into bricks and laid them in the 
sun to dry. This brick is about five inches 
broad and ten inches long when dry, and is 
good and hard. The walls are made of these 
bricks and plastered inside and out. Big 
beams run through the house at the eaves 
and the roof is covered with slabs. On top 
of these slabs dirt is shoveled to a depth of 
about eight inches. When it is finished, you 
have a house that is warm in winter and cool 
in summer, a regular adobe palace, the kind 
you find in New Mexico and Arizona. 

We stayed all night with the neighbor and 
early next morning saddled up the best steeds 
on the ranch for a coyote chase. With 20 
greyhounds at our heels, we had not gone far 


J88 


A DRUMMER’S EXPERIENCE 


when they jumped a coyote out of a dry creek 
bed. Now for the sport! At the risk of 
your life, but no time to think of that, you 
dig your spurs into your horse—exercise your 
lungs—and are off in pursuit. A man who 
can’t halloo has no business going on a 
coyote hunt. I yelled so hard I scared myself. 

I was riding a little gray horse that could 
jump gullies, ravines and small creeks, faster 
than you could count them. It was said by 
the cowboys that this horse could turn on a 
spot the size of a saddle blanket. We went 
pell mell for three miles, then our friend, the 
coyote, got in an old creek bed and the dogs 
lost him for a time. At last he was chased 
out by two grayhound pups about nine 
months old. Well of all the barking and yelp¬ 
ing I ever heard, these pups did it when they 
saw the prey. 

Now for the home stretch, level ground and 
a fair field, Sue in the lead and Buck a good 
second, with only a nose over old Ben. W 7 hen 
the quarter is reached all three dogs are 
abreast, coyote 20 feet in the lead—dogs no 
time to bark—men no time to holler. All 
you could do was to put spurs to steed and 
lean forward. Ah! There! Buck grabs a 
ham. Now for a short and decisive fight. 
The dogs at both ends string him like a tug- 
o-war. A few yelps and he is gone to the 
happy hunting-ground. 




Navajo Squaw and Papoose 












Chapter XXI 

COW PUNCHING OR CATTLE RAISING 

I promised to give you a sketch of the 
cattle business, and the cow boy. Well the 
Devil is not as black as he is painted in some 
of our ten cent novels. The writers would 
have you believe that the cow boys did noth¬ 
ing but ride bucking horses and kill Indians. 
This you will find is a mistake, if you ever 
undertake to follow one of these knights of the 
saddle. The cow boy is a hard worker and 
undergoes many hardships. He braves all 
sorts of weather, rides through rain and snow, 
over hills and rocks all day and comes back 
to the ranch house at dark to find the corral 
broken, saddle horses gone, and the steers 
mixed with the yearlings; has to cook his own 
supper and lie down to sleep on a bed that has 
not been made for a week; gets up in the 
morning and performs the duties of cook and 
chamber maid without soap, dish-rag or 
broom; yet with all this he is good natured 
and free of care. The cow boy of the west no 
longer carries his six shooter, he is sometimes 
a little noisy when he gets into town and is 
“tanked up,” but that is because he has 



COW PUNCHING OR CATTLE RAISING 191 


been tied down to his task of rounding up 
“dogies,” and isolated from society. A cow 
boy or man is an unknown quantity, you can 
see him in his village, or on the range in his 
“ chapps ” and spurs; and you could not 
tell whether he is working for sixty dollars a 
month, or whether he owns the one thousand 
steers he is rounding up. And if you see him 
in the city, it will not take you long to find 
out that he is free hearted and has some 
dignity. You will find him registered at the 
best hotel, and in every respect he has the 
bearing of a gentleman. In fact, he can 
afford to be, for the last five years the profits 
in cattle-raising have been great. A good 
four year old steer is worth as much as a 
horse. The only thing that worries the cow¬ 
man is range and water, the range is being 
badly cut up with the settler, the hoe is more 
to be feared than the six-shooter. The cattle¬ 
man now has to fence his pasture to keep his 
stock off the farmer, whereas, formerly, they 
ran at large, with a brand on them as big as a 
saddle blanket. There is another thing about 
the cattle business, the long horned steer is 
rapidly passing and the roan and buckskin 
is a thing of the past. The steer that is put 
on the market now is nearly twice as heavy 
as his former brother was, and he has dis¬ 
carded his mottled face for a white one, and 


192 


A DRUMMER’S EXPERIENCE 


has almost entirely lost his “snort” and fight¬ 
ing propensities. 

The average American takes great pride in 
his dignity and the social position he occupies. 
This is true as far as humanity is concerned. 
But before he swells up too much let him 
examine the progress made by the 'Western 
steer; here is a gentleman without royal 
blood as prestige which has with one grand 
leap landed in the most select circles—a full 
fledged autocrat disdaining to associate with 
the common herd of mankind. If you have 
any business to transact with him, ycu will 
have to make an appointment to meet him 
at the festal board of the rich. 


Chapter XXII 
THE EGYPT OF AMERICA 

I do not want to excite the susceptible mind 
and make you restless and dissatisfied with 
your surroundings. Contentment is one of 
the greatest of blessings. On the other hand 
it can be carried to excess. A happy, con¬ 
tented, careless people, are always indolent— 
never accomplish much, never seem to have 
any ambition, so there is a happy medium 
between restless people, and contented people. 
There is a growing, aggressive, restless spirit 
taking hold of the American people; and is 
working wonders, as well as havoc. If you 
are well located and contented, I do not wish 
to disturb you, but if you are ambitious, if 
you have a thirst for new things and an un¬ 
bounded desire to see and know, then I will 
try to show you conditions and opportunities 
as I see them, and you can investigate for 
yourself. It would be no use for me to try 
to decide for you, for no two people can see 
alike. If they did, business would soon be 
congested, all would want the same house and 
lot; or the same horse, and the boys would 
want the same girl. 

I will tell you what my likes and dislikes 



0 



Mortgage Lifter, Mississippi Valley 




















THE EGYPT OF AMERICA 


195 


are, and my reasons for my decisions. I will 
start with the south, inasmuch as I was 
reared there. Most people are partial to the 
state of their nativity. I attribute this to 
their patriotism and their youthful recol¬ 
lections. Everybody has a good time while 
young, and the smallest incident makes a 
lasting impression upon him. We remember 
our childhood friends, and the little events 
that were new and novel to us when young and 
full of hope and vigor; everything looks good, 
sounds good, feels good and tastes good. All 
the five senses grow dull as we grow old; con¬ 
sequently we do not enjoy life in later years, 
as we did in childhood. Therefore, the rea¬ 
son we feel kindly toward the land of our 
birth is because we spent the happiest hours 
of life there. Not because that particular 
country is better than others; but our judg¬ 
ment is warped, and it takes careful analysis 
to judge as to the merits and demerits of a 
certain country as compared to our birth¬ 
place. I think I have partially outgrown 
this sentiment. While the south has its ad¬ 
vantages, it has its disadvantages. Nature 
has done a great deal for the south, and where 
nature has done so much man has not exerted 
himself. Vegetation grows in abundance, the 
winters are mild, and rainfall is sufficient. On 
the other hand the natives of that section as 
a rule are careless, and not so energetic as 


196 


A DRUMMER’S EXPERIENCE 


their northern brothers. This has been 
brought about by two conditions. Slavery 
before the war, and the humidity of the 
climate. The south is destined to make 
grand strides in the near future—timber is 
plentiful, water power is available in most 
parts of the country, there are a great variety 
of products that can be raised, and land is 
cheap; the cheapest in the United States; 
and do you know that land is getting to be an 
object. Free homesteads are almost a thing 
of the past. The land that you can get now as 
a homestead is usually far away from market 
and often broken, they are not such home¬ 
steads as our forefathers got in Illinois, 
Indiana and Tennessee. 

If you are looking for an investment that 
will unquestionably prove good, it can be 
found in Arkansas and Florida, in these as 
well as other southern states land can be 
bought for from twenty to seventy-five dollars 
per acre, according to locality, quality of 
soil and as to whether it is raw or cultivated. 

Truck farming and the orchard are the 
stronghold of the south. Small fruits do ex¬ 
ceedingly well in Tennessee and Arkansas. 
Vegetables and citrus fruits grow to per¬ 
fection in'Florida. This is the home of the 
grape fruit. There are hundreds of acres of 
it planted here, and it yields good returns, 
much better than oranges or lemons, the fruit 


THE EGYPT OF AMERICA 


197 


is growing in popularity and is destined to 
replace other fruits of its kind on many 
tables. It, like oranges, is a slow growth. A 
farmer undertaking to raise this fruit should 
have a few hundred dollars to tide him over, 
until his orchard gets to bearing. Transporta¬ 
tion to market is good, inasmuch as they 
have water in competition to railroads. Of 
course it is hot in summer, especially if you 
get inland, but on the coast you nearly al¬ 
ways have a breeze and the health of the 
country is far better than it formerly was, as 
lakes and lagoons are being drained more 
each year. 

There is one thing about the southern 
people that is very noticeable, they are very 
hospitable and courteous, make good neigh¬ 
bors and are nearly always trustworthy. They 
are fast dropping the southern brogue or 
accent, and are getting more energy as the 
country is being impregnated with people 
from all over the United States. If you like 
balmy sunshine and gentle breezes, the south 
is the ideal place, it is also comparatively 
new as compared to the eastern states. There 
are a great many chances for investment, 
some of them good, especially in real estate. 
The country is not adapted to extensive farm¬ 
ing and cattle raising. But will prove to be a 
pleasant haven of rest for the old people and 
persons affected with nervous troubles. It is 


J98 


A DRUMMER’S EXPERIENCE 


a great relief for people in the large cities in 
the north, to visit this country in the winter, 
it seems like going into a new world of peace 
and quietude. 

As to the price paid for labor, it is cheaper 
in the south than any where else in the 
United States or Canada. The cause of this 
is, there is a great deal of unskilled labor 
among the colored race, that is cheap both in 
quality and price. This labor comes in com¬ 
petition with all white labor. Living is 
cheap here also, compared with the rest of 
the country. Almost all cereals and fruits 
are raised at your door—and vegetables! well 
everybody has them. Manufactured articles 
are as high here as any place, and in the small 
towns it is often hard to get the higher grades 
of goods as they are not carried in stock. The 
greatest obstacle to prosperity in the south is 
the credit system. It is carried to excess, and 
to the detriment of both buyer and seller. 
The south might be likened to a sleeping giant 
who is dreaming of wealth, happiness and 
pleasure, and whose ears are being tickled 
by the breeze of ambition, he is liable to awake 
in his strength at any time, and stride forth 
to conquest and power. 

The first extensive traveling I ever did was 
in the east. When I first saw Boston I 
thought it was the greatest town on earth. I 
am sorry, but I have surely changed my mind. 


THE EGYPT OF AMERICA 


199 


While the people in the east are quick, alert, 
shrewd traders and well posted, they remind 
me of a band of sheep that are being watched 
by the herder; they are within certain bounds, 
this herder is the manufacturer; he watches 
his herd and takes care of them but he shears 
them pretty often. He tries to make them be¬ 
lieve that his interest is their interest, and he 
generally succeeds, the people do not seem to 
have the liberty, freedom, and independence 
that they do in other parts of America. An¬ 
other thing about the east, their corn crib is 
in Nebraska, their pig pen in Kansas, and 
their beef in Colorado. I like the landscapes, 
the hills and the verdure of the east, but their 
climate is too changeable, winters too severe. 
I like the hustle and bustle of the east, but I 
do not like their conservative way of doing 
business. Their education and refinement is 
admirable, and with proper mixing with 
broad-gaged ideas and principles of the west, 
they should develop into the best specimens 
of American Citizenship. We people in the 
west would like to exchange a little of our 
hospitality and nerve, for the sagacity and 
concentration of the east. Several thousand 
eastern people every year are coming west to 
absorb our sunshine and scenery, they are 
welcome, we have it in abundance and it costs 
us nothing. We are like the whirling Dervish 
—what we receive free, we dispense free. 


200 


A DRUMMER’S EXPERIENCE 


As for health in the east, it is fairly good 
except pneumonia and lung trouble. Their 
water is good. If you have money to invest 
it should be safe in certain sections of the east, 
but it will bring you no handsome returns, be¬ 
cause property values are at the top notch 
now. There is no virgin territory to be de¬ 
veloped. Every line of manufacturing seems 
to be full, the ladder of business is crowded on 
top as well as at the bottom. Opportunities 
do not hang on limbs like pears. Salaries 
have been watered, as well as stocks. West¬ 
ward the power of Empire takes its way. 
The big cities of the East will for years to 
come hold the balance of trade, on account of 
their shipping facilities, but the manufactory 
is destined to work westward and southward. 
The center of population is now moving west 
very fast, when they get one sniff of the fresh 
air they never turn back. Well, we need their 
money, their system, and their frugality. In 
exchange, we will give them liberty, equality 
and opportunity. 

To a man who has never traveled from 
Buffalo to Bismarck, from New Orleans to 
Duluth, knows nothing of the United States. 
This section is truly an Empire within itself. 
She could build a Chinese wall enclosing her 
possessions and live within herself, like a 
prince in a castle, have every necessity and 
every luxury. She could build corn cribs to 


THE EGYPT OF AMERICA 


201 


the moon, fence in states for her cattle pastures 
and floor counties for her pig-sties. Her rail¬ 
roads would encircle the globe twice, her 
lakes could float all the ships in the world and 
not be crowded; she could raise n standing 
army greater than Csesar ever attempted. 

The old Mississippi is surely the Nile of 
America. Its valley pulsating with humanity, 
the most enlightened on the face of the globe. 
If you want to be a “hog and hominy” man 
this is the section to locate in. Lands are 
high, but productive; property will not de¬ 
preciate in value for a thousand years; there 
are two things you must look out for: One is 
elbow room; it will not be many years until 
people will crowd each other too much in this 
locality. The second is: While real estate 
will not depreciate any it will not increase in 
value as fast as it will in the west, and in the 
south, from the fact that it is at the present 
time higher than in the west and south. The 
inhabitants of the north central states are 
hardy, industrious people; and as a rule are 
thrifty. In Minnesota and the Dakotas 
there are a great many natives of Sweden, they 
are a good class of citizens, they have become 
Americanized and patriotic. They will fight 
for the American flag as quick as a Yankee, 
they have dropped nearly all of the old 
country customs; have fine horses and good 
vehicles, are frugal and money-making. As I 


202 


A DRUMMER S EXPERIENCE 


remarked, land as a rule is high priced, but 
this does not imply that all of it is. You can 
find land in some localities for twenty dollars 
an acre, up to two hundred dollars. I guess 
land in the great Mississippi valley will 
average about one hundred dollars an acre. 
There is very little government land left in 
that section. North and South Dakota 
have the greatest acreage of wild land. 
The water is fairly good, very little 
alkali or gip to be found in all this vast 
section. Another peculiar thing is, nearly all 
domestic water is wells and cisterns, not many 
running streams. In some localities the sur¬ 
face water is gradually dr}dng up; in most 
states. A notable example is that of Devil's 
Lake, North Dakota, the water has receded 
for a mile in some places, the rainfall has con¬ 
tinued about the same, through this belt for 
the last thirty years; crops are nearly always 
bountiful. This section can truly be called 
the Egypt of America. 


Chapter XXIII 
IS HONESTY THE BEST POLICY 

No, honesty is not the best policy—honesty 
is the only policy. To accomplish and enjoy 
is the aim in life. You cannot enjoy unless 
your actions and purposes are honorable. It 
is for your own advancement and standing. 
To be honest is the height of self-respect. 
Honesty gives you position and prestige. 
With position and prestige you can accom¬ 
plish wonders. Without honesty you can take 
petty advantages and secure your aims and 
desires for a time, but it will reflect on you and 
do you ten dollars worth of damage where it 
did you five dollars worth of good. 

You may find it hard to be honorable in 
all your dealings. First look over the pend¬ 
ing deal, into the future. You can use the 
present parties’ influence to turn a better deal 
later on. This is what is called business 
policy and is what gives our business men 
standing, and the nation credit. 

I have little faith in the man who is honest 
for fear the devil will get him; he is liable to 
take chances on the devil being asleep, then 


204 


A DRUMMER’S EXPERIENCE 


you’ll get a skinning that you won’t forget in 
a hurry. 

Dishonesty is like insanity, you cannot 
leave the decision to the party perpetrating 
the act. The man who is insane claims to 
be the smartest man in the county, and, 
oftentimes he is very cunning in some things. 
So the most dishonest man in your neighbor¬ 
hood defends his acts, and often makes a good 
argument in his own behalf. You frequently 
see people take stands that to you are per¬ 
fectly ridiculous. They contend that they 
are right, and we are compelled to admit that 
they appear to be honest in their arguments 
and convictions. Now who shall be judge of 
the situation, yourself or they? Two men 
have a lawsuit. Why? Because each thinks 
he is right; but when the court hands down 
the decision we find they are both wrong. 
What, then, is equity? It is the decision as 
rendered by law or the general public and not 
by individuals. An interested individual is 
not in a position to judge, as to the acts or 
intentions of his opponent. If people would 
only consider that it is possible for them to 
make a mistake as readily as their opponents, 
then we would have less bickerings. 

The only way you can judge people, or 
yourself, is by established customs or laws. 
Here is where people make the fatal mistake. 
In judging their own actions they are gov- 


IS HONESTY THE BEST POLICY 205 . 

erned by opportunities and inclinations; they 
are controlled by the animal within them, and 
not by equity, as established by law or pre¬ 
cedence. This dishonest principle in children 
is called (by their mothers) selfishness; but 
when the child gets to be a man and steals a 
horse, he is called a thief. When a child tells 
an untruth it is called a “story.” When he 
does the same thing thirty years later, he is a 
liar. When a child deceives you, the parents 
say it is “cute.” When he is grown to man¬ 
hood and forges a check—what is it then? 
When a servant girl takes a stickpin or ring 
from her employer it is theft. When the 
lady of the house goes down to one of the big 
stores and shoves a silk waist into her shop¬ 
lifting bag, it is kleptomania. Now where are 
you going to draw the line? There is no dis¬ 
tinction; it is all the same principle, from the 
cradle to the grave, in the hovel, or in the 
palace; it is nothing less than thievery and de¬ 
ception born in the man—in your child—and 
can only be eradicated by education and 
proper training. Teach the child to think 
and show him the consequences of misdeeds. 
It does no good to tell your boy not to do a 
thing because it is wrong. What does he 
care whether it is right or wrong; these words 
have no meaning to him . Teach him by ob¬ 
ject lessons to respect the rights of other 
people. Take him to the jail and show him 


206 


A DRUMMER’S EXPERIENCE 


the criminals, and explain to him the cause 
of their troubles. You may not think that 
your boy needs such forcible examples, but re¬ 
member you are the parent, and cannot see 
the extent of his faults. 

Men who are always taking advantage of 
circumstances to deceive and rob their fellow- 
men, do so because they think they can “get 
away with the goods,” and when they succeed 
a time or two, they grow more daring, and 
take greater chances. If they would stop to 
think that others just as smart as they are, 
have tried the same games and been caught, 
they possibly would not be so reckless. The 
rat may steal the bait once, and he may not 
even succeed the first time, but there is one 
thing dead sure , if he keeps it up the trap 
will win. You may deceive the man you are 
dealing with once, but not the second time. 
You have to advertise for a new “sucker,” 
and that is expensive. If the thieves in our 
jails had worked for $1.00 a day while in 
prison, they could have bought more goods 
than they have ever stolen. A man holding 
a public trust may deceive the people once or 
twice, but he will not get the chance again. A 
merchant may sell a pair of trousers by de¬ 
ception, but be will not be able to sell the 
coat and vest to match. The monkey stole 
the bull-pup’s dinner once—only once! 



Falls of the Spokane 




















Chapter XXIV 
THE FAR WEST 

Did you ever stop to think of the vast dif¬ 
ference in the size of eastern and western 
states? Some day when you are looking at a 
map it will be very interesting to do some 
figuring, see how many eastern states you can 
put inside of Montana, Wyoming or Colo- 



A Western Savings Bank 

rado. A traveler going to Frisco from Boston 
has just started west when he gets to Chicago. 
This trip would be very monotonous if it was 
not for the change in scenery, corn-cribs in 
Nebraska, five hundred feet long; the thou- 








THE FAR WEST 


209 


sands of sheep in Wyoming; the vast herds 
of cattle in Nevada; the blooming fruit trees 
in Colorado, constantly keeps the tourist 
pulling the shade back to drink in the sights. 
It is money well spent to take a trip to the 
Far West. It is a great education, better 
then a post graduate course, will make you 
broader minded, enthusiastic and patriotic. 

To a traveler who has made a business of 
investigating conditions, the west appeals 
very strongly. The resources are so vast in 
every branch of industry, and to see the vigor 
with which the people take hold of these in¬ 
dustries and enterprises, if you have a merit¬ 
orious proposition, it is no trouble to get 
money to carry it to completion. There is a 
broad gauge principle of doing business in the 
west, you ask why this is so; simple enough, 
the people who had the nerve to brave the 
hardships and privations of the west fifty 
years ago, were people who had unlimited 
courage; were broad minded and optimistic. 
These people while rough in their manners 
were the bone and sinew of the American 
people. The fearful, the timid, and the 
tenderfoot stayed back at home. The off¬ 
spring of these first pioneers are the men and 
women of the present population. If we have 
a house to sell, a ranch to sell, a train of cattle 
to sell, we approach a prospective buyer say, 
“ Hello Bill, I want to sell you my cattle/' 


210 


A DRUMMER’S EXPERIENCE 


Bill will not say, “Well I guess I am not in 
the market.” No, you will hear him say, 
“What do you want for them, spit it out.” 
He does not have to take it under advise¬ 
ment and ask all of his kinfolks if he should 
buy them. I have known deals where 
strangers have met and within one hour have 
traded or sold real estate amounting to 
$100,000. Nearly everybody has confidence 
in his own judgment and is willing to 
take chances on an investment on short 
notice. There is an ease and freedom in 
the west that is found nowhere else; people 
are more sociable, there are not so many di¬ 
viding lines and hair splitting technicalities as 
in the older parts of the United States. People 
have respect for overalls in this section of the 
country because the man inside of them may 
be worth half a million. 

Now as for investments in the west, it is 
surely the country of possibilities. The land 
is almost invariably rich; and the products 
have a ready sale in our cities. At the present 
time there is not enough raised to supply home 
consumption. The land will improve in fer¬ 
tility from year to year as the soil is fed by 
loam and volcanic ash every time irrigation 
water is run over it, no fertilizer ever needed. 
The country is being opened up very fast, new 
irrigating schemes are constantly being com¬ 
pleted, reclaiming thousands of acres of land. 


THE FAR WEST 


211 


While we are speaking of irrigated lands, I 
want to caution you about buying lands under 
a ditch, until you have investigated thor¬ 
oughly, as to the water rights of the ditch 
owners. I do not want to infer that all canal 
companies need watching, but some of them 
do. There are cases where the canal or 
Water Co., sell too much water, more than 
they can deliver. There are canal companies 
who have to depend wholly upon flood water 
to fill their reservoirs, this is not a safe propo¬ 
sition, inasmuch as some years there may be 
a scarcity of snow in the mountains, and the 
older ditch companies in time of scarcity of 
water are entitled to the water first, this 
leaves the new or last ditch company short. 
There are several government irrigation sys¬ 
tems now in operation that are very good for 
the homesteader, he can homestead the land 
subject to irrigation and then buy his water 
from the Government, and get a longtime on 
the deferred payments of his water right. 

Dry ranching offers a grand opportunity to 
the man who has a few hundred dollars in 
cash to invest in cattle or sheep. The farmer 
can plant fifty to one hundred acres in milo 
maze, sugar cane, kaffir corn or Spanish pea¬ 
nuts; these crops are easily raised and make 
ample feed for his cattle or sheep in winter, 
in the summer his stock have free range, and 
it is astonishing how they grow into money. 


212 


A DRUMMER’S EXPERIENCE 


As for health. Well a doctor has to be a 
politician or a grafter to live, and sometimes 
he is an expert at all. There is an old maxim: 
“That health is better than wealth,” but it is 
nice and not very inconvenient to have both. 
If this climate and water does not bring you 
health, you had better go to the glue factory 
and get a bid on yourself. I know a man who 
came to this city twenty-seven years ago; at 
that time he only weighed eight pounds, now 
he weighs one hundred eighty-five. A man told 
me he would not mind living in the west if we 
were more civilized, and did not have such a 
hard time to make a living. On the point of 
civilization, I told him he was mistaken, that 
the college boys wore long hair and played 
football just the same as in the east, and that 
we gave the women a chance to vote before he 
did; if this is not progress, please let us know, 
we are always open for an argument, and as for 
making a living, that is no trouble when you 
know the pass-word; every man should have 
learned this in the school of experience. A 
man is like a piece of steel, the more you 
hammer him the tougher he gets. 

My advice is, that when your children 
marry send them far enough away so they 
cannot hear a pig squeal at your house. Teach 
every young man to stand alone. He has 
got to stand before he can walk; give him en¬ 
couragement, but do not supply him with a 


THE FAR WEST 


213 


go-cart. Too much assistance is worse than 
none. This brings to mind the story of “how 
to make a pup.” A boy and his father were 
training a pup how to be vicious, the boy was 
holding the pup and the old man was teasing 
him. At last the pup got loose and grabbed 
the old man and was chewing on him in great 
shape, the old man hallooed for the boy 
to take him off. “Oh! Pop, do not be in a 
hurry, it is tough on you, but it is the making 
of the pup.” We welcome all progressive 
people to the land of sunshine and wild-roses, 
but we do not want the kind that has a swell 
head and a limber pocket-book; he had better 
exchange his head for a back-bone, and per¬ 
suade his old man to swap pocket books. We 
notice that some of the fathers in the east are 
getting wise. I heard of a case lately that 
fit the subject and the occasion. A father 
had a very trifling son, he gave him twenty 
dollars and told him to go as far west as it 
would take him. He came to Chicago, and 
wrote the Governor that he was out of money. 
His father sent him twenty more and told him 
to go on west; he came to Denver and wrote 
back for more money. The old man sent him 
twenty dollars more and told him to go on 
west; he came to “Frisco” and wrote for 
more money, saying that he was deadbroke 
and afoot. The old man did not send him 
any more, but told him to go on west. There 


214 


A DRUMMER’S EXPERIENCE 


has been big changes in the west in the last 
twenty years. The miner has learned the 
value of money, the western steer has lost his 
horns, the cow-boy has swapped bis six 
shooter for a diamond stick pin, the ox-team 
has been sold to the packers, to be converted 
into country sausage and the proceeds have 
been invested in an auto, the buffalo has gone 
where all good Indians go, and haystacks 
grow in his stead. The gentleman with the 
black mask, who formerly held up banks and 
stage coaches, has either bit the dust, or made 
arrangements with the warden of the pen to 
boss the rock pile, and the yellow-back blood 
and thunder novel, can no longer use the west 
as a moving picture show. 



Lighthouse, Northwest Coast 












Chapter XXV 

HOW TO JUDGE A MAN 

In this chapter I wish to strike from the 
shoulder. To be able to read human nature, 
is one of the greatest assets you can possibly 
possess. It will make you money, enable you 
to be more agreeable and to accomplish your 
purpose with ease and to be able to know at a 
glance where your man stands. What people 
say, does not always indicate their meaning. 
Actions speak louder than words. There is 
not one man in a hundred who can hide his 
thoughts, or intentions, as to what his pur¬ 
pose is, or the decision he is about to make. 
Our aim is an open book to a man who can 
read human nature. While there is no in¬ 
fallible rule by which to weigh your man or 
woman, there are rules that are almost as 
sure as two and two making four; the human 
eye is a window to the soul, and speaks as 
plainly as a college professor. A man or 
woman with a quick movement of the eye is 
quick and impulsive and are liable to change 
their mind; if you want to do business with 
them do it while they are interested in your 
proposition, if they have time to reflect, they 
are liable to take another notion. 


HOW TO JUDGE A MAN 


217 


Do not trust a person who cannot look you 
squarely in the eye. He is treacherous and 
deceptive and will lie to you, his word of 
honor amounts to nothing. 

The man with a cold gray eye is all right 
when you get his confidence. He is careful 
and suspicious. You cannot impose on him, 
he is matter of fact, and when he tells you any¬ 
thing it is usually the truth, but he may not 
tell you the whole truth. You may have to 
read between the lines. He is usually shrewd 
and reserved, does not talk much, but is 
watching every move you make. So be on 
your guard, do not try to deceive him, you are 
likely to fail. He is practical and makes a 
good partner in business, but he will expect 
you to be on the job and do your part. He 
makes no bustle in life, and does not try to 
show off to attract attention. 

A woman that has this kind of an eye is in¬ 
clined to be reserved, and sometimes a little 
dull in conversation, but will not talk about 
her neighbors. Black eyes are quick to pene¬ 
trate, and to think. Women of this type are 
usually fluent conversationalists and attrac¬ 
tive, are good dressers, but are pretty high 
strung. She is willing to do her house work, 
but needs no boss. 

Men with dark, or black eyes, are deep 
thinkers, and schemers, quick to detect the 
trend of events, and make good financiers. 


218 


A DRUMMER’S EXPERIENCE 


As a rule cannot work for wages, want to be 
free and independent. You had better keep a 
weather eye open when you are dealing with 
him, he is liable to show you more than is in 
the proposition. He is enthusiastic himself, 
and is apt to get you excited, cause you to 
invest too deep. This man makes a good 
salesman, and is a success among the ladies. 
I would not care to trust him at the head of a 
department with many people under him, he is 
apt to intimidate his subordinates. He should 
be in business of his own. 

The person who has a great deal of white 
in the eye, is usually easy to get along with. 
They are not meddlesome, will do their duty 
and stay within their bounds, are not very 
fluent talkers, nor deep thinkers. 

The large full eye, one that seems to bulge 
out, is very fluent if educated, is usually well 
posted and is a good companion; though they 
are sometimes more theoretical than practical. 
They make good college professors and lect¬ 
urers. If you are posted on your points of 
argument you can influence them by hard 
facts; but not by arguments, because they 
see the point you are attempting to make and 
have a line of defense framed to counteract 
your proposition before you can make your 
point. 

The pale blue eye is usually of a bad dis¬ 
position, domineering and selfish, and I would 


HOW TO JUDGE A MAN 


219 


not care to trust it too far. I would not enter 
into a co-partnership with it. This is not 
saying that they are all so inclined. I am 
speaking of the generality of men, there are 
exceptions to all rules. 

As to the outward actions: Do not trust a 
man who, when he passes you keeps throwing 
his head around to look at you. It is all right 
for him to take one look, but if he takes more 
than one, I will want to watch him a little. 
Do not trust a man who looks at you under his 
eyebrows with his head tucked down, he is 
treacherous. Do not trust a man or woman 
who tries to flatter you and agree to all you say , 
they are hypocrites and vipers . Do not trust 
a man who is quick to make promises before 
he thoroughly investigates your position, he 
either is not sincere, or is not capable of judg¬ 
ing. A man that is too willing to give advice 
usually has nothing to give. Do not trust 
a man or woman who have a lot of secrets 
to tell you, and who talk about their neighbor 
or their competitor. The man or woman who 
tells suggestive stories about their competitors 
or neighbors need to be watched, they are 
trying to get into your confidence, and to 
make you believe they are a model. They are 
a model of mischief and deceit. If I want 
advice on any point, I will go to a man who is 
not prone to talking his business, or about his 
competitor. Above all beware of a man who 


220 


A DRUMMER’S EXPERIENCE 


boasts of his honesty, he will not rob your hen 
house, but he will deceive you and has no 
conscience if he gets the advantage of you. 

The hypocrite above all men is the most 
despicable, he is worse than the coyote; he 
tries to get your confidence and then betrays 
you. All honest men honor a fighter. Can¬ 
dor and honor are the two most adored virtues 
of the human race. A man or woman without 
honor, have never attained to any degree of 
standing in a neighborhood. They can de¬ 
ceive for a while but it will come out. A 
dime’s worth of sapolio will go a long way to¬ 
ward removing dirt, grease and stains; but a 
thousand dollars worth of sulphuric acid will 
not remove the spots from a hypocrite and liar ; 
the more you rub the worse they shine. I 
have more respect for a gambler than a hypo¬ 
crite. The gambler makes no pretensions to 
be honest, he merely dares you to play his 
game. The hypocrite is like the spider after 
the fly; he invites you into his parlor, but the 
combination lock fastens with a snap as soon 
as you cross the threshold. Try to learn him; 
his manners are usually suave and polite, he is 
a gentleman in appearance, a thief in disguise; 
though you seldom see him in the pen, he 
generally keeps within the bounds of the law, 
though he is often on the brink. He surely 
gets no comfort out of life, but it is not be- 


HOW TO JUDGE A MAN 


221 


cause his conscience hurts him; it is because he 
is afraid of being cornered. 

If you are introducing yourself to a man, or 
being formally introduced by a friend, now on 
offering to greet him by shaking hands, he puts 
out his hand about six inches from his body, 
and lets it hang in the air like a frost-bitten 
sunflower; and when you take hold of this paw 
of knavery it feels like a candidate’s “ busted” 
aspirations; I would advise you to cut the ac¬ 
quaintance of this gentleman as soon as possi¬ 
ble. You cannot rely on him; his word is as 
unreliable as his hand. He is suspicious of 
everybody, therefore needs watching himself. 
The man who grips your hand hard, and holds 
on while he talks, is not harmful. He is only 
trying to advertise himself. He is an egotist, 
and wants to convert you to his cause. 

The firm, quick, decisive grasp, has charac¬ 
ter, honor and fellowship. Such wish you 
success and will not throw chunks in your 
path. 





Wreck on Santa Fe, Arkansas Valley 























Chapter XXVI 
MEXICO 

Mexico is a country that I can say nothing 
good about, therefore, I guess I will say very 
little; but if you are ever at El Paso, Texas; 
or Douglas, Arizona, walk over and see how 
you feel. Juarez, (pronounced War-ez) just 
across the Rio Grande river from El Paso, is a 
town of about 5,000 inhabitants. This town 
is kept up by curious Yankees, who go over 
there seeking amusement, and they generally 
find it. The wily Mexican is looking out for 
the American eagles. He likes our money 
better than his own, inasmuch as it will buy 
twice as many tamales and frijoles for his little 
papoose. The town of Juarez has the last 
bull fight of the season, every week, for two 
months in the spring. The bulls will always 
fight as long as there are Americans to patron¬ 
ize the game. Some of the shrewd boys from 
the north side of the river, have learned to 
beat the game. The Mexican who occupies 
the exalted position of relieving you of your 
coin at the box office when the biggest fights 
of the season are held.is a good judge of color, 
(as well as whiskey). He sizes up each appli¬ 
cant who seems anxious to part with his 






224 


A DRUMMER’S EXPERIENCE 


“ Simoleons. ” If your skin is fair, and you 
look prosperous, he takes a dollar of your 
“ tainted” money; but if you are dark in color 
and wear a “Sombrero” he taxes you only 
fifty cents. Now if this fifty cents will be 
worth anything to you, just hand a Mexican 
fifty cents and he will buy your seat for you. 
When you get through admiring the butchery, 
you can take this fifty cents and go into the 
Cock pit just across the alley; and see the game 
cocks cut each others heads off with their gaffs. 
If you are not satisfied, you can go up town on 
the principal streets and find any kind of a 
gambling game known to civilized or uncivi¬ 
lized man; and when you go in to one of these 
places, you wall not find the chairs empty. 
Look around and see if any of your neighbors 
from home are here. It is astonishing how 
many privileges people will take when they 
are far enough away from home so they are 
safe from criticism. I have seen dozens of 
Americans in these dives with their wives; and 
they were not spectators either . They learn 
how to play “Keno” awfully easy, and they 
want to try their luck; but in trying luck, they 
usually win at least once; then it is all off w r ith 
the big “Swede.” They know they can beat 
the game , and here goes to prove it. The 
balance of the afternoon is utilized in the at¬ 
tempt to beat the Mexican at his own game; 


MEXICO 


225 


but at night when they return to the Sheldon, 
in El Paso, they have lost their rabbit foot. 

I w r ill not attempt to describe the bull fight 
in detail, it is too barbarous for civilized people 
to read. The Amphitheater, at Rome, never 
witnessed greater cruelties than are practiced 
in a Spanish bull ring. In Juarez there is a 
perfect circle covering about an acre, with a 
large circle in the center. There is a high 
board fence between the arena and the specta¬ 
tors. Into this ring the bull is driven to face 
his tormentors; but as he is driven in, an un¬ 
seen hand, from above forces two gaffs into 
his shoulders, so that every time he steps they 
irritate him. Now (Toreadors and Picadors) 
men on foot and horse-back, begin the attack 
to enrage him, always taking precautions to 
keep out of his way. Then the horse that is 
to be killed is brought into the ring, blind¬ 
folded. The man on the horse taunts the 
bull and allows him to kill the horse. After 
the bull is thoroughly exhausted, the chief 
butcher (Matador), amid cheers from the 
crowd; goes into the ring with a red scarf and 
a straight sword. Watching his opportunity 
he thrusts the sword through the top of the 
neck, down between the shoulders and en¬ 
deavors to hit the heart, though frequently 
he is not successful. There are usually three 
or four bulls killed in an afternoon. It is an 
excitement that seems to attract most Ameri- 




226 


A DRUMMER’S EXPERIENCE 


cans once; but as a rule they do not go back 
the second time; as there is no genuine sport 
in the affair. 

Mexico from its earliest history has been 
scourged with revolution, commencing with 
the independence in 1802 , there has hardly 
been a time when there was not a civil war in 
progress, or one brewing. The political lead¬ 
ers keep the people stirred up, and this is not 
hard to do, when you consider that there are 
some seven hundred different tribes of Indians 
and other people to be reckoned with. There 
are about one hundred different languages. 
Here you see is plenty of breeding ground for 
discontent and strife. Each faction clamor¬ 
ing for superiority, each jealous of the other, 
and all after the scalp of the party which is in 
power. 

It is a conglomeration of Spanish chivalry 
and Indian barbarism; social conditions are 
very bad. There are three principal classes. 
The politician, the aristocrat, and the peon. 
The lines that are drawn are very distinct. 
This, of course, generates hatred. This added 
to the warlike and restless spirit, keeps the pot 
boiling. Mexico is an exceptionally rich 
country, especially the southern and eastern 
portions; though the modes of cultivating the 
land is crude. Concessions to foreign syndi¬ 
cates have been made from time to time, to get 
foreign capital interested, and introduce mod- 


MEXICO 


227 


ern ideas; but this has only generated strife, 
and the colonists that have gone in there have 
suffered; oftentimes being pillaged and driven 
out, or asked to put up indemnities by some 
local ruler or officer. The principal products 
of the south portion are small fruits and 
grapes. The silk industry has made consider¬ 
able progress. Indigo, rubber and coffee are 
extensively cultivated. 

From the eastern coast the country rises in 
successive steps to the Sierra Madre Moun¬ 
tains. The northern part of the republic is 
occupied almost exclusively by cattle and 
sheep ranges. 

The climate is fine through the central and 
northern portions. The Mexican is a born 
gambler, but he always wants a sure thing. A 
great many live by their wits, i. e. duping the 
lower class. They are barbarous in war, and 
restless in time of peace. I would not advise 
you to take them too seriously. He may do 
what he promises, but more frequently he will 
not. If you want him to do a thing, and he 
says “Manana” you had better go do it your¬ 
self. “Manana”, means tomorrow, but with 
him tomorrow never comes. 

* 





Chapter XXVII 
PANAMA CANAL, RAILROADS, ETC. 

Do you know who we are? If not get ac¬ 
quainted. We are the greatest nation on the 
face of the globe! Do we ever start anything 
we cannot finish. Never! Why is this so? 
Because we are endowed with resources, in¬ 
genuity, experience, and money. Do you 
know that the Panama Canal is the biggest 



New Panama Railroad Station, Colon, 1909. 











PANAMA CANAL, RAILROADS, ETC. 229 

undertaking the world has ever known. We 
will finish it two years ahead of time, after 
other powers have failed. We paid the 
French government $40,000,000 for their 
rights and material. Afterwards we had to 
pay for the Canal Zone, and a few other extras 
which made the grand total, $55,000,000. We 
paid this out of our pocket change; went to 
work and cleaned up the zone, reduced the 
death rate more than 80 per cent. When we 
got going, we moved 1,000,000 cubic yards of 
dirt per month. We have paid over $9,000,- 
000 for preliminary material. We own sixty- 
one steam shovels and sixteen hundred cars. 
We have bought more than 1,000,000 pounds 
of dynamite. This ought to be enough to 
loosen up a miser’s pocket book. At any rate, 
it will loosen up the commerce of the world, 
and start it in a stream, floating between 
North and South America. 

Did you know that we have the largest rock 
quarry in the world (Alaska). Yes, and she has 
coal fields that surpass the peat beds of Ire¬ 
land. She has timber enough to fence off 
every state in the union, and she has an 
acreage that looks good on paper. She is 
more than twice as large as the lone star State, 
having 590,884 square miles. Did you know 
that our other territorial possessions exclusive 
of Alaska, amount to 125,511 square miles, 
and that we have 236,378 miles of railroad? 





230 


A DRUMMER’S EXPERIENCE 


This is nearly one-half the railroad mileage of 
the entire world. ? Did you know that we have 
276,583 miles of telegraph lines; twenty-seven 
first class battle ships; also nine in the older 
class, but good enough to do good barking at 
a fortification, and that we have fifteen first 
class cruisers that can scrap like a bob cat. 
Did you know that we only had 100,000 en¬ 
listed men in the army? Did you know that 
we need no more; an army is the most expen¬ 
sive luxury a nation ever possessed. They 
are nice to amuse us on the fourth of July, 
and on Decoration day. The stripes on their 
trousers and the buttons of their vests, look 
good to the girls, but the girls, old man, cannot 
see the point when it comes to pay the bills. 
Our Generals all claim we need a larger army. 
Why do they advocate this? Well, a General 
is like a walking delegate; trouble is what 
gives him employment. When we increase 
the army, each officer moves up a notch. 
Officers are human the same as the rest of us. 
Let’s analyze this proposition. Why do we 
need an army of 500,000? We have no job 
for them. It would be expensive to keep the 
seat of their pants in order. We have no 
powerful nation adjacent to us that might be¬ 
come a foe and invade our land over night. 
No border lines that troops could be marched 
across, and throw up a fortification before we 
could appear upon the scene. We have a 


PANAMA CANAL, RAILROADS, ETC. 231 

navy that could hold in check any foreign foe, 
until we could sound the bugle from the Poto¬ 
mac to the Sacramento, from Galveston to 
Duluth. Do you know that bugle would be 
heard and answered by 15,000,000 able bodied 
men. Is this an army? The army of Xerxes 
was an infant in swaddling clothes! The 
army of Napoleon would not make us a body¬ 
guard! And as for transportation, the thou¬ 
sands of railroads, operating over 236,378 
miles of track ought to deliver men, arms and 
ammunition enough in 48 hours to make a 
Caesar catch his breath. This talk of us being 
surprised, sounds like the babble of a baby. 
With six or seven submarine cables, and the 
wireless telegraph; these will tell more stories 
than a woman’s club. 

This is an age of progress, an age in which 
the arts and sciences have electrified com¬ 
merce. If the Emperor of Japan gives an 
order we hear it the day before it happens. 
Yes, we have in constant use the three fastest 
means of transmitting news. i. e. “ Telephone/’ 
“Telegraph” and “Tell a Woman,” The 
construction of the sentence, however, varies 
a little each time it is told in the last mentioned 
method. Did you ever try to conceive of the 
wealth of the U. S. in order to compare it to 
something else, so you could grasp the situa¬ 
tion? I doubt if there is a man in America 
that can draw an accurate conclusion of the 



232 


A DRUMMER’S EXPERIENCE 


value of this stupendous pile. You cannot 
make a comparison unless you have something 
of like value. If I should undertake to com¬ 
pare the wealth of our country, I think I would 
succeed about as well as the Chinaman did 
when he undertook to describe the size of an 
elephant. He said he was a “ great big-way - 
out.” But at any rate if I had all the wealth 
of the United States I would not have to worry 
about having that last year’s suit of clothes 
cleaned. Let us be serious for a moment. 
Were you ever in a foreign land, 10,000 miles 
from home. When you were asked your 
nationality did you falter or stammer as you 
pronounced the word, America? Were you 
ever accused of being a fossil, a degenerate, a 
snob, or a pauper? No! the only thing the 
foreigner ever accuses you of is being a dollar 
chaser. The only reason he does this is be¬ 
cause he has been bitten by the green eyed 
monster, jealousy. I, like Adam’s calf, wan¬ 
dered away from home once myself, and by 
chance fell among an enthusiastic crowd, of 
good natured American Admirers. I was 
called upon to respond to a toast, offered to 
America. I do not know whether I did the 
subject justice or not; but I do know that I 
never felt so much like flying in my life as I 
did when I finished; amid a dozen American 
flags, waving in the hands of people who had 
once been our enemies. I hope I will never 


PANAMA CANAL, RAILROADS, ETC. 233 

meet a man who was born and raised in this 
country, whose heart does not palpitate and 
whose brain does not throb when he hears the 
word “America.” A man who does not honor 
his mother and his country is a reprobate, a 
viper and a traitor. Our laws and institu¬ 
tions are far from perfect. These conditions 
were brought about by a few misguided and 
selfish politicians, who are ever catering to 
selfishness, greed and ignorance. But the 
great masses of the people in our land are not 
to be classed with a few cheap politicians, and 
ringsters. The Patriots, the “Minute Men,” 
the bone and sinew of America, stand for 
Honor , Principle , Justice and Equality . Are 
you a member of this brotherhood? 





Chapter XXVIII 
ANIMALS OF THE WEST 

If the Eastern part of the continent of 
America and the Western part had been two 
separate continents, there could have been 
no greater difference between Geological for¬ 
mations, plant and animal life. There are 
to be found a great many animals in the West 
that are not found at all in the East, and vice 
versa. In the Rocky Mountain districts we 
have no red fox, ground-hogs, coon or opossum, 
mink, hoot-owls, martins, or quail, nor South¬ 
ern mocking-birds. We do have a mocking¬ 
bird, whose wings are black and white, barred, 
and which sings almost as sweetly as the 
Southern bird. He comes to see us about the 
15th of May and stays until about the first 
of October. We have a quail that we call the 
California quail. He is more graceful than the 
Bob-white and larger. He has a beautiful 
top-knot or tassel on top of his head, and is 
much darker in color. They go in coveys and 
have the same characteristics as the Bob- 
white. Then we have the raven, chaparral, 
mag-pies, and camp-robber. The raven is 
very black—blacker than the ace of spades, 
and looks very much like the crow, though 
not so big nor so noisy. The chaparral 


ANIMALS OF THE WEST 


235 


is a gray bird and possesses the traits 
and actions of the jay-bird. I think he is a 
first cousin of the jay, and by the way, we have 
no jay in this district. The Magpie is in a 
class by hirnself. He is about twice the size 
of the jay, and his body is almost black with 
sorno white on his neck and wings. He is 
very easily taught to speak, and can make the 
parrot take a back seat in the use of English. 
His morals are not quite so bad, or at any rate 
he does not use cuss words so fluently. The 
Camp-robber infests the foot-hills, and as his 
name implies, he hangs about camps and steals 
the good-things. I think that his stealing 
propensities must be hereditary as all the race 
seem to be addicted to the pilfering habit. If 
he should be arrested for his stealing I think 
that he would make the same plea that a 
society woman does when caught shop-lift¬ 
ing, that he was a kleptomaniac. 

In the animal line the West has more than 
three times as much as the East. Most of the 
Western animals are larger, and a great many 
are dangerous foes of the huntsman. I will 
attempt to enumerate some of them and take 
them up in detail. First there is the bear, 
cougar, mountain-lion, bob-cat, badger, bea¬ 
ver, elk, moose, caribou, deer, mountain-sheep, 
coyote, jack-rabbit, horned-toad, tarantula 
and centipede. Besides these there are others 
too numerous to mention. 





236 


A DRUMMER’S EXPERIENCE 


The bear family in the West probably can 
be divided into three classes, the Black, the 
Silver-tip and the Cinnamon. The black and 
the silver-tip are most commonly met with. 
They inhabit all the Rocky Mountain dis¬ 
trict. Though they are very common, you 
might travel for a month in the mountains 
and not see one except in certain localities. 
They are plentiful in the Jackson Hole coun¬ 
try in Wyoming, in the Yellowstone, and in 
British Columbia. The bear is a great feeder 
and is not very particular about what he eats. 
He will feed on roots and herbs, if forced to 
but he prefers the carcass of a horse or cow. 
They will never attack the grown animals, 
but will sometimes destroy calves and colts. 
He is also fond of American cooking and is 
not particular whether he eats meat or pie 
first. There is one thing sure, if there is any 
honey around he will take it without being 
asked. The bear is not a dangerous animal, 
unless you get him cornered or wound him. 
Then look out, for he can lick the whole 
Mexican army. I would advise you not to 
get familiar with the cubs when the mother 
is around. An uncle of mine once tried 
to kidnap a small cub he found in the 
woods. He picked it up and started for 
home. Of course the cub started to cry and 
the faster he went the harder the cub cried. 
Finally my uncle’s brain got to working. He 


ANIMALS OF THE WEST 


237 


decided that if the old bear came up with him 
his anatomy would not look good when she 
got through with hm. He dropped the cub, 
hurried home and told his father and older 
brothers. They armed themselves and went 
to the spot where the boy had dropped the cub, 
but the mother had been there and carried her 
baby away. The boy is not through patting 
himself yet. 

The cougar is to be found in Oregon, Wash¬ 
ington and British Columbia. He resembles 
the female lion a great deal but is not as large, 
though I have seen one specimen that the 
taxidermist had mounted that was said to 
measure nine feet from tip to tip. They are 
very vicious when hungry or wounded. They 
have some of the characteristics of the pan¬ 
ther inasmuch as they trail their prey, until a 
suitable moment of attack. Now, young 
man, if you think of hunting cougar, before 
you decide on the trip you had better read the 
following story. An old hunter and his 
nephew started on a bear hunt. The snow 
was about six inches deep. They had walked 
for a couple of miles when they found fresh 
bear tracks. It was plain to be seen that there 
were two grown animals and they had walked 
as the Dutchman would say, “ Side by each. ’ 9 
The old hunter after a while began to talk, 
and to caution the young man as to how to 
act in case they came upon the bear suddenly. 






238 


A DRUMMER’S EXPERIENCE 


They followed the tracks for some distance. 
The young man was not talking much. 
Finally the tracks separated. The old hunter 
said to his nephew, “Now, Joe, you take that 
trail and I will take this one, and we will both 
get a bear.” The young man said nothing 
but followed his trail for a hundred yards and 
then he called out to his companion, “Say, 
Uncle, I have lost no bear.” 

The mountain-lion is not as bad as his name 
implies. A couple of good dogs can handle 
him nicely. He will not attempt to fight only 
as a last resort. They are cunning in their 
habits and usually do their prowling at night. 
They seem to be especially fond of colt flesh. 
The ranchers otten complain of their depreda¬ 
tions, perpetrated on young colts and calves. 
They nearly always spring onto the backs of 
the animals and sink their teeth into the flesh 
and tear the ligaments with their claws. Un¬ 
less an animal is pretty strong and fleet of 
foot the lion is mighty apt to get his prey. 
The lion is light brown in color, has a full, 
round head and a body about the size of a full 
grown bulldog. 

Next we will give you a sketch of the bob¬ 
cat. The reason we call him bob, is because 
his tail is very short, being only about 10 in¬ 
ches long; but I want to tell you that the tail 
does no fighting. To be impartial to the cat 
family, the bob-cat, for his size, is in a class 


ANIMALS OF THE WEST 


239 


by himself. He understands the art of fight¬ 
ing early in life and is a Jack Johnson when it 
comes to boxing. He is of a yellowish brown 
color, his eyes are large, and not many things 
escape his notice. To use a familiar ex¬ 
pression he is “Johnny-on-the-spot.” But 
before we exhaust out fight talk let me call 
your attention to the badger. Here is an 
animal that is a pioneer in the West and is no 
tenderfoot; he is wholly unkown in the East. 
I will describe him. He is nearly the color of 
the opossum, being possibly a little darker. 
He is about the size of a spaniel dog, has small 
ears and a fine set of teeth. I have never 
heard of a dentist having a job on his mouth. 
He usually lives in old drift piles or in the 
ground. He does not have to rely on some 
other animal to dig his hole for him, and if 
you attempt to dig him out, you will have to 
work pretty lively or he will dig faster than 
you do, and give you the high-ball. They will 
usually run from you but there are cases where 
they stand pat. I bad a misunderstanding 
with one in Western Texas when I was a young 
man. I happened to be on his right-of-way 
and he would not arbitrate the trouble, but 
proceeded to run his bluff by turning his hair 
the wrong way. and charging double quick on 
the surprised enemy. Well, I thought it time 
to unlimber my artillery; so I proceeded to 
open up skirmish with my six-shooter using 









240 


A DRUMMER’S EXPERIENCE 


the fence as breast-works. About the second 
shot I turned his left wing, and he retreated in 
order without being pursued by me, to his 
barracks in the drift-wood. I did not attack 
his stronghold, as I did not consider my 
forces sufficient to storm the castle, especially 
as I had lost my best freind, General Nerve. 

The beaver is almost a thing of the past in 
the West, he has been hunted more thor¬ 
oughly for his silken hide, and with more 
success, than the honest man, by Diogenes. 
If the beaver ever consults me as to his future 
destiny, I shall advise him to change coats with 
the hedge-hog. In the animal realm as 
well as in the human, it is a bad policy to 
carry your wealth exposed to view. The 
beaver is never seen except in the vicinity of 
water. He takes his bath oftener than the 
average American tramp. This is not the 
only good quality of the beaver. He is a 
mechanic. He can cut down a tree with his 
teeth and the stump will look about as well as 
the work done by a saw and hatchet carpenter. 
I do not know that the beaver carries a Ma¬ 
son’s Union card, but when it comes to daub¬ 
ing he is pretty handy. He should have been 
a mill-wright. A few years ago I saw a dam 
they had built by a mill-site, but I doubt if 
they can build a mill by a —good deal. 

Let us now turn our attention to animals 
who eat grass and are fleet of foot. There is 


ANIMALS OF THE WEST 


241 


the deer that is known in nearly every section 
of America. They are larger in the West 
than in the East. The cause of this is higher 
altitude and the nutritious grass. The grass 
in the West produces larger animals in every 
class than are grown in the South or East. 
Let us diverge here a little to prove this as¬ 
sertion. You can take two calves or colts of 
equal age and vigor at the age of three months, 
and place one of them in Southern Texas and 
take the other to Colorado or Montana. 
Put each on the range and at the age of four 
years, the one that is reared in the North will 
be from two to four hundred pounds heavier 
than the other. In addition to this he will be 
rounded out and have a better coat. The 
deer is rather plentiful in the mountains of 
Colorado, Wyoming and Montana. The open 
season is only ten days in October, but this is 
long enough for a great many of the beauties 
to fall by the work of the deadly Winchester. 
We regret also to note that the huntsman of¬ 
ten pays the penalty of the sport. If I should 
# be called upon to select an animal to represent 
independence and liberty, I would surely se¬ 
lect the mountain sheep. His home is among 
the crags of the Rocky Mountains. He in¬ 
habits the highest peaks, up where the air is 
pure and the scenery fine. If lie were a 
painter he would surely catch the inspiration. 
He drinks from the fountain-head of the 




242 


A DRUMMER’S EXPERIENCE 


purest streams on the globe. He takes his 
meals off the finest and whitest linen that 
was ever spread for a festal board—(the 
snow). He is too much of an aristocrat to 
mingle with the common herd and selects his 
abode high among the castles erected by the 
hand of volcanoes thousands of years ago. 
Here he is safe from his sworn foe, the moun¬ 
tain-lion and the jaguar. And if they should 
approach his snowy couch he needs no burglar 
alarm to awaken him. The State of Colo¬ 
rado has passed laws to protect this emblem 
of the free, from the murderous assaults of 
civilized man. For the information of those 
not acquainted with Western animals I 
will describe the mountain sheep as being 
about six inches taller than the domestic 
sheep, and somewhat the color of a deer, 
though more of a brown. His limbs are light 
and wiry. His general make up is very 
much more like a deer than the sheep. His 
horns resemble the sheep’s considerably, 
being large and curly. 

The coyote is an outcast among animals. 
He occupies the same place in the animal world 
that the vagabond-criminal does in the social 
world of humanity. I do not have to draw- 
on my imagination very much to hear every 
animal in the West say, “Oh, you fraud and 
disgrace to the animal kingdom.” The farm¬ 
ers and ranchers of the West put it even 


ANIMALS OF THE WEST 


243 


stronger. All nature seems to have contempt 
for either man or beast who is a sneak, a pil¬ 
ferer and will not assert himself, unless backed 
by his entire gang. Such is the nature of the 
coyote. He seems to be a cross between a dog 
and a bunch of noise. I may be a little hard 
on the coycte but he was hard on me once. 
About thirty years ago I was in Jones County, 
Texas. I had lost some horses, and was out 
trying to find them. I got badly lost, and 
after traveling until about 10 P. M. I gave up 
all hope of finding them, or being able to locate 
a ranch house. I had been riding all day, had 
eaten no lunch and saw no prospects for sup¬ 
per; so I decided in justice to myself and horse, 
to strike camp. I removed my saddle and 
blanket; and tied my horse to a small tree, 
made up a fire, and laid down to sleep. But 
no, the ever prowling coyote was on his job. 
They came in pairs and by dozens. They sur¬ 
rounded me, they snarled, barked and howled 
and fought one another all that night, some¬ 
times coming close enough to the fire that I 
could see their demon eyes gleaming in the 
darkness. Tney made such a rough-house 
that my horse could not stand it. He broke 
loose and left me to face the howling mob 
alone. When daylight at last came, I found 
myself 15 miles from human habitation and 
a saddle and blanket to pack on my back. 
Since that night I have had no particular love 








244 


A DRUMMER S EXPERIENCE 


for a coyote. He is a cheat, a coward, an 
outcast. 

While I am sore on a coyotel admire a jack- 
rabbit. He is a gentleman, and a good judge 
of the speed of a gray-hound, and an all 
round sport when it comes to high-jumping 
and a foot-race. A man that cannot enjoy a 
jack-rabbit hunt is mentally unbalanced and 
is not fit to go in the best society. Our friend 
Jack is taller than a cat and sometimes as 
much as eighteen inches long. He will weigh 
from eight to ten pounds. His habits are 
something like those of the hare of the South¬ 
ern States, though he runs altogether different. 
When he first gets up he is likely to carry his 
body at something of an angle from you. He 
does this so that he can keep an eye on you. 
He goes in bounds and jumps, (irregular run¬ 
ning). By this method of running he figures 
that you cannot get a bead on him; and he is 
generally right. A tenderfoot going for his 
first jack-rabbit hunt should take a pocket 
full of shells, but need not take an extra 
man along to carry the game. The real 
sport is to get three or four gray hounds 
after the light-footed gentleman. Then 
there will be something doing. He will 
go at forty miles an hour for a few hundred 
yards and then if the dogs press him too tight 
he will stop suddenly and let them run over 
him. Then quick as a flash he is gone in 


ANIMALS OF THE WEST 


245 


another direction. A well trained hound 
sometimes takes him unawares. As the Jack 
squats to dodge, the hound drops his nose 
under him and knocks the jack in the air, and 
before the jack reaches the ground again the 
hound has him in his mouth. Talk about 
sport—you never had any! 

The horned-toad is another of my pets. 
If the society women knew how cute and clean 
the horned-toad is they would sell their nasty, 
woolly dogs; and invest the proceeds in honi¬ 
ed-toads. This little animal ssems a biped. (I 
hardly know where to class him). He seems 
to be a cross between a lizard and a toad. He 
has the head of a toad but crawls on four 
legs and has a tail. Down the whole length 
of his vertebrae he has short horns varying 
in length from one-quarter to one-sixteenth of 
an inch. He is easily tamed and is not med¬ 
dlesome; and when it comes to fasting he can 
put Dr. Tanner and all the lesser lights out of 
business. I caught one once and put him in 
my buggy. He would ride beside me for 
hours and enjoy the scenery. Of all the com¬ 
panions I ever had he was the most temperate. 
He would seldom eat anything and was a total 
abstainer when it came to drinking. 

Now I will introduce you to a few varieties 
of insects. Possibly you have heard of the 
tarantula. This is a large spider and is very 
poisonous. Some wonderful stories are told 








246 


A DRUMMER’S EXPERIENCE 


of him in the South-west. Some of the natives 
will tell you that he can jump farther than a 
jack-rabbit, in order to fasten his deadly 
fangs into your flesh. Others will tell you 
that the flesh will mortify and drop out in a 
few hours. With every dose of this informa¬ 
tion you should take a large pinch of salt. 
There is no question but that he is poisonous; 
but even the devil is not as black as he is 
painted. 

Before I close I want to tell you something 
about the centipede. This is a worm, from 
three to five inches long and about as large as 
your little finger. It is of a darkish brown 
color on its back and light yellow on its belly. 
It is often called the “thousand-leg,” on ac¬ 
count of its great number of legs. At any 
rate it ought to be able to navigate without 
much trouble, even if it should happen to have 
corns on a few dozen of its feet. This worm 
is quite poisonous. It is said that each of its 
feet are provided with a poisonous claw. 
These claws are supposed to prick the flesh 
as they crawl over the body. They are nearly 
always found in old timber-piles, straw-piles 
and damp places. We often get them in 
bunches of bananas that are shipped to the 
United States. I have never heard of any¬ 
one being dangerously hurt by this insect. I 
think that he is a bluff; displaying his thou¬ 
sand weapons as a bad man does his gun. 



Park Scene, Seattle, Wash. 

























Chapter XXIX 

THE DRUMMER’S WIFE 

Charley Boyd was as fine a specimen of 
manhood as you would meet in a year. Age 
about 26, five feet and ten inches in height, 
a rather dark complexion and weighing some¬ 
where around 180. He had a dignified air, 
and a keen black eye; and was quick and im¬ 
pulsive in action. He seemed to be a favorite 
with everybody, though very few people knew 
his last name. He went by the name of 
Charles Toby. Why this was so, I never 
knew. He got so accustomed to the name, 
that he would sometimes register at the hotels 
under it, for a joke. 

Charley was employed by a wholesale gro¬ 
cery firm to travel out of Portland. He had 
now been on the road some five years; and was 
known by every hack-driver and newsboy on 
his route; and they would call, “ Hello, Toby !” 
as far as they could see him. Charley’s family 
lived in the state of Washington in a small 
town about eighty miles from Portland; and 
he visited them as often as it was possible for 
him to do; but there were weeks when he 
could not, and often when it was impossible 
to get home, he would write his wife to meet 
him with the baby at a certain town, on a 


THE DRUMMER’S WIFE 


249 


certain day. This appointment his wife al¬ 
ways tried to keep, as they were much devoted 
to each other. His wife, after a while, learned 
the days on which he would be at certain 
towns, and she would write him there, and he 
never failed to answer her letters. He was 
heard to say that he corresponded with the 
best woman in the state and often met her 
by appointment. This could have meant 
that Charley had “a girl on the string,” but 
it did not; it was his way of speaking of the 
dark-haired little housekeeper, who cared for 
his darling baby boy, which occupied his 
thoughts more than any other human being. 
So much did he desire to be at home, that he 
had often determined to quit the road and 
settle in his home town, in some small business. 
But it seemed that he could never come to the 
point of giving up his job, as it was bringing 
in the necessities of life for his little family. 

The last week in August, 1910, found Char¬ 
ley on his long route; and it would be impossi¬ 
ble to get home this week. But a queer 
anxiety and dread seemed to come over his 
darling wife, Grace; it seemed that she had 
never wanted to see his manly form so badly 
in all her life. At last she decided that she 

would meet him at the town of X-. She 

had heard Charley refer to the hotel he usually 
stopped at in that town; although she had 
never before been there herself. Leaving the 


250 


A DRUMMER’S EXPERIENCE 


baby with a friend, which was a thing she had 
never done before; she took the train that 

would put her in X-about 4 P.M. When 

she arrived in the town she went straight to the 
hotel to see if Charley was registered there, 
but on looking over the register found that he 
was not. She then asked to see the hotel mail, 
thinking possibly his house had written to him 
there. In this, too, she was disappointed, but 
her feminine quickness of sight had caught 
the familiar name of “Mr. Toby ” on an envel¬ 
ope, and it was in a woman’s handwriting, and 
carried a suggestion of dainty refinement. 

Do you ask what she did? You should 
know that! Yes, she took the letter and put 
it in her pocket-book, registered under a 
fictitious name and asked for a room. 

It seemed that the elevator would never get 
to the third floor; and that the porter was an 
age in unlocking the door. At last she was 
alone, and wild thoughts flew through her 
brain like flashes of lightning. Must she tear 
the envelope open and read the message, then 
address another envelope to Mr. Toby in a 
disguised hand? No, that would never do, 
the letter had a cancelled stamp on it, and 
was postmarked u Aug. 25th,” these she could 
not replace, nor would she be able to put it 
through the postoffice in time for delivery 
that day. She would contrive to break the 
seal. 



THE DRUMMER’S WIFE 


251 


With a wet towel and a trembling hand she 
proceeded to dampen the envelope. At last, 
after what seemed an age, she found the flap 
beginning to loosen. So eager was she to get 
it open, that she tore the envelope slightly. 
With fear and trembling she extracted the per¬ 
fumed note, and her worst fears were realized, 
some designing woman had become infatuated 
with her husband. The letter read: 

“Mr. C. Toby. 

Dear Sir: You will possibly be surprised 
to get this note. It is from an old admirer 
of yours. Have tried to get an introduc¬ 
tion to you but failed. I can assure you 
that I am of good family, and as for my 
looks, you will have to decide that point for 
yourself when you see me. 

At. 7:15 Thursday evening I shall pass 
the big oak tree in the park. Will have an 
umbrella, and wear a black veil. 

I am, Honorably yours, 

J. T.” 

When through reading, Grace dropped the 
letter in her lap, exhausted, paralyzed. What 
could she do, what must she do! Charles is 
likely to come at any moment, and may recog¬ 
nize her writing on the hotel register. Though 
the name is a false one; she fears she was 
too much excited to effectively disguise her 
handwriting. Must she destroy the letter, 


252 


A DRUMMER’S EXPERIENCE 


and say nothing to Charles about it? By so 
doing, she can protect him for the time being 
against the wiles of the adventuress. But 
would she not cross his path again? A woman 
who has her eyes on a man for three years, 
would not be so easily discouraged. 

Grace finally decided that as she was on the 
ground, she would protect her own interests, 
and to try the fidelity of her husband she 
would not interfere, but would watch proceed¬ 
ings. She replaced the letter in the envelope 
and sealed it, then called the bellboy, gave 
him the letter, and told him to put it back in 
the hotel mail, as she had taken it by mistake. 

It was not a minute too soon. As she lis¬ 
tened to the boy’s steps descending the stairs, 
she stepped to the window and looked out. 
The hotel bus bad just backed up to the curb 
and was unloading its passengers. The sec¬ 
ond man to alight was Charles. He was 
jollying the porters, and saying hello to every¬ 
body. Looking down from the window, half 
concealed by the lace curtain, Grace thought 
she had never seen Charles look so manly; but 
in a moment he passed from sight into the 
hotel. Now, in her imagination, she could see 
him grasp the letter and tear it open, but what 
is that expression that comes over his face? 
She cannot discern it. 

Charles registered, looked over the mail 
hurriedly, and sat down. He seemed to be 


THE DRUMMER’S WIFE 


253 


ill at ease, nervous, consulted his watch two or 
three times. At last, jumping up, he took his 
small sample case and went out through the 
side door. He was gone until 6:20 o’clock, 
when he came in and washed in the public 
lavatory, instead of going to his room, which 
was very unusual for him to do. He said 
nothing to anyone, but went in to dinner. 
Coming out later on, he looked at his watch 
twice in succession; it was 7:05 P. M. He 
bought a couple of cigars, and strolled leisurely 
out through the side door, headed for the park. 

Grace figured all the afternoon as to how she 
should proceed. It was not hard for her to 
decide that she would be on hand at the big 
oak tree at the appointed time; but how should 
she act!' Could she control herself? Yes; she 
would be as calm as a sphinx! She thought 
how lucky it was that she had worn a dress 
Charley had never seen, and a veil, too, some¬ 
thing she had not worn for years. As the 
hours wore on, she became more restless. She 
would have given her life almost, to have seen 
her husband’s face. She felt that if she could 
get one glance at him, she could detect his mo¬ 
tives, and judge whether or not he would keep 
the appointment 

As soon as it began to get dusk, Grace stole 
down the backstairs, and out through the gar¬ 
den walk. When she arrived at the park she 
had no difficulty in locating the big oak; and 


254 


A DRUMMER’S EXPERIENCE 


within thirty feet of the tree, she found a 
settee nestling among the lilacs. She had 
been there but a few minutes when she saw a 
man coming down the walk toward her, and 
as he approached, she easily recognized the 
walk of Charles. She yearned to speak, to 
warn him of his danger, to remind him of his 
duty; but no, this would not do, she must play 
the game. Charles walked within fifteen 
feet of her, with only a glance in her direction. 
But Grace felt that she could not look at him, 
so turned her head and Charles walked on. 
He proceeded down the main walk until he 
arrived at the big oak tree. Here the paths 
forked. He took the righthand one, and was 
gone out of sight for some two minutes, then 
returned over the same path in the direction 
of the tree, but just before reaching it his at¬ 
tention was attracted by the appearance of a 
fine, high-powered automobile, running rather 
fast, and which stopped suddenly near the gate 
at the end of the walk leading to the tree. The 
wheels had scarcely stopped turning, when a 
woman dressed in black, and wearing a heavy 
veil, stepped from the running-board and the 
car moved off at a good pace. She stopped for 
a second and looked around, as though not 
knowing in which direction to proceed, or as 
if looking for someone. 

By this time, Charles had reached the big 
oak, and turned down the walk toward the 


THE DRUMMER’S WIFE 


255 


woman in black. She immediately came for¬ 
ward to meet him, swinging her parasol. Just 
as they were about to meet, Charles stopped 
and seemed to be feeling in his pockets for 
something. She also came to a stop. 

“Good evening, Mr. Toby,” she said, with 
a significant laugh. 

“Good evening,” answered Charley, at the 
same time succeeding in locating a match, for 
which he had been searching through his 
pockets. He scratched the match and pro¬ 
ceeded to light his cigar. In the meantime 
the woman was talking rather excitedly. 
When Charles struck the match she made an 
effort to cover her face, but not until Charley 
had caught her eye. As the light fell on his 
face she stepped back with an exclamation: 

“Why, this is not Mr. Toby!” 

“Yes; that is what I am generally called,” 
said Charles. 

“Did you get a note from a lady this after¬ 
noon?” 

“No, madam.” 

“Then how came you here?” 

“Taking a walk.” 

Just at this instant another gentleman arriv¬ 
ed; and seeing that Charles had his cigar going 
asked for a light; but instead Charley gave nim 
a match. All the while the stranger kept his 
eye on the woman; and as he struck the match 
she gave a sign of recognition, at the same 


256 


A DRUMMER’S EXPERIENCE 


time remarking that the two men looked con¬ 
siderably alike. The affable stranger remark¬ 
ed, that the resemblance was in some part 
undoubtedly due to the starlight, at the same 
time handing Charles his card. Now as this 
was an evening for striking matches, Charles 
struck one to examine the card. It read, “ J. 
C. Toby.” He passed it to the woman, and 
as he felt that he might be an intruder he 
strolled slowly away, and out of sight, while 
the real Mr. Toby and the woman departed 
in the opposite direction. 

Grace had watched the whole proceeding, 
as only a woman can watch, but the gathering 
darkness of the evening had prevented her 
from telling one man Irom the other. But 
insane jealousy told her the man with the wo¬ 
man was her husband. She peered into the 
darkness, clinging desperately to the rustic 
seat with both hands. She found herself 
springing to her feet and raising the seat as 
though she would use it for a weapon to crush 
the usurper of her home and happiness. Her 
breath came in gasps, the cold sweat stood 
upon her forehead; she trembled, not with 
fear, but an overwhelming rage and anxiety. 
Should she follow them? No; she would rely 
on the fidelity of her husband! He had never 
proved untrue in the past; and she believed in 
him now, even with appearances against him. 
Just then she could see the pair turn into a 


THE DRUMMER’S WIFE 


257 


sheltered cove some three hundred feet away 
and take a seat on a bench. They had not 
sat there more than fifteen minutes when a 
large man, carrying a heavy cane in his hand, 
entered the scene down a blind pathway. He 
was walking slowly and seemed to be peering 
into every nook and corner on both sides of 
the path. At last he reached the cross-walks 
and turned in the direction of the man and 
woman. 

The newcomer's strange behavior attracted 
Grace's attention and she at once grew sus¬ 
picious of his motives. Who could he be, she 
wondered. Possibly the father of the woman 
in black, or, it might be, a lover. Crazed 
with jealousy and seeking vengeance, she did 
not have to wait long to learn his mission. 
In a moment he had spied the couple, half- 
hidden in the bower. He stopped and listened 
intently. He seemed to crouch like a lion 
before its spring. Grace's heart stopped 
beating. WTat was about to happen! Charley 
trapped with another man's wife or mistress! 

At last the man spoke. His tone was one 
of anger, sarcasm and defiance all in one. 
Instantly the woman in black sprang to her 
feet and faced about, arms in the air and out¬ 
stretched toward the approaching man, plead¬ 
ing dumbly for mercy. He repelled her 
savagely. 

“Sit down—you!" he roared, with a threat- 


258 


A DRUMMER’S EXPERIENCE 


ening gesture. He seemed struggling to con¬ 
trol his feelings, his voice was not loud but 
intense. The woman dropped on her knees 
at his feet, begging and pleading for her life 
and her companion’s life. She endeavored to 
shield herself by saying that her escort was 
an old schoolmate she had not seen for years. 

“Ah, is that so? Then you have been 
separated for a long time!” 

The man pulled from his pocket an auto¬ 
matic revolver of latest pattern, “I will give 
you both a chance to live together in another 
world,” he announced. 

The woman’s companion up to this point 
had said nothing. He seemed paralyzed, 
dumfounded, petrified in his seat. When he 
was able to talk he tried to explain. But his 
antagonist would listen to nothing. He vowed 
vengeance—immediate vengeance—on the 
woman and her paramour, who had wrecked 
his life. The woman, now grown hysterical, 
flung herself into her companion’s arms and 
cried to him to intercede for her. 

“Save me! save me!” she begged. Then, 
as if the idea had just occurred to her—“ Offer 
him money to spare our lives; he will do any¬ 
thing for money! Offer him five thousand 
dollars! I know him; you can buy him, but 
you cannot scare him. Act! Act quick, for 
your life! Nothing can pacify him but 
money!” 


THE DRUMMER’S WIFE 


259 


This last appeal came distinctly to Grace’s 
ears. Like a tigress from her lair, she sprang 
forward to save the honor of her family, and 
to intercede for the life of her husband, who 
now appeared to her as a martyr to a woman’s 
guile. As she bounded forward, Charles, as 
she believed it to be, began to talk and beg 
for leniency. Grace stopped suddenly within 
ten feet of where the man and woman stood. 
That was not Charley’s voice she heard! She 
was beside herself. She said nothing, but 
looked on in wonder. 

The aggressor, not daunted in the least, 
seemed to assume a more defiant air than 
ever, and said in a sneering voice: 

“Vengeance is sweet!” 

Just then another figure appeared, a stal¬ 
wart, manly form. With firm tread he 
entered from the underbrush twenty feet 
away. As he approached he said: 

“What are you trying to pull off here?” 

The big man with the stick and gun, now 
in a towering rage, raised the hand holding 
the gun and shouted: 

“I propose to protect the honor of my 
family and the dignity of a gentleman!” 

As the man’s hand came to a level, Charles 
struck his wrist with a small cane he carried, 
then grabbing the gun with his left hand he 
wrenched it out of the man’s grasp. As he 
did so, he remarked: 


260 


A DRUMMER’S EXPERIENCE 


“You are a bit too nervous, my boy; you 
might let that go off accidentally, you know.” 

The big man now turned on Charley. 

“Sir; why do you protect a villian like 
this, who has destroyed my home and honor, 
by robbing me of my wife?” 

Charley laid his hand on the man’s shoulder 
and spoke: 

“Your wife is easily stolen,” he said. “Your 
honor needs mending and your proper home 
is in the Pen. You may now take a walk to 
the police station.” Turning to Mr. J. C. 
Toby, he continued: 

“If you have any money to donate you can 
use it to prosecute a pair of blackmailers.” 

“I will do it, Mr. Boyd! I have the letter 
in my pocket written by this sorceress.” 

At this juncture Grace stepped up and pull¬ 
ing aside her veil said: 

“Charley, you’re a brick! There isn’t an¬ 
other man like you west of the Rockies!” 


Chapter XXX 

INFLUENCE 

Humanity! Humanity! How unfathomable! 
A freak of nature! Of the billions of people 
who have lived on the earth no two alike, 
each having certain characteristics different 
from all the rest; and to think that most of 
these peculiarities are inherent; came with 
us into the world, are a part of our being, 
therefore are uncontrollable to a great extent. 
There are certain characteristics in lower 
animal life that are common to its kind. 
Instinct is controlled by certain fixed prin¬ 
ciples. When you understand how to con¬ 
trol or influence the instinct in one lion, you 
have the subject mastered. You know what 
will control all other lions. This is not so 
with man. When you have learned the dis¬ 
position of one man, you are far from knowing 
the disposition of other men. If you want 
to get the good will of a cat, rub it on the 
back. (Be sure and rub the way the fur 
lies.) Do not pull his whiskers or twist his 
tail: In five minutes time you have made a 
friend of the cat, and it will follow you any¬ 
where you wish. Pat Rover on the head and 
give him a piece of meat and he will be your 


262 


A DRUMMER’S EXPERIENCE 


faithful dog. Give the pigeon grain, and he 
will always come home to roost; but in deal¬ 
ing with your mule, you must employ dif¬ 
ferent tactics. You must let him know that 
you are boss, although you only weigh 150 
lbs., you must let him know that you can lick 
a mule that weighs 1,000 lbs. Stand on your 
dignity, do net get familiar with him, never 
offer to shake hands with his rear extremity. 
He does not require much petting or attention. 
I had one that you could not curry with a 
comb and brush. The only thing I ever used 
on him was, the sharp prongs of a pitchfork. 

The humane society may understand about 
dogs, cats and horses, but they have gotten 
hold of the wrong treatise on muleology. It 
is not such a difficult matter for a man to tame 
a lion. He has only instinct to combat. Now 
he can take the advantage of instinct, by out¬ 
witting it by reason; but you enter a different 
field entirely when you attempt to influence 
or control man. Here you come into con¬ 
tact with millions of traits of character and 
disposition; while in the lower animals there 
is only one trait for each family. In addition 
to these varied traits and dispositions in 
man, you have to encounter and deal with his 
reason, which is equal to yours, and is ever 
ready to assert its independence. Here is a 
test between two Damascus blades. Now the 
victory, lies trembling in the balance, waiting 
to be claimed by the most valiant warrior. 


INFLUENCE 


263 


The game of life is not so much with events, 
as it is with man. Your influence and stand¬ 
ing with man is worth more to you than a 
house and lot on Broadway. 

Influence and prestige will put you in a 
position to rule the world. Without influence, 
you are nothing more than a grain of sand on 
the sea shore, lost in the multitude. Having 
no individuality means relegated to oblivious 
filling space, and killing time; an ideal job 
for an imbecile. To be something in the 
world, to represent a principle, to be honored 
and loved by our fellow man, is the desire of 
all rational, law abiding people. To attain 
this influence, requires patient study and 
tact. If you had only one man to deal with, 
or one class of men, then it w r ould not be so 
hard; but when you have to come in contact 
with hundreds and thousands of men, to get 
the good-will and esteem of all, or even a ma¬ 
jority, requires some thought and policy on 
your part. When you have pleased one man 
that is no reason you have pleased his brother. 
When you understand one woman, that is no 
reason that you understand her mother! 
When you can control one man, it is no 
criterion that you can control a regiment. 
Some people you can drive with a bull-whip, 
others you can lead with a string, while some 
will not stand hitched with a log chain. The 
only way to work this fellow is, to give him 
plenty of rope and let him tangle himself. 


264 


A DRUMMER’S EXPERIENCE 


Feed him on the hole in the doughnut for a 
while, and he will follow you like Mary’s 
Little Lamb. Other people are like the cat, 
you can control them by petting them; others 
like the dog, you can manage by bragging on 
them, and making much of them. Some like 
the mule, you must let them know you are 
boss. Others like the lion, while they have 
great strength, they are keeping quiet, but 
they have an eye on you. You can control 
these also by making a friend of them, and 
treating them with respect, but do not impose 
upon their dignity, or reflect upon their 
strength. These kind of people are strong 
friends, or powerful foes. They may not 
live in mansions but they have an inner court 
that is their castle, and you must respect it, 
if you would control their influence and re¬ 
spect, do not attempt to flatter them. They 
deal in the more substantial things of life. 

Courtesy, respect and good judgment, on 
your part, will win the battle if anything will. 
If the friendship of a shallow egotist is worth 
anything to you, it is easy to obtain. All 
you have to do is to brag on him and agree 
with his ideas, and he will think you are the 
nicest fellow in the land. The friendship of 
the common classes of man can be gained by 
congeniality, and by showing them that you 
appreciate their society. People do not like 
to have their social standing, or honor re- 


INFLUENCE 


265 


fleeted on. More enemies can be made in an 
hour by haughty carriage and reflection, than 
friends can be made in a year by kindness. 
There are two classes of people you do not 
want the friendship of, one is a liar, the other 
is a hypocrite. They will both betray you, 
one leaving you to ridicule, the other poison¬ 
ing your influence for good. Here are two 
classes of people you should make a study of; 
they are the coyotes of society, a demon in dis¬ 
guise, the offscouring of the earth, the scab 
of humanity. If I knew a more degrading 
name to call them, I would surely apply it. 
They deserve the contempt of all respectable 
people. 

Do not imagine for a moment that you can 
buy friendship that will ever earn a dividend. 
Friendship that is for sale is inflated with gas, 
but has no ballast to hold it steady. To be 
able to influence the world and draw them to 
you, you must be a magnet, you must keep 
your batteries charged with a solution of 
kindness, good-will, cheerfulness and candor; 
now pack your batteries in a box of firmness; 
then attach the electric wire of progress to the 
magneto of consistency, all to be run by the 
dynamo of energy, and fed by the fuel of 
equity. This machinery with very little at¬ 
tention should run in foul as well as fair 
weather, and at all times produce a spark to 
electrify your circle, and attract the admira¬ 
tion of your fellow-men. 







Park Scene, Victoria, B. C 













Chapter XXXI 
SELF RELIANCE 

Man’s success or failure depends upon his 
will-power and self-reliance. You cannot show 
me in the annals of history, a single case, 
where man has ever achieved the object of 
his ambition, and made a record that is worth 
referring to, who was not a man of self-re¬ 
liance, and had implicit faith in himself as a 
“doer.” If you have this confidence in your 
ability to accomplish, you are not afraid to 
take hold. When you lay your plans you feel 
assured that you will succeed. Why will you 
succeed? Because your implicit confidence 
gives you ability and prestige. The self- 
confident man has a defiant air, a bearing that 
sweeps away opposition. 

Self-confidence is not egotism in any form. 
The egotist is going to do something tomorrow , 
or as soon as he completes his plans; the 
self-confident man is doing his work today. 
If not actually engaged in performance of 
the task, he is laying his plans, finding out 
what effect certain causes will produce. Your 
cause must be as clearly defined, and as power¬ 
ful as the effect. Well matured plans are 
half the battle. 



268 


A DRUMMER’S EXPERIENCE 


Man has the power within himself to control 
his thoughts as he controls his actions. Before 
you can be a master of circumstances you 
must master yourself. Learn to direct your 
thoughts to a specific end. Having the 
ability to control your thoughts and actions, 
all you lack to make a success is self-con¬ 
fidence. Learn that, and you have the power 
within you to accomplish, and to perfect, 
deeds that at first seem impossible. 

Confidence is the forerunner of success; it 
paves the way, and carries the torches, that 
light our feet on the road to accomplishment. 
The man who paints the church spire must 
have confidence in himself before he starts. 
The man who assumes control of a manu¬ 
facturing plant, must have faith in his ability 
or he will never succeed. You must believe 
in yourself before others will believe in you. 

The man who has not fully made up his 
mind to carry a proposition through to the 
end had better not attempt ifc at all. If he 
does, it will not measure up to his expectations. 
All great deeds have their inception first in 
the mind and the self-will to accomplish, the 
cause for producing the effect is within you 
and not without. What you accomplish is 
yours, when it is conceived in the mind. The 
act of accomplishment is only the carrying 
out of preconceived decisions. What you ac¬ 
complish is only the physical demonstration 


SELF RELIANCE 


269 


of the conception, and development of the 
deed, wrought in the mind. 

Faith in one’s self is the portal to ac¬ 
complishments. Faith is an intuitive prompt¬ 
ing to duty. Self-reliant faith knows no op¬ 
position. A man who is not self-reliant is to 
be pitied. You meet men everywhere who are 
afraid of their judgment on the most trivial 
things. They ask advice of every one they 
meet, getting a different answer from each. 
Then they are afraid to take the advice of any 
individual for fear of his judgment. Such 
people are like a ship without a rudder, sub¬ 
ject to every wind that blows. I know a man 
who bought an automobile. After getting it 
home he lost his nerve, and was afraid to 
trust himself to run it, but was not afraid for 
his wife to sit behind the wheel. I knew a 
family of boys who allowed their sister to 
transact the business of the farm. 

We know not our powers until we try them. 
It is your imperative duty to think more of 
yourself; you can never succeed until you 
have faith in yourself, and back up your faith 
by your exertions. If you have not been as 
successful as you would wish, place the blame 
where it belongs; on your lack of confidence 
and nerve to execute your plans. Never think 
that you are incapacitated to do a certain 
work. Preparation and determination is more 
than half the accomplishment. You have a 


270 


A DRUMMER S EXPERIENCE 


part in life to play, take your position and 
play the game to win. A self-confident man 
can be picked out in a crowd at a glance; the 
people give way for hirn to pass. You have 
heard remarks like this: “Everything he 
touches turns to gold.” That is so, but why 
is it so? Because he had aspirations, he also 
had the determination and the confidence in 
himself, to put them into execution. 

Water never rises higher than its fountain¬ 
head; man never accomplishes more than he 
undertakes. Hannibal would never have 
crossed the Alps had he not conceived the 
idea and put it into execution. The Panama 
canal is a grand success after repeated failures. 
All persons who have invented and perfected 
great designs that have astonished the world 
have been men who had great faith in them¬ 
selves. The most of our inventions have had 
to fight their way to the front, after having 
been put on the market; the promoters spend¬ 
ing thousands of dollars to educate the people 
to the advantages of the device. This took 
infinite faith and much money. The man who 
does things must have confidence in himself 
and throw his whole soul into the work. When 
you put your hand to the plow, do not turn 
back. 

Intensity and determination create en¬ 
thusiasm; enthusiasm begets success. We 
often see boys accomplishing more physical 



Steel Works, Pueblo, Colo. 





















272 


A DRUMMER’S EXPERIENCE 


labor than men. It is their confidence that 
wins the battle. Self-confidence has won 
more battles than strength ever did. Set 
about a thing with such determination and 
defiance that by your confidence you disarm 
opposition. The man with self-reliance car¬ 
ries the sword in one hand, victory in the 
other. When you have succeeded in a few 
difficult trials, your courage is multiplied, your 
victory is assured. Get the thought out of 
your mind that you are a pygmy and a back 
number. 

It is well enough to listen to advice, if it is 
not prompted by self-interest. You might 
do as the man did who wished to build a 
house. His neighbors naturally wanted to 
furnish advice as to where to locate it. After 
all of them had made their suggestions he 
frankly told them that he would put it where 
he pleased. 

Self-confidence, backed by good judgment, 
is a mine of wealth that will develop untold 
riches, and give its possessor standing and 
prestige second to none. 


Chapter XXXII 
CITY VS. COUNTRY 

The city man is an artist when it comes to 
figuring. He can use up one lead pencil and 
half a quire of foolscap paper each week, es¬ 
timating the great profits he could make if he 
only had a ranch. He could keep one hundred 
hens, each hen laying an egg per day, 3,000 
eggs a month at three cents each, or thirty- 
six cents a dozen—nobody would kick on 
that price—$90.00 a month. He could have 
five acres in apple trees, each of which would 
surely bear five boxes of apples, and he is 
certain he can get $1.00 a box wholesale, be¬ 
cause he remembers very distinctly that he 
paid $2.10 for those Jonathans last winter. 
Now, to be sure, he will only figure 150 trees 
to the acre. This would net him $750 an 
acre, or $3,750 for the five acres. And the 
labor for picking those apples would amount 
to scarcely nothing at all. He could haul 
them to town himself and not work very hard 
either. Then he could plant five acres in 
sugar beets, and at a conservative estimate, 
raise 18 tons to the acre. He knows this to 
be correct, because he saw the statement in a 
prospectus sent out by a land company. The 




274 


A DRUMMER’S EXPERIENCE 


sugar factories pay $5.00 a ton for these beets. 
He knows that to be so, for a man told him 
that was what he got. Well, these five 
acres in sugar beets will bring him $450; 
and he is sure the sugar beet business would 
suit him, for he has four boys that are the 
right age to do the thinning and hoeing. Then 
he will plant five acres in Irish potatoes 
(spuds) and these will yield 450 bushels to 
the acre. This fact he learned from a folder 
sent out by a real estate firm, and they would 
not dare print a statement that was not 
correct. On the five acres planted to po¬ 
tatoes he gets 2,250 bushels, which are worth 
$1.00 a bushel or a total of $2,250. That is 
not so bad! 

Now he has only five acres in apples, five 
in sugar beets, and five in potatoes—why that 
is only fifteen acres all told, he and the boys 
could cultivate that easy , and not work over 
four hours a day. The eggs, apples, sugar 
beets and potatoes will bring in $7,530 a 
year. That beats $60 a month, and going to 
work every morning at 8 a. m. Then besides 
that, he could have strawberries right off the 
vine, and pure milk and butter from a real 
Jersey cow; and if the weather is bad or he 
happens to feel tough, he don’t have to go to 
work at all; and no fear of losing his job 
either. Then there is another thing not 
figured in—the calf that Bossy would raise. 


CITY VS. COUNTRY 


275 


This could be sold for, oh, I don't know just 
how much. From the price we pay for steak 
at the butcher-shop, the calf at a year old 
should bring $45. 

Again, on a farm there is another thing 
that cuts a big figure in a man’s living ex¬ 
penses. Clothing amounts to practically noth¬ 
ing on the farm; a pair of overalls and one 
suspender every six months is all he needs. 

You need not talk to him about farmers not 
making money. 11 grows on them like moss on 
a tree. When he gets on that farm he will not 
be thrown out of work every time the walking 
delegate wants to boost his salary; and he 
certainly is getting awful tired of having the 
boss tell him what to do. He don’t see any 
reason why he cannot be boss himself for a 
spell. He knows of a 25-acre farm that he 
can buy for $75 an acre, and pay for it from 
the first year’s crop; besides having plenty 
left over to run the family till next season. 
He knows his calculations are correct because 
he has gone over thrni a half dozen times and 
compared the figures with the prices that eggs, 
apples and potatoes sell for in town. He is 
going to give up his job right away, and strike 
for the country, where the air is pure, the wild 
rose blooms and the singing birds will cheer 
him on his way. 

The farmer has inoculated himself with the 
bacteria just the same, and his fever is 105. 


276 


A DRUMMER’S EXPERIENCE 


Unless a doctor is called pretty soon he will 
be out of his head. He wants better schools 
for his children—he has four girls and three 
boys. He knows the girls would make good 
school teachers and stenographers and each 
could earn at least $80 per month. Two of 
the boys could get positions as bank clerks, 
and the third would make a good politician— 
he alone should then be able to keep up the 
whole family. If he is any good at grafting 
he could give all the rest of the family jobs 
under himself. The farmer himself feels pretty 
sure he could hold down the job as mayor of 
the town, which does not require much gray 
matter. 

ISJow, the four girls will earn $320 a month, 
while he himself and the three boys could 
earn at least $100 each, making a grand total 
of $720 a month, or $8,640 a year. No pesky 
calf to feed, no cow to milk in the rain, no 
hogs to swill—what do you think of that, 
Susie, my girl? 

“That’s right, Dad, and we could buy an 
auto and have a good time. I and the other 
girls would help to pay for it out of our 
salaries. It is awful hard on us girls to have 
to stay out here and never see anything.” 

Now here is a good chance for an oculist 
to get in his work, and fit each family with 
glasses that have the right focus, and that 
gives to each man’s job a rose color. It may 


CITY VS. COUNTRY 


111 


be possible that he will have to call in a 
physician to diagnose the case and give some 
powders to reduce the fever. I hate to see a 
man take a header, unless he knows how deep 
the water is. I saw that farm myself that the 
city man was thinking of buying. It may be 
that I was there at the wrong time of the year , 
but I got the tip pretty straight from the 
farmer’s wife, that it was moulting season 
with the chickens, and so she hadn’t got an 
egg in three months. She had paid $9.00 
for feed in that time, and her husband com¬ 
plained that the chickens had destroyed a half 
acre of wheat by tearing down the shocks. 
The old man told me on the quiet that a late 
frost had killed the apple crop in the bloom. 
He showed me where he had planted some 
sugar beets in the spring, but the ground 
baked so hard and the seeds were so poor; 
he didn’t get a good stand. He had 
plowed them twice, and hoed once, but last 
week he had decided to turn the pigs in and 
let them eat what there was of the crop. He 
said he thought he would have enough potatoes 
to do him , if he could keep his neighbor’s hogs 
out of the patch. 

After thinking over the proposition, I have 
come to the conclusion that the city man was 
color-blind. He thought he saw roses on this 
ranch. The nearest thing to roses that I 
saw, was a bunch of cactus. 





278 


A DRUMMER’S EXPERIENCE 


The country man asked me if I had ever 
lived in town. I answered that I had. 

“How do you like it?” 

I told him that I did not care to talk about 
my neighbors, and, in fact, that I did not have 
many, that I only knew three men in our 
block, and was not at all familiar with them. 

He told me he expected to move to town 
next week, and I asked him to call and see 
me when he got settled. As I was leaving he 
asked me if I did not want some eggs. He said 
the merchant in his village wouldn’t pay more 
than 10c. a dozen for them, which amount he 
expected you to take out in trade. 

Well, my farmer friend did move to town, 
with all of his brood except the pigs, as he had 
learned that the city ordinances would not 
allow a four-legged hog in town . I saw my 
friend after he had been in town four months. 
He said the girls had learned shorthand and 
could perform fairly well on that little piano¬ 
like instrument that sat on the desk, but only 
one of them had succeeded in getting a job— 
at $5.00 a week. He said the boys had an¬ 
swered several advertisements for help 
wanted. Day before yesterday when Joe 
went to answer an ad. there were forty-one 
applicants in line, twenty-seven before him 
and thirteen behind. He figured that at that 
rate you would have to answer forty-one ad¬ 
vertisements before you got a job. The boys 


CITY VS. COUNTRY 


279 


are still at it. I asked the old man what about 
his job as mayor. He replied that he had 
been approached on the subject by some of the 
people in his ward, but he could not under¬ 
stand why they had to have so much money 
for cigars. He had found out that if he got 
the help of these men he would have to give 
them the jobs instead of providing places for 
his own family. He said that he had been as 
saving as possible with the city water, but it 
had cost him $6 for what he had drunk so far. 
Now he is wondering which is the cheapest, 
water or bottled goods. He said he could 
read the hands on a clock all right, but that 
the gas and electric light meters kept him 
guessing. He never could tell whether they 
were going or coming. He had bought a 
second-hand auto and taken the girls out 
once for a ride; he had run over a dog which 
cost him $10, and was pulled in for not having 
a license on his car. He had had a tire blow¬ 
out and the carburetor wouldn’t work. His 
landlord had told him that if he would have 
the car fixed up, he, the landlord, would take 
it for a month’s rent. He said he went down 
town last week to buy a box of apples and 
the grocery man showed him several kinds. 
Among the lot was one that had his own name 
on it. He had packed it last fall and sold it 
to the wholesale man for 60c.; but the retail 
dealer wanted $1.50 for it now. I think the 




280 


A DRUMMER’S EXPERIENCE 


country man is about in the notion to swap 
his prospects for a jack-rabbit, and then kill 
the rabbit. 

The man that establishes a trading bureau 
will make more money than a matrimonial 
agency. Everybody wants to swap, trade or 
move. The man in Kansas wants to go to 
Colorado; the man in Colorado is going to 
Canada; the man in Canada is going to 
Alaska. The blacksmith wants to be a car¬ 
penter; the carpenter is determined to be a 
painter; the painter covets the plumber’s 
graft; the laborer wants the foreman’s job; 
and the foreman is thinking of turning out the 
boss . Before trying on the boss’ hat, he has 
never reconsidered that it may be two or 
three sizes too large for him. If the people 
ever get settled and learn what they want to 
do, then get their shoulder to the wheel, there 
will be something moving. 



Rocky Mountain Telephone 











Chapter XXXIII 

WHAT MAKES THE WORLD GO ROUND 

Our world, figuratively speaking, is the 
sphere we do or can operate in: therefore, 
what we accomplish and the prestige we exert, 
constitutes our ability to control that sphere 
for good or evil. In order to accomplish 
permanent results you must at all times have 
the confidence of the people, and it is impos¬ 
sible to retain this confidence without con¬ 
scientious effort on your part. Do not 
imagine for a moment that you can deceive 
the people and retain this confidence; you 
may delude them for a period of time, it has 
been done and can be done again; but it is 
only a matter of time when straws show which 
way the wind blows. You cannot hide your 
actions, you cannot conceal your motives. 
The serpent in the Garden of Eden while he 
did man an injustice, never accomplished 
anything for himself. Cain claimed that he 
was nob the keeper of his brother, but the hand 
of all other men was raised against him. Judas 
Iscariot’s treachery was detected, and he paid 
the penalty. Deceit is as great a vice as 
treachery. A hypocrite seeks to get into your 
good graces and then betrays your confidence. 


WHAT MAKES THE WORLD GO ROUND 283 


Thieving in its worst jorm. I had rather en¬ 
counter a pickpocket than a hypocrite, they 
both steal from you; but the hypocrite is a 
liar as well as a thief. There are men who 
join themselves to honorable bodies in order 
to get the confidence of the public, that they 
may dupe and rob them. This man may 
flourish for a while but he will be found out. 
The trouble with the hypocrite is, he often 
deceives himself, he imagines that he is hiding 
his motives, when he is not. There is only 
one road to success, prestige and influence. 
You must be honorable, energetic, decisive. 
You cannot be carried on a wave of senti¬ 
ment, it is too fickle, you cannot be swayed 
by the influence of designing men, they are 
working to their end; your interest is not their 
interest. 

Political aspirations have always been great 
factors in elevating men to positions of power; 
or to set them in the gutter to be spit on by the 
populace, as a just reward of their neglect, or a 
betrayal of the trust reposed in them. A man 
can have no higher aspirations than a desire 
to serve his country in an honorable way; 
but ambition often selects avarice as a run¬ 
ning mate ; greed has blasted more bright pros¬ 
pects for men of ambition than all other 
causes combined. If you are patriotic and 
have the true interest of your country at 
heart, your zeal will bring its reward. No 



284 A DRUMMER’S EXPERIENCE 

grafter, no schemer, ever stood high in the 
estimation of his countrymen. Washington, 
Hamilton, Jefferson, Patrick Henry, Calhoun, 
and Lincoln could never have occupied their 
positions had they not been men of integrity 
and honor. The modern platform of most 
political men has more trap doors than can be 
found on the stage of a sleight-of-hand per¬ 
former. Then, it seems that he has two kinds 
of promises; like lies, white and black. The 
promises to ward healers, to be kept; those 
to the people, to be broken. These tactics 
may win once or twice, but there is a bridge 
ahead, and your watchman, though faithful, 
is color blind; he turns the wrong signal, all 
is lost. 

Choose what occupation you may, if you 
expect to succeed you must have stamina; 
you will find that your future depends more 
upon your dealing with men, than with 
events. The people whom you come in con¬ 
tact with are not slow to recognize merit. 
They are like the green fellow from Arkansas. 
Wnen his judgment was reflected upon he told 
the critic, “I am not so green as I look.” 
In your dealings with your fellow man do not 
promise too much; do more than you prom¬ 
ise instead of less; this is a better advertise¬ 
ment than printer's ink. Be very careful not 
to promise the impossible or the unlikely. 
Do not get it into your head that the world 


WHAT MAKES THE WORLD GO ROUND 285 


owes you a living, it does not; you must earn 
it, by hard knocks; every man’s road has 
stones in it; and at times it leads through the 
woods; then you will come to the parting 
of the ways, and no sign-board to direct your 
steps. Now you have to use your judgment, 
get your bearing, look for the smoke of the 
city in the distance, or the light of the watch 
tower. You must learn to rely on your own 
judgment and when you take a stand do not 
let adverse winds disturb you. Do not im¬ 
agine that because you are working in the 
interest of justice, that you will not have op¬ 
position. Jealousy has and ever will play 
the part of a black-mailer, your actions will be 
suspected, your words misconstrued, and even 
your thoughts will be anticipated and dis¬ 
torted; you will be held up to ridicule, and 
your motives questioned by people who are 
seeking their own advancement. Your only 
hope is self-control and firmness. 

Whatever business you attempt, throw 
your whole soul into it, be determined, and 
enthusiastic, and you will create a magnetism 
that will draw men and opportunities to you. 
Have a principle and a system of action, be 
prompt in your promises, never let a party 
wait on you after the appointed hour, and be 
candid in your statements. Conceal nothing 
that in justice should be known. There never 
was in the history of the world a time when 


286 


A DRUMMER’S EXPERIENCE 


strong men were as much needed as today. 
The field for opportunities and advancement 
is vast, our thousands of new inventions and 
industries have opened up avenues of business 
that was not thought of twenty years ago. 
The world wants you, and is calling you today 
to take your position and assert yourself. 
Are you ready for the battle? Will you be a 
private, a captain or a general? And will 
you stand the fire? We, the world , today are 
selecting a body guard. We want minute 
men; we want men we can trust to guard the 
interests of America; to protect our institu¬ 
tions, our treasury vaults, our liberty and our 
honor. Would it be an honor to wear a badge 
of fidelity and good service, if this badge was 
presented by the enlightened and the liberty 
loving people of the United States? This 
emblem of honor has been designed in the 
hopes of your people and will be moulded from 
the life-blood of their affection, and gilded 
with their sincerity. Accomplish your work, 
and your name shall be engraved on this 
badge under the statue of liberty. Did you 
ever stop to think what percent of men are 
failures? We do not refer to financial failures, 
but to a nonenity, to fill space only, is the 
worst form of a failure. What a mortifying 
feeling it must be for an old man to look back 
over his life and see what a blank he has 
been; he now can see too clearly where he 


WHAT MAKES THE WORLD GO ROUND 287 


could have improved his opportunities. There 
is only one time for a boy or girl to make a 
decision as to the future, that is today. Life, 
is either sorrow and defeat, or joy and victory. 

A captain of a ship who would leave port 
without equipping himself with supplies, 
would be at the mercy of the elements and 
have a mutiny on board his vessel. You, like 
the captain, are to make a journey of far more 
importance, the journey of life is everything to 
you; before you set sail see that you have 
sails, a good rudder, ballasts, be sure you 
have a log to take your soundings, oil for 
your lamps, and a compass. Of the latter, 
you must have one that will not be attracted 
by foreign elements—yes, and a thermometer 
and barometer too, that you may be warned 
of approaching storms. Now the next most 
important thing is, your companions (your 
crew). See to it that your crew are sailors, 
and under your command. You say I am an 
inexperienced sailor, how can I run the 
gauntlet, how can I avoid the rocks? There 
is no gauntlet on the open sea! Rocks, sand¬ 
bars, and shoals, all have danger signals, do 
not go near. Captains lose their vessels by 
taking chances, “go slow” until you learn to 
handle your ship in the calm waters of the 
bay. Now when you take on your cargo of 
will, determination and honor, he sure you 
get a chart, showing the shoals and the treach- 


288 


A DRUMMER’S EXPERIENCE 


erous rocks. Now you are ready, pull for 
the open sea where the wind is fair, and you 
own the right-of way; use your rudder, (tact) 
let out, or take in sail; carry your signal lights 
on the port side, and do not be ashamed, or 
afraid to fly your colors, use your log, take 
your soundings, watch your barometer, and 
sail by your compass. Rains may fall and 
your ship be tempest-tost, but you must stand 
on the bridge and weather the gale. You may 
be blown out of your course, but you will not 
lose your bearings; trials and difficulties you 
will have, but you will land on the Isle of 
Success. 

If your inclination leads you to the com¬ 
mercial or manufacturing world here you will 
find the field vast, but close competition in 
all lines. The commercial business will try 
a man’s stamina and honor more than any 
other line. Here his time and money are both 
at stake, and temptations are great, and often 
times profits are small, thereby giving a 
plausible excuse for taking advantage of cus¬ 
tomers, or doing his opponent an injustice; 
but just so sure as you misrepresent your 
goods and deceive your customers, just so 
sure you lose your trade. The merchant 
who backs his goods with plain words, using 
no braggadocio or sarcasm about his opponent, 
is the man that wins. The most successful 
men of today will not allow their clerks to 


WHAT MAKES THE WORLD GO ROUND 289 

misrepresent goods, and are conservative in 
their advertising, when their ad appears in 
the paper it means something. 

The professions will try your nerve and 
patience. For the first few years you must 
convince the people that you are competent 
and worthy, you cannot assume too much, 
otherwise they will distrust you. Console 
yourself by reflecting that all men at some 
stage of their life have passed through the 
same ordeal. It is very rare that a young 
man in any line, makes a grand success on 
first starting out. Meet failures with a brave 
spirit, each act of your life now is forming 
your future destiny. A soldier must be dis¬ 
ciplined and trained before he is fit to go on 
dress-parade. Nothing can hold you down 
if you are thoroughly determined to win. The 
treasures of life are locked in a vault for safe 
keeping, for the most worthy; but you have 
the key to give you admission. A great deed 
is always accomplished by a great purpose,— 
there is plenty of work to do in this world,— 
use decision, and undertake what will yield 
profit and prestige. We sometimes complain 
of the shortness of life; but it is long enough 
to make a reputation or lose one. You are 
a sculptor, with a chisel of time, carving your 
own destiny; it is all piece work, the harder 
you work the quicker you attain the desired 
end. Finish your job today, tomorrow you 


290 


A DRUMMER’S EXPERIENCE 


should have another . Listen to no discourage¬ 
ments, surrender to no opponent. Do not 
imagine that you, in order to succeed, must 
have extraordinary talent or social standing. 
The brightest stars in the business world are 
often men who had to work day and night to 
keep up with their classes. It is more often 
tact and application that give you ability, 
prestige and position. Be resourceful; if 
you get turned down come back with your 
colors flying; if you have convictions, sin¬ 
cerity and determination, you cannot be kept 
down, your very actions will carry conviction. 
Resolutions without actions is like a well 
without water. Ambition and self-reliance 
have made more good men than genius and 
prestige ever did. 

The game of life is not won by some bril¬ 
liant thought or action; but by continual per¬ 
severance. A valiant warrior carries on his 
face a look of defiance which wins the battle 
before the sword is drawn. The world ap¬ 
plauds a hero, but detests a fault finder and a 
coward; sympathy finds no resting place 
in the business world. If you have troubles, 
bury them, and invite no friends to the 
funeral. It is a poor advertisement to offer 
your kicks and complaints at auction; they 
will not bring ten cents on the dollar. 

You cannot buy prestige or position, neither 
can you inherit it in America, it must be 


WHAT MAKES THE WORLD GO ROUND 291 


earned. Ambition and energy with some 
talent, make the difference in men. Without 
these you can never attain renown, you must 
win by your own power, or fall by your own 
neglect. Trials and difficulties strengthen 
you for future action. A stalk of corn raised 
in the shade produces no fruit. There is no 
such thing as luck, it is pluck, or as we say in 
the West, “sand.” Map out for yourself a 
plan of action and follow it to the end, never 
losing sight of the goal; build yourself a plat¬ 
form of sound boards and nail them down, do 
not use the kind that are often used by poli¬ 
ticians. I have often seen these made like an 
extension table so they could take out or put 
in a board at pleasure. 

You have a little world of your own; you 
are toe king of that world; and all kings must 
have thrones and^palaces. Build your throne 
of works and deeds well done, upholster it 
with contentment and gild it with honor. 
Now build your temple, not a shod shanty on 
a sand pile and among the cactus, but a temple 
that is fit for a ruler; build it on the rocks of 
honesty, so the tempests of adversity, cannot 
undermine it; build it of tried principles as 
hard as granite, cement the floor with wisdom, 
fresco the walls with constancy, hand pictures 
drawn by hope; and your furniture, not heir¬ 
looms of your fathers, but turned out from 
your own factory; now build a citadel to 


292 


A DRUMMER’S EXPERIENCE 


crown this edifice. You need no port-holes, 
you need no cannon, but vases filled with 
flowers to deck the parapet. When you have 
finished this palace, you will be safe from the 
darts of criticism, while your enemies will not 
carry torchlights in your procession, they can¬ 
not scale your walls. You may never have 
the triumph of a Scipio, nor wield the sceptre 
of a Caesar; you may not have the inspiration 
of a Byron, or the knowledge of a Webster, 
but you will exert an influence that will 
vibrate from the Atlantic to the Pacific. 


Chapter XXXIV 

LABOR TROUBLES 

The labor question today is agitating the 
civilized world, more than all other questions 
combined. The enlightment of man, and the 
taste of liberty, has brought about labor 
troubles. There was a time in man’s history 
when there was no such disturbance; but as 
working men became more enlightened they 
became more ambitious, and as the principle 
of equality and free government was taught, 
they assumed more independence, asserted 
their rights and demanded a greater propor¬ 
tion of the wealth as produced by capital and 
labor. It was very obvious that labor single 
handed, could not cope with capital, inas¬ 
much as there was a great supply of labor and 
a scarcity of work; so labor unions were 
formed making a compact between themselves 
to demand certain wages, and fixed hours. 
There is no disputing the right of labor to do 
this. It is not only right, but it is imperative, 
and must be recognized. The laborer is an 
American citizen, just the same as the capital¬ 
ist and the manufacturer. Now the individual 
operator has the advantage of the individual 
laborer, where there is no union or combination 


294 


A DRUMMER’S EXPERIENCE 


on either side, but on the other hand the 
combination of laborers have the advantage 
of the operator; therefore, oftentimes, injustice 
is done by each party. And as each is looking 
to better his condition and oftentimes without 
regard for equity; it is self-evident that these 
two contending factions cannot agree as to 
the basis of agreement. Each contends that 
he is right, and each takes a stand that is 
oftentimes radical, and vastly different means 
are used to carry their points. The operator 
often refuses point blank to pay a living wage 
and refuses to treat with his men, claiming 
that he is the boss! On the other hand, the 
union demands certain concessions, and an 
exorbitant wage, also demands working condi¬ 
tions that are equivalent to bankrupting; or tak¬ 
ing the business out of the hands of the man who 
is furnishing the money and ability to run it. 
If either faction succeeds in winning, they are 
oppressive to the other; and in either case it 
is a direct imposition on the general public. 
It is time that the people were waking up to 
the fact that the public interest is to be more 
considered than individual advantages. Is 
it not time to settle it once and for all? This 
question is working a great injustice to man¬ 
kind in general. A strike affects every man, 
woman and child in America, and as a rule 
the strike accomplishes little for either the 
laborer, or the employer. We have tried for 


LABOR TROUBLES 


295 


a great many years to adjust the differences 
between labor and capital, by conferences. 
Has it been a success? No. Will it ever be a 
success? No. Each one stands for what he 
considers is right, and the longer they argue 
the further they get apart. Can these two 
contending parties, each select one, and let 
these two so selected, choose a third party, 
and these three adjust the difficulty? No, not 
to the satisfaction of either party, so contend¬ 
ing. Both capital and labor will contend 
that the decision was a put-up job; and will 
not long be satisfied with conditions. What, 
then, is the remedy? There is only ono 
remedy—the National Government must act 
as mediator; not only as arbitrator, but the 
government intervention must be final, with¬ 
out ANY APPEAL. Not only this, but the 
laws that are enacted to govern strikes must 
carry a penalty for the violation of such arbi¬ 
tration. The manufacturers want to know 
how to compel the labor unions to carry out 
their part of this agreement, as dictated by 
the National arbitration board. Simply by 
not recognizing, or treating with any labor 
unions that are not incorporated under the 
laws of the states in which they exist; and 
at the time of their incorporation, to file with 
Secretary of State, a sufficient bond to be for¬ 
feited in case of refusal to live up to the 
dictated compact as prescribed by the Na- 


296 


A DRUMMER’S EXPERIENCE 


tional Commission. A bond of equal amount 
must also be exacted from all companies and 
individuals employing union labor. I am 
persuaded that very few labor leaders, or em¬ 
ployers of labor, will appreciate these con¬ 
ditions, as each one is sparring for the ad¬ 
vantage. But I am not talking to the labor 
leader or the employer; I am interested in the 
welfare of the generality of mankind. The 
great masses of the people should be con¬ 
sidered. A strike of any magnitude demoral¬ 
izes business, raises the price of living, clogs 
commerce and causes millions of dollars to 
be lost in wages—more than it is possible to 
recover in increased wages (if such are secured) 
in one year. Besides this, have you heard of a 
strike in twenty-five years, where there were 
not a number of innocent people who lost their 
lives? Now let us look at this subject from a 
financial, and a humanitarian standpoint. Is 
it not time to take drastic measures? Yes, 
but you say Congress must act and who can 
force them to do their duty? You can. 
You are the Congress yourselves. Take this 
matter up with your Representatives and 
Senators. Agitate it. Talk about it. De¬ 
mand it! You will get it if you really want 
it. We often find people who claim they are 
working for a certain measure, but if you 
watch them closely you will see they are 
working to keep from doing it; they are like 


LABOR TROUBLES 


297 


the tramp looking for work, who was asked 
w r hat kind of wx>rk he wanted. He replied 
that he preferred a job of working somebody. 
He was more honest than some of our leaders 
and public men. Capital and labor are both 
essential, one as much as the other. One can¬ 
not exist without the other; therefore, in¬ 
stead of being rivals, and often enemies, they 
should work in harmony. I do not mean by 
this that they should form a co-partnership 
and have the plant in common and share the 
profits equally. I am not much of an advo¬ 
cate ot co-partnership. It will end in dis¬ 
aster oftener than any other combination. 
The small share holder is never satisfied with 
his pro rata and is jealous of the man who has 
the larger amount of shares. There is almost 
sure to be wrangling when it comes to select¬ 
ing officers, and in dealing with things in 
general. There must be a general in all 
affairs of life, and this general must be held 
responsible by the majority of the board of 
directors, or by the majority of the stock 
represented. Now people are so constituted 
that the smaller stock holder, the more 
ignorant the man, the mere suspicious he is. 
Not only that, but there would be a great 
temptation on the part of the large stock 
holders to freeze out the small man; this has 
been done thousands of times. History re- 





298 


A DRUMMER’S EXPERIENCE 


peats itself. “Be wise and stay within your 
own sphere.” 

There must be come solution of this ques¬ 
tion. It affects public interest to such an 
extent that it demoralizes business, and clogs 
the wheels of commerce; it throws out of 
employment thousands of workmen every 
year. These workmen drift from place to 
place leaving their families. And oftentimes 
a home tha is paid for is sacrificed and every 
cent that has been accumulated for years is 
squandered. All because the man was called 
out on a strike, and oftentimes without his 
sanction. The coal man, groceryman, shoe 
and dry goods man, the landlord—everybody 
suffers and nobody is benefited. And, on 
the other hand, the factory or plant is shut 
down, machinery rusts, orders are not filled, 
clerks are discharged, capital is idle, a town 
and community virtually bankrupt; all be¬ 
cause each side was too exacting. The high 
cost of living has a great deal to do with caus¬ 
ing strikes. Poor pay and bad working con¬ 
ditions are the greatest factors while the agita¬ 
tion of leaders is a good second. The leader, 
like a road commissioner just before election, 
has to make a showing to make you think he 
is earning his money and working for your 
benefit. The dispute between capital and 
labor is a point in equity, just the same as 
any case that is tried by our courts every day 


LABOR TROUBLES 


299 


in the year. A misunderstanding between 
labor and capital should never go to a strike. 
Nothing is accomplished by strikes. There 
is not a case on record wdiere there was a bad 
strike and conditions generally demoralized, 
where property was damaged and burned, 
and men were killed, that ever accomplished 
anything for either side. The striker es¬ 
pecially gets the worst of the deal. Why a lot 
of men will do something to damage the cause 
for which they are laboring, is beyond my 
comprehension. American people can be per¬ 
suaded, but not driven. The old tactics of 
starving or bombarding a castle into sub¬ 
mission, is poor policy; while you are starv¬ 
ing your opponent, you are getting to look 
like an inmate of a charitable institution 
yourself. And while you are bombarding 
him he is making your castle look like a 
cyclone had struck it. The only way to 
settle your difficulties is to get an outside 
party to do the fixing; one who never fails, 
Uncle Sam. 


Chapter XXXV 

ALASKA AND THE NORTHWEST 

Among all the pleasant memories that I 
have of the past, one seems to haunt me; it 
flashes upon me when all alone, bringing back 
scenes and incidents that were very unusual. 
In 1900 I was in Vancouver, British Columbia, 
and got a letter from my firm requesting me 
to go to Alaska. This was Saturday after¬ 
noon. I took an inventory of my household 
goods, and worldly belongings which con¬ 
sisted of thirteen collars, twenty-three hand¬ 
kerchiefs, seven shirts, eleven pair of socks and 
a safety razor. I then turned my attention 
to my anatomy—respiration below the nor¬ 
mal—fever one hundred—nerve an unknown 
quantity—headache two days old—temper 
boiling—finances on the verge of nervcus 
prostration. I went out and got a prescrip¬ 
tion filled. 1 do not remember how much 
now, but I think it was a quart. Everything 
being ready we set sail on the briny deep 
Sunday afternoon. Everything went fine 
till about twelve p. m. when I was awakened 
in my berth by my next door neighbor making 
a noise like he was calling hogs. As I had 
always enjoyed seeing pigs eat, I got up to 


ALASKA AND THE NORTHWEST 301 


investigate. When I opened my stateroom 
door, I found I bad made a mistake. My 
friend, instead of calling hogs was leaning 
over the railing and feeding the fish. I pro¬ 
ceeded to get familiar with him and attempted 
to lead him into conversation; but be gave me 
that vacant stare. Then I tried to console 
him and tell him he would get well; he an- 



Harbor Esquimault, B. C., Canada 

swered me by saying, “That is just what I 
am afraid of.” Well every dog has his day, 
unless he is on board a ship, and then it is 
likely to come at night. The same day out 
we had a little excitement, which brought the 
coal heavers jrom the hole, and the sailors on 
deck. It was not a storm of the elements, 
but the commotion was a hog. We had on 
board some home-loving swine, that we were 




302 


A DRUMMER’S EXPERIENCE 


taking to Alaska to serve as a relish in a 
Chinese restaurant. One of the old granny 
hogs broke out of her crate and decided to 
take a bath in the briny deep; and, without 
waiting for towel or soap, she took a header. I 
do not know how deep she went, but she was 
wet when she came up and fighting mad. She 
espied an island about a mile away, and 
headed for it without a compass. She did 
not stop to figure whether she would meet any 
of her congenial swine friends there or not, 
but she was like Columbus, she would have 
the right of discovery and she could colonize 
it at her leisure. But the captain and the 
crew broke into her arrangements; ;the cap¬ 
tain called for Heenan and his brother, a boat 
was dropped into the surf, a signal was given 
for the race. Old grannie had the advantage 
of the start, by five hundred feet, at the 
quarter part she was still in the lead, but 
odds were offered on the boys; at the half, she 
was overtaken. Now, strategy of man was 
pitted against the instinct of the hog. They 
undertook to take grannie in on the larboard 
side. These sailors learned more about lev¬ 
erage and gravity in this conflict with grannie 
than they ever knew before. They found 
that two men and a hog on one side of a boat 
would tip it at an angle of about eighty de¬ 
grees. This caused them to load water faster 
than it did hog; shifting one man in the stern, 


ALASKA AND THE NORTHWEST 303 


the other in the bow, steady now. One man 
tries to raise grannie by main strength, 
but as she comes above water she proves to 
possess more avoirdupois than the sailor—she 
wins, he takes a bath. Third inning, big 
sailor at bat, little sailor short stop—hog on 
first—two balls—one strike. One of the pas¬ 
sengers suggested getting some corn and tote 
her in. Fourth inning, one man on each side 
of the bow; big sailor grabs grannie by the 
top sail, little sailor by the rudder, one, two, 
three, landed, but not home. It was a ques¬ 
tion of who would run the boat, the hog or the 
men. They called for reinforcements to dis¬ 
arm her, or to man the boat, preferably the 
former. After a series of skillful engineering 
feats grannie was hoisted on board and put in 
chains. From now on we had to rely on 
scenery for amusement, and it was the best— 
mountains on every hand rising out of the 
sea, covered with spruce and pine, and the 
deep bluish green of the water making a 
perfect image of the reflection. We glided 
along day and night in a hundred fathoms of 
water, between these mountains, rarely ever 
seeing the open ocean; and it was well 
enough that we did not see it, as our little 
ship could buck like a broncho . One morning 
I was at the breakfast table just as we were 
entering Dickson’s inlet when a wave struck 
us and sent me sliding back over the floor. I 



304 


A DRUMMER’S EXPERIENCE 



Sioux Braves 


did not know but what it was a trick of the 
steward to save the fine beefsteak. We 
stopped at Juno, where I saw the novelty of 
a street being paved with boards. The streets 
were covered from side to side with planks like 
a bridge; this was done to prevent the wagons 
and teams from sinking into the mud, for it 















Alaskan Coast 



















306 


A DRUMMER’S EXPERIENCE 


rained here every day—it did not mist, and it 
seldom ever missed. 

Douglas Island, is only a short distance from 
Juno. Here one of the largest stamp mills 
in the world is in operation, pounding the ore 
as fine as meal. On nearing the wharf at 
Skaguay, the first sight that caught my eye 
was a mammoth watch chain, composed of 
solid nuggets of gold; this was worn by a 
man on the dock, as carelessly as a boy would 
w r ear an Ingersoll watch. This is the town 
where the famous pack trains loaded their 
wares and received as toll, a dollar a pound for 
transporting the goods over the White Pass; 
but now the iron horse goes over instead. 
Here, too, the Chinaman practised his culi¬ 
nary art of serving ham and eggs on a board 
tabla covered with oil-cloth; and received for 
his pains a tip of two dollars and fifty cents; 
as for a bed, a pair of blankets and your shoes 
for a pillow cost only two dollars. By proper 
persuasion this Chinaman would wash your 
shirt for 50c. 

Our next stop was Sitka. Here you find 
the Totem poles in perfection. They are 
often painted, but always gruesome looking. 
The characters carved upon them represent 
human beings and animals: each character 
represents a heathen god, but in reality, looks 
more like characters of Dante’s Inferno. They 
usually stand about twenty to sixty feet high. 


ALASKA AND THE NORTHWEST 307 


Alaska would not be complete without 
glaciers. One of the finest is Mewer Glacier, 
near Sitka. It is hard to conceive what a 
glacier looks like from description. Imagine 
millions of tons of ice and snow, that are 
compressed and wedged together by slipping 
off the mountain sides and coming in ava¬ 
lanches, one upon the other, piling up hun¬ 
dreds of feet deep. The pressure and the 
weight keeps moving this down, and the lower 
end is being melted all the time, often causing 
perpendicular ice cliffs, that are very beauti¬ 
ful. We came back on a steamer known as 
the City of Seattle. She was a nice little 
craft, but she must have been shy on ballast, 
for the waves played with her like a cat toss¬ 
ing a ball. You did not have to walk the 
deck to give you exercise; you got plenty 
trying to hold yourself in bed. The captain 
of this boat surely made plenty of money; he 
never had to feed anybody. On one occasion 
he approached one of his patients who was 
pumping out his system over the stern of the 
boat. The captain essayed to console him by 
saying: “My friend your stomach is weak.” 
“Ain't I throwing it as far as any of them?” 
was the reply. It was a question which was 
the more interesting, the scenery or the pas¬ 
sengers. Well, we lived to tell the tale and 
needed no doctor for a year after, so we will 
praise the good ship that carried us over in 


308 A DRUMMER’S EXPERIENCE 

safety. I must be a boo-doo for every time I 
get on a ship, she tries to float on her side or 
waltz on her bow. 

I left Astoria, Oregon, one morning on a 
small boat to go over the Columbia bar and 
around by Cape Disappointment, to Ilwaco, 
Wash. After we got over there the wind be¬ 
gan to howl from the west and roll up white 
caps over the bar. I would have given 



“Beauty Spot,” Northwest Coast 

thirteen cents to have been back in Astoria. 
A prospective passenger asked the captain 
if he thought the return trip would be rough; 
he answered, “I hope so.” He got his wish 
and then some. If I had a piece of paper, and 
anything to have willed I surely would have 






Steamer Returned from Alaskan Winter Trip 











310 


A DRUMMER’S EXPERIENCE 


gotten busy. Sometimes the bow was up and 
sometimes the stern. When the stern would 
come out of the water the wheel would fight 
the air like a Dutch windmill fighting demons 
in the moonlight. The man who made this 
boat understood his job, he made it to float 
on its side as well as on its bottom. That was 
one time we felt like we would rather walk 
than to ride, but the purser had our tickets 
and the pilot would not stop. Do not ask me 
if we got over, I am here to tell you about it. 
If you think this over-drawn, the boat is in 
commission and they are still selling tickets 
at a reduced rate—you can make arrange¬ 
ments for the wind to blow. 


Chapter XXXVI 

HOW TO THINK 

Of all the accomplishments that man is 
capable ol attaining, the power of thinking is 
the most valuable. 

When we refer to the power of thinking, we 
mean to include the ability as given us by 
nature, and the science of concentration. We 
take the position that systematic thinking 
can be attained by close application. If we 
have a well-balanced mind given us by nature 
it is possible to build around this, to adopt a 
system of thinking; that will so train our 
thoughts and memory that we can concentrate 
our mind on any given subject; take a sub¬ 
ject up in detail and analyze it, just as a 
chemist would analyze a particle of matter 
given him. 

But to attain this end you must have a 
system. You must start at the root, work 
up through the trunk and into the branches, 
just as the sap permeates the tree. You must 
be willing to apply yourself, you must have 
your body in prime condition. Even a pig 
cannot fatten when his liver and stomach are 
out of order. 

We often see weak children that are very 





312 


A DRUMMER’S EXPERIENCE 


intelligent, but unless their physical bodies 
are built up they will be flashy—their ef¬ 
ficiency will only apply to certain studies, 
and you will find that in course of time, they 
will break down in body, or brain. 

Therefore, see to it that the body is healthy 
and the mind kept clean. It is impossible to 
contradict nature, and succeed. Please write 
this last clause with indelible ink on your 
memory. A strong body as a foundation is 
more essential than an active mind. The 
mind can be trained easier than the body can 
be built. If you happen to have both then 
you have a happy combination and with 
proper application you should make a ten- 
strike. 

My suggestion is, acquire a good high school 
education. A collegiate course, though good; 
is not essential. Secure a membership card 
to a good library and use your card. Read 
good, logical books. You can never read all 
the books in America, so pick the best. 
Novels and fiction in general are no good. 
They are amusing and interesting, but an 
absolute waste of time. Why read another 
man’s imaginations and stories? If you want 
practice, write some yourself. 

Do not borrow; do not ape. When you are 
reading a treatise, you are absorbing knowl¬ 
edge and experience, as observed and proven 
by the writer. Now make a habit of thinking 


HOW TO THINK 


313 


as you read. Reason the wherefore of the 
proposition under consideration. Do not read 
blindly, being led altogether by the writer. 
He has a reason for putting his subject in this 
form. Is his reason practical; does he make 
his points clear; is his logic backed by facts 
as substantiated by other writers, by history, 
or by cause and effect? If so, his argument is 
good. Learn to sift every man’s arguments. 
We all have lumps in our sand , and often our 
lime is air-slacked. 

Use your thinker. The trouble with a 
great many people is, they wait for, and expect 
others to do their thinking. If you let the 
other man do the thinking, he warps and 
influences your judgment. The mind, like 
the muscles, must have exercise in order to 
develop and to have tension and endurance. 

The old-fashioned debating societies were 
one of the best institutions we ever had. 
They taught the young man the habit of re¬ 
search and preparation for defence. He must 
study both issues in order to be prepared to 
assault or defend. It also taught him the 
art of delivery and expression. 

When a statement or an assertion is made 
to you, learn to analyze it, fathom the cause. 
This will help you to discern the effect. 
Weigh the arguments that are offered for and 
against. Try to select companions who have 
some experience and are well read. Learn 


314 


A DRUMMER’S EXPERIENCE 


to direct your conversation to some end. We 
often meet people who have one train of 
thought only; that soon develops into a 
hobby, and from that to a bore. Try to keep 
out of this rut. People with hobbies have 
some good ideas, but they are, as a rule, 
extremists, and are ever ready to impose 
their ideas on you. 

A good plan for young persons is to make a 
rule of always having some leading thought 
to occupy their minds. When you have 
threshed out this subject, start another in¬ 
vestigation. If you will make a practice of 
this for twelve months, you will note a marked 
change in ;your ability to think, and to arrive 
at conclusions that are logical. 

It is said that knowledge is power. It is, 
under certain conditions only. Knowledge 
without execution is like water in a reservoir 
without an outlet. Water is only a power 
when it is moving, and its weight is applied 
to the wheel. Knowledge is an accumula¬ 
tion of facts; ability is the application of these 
facts. The mind w r hen fed by knowledge is a 
mighty dynamo, throwing off the sparks of 
thought, charging itself and electrifying the 
world. A man may be a philosopher and yet 
be a failure for want ot execution. The 
scepter has always ruled. Power of execution 
is what gave us our Alexanders, Caesars, 
Napoleons and Grants. Power of execution 


HOW TO THINK 


315 


will set a man on the throne, who never had a 
drop of royal blood in his veins. There are 
thousands of men today at the heads of large 
establishments, who will not risk themselves 
to direct the affairs of their own business. 
They hire genius to direct their campaigns, 
and make a success by so doing. 

Wealth or prestige cannot bestow this gift 
of execution. There is only one tutor, that 
is exercise of the faculty of thinking at the 
proper time. The mind is ever active; you 
cannot help thinking. Your only exertion is 
to turn your thoughts in the right channels. 
They will fill your reservoir of knowledge. 
Then open the flood-gates and turn your 
powers loose on the spindles of execution. 

Every man or woman should form the 
habit of reading good books. They will en¬ 
large your sphere of thought and show the 
practical side of life. 

As soon as you begin to acquire knowledge, 
it will give you a desire and a capacity for 
more. The brain, like the body, must have 
exercise to give it power. Everyone should 
learn the knack of thinking early in life. By 
thinking we can annihilate space; all the 
energies of nature are at our command 
Matter is subject to thought. Mental power 
takes the place of force. When mental power 
has scored a conquest, she has not crippled her 
adversary, but she has strengthened herself. 



316 


A DRUMMER’S EXPERIENCE 


Mental power is acquired by constant ex¬ 
ertion. In order to have capacity and to 
think properly you must train all the faculties. 
The man who continually uses one faculty 
becomes unbalanced and warped in his judg¬ 
ment. 

Cause and effect govern the universe. If 
you want to arrive at a conclusion, analyze 
the subject. There is a solution to almost 
all questions. If you are called upon to de¬ 
cide on a certain point, inquire into the funda¬ 
mental principles of the proposition; then 
watch the progress and see what effect is 
produced from certain causes. Propositions 
are carried to conclusion, and results ac¬ 
complished by certain fundamental principles. 
Men have causes for offering certain propo¬ 
sitions. Ascertain what those causes are. 
It is also good policy to judge the future by 
the past, if there is a criterion on record. 
Straws show which way the wind blows. 
Learn to read between the lines. Here you 
will often find the signal code, or the key that 
unlocks the inner vault. 



Empress of Japan” at Anchor, Vancouv 


















Pulpit Geyser, Yellowstone Park 





















Chapter XXXVII 
YELLOWSTONE NATIONAL PARK 

I have often wondered how many kinds of 
mud the human race was made of. We know 
the Chinaman is made of yellow mud, and the 
African of black mud, but to decide on the 
kind that was used to make the man who is 
content to stay within a circle of twenty miles 
of where he was born, stay in his shell, to see 
nothing, to learn nothing. Then again there 
is the man who does see, but does not ap¬ 
preciate or understand the grand and beauti¬ 
ful. I formed the acquaintance of a man 
while on my way to visit the Grand Canon of 
Colorado. My fellow traveler was also bound 
for the Canon. We arrived at the Bright 
Angel Hotel about 5 p. m. He registered at 
the desk and left his grip. We walked to the 
brink of the wonderful chasm. He looked at 
it like he was looking into a sink hole ten by 
ten feet—no traces of pleasure, excitement or 
awe; he walked down a few hundred feet and 
took another dazed look, then headed for the 
hotel and asked what time the next train left. 
When told it would go in thirty minutes, he 
checked his baggage and hit the road. In our 
party that made the trip through Yellowstone 


320 


A DRUMMER’S EXPERIENCE 


Park, was a man that should have saved his 
money to buy tickets to the ball games. He 
had a kodak and he was playing with that 
most of the time. It seemed that all he was 
after was a few pictures that he might be 
able to show to his friends, to prove that he 
had been a visitor to nature’s wonder. I 
cannot understand how a man like that gets 
enough pleasure out of life to justify him for 
his effort. 1 suppose all five of his senses 
are in working order but his perception is 
badly in need of repair. 

I was a passenger on the last coach that left 
Cinnabar, in the fall of 1900, for a trip 
through the Yellowstone Park and I thought 
I was lucky to get a seat. I was booked with 
our friend Wyley, who has a line of tents to 
house his guests in, and I wish to compliment 
him on the manner in which he takes care of 
his people. We had good service and ac¬ 
commodating guides. 

Yellowstone National Park is located in the 
extreme north-west corner of Wyoming, being 
bounded south and east by the surrounding 
portions of the state, and on the north by 
Montana, and west by Idaho. The park is 
almost square, being about sixty miles one 
way, and seventy the other. It is also sur¬ 
rounded on all sides by forest reserves belong¬ 
ing to the respective states. This makes a 
vast country for the game to range in; and 



Mammoth Hot Springs, Yellowstone Park 













32 : 


A DRUMMER’S EXPERIENCE 


they surely take advantage of the protection. 

It is claimed that animals cannot reason; 
if it is not reason, it is akin to it. I saw more 
game in and around the Park than I ever saw 
in all the Rocky Mountains. There are deer, 
bear and elk in abundance. I followed a deer 
in the woods near the Yellowstone Falls for a 
quarter of a mile to get to photograph him, 
but he finally out-walked me. In this same 
vicinity, near a hotel, where the refuse was 
dumped from the kitchen, I saw thirteen bears 
at one sight. They came there every evening 
about six o’clock to get their dinner. They 
must have had watches or clocks of their 
own, for they did not wait for the hotel bell 
to ring; they were surely beauties, nearly all 
silver tips, and of good size—too big for me to 
play with. They watched us pretty closely 
while they ate their meals and once in a while 
one would get suspicious and v r alk off, but he 
would come back in a tew minutes; he could 
not stand to see the other boys getting all the 
hash. They did not use very good manners 
at the festal-board, as they snarled and 
growled at each other a good deal. It re¬ 
minded me of the scenes at some of our Amer¬ 
ican breakfast tables. There was one poor 
fellow in the lot that I was sorry for. 1 
would like to have been a good Samaritan, 
but my nerve failed me. His lordship had by 
some means gotten a tin can mashed on his 


YELLOWSTONE NATIONAL PARK 323 


right fore foot; he must have been supping 
out of a can and some other bear stepped on 
the can and pressed it into the flesh; at any 
rate I was told that it had been on there for 
several weeks. This trouble all came about 
by his being a right-handed bear; if it had 
been mashed on his left hand he could have 
pulled it off with his right hand. There was a 
family of bears near the Yellowstone Lake 
that gave the Wyley company outfit con¬ 
siderable trouble, and some fun; the family 
consisted of old Betsey and her two boys. 
While the boys were under her control they 
behaved fairly well, but had no respect for 
their neighbors, and old Betsey like all other 
mothers, could nob see the faults of her own 
children. The Wyley people had tents for 
their kitchens as well as for their sleeping 
apartments; now old Betsy’s boys thought it 
great fun to creep under the tents of the 
kitchen, like an American boy goes under the 
tent at a circus. One night about eight 
o’clock, Joe, the youngest one (the youngest 
is always the worst of the lot, that is what my 
brothers used to say) stole under the tent and 
proceeded to help himself to a pot of pork 
and beans; he did not look for a spoon, but 
in his haste rammed his hand to the bottom of 
the kettle. The beans were pretty hot at the 
bottom and Joe howled with pain. This at¬ 
tracted the white folks and they rushed into 


324 


A DRUMMER’S EXPERIENCE 


the kitchen and captured the free lunch find; 
he hallooed for his mamma, and Betsy was 
not slow in responding, but before she could 
arrive with reinforcements, the victors had 
their captive in jail, under a box. This so 
smothered his voice that Betsy could not say 
for sure that it was her boy that was in the 
toils of the law. So, after making some big 
bluffs and parading around the tent with her 
artillery cocked and pinned, she at last de¬ 
cided not to storm the fortress. Joe was kept 
for a week or two, then released under parole 
pending good behaviour. 

Well I have slipped a cog, I started out to 
tell you about the Yellowstone National 
Park, the wonder of the world. While there are 
geysers in other parts of the world, notably 
Iceland and New Zealand, there is nothing 
that approaches the magnitude of the Yellow¬ 
stone. After leaving the railroad station, we 
have an uneventful drive for eight miles, then 
we reach the Mammoth Hot Springs; here each 
visitor must register, giving his name and 
address; here also are the soldier’s barracks. 
You may ask what are soldiers needed here 
for? To watch you and the other wild animals , 
to see that civilized man does not intrude on 
his weaker brothers, or interfere with the 
formation as drafted by nature’s architect. 
You do not know what a vandal you are until 
you are tempted. If the public was turned 







326 


A DRUMMER’S EXPERIENCE 


loose on the formation of silica at the Mam¬ 
moth Hot Springs, they would carry it away 
in one season. The formation is so extremely 
delicate and beautiful, that you can hardly 
keep your hands off. The Springs are on a 
side hill, and the silica contained in the water 
has built up mammoth terraces and parapets. 
Nature has been perpetually engaged here 
day and night for thousands of years building 
this monument of alabaster, veiling it with 
the tulle of mystery and dedicating it to the 
God of Beauty. Nature often combines the 
different forces into one harmonious union, 
perfection and beauty. We see in the forma¬ 
tion of the crystal terrace, the hand of the 
architect, the builder, and the giver of life, 
all in one. The warm water rising from the 
boiling spring laden with sulphur and other 
minerals, spreads itself over the surface and 
forms a rim of silica around the edge, thereby 
making a small pool. In this pool the water 
cools, then oozing over the rim at all places 
it is spread like a veil over all the terrace; 
here it becomes hard, building up the terrace 
very much the same as icicles are formed under 
a leaky trough, or from a dripping cliff in cold 
weather. The pedestals so formed are al¬ 
ways clear and transparent as long as the 
water flows over them; but if from any cause 
the water is turned into a different course, 
then the silica turns dark leaving a dull gray 



Old Faithful,” Yellowstone Park 





I 



Falls of the Yellowstone 















YELLOWSTONE NATIONAL PARK 329 


appearance. Side by side you find pillars 
of crystal brightness and others of ashy gray, 
resembling life and death. In the live portion 
of the terrace you can detect the colors of 
purple, orange and brown and on top of the 
pool there stalactite sickles form in spears 
across the water as ice forms across a brook 
on a cold day. Near the spring is an old dead 
geyser known as Liberty Cap, with a cone 
about ten feet high. Through the center of 
this cone there is a hole running down into 
the earth beyond the conception of man, 
through which the seething waters were 
forced from the bowels of the earth. After 
leaving the Mammoth Hot Springs, the first 
place of interest is the gateway, where it seems 
that nature was about to forever close this 
scene of wonders from the vulgar eye. At one 
time this was a narrow and dangerous pas¬ 
sage, but now the government has a fine drive 
there. The Obsidian Cliffs is a very peculiar 
freak of nature; here is a solid cliff of glass, 
that is often called the Armory. It is related 
that in early days the Indians considered 
this as a neutral spot and that no tribe, or 
individual were to be molested, as long as 
they were there for the purpose of securing 
glass to be used as ammunition in killing game. 
But as soon as he had secured his ammunition 
and was on his way home, or in pursuit of 
game, he was likely to be attacked and robbed 


330 


A DRUMMER S EXPERIENCE 


of his spoils. This cliff formerly extended to 
the edge of a small lake, but the undaunted 
white man built fires to heat the glass, then 
threw water on it to melt it down, like Han¬ 
nibal did the Alps, but there is a mountain of 
it left yet. The Black Growler is not very 
interesting, only inasmuch as be reminds you 
of some terrible monster choking to suffoca¬ 
tion. This is a big cavern in the earth, belch¬ 
ing forth steam and muttering grief or 
vengeance. The reason it is called Black 
Growler is because the sulphuric fumes have 
blackened the rocks above, and he, like a sore¬ 
headed bear, is ever grumbling. Norris basin 
is of vastly more interest. Here you feel as 
though you were treading on treacherous or 
forbidden ground. Your first impulse is 
“what is it?” Where is the fire? Like fire¬ 
men when summoned to a burning building; 
on arriving there are no flames in sight but 
smoke and steam are gushing from every 
crevice and window in the house. They stoop 
to peer, they run from place to place, to locate 
the origin of the smoke and steam: so you, 
when you first walk upon the scene and behold 
the sulphuric hissing steam arising from the 
windows of the earth, wonder where the fire 
is. Located on every side there are boiling 
pools, bubbling with gases, sulphuric fumes 
fill the air, and saturate the earth at every 
step. The ground gives way and you feel 


YELLOWSTONE NATIONAL PARK 331 


as if you were about to break through the 
thin crust that is covering a seething, boiling 
caldron. I ventured out on this quivering 
mass, some five hundred feet. At last I 
came to a spot where the earth gave way as 
if you were walking on a sponge. My guide 
called out: “Say, old man, it is sixty miles to 
the hospital, and the horses are tired.” I was 
wanting some one to call me back anyway. 
There have been cases where people have 
slipped, or broken into the edge of the pools 
and got badly burned. Proceeding on up the 
valley you reach the Upper Geyser basin. 
Here you find the real stage of action; here 
the knightly powers of water and fire are ever 
at war. Water ever endeavoring to drown— 
fire ever trying to consume. When we ap¬ 
peared upon the scene everything seemed 
quiet and serene, and I must confess I was a 
bit disappointed, as I had expected to hear a 
great commotion. We were standing close 
to the Riverside Geyser talking when all at 
once with a mammoth hiccough she spurted 
forth a mighty stream of water. Jumping 
back, we stood in amazement and wonder as 
the mighty monster belched forth its sub¬ 
terranean stream. The Riverside was not 
through until another burst forth; now the 
noise of the mighty torrents of both streams 
filled our ears. The roaring, gushing, hissing 
volume of water caused us to stand transfixed; 


332 


A DRUMMER’S EXPERIENCE 


not a muscle moved; we looked, wondered, 
admired. When they were through playing 
we looked at each other in astonishment. At 
last one man spoke and said: “Is not that 
wonderful?” But wonderful, grand, majestic, 
does not express it. Incomprehensible would 
be a better word, for who can fathom, who 
can give a correct or scientific explanation; 
we may give a plausible one, but it cannot be 
proven. The supposition is that there is an 
immense caldron deep in the bowels of the 
earth. This is capable of holding an im¬ 
mense quantity of water. Now this caldron, 
or kettle is gradually being filled by springs 
or seepage from the earth. This water keeps 
filling this caldron and the orifice above it. 
All the while the water in the lower part of 
the kettle is being made hotter and hotter by 
adjacent fires; now the weight of the cold 
water above, holds the hot water down and 
confines the steam until it becomes so hot 
that like a safety valve on a steam engine it 
blows off. Now whether this theory is correct 
or not, is a question, but be the cause what¬ 
ever it may, the effect is inspiring. There is 
a great difference in the length of time that 
different geysers play, varying from five 
minutes to half an hour; there is also quite a 
difference in the construction above ground. 
Some have cones and some have none. I 
think a proper explanation of this is that the 


YELLOWSTONE NATIONAL PARK 333 


older geysers are the ones that have the cones, 
inasmuch as the formation of the silica con¬ 
stitutes the cone, and this formation is very 
slow, taking thousands of years to build it 
up. There are about thirty active geysers 
in the upper basin. Some, like men, are more 
prominent than others. The Fan, River¬ 
side, Giant, Giantess, Pulpit, Lion, Lioness, 
Castle, and Old Faithful are the ones that 
attract the most attention. There seems to 
be no regularity in the playing of any of them 
except “Old Faithful”—she is prompt to the 
minute; being seventy minutes between erup¬ 
tions. And it is estimated that at each 
eruption she throws out 1,500,000 gallons or 
33,225,000 a day, enough water to supply a 
city of 350,000 inhabitants. This body of 
water ascends to a height of 150 feet in a per¬ 
pendicular column. Old Faithful was the 
first geyser named, and the one that attracts 
the most attention at the present time. The 
tube through which the water is forced is two 
feet and six inches in diameter. There are 
other geysers, however, much more powerful. 
It was my good fortune to see the Giant play 
while in the park. This was the crowning 
spectacle of all. Imagine a shaft of water 
four feet in diameter forced vertically into the 
air, to a height of two hundred feet; think 
what an enormous force there must be to 
propel this volume! Imagine if you can, the 


334 


A DRUMMER’S EXPERIENCE 


extreme heat that is brought to bear on this 
subterraneous cavern. Sublime phenomenon! 
incalculable forces! a combination of grandeur 
and power, a force that the powers of man can 
never resist. 

There are a great many other wonders be¬ 
sides geysers in this district. There are the 
numerous pools which while not as majestic 
as the geysers, are far more beautiful. If the 
Emerald pool could be photographed in its 
natural colors, you could sell the subject for a 
thousand dollars. Does it seem natural that 
a pool of water could have red, orange, violet 
and green, all perfectly blended together? 
You can find the colors very pronounced, and 
the shades perfect. The colors are produced 
by the mineral deposits held in solution by tEe 
water. This solution adheres to all objects 
in the pool, making rocks and sticks appear as 
clusters of diamonds or flowers, and the 
peculiar feature of it all is, that though these 
pools are within a few yards of each other, 
no two are alike. Sunset Lake is somewhat 
larger, but just as beautiful. When the light 
falls just right, you can see circles and rings 
more perfect than can be drawn by an expert 
draughtsman. In all of these pools bubbles 
of air, or heat, are continually rising, which 
form on top of the water, and the coloring- 
in these bubbles is just as perfect as the water's 
tint. The Devil’s paint pot deserves special 


YELLOWSTONE NATIONAL PARK 


335 


mention. Here is one of the most peculiar 
sights I ever saw. It consists of a perfectly 
round basin, about eight feet across, with the 
rim of the basin extending up about three feet 
high. Inside of this bowl is a reddish mud 
that is continually boiling. This mud is 
about as thick as brick mortar. The heat 
rising through this grimy substance causes 
bubbles to form and burst, like soap bubbles, 
or perhaps resembling more a kettle of boil¬ 
ing soap. A great many of the objects have 
been happily named by wits that have visited 
the park at different times; and if the Devil 
owns all the furniture that bears his label he is 
pretty well fixed for keeping house. I will 
give you the names of a few of the articles 
that he is supposed to own. There is the 
DeviFs thumb, Devil’s fryingpan, Devil’s 
ear, Devil’s elbow, Devil’s basin, Devil’s 
eyeglasses, DeviFs kitchen, DeviFs vault, 
DeviFs inkpot, DeviFs punchbowl, DeviFs 
laundry, DeviFs paint pot, DeviFs spittoon, 
DeviFs tea kettle, DeviFs mush bowl. Now 
whether his Satanic Majesty owns all these 
articles or not, they very much resemble those 
just named. 

I cannot refrain from speaking of the lake, 
or pool of water known as Excelsior Geyser. 
Though this now looks like a pool or lake, at 
one time it was the most powerful geyser in 
the world, and it may play again some day. 


336 


A DRUMMER’S EXPERIENCE 


If it does I would be willing to travel five 
hundred miles to see it. Its last eruption 
was in 1888 . At that time it ascended in one 
vast body fifty feet wide and two hundred fifty 
feet high . At this outburst it increased the 
flow of the Feribole river over one hundred 
per cent. What is more wonderful, what is 
more powerful, what is more beautiful than 
this majestic spectacle! Man has band con¬ 
certs, dramas and tragedies performed on 
stages. Minature type! Here is a setting, 
hefe a cast that is staged upon mother earth, 
and the actors, generated by her own impulse, 
play to an audience of man and beast by day, 
and to the planets and stars by night. There 
is a peak in this park that is called Electric 
Peak. It is claimed by people who have been 
in the vicinity during a storm, that the light¬ 
ning plays some queer pranks around its 
dome. This phenomenon is attributed to the 
fact that the mountain is so impregnated 
with mineral, that it attracts the electric 
current, causing it to play hide and seek. 
There is also a mountain near the geysers that 
is ever sending forth steam from a score of 
cracks and crevices, giving indications of 
slumbering fires that may break out in the 
form of geysers or volcanoes. 

Yellowstone park is about eight thousand 
feet above sea level. On account of early 
winter in this high altitude, the tourist season 


YELLOWSTONE NATIONAL PARK 337 


closes about the 10th of September. From 
then till the next spring the wild beasts take 
possession of their own. There are supposed 
to be 2,500 elk and 200 buffalo and deer too 
numerous to count; bruin too, comes in to 
swell the number. The beasts seem, to have 
learned that this is their home, and that they 
are secure from attack of man, the laws being 
very rigid concerning the preservation of 
game. It seems a rather peculiar coincidence 
that this fiery furnace and the petrified forest 
should be in the same vicinity; what produces 
one, surely does not produce the other. This 
petrified forest extends over a considerable 
territory, though the trees are sparsely lo¬ 
cated. The trees that are left standing are 
great shafts of rock, a fitting monument of 
the wars between the elements. For us to 
conceive the immensity of time that has 
elapsed since this warfare commenced, we 
have but to excavate the earth in this pet¬ 
rified forest, and find eleven distinct layers of 
these fallen monarchs, that have grown at 
different periods, and have each been em¬ 
balmed with the elements that are essential 
to its everlasting preservation. There are 
strata of lava, that separate each period of 
growth and decay. Think what enormous 
periods, yes ages, must have elapsed between 
each layer of the fallen tombstones, that were 
in turn dedicated to the father of time. Some 


338 


A DRUMMER’S EXPERIENCE 


specimens of petrification in the West are 
perfect, the bark, the rings on the trees, and 
the wormholes as perfect as the day they were 
made. I have a specimen in my possession 
where the tree w r as beginning to decay, before 
it was subjected to the elements that pre¬ 
served its identity. Speaking of petrified 
forests, reminds me of two travelers that met 
and were comparing notes. One was a brag¬ 
gadocio and sometimes drew on his imagina¬ 
tion. He told an unreasonable story. The 
other one, to outdo him says, “Well, I was 
in Yellowstone Park a few years ago and 
visited the petrified forests, I saw trees that 
had been petrified,—bark, limbs and buds 
were all perfect; and on one of these limbs 1 
saw a petrified bird singing a petrified song.” 
The conversation was interrupted by the for¬ 
mer gentleman taking a walk. 

In grand and inspiring scenery there is 
much diversity of taste. Some admire the 
beautiful, while others admire the rough and 
rugged. While I appreciate the beautiful and 
the poetic it does not move me like the power¬ 
ful and the grand. Water has always had a 
great fascination for me. I love to see the 
majestic ocean and to ride upon its powerful 
swell. I delight to see the great column of 
water ascend from a peyser, and to contem¬ 
plate the massive power behind the spectacle; 
I admire the dash in 2 ; cataract; I delight in 


YELLOWSTONE NATIONAL PARK 339 


seeing a mighty stream rushing onward full 
of life and energy. As the hissing of the 
flames of burning Rome was music to Nero’s 
ears, so the mighty roar of the cataract is 
delightful to mine. You can imagine my en¬ 
thusiasm and great pleasure when I walked 
upon the precipice overhanging the falls of the 
Yellowstone, and gazed into the depth of the 
Canon where the mighty torrent was dashed 
to spray. The river rushing onward like a 
mighty avalanche compressed into a space 
seventy feet wide, jumps sheer of the cliff, 
throws itself against the rocks, and with a 
deafening roar, bids defiance to all forces of 
the mundane sphere. While water is suscep¬ 
tible of division into the most minute particles, 
yet when those particles are combined it has 
the greatest force known to man. Nothing 
can withstand the continued pounding of 
water. Granite rocks are ground to powder, 
and even mountains can be washed down with 
hydraulic pressure. The solid wall over which 
the Yellowstone now pours its mighty volume, 
will some day be torn out and pulverized. 
The Yellowstone is the highest falls in America 
of any magnitude, being 1250 feet. If this 
massive power could be harnessed, it would 
manufacture all the electricity needed from 
Boston to San Francisco, if applied on a tur¬ 
bine wheel, would grind all the wheat of the 
Mississippi Valley or would run the spindles 


340 A DRUMMER’S EXPERIENCE 

and weave the clothes of the nation. But 
The Falls is not all that is grand and inspiring. 
The Canon equally divides the honors. After 
making two trips to the brink of The Falls 
and drinking of the cup of grandeur, I was not 
satisfied. The next morning a party was 
formed for a “ hike,” We took our lunch and 
ferried the river above the falls and walked 
down some two miles to where there was a 
series of ladders and knotted ropes to allow 
us to decend over the cliffs to the water’s edge. 
Here we listened to the roar of the artillery of 
nature, and watched the advancing and re¬ 
treating W 7 arriors of Aqua—no, not retreat¬ 
ing, but rushing from one conquest to another. 
After resting ourselves and taking some fine 
snapshots of the cataract, we proceeded to 
climb Jacob’s Ladder back to the point of 
descent; here we needed some reinforcement 
for the muscles, so we sat down among the 
pines and enjoyed our noon repast. Accom¬ 
panied by the ever-festive camp-robber and 
he surely deserves the name, he is a bird-of- 
tramp, or a tramp-bird, as he will hang around 
and beg you all the time you are eating for 
your bread, cake and pie. He will not only 
beg you to divide with him, but he will rob 
you while you are gone into the canon, if you 
do not take the precaution to put a weight 
on your tin bucket. He is about the size of 
the jay and the color of a dove, but our old 


YELLOWSTONE NATIONAL PARK 341 


guide said he came nearer being “ the devil/’ 
than a harbinger of peace. We proceeded 
down the bank for some three miles further, at 
intervals approaching the brink and gazing 
into its depths. At last reaching Artists’ 
Point, we seated ourselves to take in the vast 
panorama and to study it in detail. The lon¬ 
ger you look, the more beautiful it seems. 
The volcanic rock through which the river has 
cut its channel, is exquisitely beautiful. But 
added to this is the sulphur deposits on its 
face that have been rising and settling here 
for generations. This deposit gives it a fairy 
aspect as well as reflecting the delicate and 
in some places the gorgeous colors. People 
often in describing colors say that it has all the 
shades of the rainbow; this definition will not 
apply to the coloring of the Yellowstone 
Canon. The words of Talmage better de¬ 
scribe the tints: “Hung up, and let down, 
and spread abroad, are all the colors of the 
land, sea and sky.” With the falls three miles 
away for a background what a picture! It 
is said that this very rock that serves me for 
a seat, at one time was the resting place of a 
famous artist, who came here to paint the 
canon. He sat down and began to take in 
the view while his attendant was getting ready 
paint, brushes, easel, etc. Having everything 
in readiness, he waited for his master to begin. 
At last the artist arose and walked away. 


342 


A DRUMMER’S EXPERIENCE 


Upon inquiring why he did not proceed, the 
artist replied. “If I should paint this ac¬ 
cording to nature the world would not receive 
it; there is no similarity in any other part of the 
world , it seems a contradiction of nature ” 
There is a projection on the opposite side of 
the river that extends over the chasm that is 
called Inspiration Point. The party who 
named this spot must have felt the spell; 
walking out of the wood and underbrush that 
grow to the edge of the precipice, the curtain 
is at once drawn aside, showing grandeur, 
beauty and sublimity. The cliffs on every 
side seem as perfect, as if carved by a chisel 
in a master sculptor’s hands—spires and min¬ 
arets, all painted by a skilled and artistic de¬ 
signer. 

The Yellowstone lake is a magnificent body 
of water, 7,900 feet above the level of the 
ocean. For boating or fishing it is unsur¬ 
passed; the trout seem to be waiting for the 
season to open and to form the acquaintance 
of the tourist. The only disadvantage I saw 
was there was not enough exertion, nor ex¬ 
pectation to make one eager. This you know 
is the principal excitement with most fisher¬ 
men, as they usually fish all day and get one 
bite; hut here in the Yellowstone lake the trout 
is a sport, as he will meet you half way . 1 will 

not tell you how many are caught, and how 
fast they bite, you might think 1 was a fisher- 


YELLOWSTONE NATIONAL PARK 343 


man. I do not care to share their reputation 
or their profits . But there is a nice little 
steamboat on the lake that will skim over 
the water like a bird, and you can enjoy a 
ride that will bring roses to your cheeks and 
an appetite for dinner. But do not bank on 
the fijherman too much to supply the table 
with the rainbow variety—sometimes they 
fail. Like th e m an w h o told h is wife to sh arp- 
en the knives, so she might help him dress 
the deer on his return from the hunt; he re¬ 
turned all right, but the knives are sharp yet. 
It is said there is no excellence without labor, 
and this adage applies to the Yellowstone 
National Park. It is hidden away in the fast¬ 
ness of the Rocky Mountains, and it requires 
effort and some experience to bask in the sun¬ 
shine and inhale the pure mountain air of this 
region; but I have never yet found a person 
who had made the trip, that ever regretted 
the time or expense. There is no other spot 
on the glebe where so many wonders and 
beauties are clustered so close together, and 
the scene is so varied from the beautiful crystal 
formation at Mammoth Hot Springs, to the 
seething, smoking and treacherous honey¬ 
comb strata of Norris’ basin. The wonderful, 
the incomprehensible geysers; these surround¬ 
ed by the emerald pools growing mineral 
flowers within their bosom. From there to 
the Continental Divide, where with one sweep 


344 


A DRUMMER’S EXPERIENCE 


of the eye you can take in the Teton Moun¬ 
tains eighty miles to the southwest—the lake 
with its placid beauty,—the wild animals in 
their native homes;—the evergreen forest in 
contrast with their petrified brothers, who 
have stood for centuries and will stand for 
centuries more. Then to crown it all, is 
The Falls and The Canon which speak louder 
than words of beauty, grandeur and majesty. 


Chapter XXXVIII 
A GOOD TIME 

Deity never created man to be a burden to 
himself, and an eyesore to society. Nine- 
tenths of our troubles are imaginary, and can 
be blotted from our book of remembrance. 
Children have their troubles just the same as 
grown people, but the child’s troubles are like 
soap-bubbles, they never last over night. The 
little girl breaks her dolly; she cries as though 
her heart would break. The boy loses his 
ball or breaks his toy; it is just as hard for him 
to bear this as it is for you to suffer a financial 
loss. 

I remember when I was a boy and was 
“breaking” a couple of young steers to work 
to my “truck wagon.” It was a wagon that 
I had taken great pains to make; it was so per¬ 
fect in construction that all the boys in the 
neighborhood looked upon it with a longing 
eye and had offered me all sorts of trades to 
induce me to part with it. I always shook 
my head and said, “Nope.” I could have 
more fun with this outfit then, than I could 
now with a $5,000 auto. 

Well one day I was out in the woods and 
just loaded up with some kindling when a boy 




346 


A DRUMMER’S EXPERIENCE 


came running toward my team with a kite he 
was trying to fly. My steers broke in to a run. 
I tried to head them off. It was no use. 
They bumped against trees, over rocks and 
into fences. When they were finally stopped 
the yoke was broken, one of the calves crip¬ 
pled; and my wagon a perfect wreck. If I 
should lose a house and lot today, it would 
not hurt me half so much. I thought I was 
ruined for life. I spent the afternoon be¬ 
moaning my fate. But the next morning by 
daylight I was on the job, determined to re¬ 
pair the wreck, which I had packed from the 
woods on my back. I held a consultation 
with myself as to whether I should start at 
the differential, or at the radiator end. I 
finally decided that the steering gear being 
out of order was the cause of all the collisions 
of the previous day. The steering gear was 
not automatic, and so would not turn the 
corners as fast a>s “Buck” and “Brandy,” 
but would turn turtle instead. I went to 
work and in three days had everything in run¬ 
ning order, except the spark-plug and car¬ 
buretor; I thought Buck and Brandy had 
enough spark in them to run, and I knew 
they were good mixers , as I had tried them. 

The next day I was whistling and the birds 
sang as sweetly as ever. 

Just so are the troubles all through life; 
there is always a way out. You must be 


A GOOD TIME 


347 


stronger than the opposition. You have the 
latent power within you to be King of your 
Realm. The man or woman who is continu¬ 
ally complaining; admits that he or she is 
weak and not able to cope with the petty 
affairs of life. This weakness can be over¬ 
come by determination and the cultivation 
of hope. There are thousands of people that 
invariably look for the dark side of everything. 
You may submit any kind of a proposition to 
them and before you get through they have an 
objection formed and their suspicion is arous¬ 
ed. They are afraid of everybody and every¬ 
thing; they suspect your motives, and will do 
or insinuate something to block progress; they 
are natural-born cranks and kickers and so 
penurious that they cannot be honest. If 
such people could only see themselves in the 
same light that others see them, they certainly 
would change their tactics. Then there are 
others who are always complaining that the 
world does not treat them right, that they 
have hard luck—which they usually are en¬ 
titled to , as they drive business away, and dis¬ 
gust all with whom they come in contact. 
There are others still who are everlastingly 
complaining of their aches and pains. Will 
these people ever learn that rehearsing a thing 
in the mind, and keeping it continually before 
themselves, does more to impair the organs 
than anything else they could possibly do? It 


348 


A DRUMMER’S EXPERIENCE 


has been demonstrated to the satisfaction of 
scientists, that by constantly affirming to a 
well man that he looks bad, that he has fever, 
that he has indications of a certain disease, the 
ailment will actually develop, through the in¬ 
fluence of the mind over the body. If this 
picture before the mind will produce disease; 
a lovable, healthful, joyous picture will pro¬ 
duce health. Despondency paves the way 
for the doctor. Grumbling and complaining 
have been the stepping stones to divorce courts 
more than once . The people who are light¬ 
hearted and jolly, make friends and hold them. 
People who look for the good in all things and 
are willing to give credit where credit is due, 
who are willing to concede that the other 
fellow can be right part of the time—they are 
the people who are magnetic and attract the 
admiration of the w r orld, at the same time 
laughing off troubles, and repelling disease. 
Who ever heard of a big fat man having the 
“blues,” or refusing to laugh when there was 
a good joke told? If you find yourself grow¬ 
ing melancholy, get out and take exercise or 
join a jolly crowd and go to the theatre, or to 
the “ movies.” One of the best tonics one can 
take is to get out and romp with the children. 
If you have none of your own, borrow some. 
Go for a walk; if your case is bad, go to the 
country. Get away from decent people, 
where you cannot bother them with your com- 


A GOOD TIME 


349 


plaints; and when you come back from your 
trip, do not look for the old ball you formerly 
wound your grief on. If any of your chums 
have the same disease as yourself, do not go 
near them. I know of a sanatorium that has 
strict rules not allowing patients to talk about 
their ailments to each other. 

At a certain hospital there was a bench near 
the fountain, which was called the “mourners’ 
bench.” Here the chronic complainers came 
daily to swap their tales of woe. The Super¬ 
intendent, to stop this, had painted on the 
seat, “Order your coffins early to avoid the 
rush.” 

Learn a lesson from the child. Learn to 
get over your troubles by not thinking of them. 
There is something new before the child’s 
mind all the time; and as soon as the mind 
grasps another subject the trouble has van¬ 
ished. You have the power to change your 
mind from the worry and if you do not, you 
should suffer; it is a just debt you owe and 
you must pay it. 

Fear has a great deal to do with peoples’ 
happiness. You have met persons who w T ere 
afraid of everything. They were afraid it was 
going to storm, afraid they had caught cold, 
afraid their eyes were failing them, afraid the 
children would be sick or run over in the 
street; everytime they hear a noise at night 
they think it is burglars; they keep themselves 


350 


A DRUMMER’S EXPERIENCE 


worked up and nervous all the time. If you 
care an} r thing for life, stop this at once. 
Worry will bring old age, gray hairs and the 
grave quicker than anything you can do. 

Read good books, those that teach a prin¬ 
ciple preferred. Broaden your sphere of 
thought, build air castles, work with your 
hands and brain, have some object in view, 
remember that you were created to some 
great end, have the nerve to take 3^our position 
in the front rank, think something, act some¬ 
thing, wake up and let the world know that 
you can command respect. Take the first 
train to Progress and be on hand when the 
melon of prosperity is cut. 


Chapter XXXIX 

COLORADO 



Every country 
has its beauty- 
spots that show 
up as beautifully 
as the glow on a 
maiden’s cheek 
just when she is 
blooming into wo¬ 
manhood. It has 
been my pleasure 
to linger in a few 
of these places 
and absorb some 
of their salient 
features. 

The Rocky 
Mountains have 
Stalactites, Cave of the Winds alway s been my 

Colorado Springs, Colo. favorite haunt. I 

can see more majesty, feel more inspiration 
and inhale more life-giving energy amid the 
crags of the Rockies than I can perched on the 
towering Washington Monument. I love 
freedom; I love to stand on the peaks and 
breathe the pure, health-giving air, to feel the 




352 


A DRUMMER’S EXPERIENCE 


energy of youth coursing though my veins; 
and to bathe in the sunshine peculiar to this 
region. 

I love the water, pure, clear and cold 
Strained through gravel, mixed with gold, 

I love the mines, they produce the stuff 
That give us wealth quite enough. 


I love old Pike, emblem of the free; 

He wears the white cap of liberty. 

I love the pines and eternal rocks, 
They speak of majesty that never mocks. 


I love our prairies, broad and grand; 
They produce the best people in the land. 

I love our reservoirs—irrigation is grand; 
It raises the “spuds” for mortal man. 


I love our deer, mountain sheep and antelope; 
Peers the equal of Rocky Ford cantaloupe. 

I love the sugar-beet, tops and all; 

It sweetens our coffee and stops the cow’s bawl. 


I love our alfalfa, bees and honey; 

One is sweet, the other means money; 

I love our cabbages—aren’t they grand? 
Nothing like them in all the land. 


I love our beefsteaks, and that isn’t strange; 
This critter was killed right off the range; 

I love our roads, good and hard, 

Firm as a city boulevard. 


COLORADO 


353 


I love our climate, winter and summer; 
It’s good enough for any old lunger! 

I love our people, keen as a razor-blade, 
Most of them, are strictly self-made. 

I love our city, the view is fine, 

It is called the City of Sunshine; 

I love my home as I do my life; 
Nobody to boss but the dear old wife. 

I love my state, I love its name; 

It’s the best from California to Maine; 
View it from every angle you can, 


Colorado was made for 



Balanced Rock, Garden of the 
Gods, Colorado Springs, Colo. 


a White Man. 

If you want to feel 
the blood course 
through your veins 
as it did when you 
were a boy, hike to 
the hills with your 
drinking-cup. Take 
no water with you; 
you will find that 
gushing pure and 
cold from Nature’s 
fountains. People 
who have never 
climbed mountains 
know nothing of the 
exquisite joy one feels 
as they mount from 
crag to crag. You 
feel as if you had 




354 


A DRUMMER’S EXPERIENCE 


satisfied that one longing ambition of man—to 
conquer. When you have arrived at the top 
of the peak you feel you have reached the 
goal. You cry “ Bravo !” Now, with the 
satisfaction of accomplishment you sit down 
and rest, and survey the prize as far as the eye 
can see. Exhilaration, inspiration, do not 
express your emotion. Me live in another 
country?—Not yet. 

A few years ago I had occasion to stop over 
night in Canon City, wfith my family. The 
next morning we went out for a little walk, 
but before we returned to the hotel it proved 
to be a pretty good one. We had covered a 
distance of 14 miles. 

We started up the Grand Canon, and like 
the boy chasing the butterfly, we were led on 
and on, from flower to flower, from pinnacle 
to dome, dome to cliffs 3,000 feet high, thence 
to the rushing torrent of the Arkansas, driving 
its battering-ram against the granite walls; 
and ever at work on its task cf making a road¬ 
way through the boulders. Next our atten¬ 
tion was attracted to the Hanging Bridge. 
Here the forces of Nature are contending with 
the Gould System, as to which shall have the 
right of way. But the difficulty has been ar¬ 
bitrated by the railroad being suspended in 
the air. This canon is some 20 miles in length; 
and every foot is crowded with interest. 
Then there is the Sky Line Drive near the 



Potato Rock, Garden of the Gods 



356 


A DRUMMER’S EXPERIENCE 


same town; which is considered by many to 
be one of the most picturesque drives on the 
continent. Nature once upon a time got 
romantic, and threw up an immense ridge of 
solid rock several miles long; leaving a valley 
on one side and a canon on the other. The 
rocks are set ou edge and tower a hundred feet 
above the surrounding country, the walls be¬ 
ing almost perpendicular. On one end of this 
ridge there is an auto road that winds to the 
top. But before starting, see that your brakes 
are all right, and your steering gear in “ apple- 
pie order.” We are going to put you on this 
cliff that is about 10 feet wide, with a rocky 
parapet on each side. Now steady! Speed 
limit 60 miles an hour; driver strictly pro¬ 
hibited from using bottled goods or stomach 
bitters! When you get half way up, stop. 
Look to the right; there is the road you just 
passed over in the canon. On the left, at a 
stone’s throw, is the verdant valley. What are 
those trees? Apples, apricots, plums, cherries, 
pears and peaches—-yes, and strawberries be¬ 
tween the rows. I wonder if that old farmer 
has a grown daughter? Say, Bill, you are 21 
years old tomorrow; let’s stop and see if we 
can get some cider! 

Ouray can boast of the most weird canon 
in the country. It has the appropriate name 
of Box Canon, and it surely is boxed in. 
When you are nearing it you hear a roaring 


COLORADO 


357 


sound as of distant thunder. As you draw 
nearer this increases in magnitude; until you 
walk upon the precipice that leads to a sus¬ 
pended bridge. Here all of a sudden the 
sound breaks upon you in a deafening roar 
and you look to see if the bridge is falling. 
When you have caught your breath and 
started again you tread on the bridge as softly 
as a cat when watching its prey. The 
thunder of the water falling among the hidden 
crags now threatens to damage your ear¬ 
drums. You look above you, and around you 
and see no water. Is it a myth or are demons 
fighting with Fate? You look around. Solid 
walls on every side, that you can easily reach 
with your walking cane, extending far below 
and hundreds of feet above. Hemmed in, 
trapped! What an admirable place for a 
dungeon, all we lack is an iron door. On 
closer examination, we find the head waters 
of the Uncompaghre river have cut their way 
among the crevices of the rocks and pouring 
with fiendish glee among the boulders at the 
bottom of the pit, out of the sight of man; but 
in the hearing of the God of Nature. 

This town of Ouray is unique in a way. It 
is built in a recess of the mountains in the 
shape of a dipper. The whole town is not lar¬ 
ger than a potato patch in Ireland; but that 
is not the fault of the people who live here. 
Their backdoors swing against the granite 


358 


A DRUMMER’S EXPERIENCE 


walls, and if they made the town larger, they 
would have to move the mountains back. 

About 50 miles east of this place, near the 
town of Montrose, is the famous Gunnison 
Tunnel. Here the government has bored 
through the mountain and intersected the 
Gunnison river, diverting it from its course, 
poured it upon the mesas in another valley; 
and made them to blossom as the rose. 
Knights of the hoe! (honest farmers), here is 
your chance. If I were not so tired I would 
tackle it myself. What will the ground pro¬ 
duce? Ask rather, what it will not produce. 
Go down to Montrose or Delta, back up your 
wheelbarrow to the curb, and tell the merchant 
to roll you out a peach —but I will not say 
anything more about this section of the coun¬ 
try until I have had a talk with the real 
estate man and see if he will divide commis¬ 
sions with me 

Now we take the Denver & Rio Grande 
through the Black Canon of the Gunnison. 
Scenery? Well, rather! But the railroad 
does not give me any free passes, so I do not 
feel disposed to advertise their snap. But, 
say, Cleopatra’s Needle, and those blue pools 
of water filled with speckled and rainbow 
trout sure do look awful nice. I wish I could 
tell you about them and do the subject justice, 
but I never went to college. If an Izaack 
Walton could catch one fish in a thousand in 
this river, he would never have to lie about 



Beats Walkin 








360 


A DRUMMER’S EXPERIENCE 


fishing any more. A reformed fisherman once 
told me about catching a twelve-pound trout 
with a minnow hook and a line made of bast¬ 
ing thread. I have thought about this story 
several times. I do not believe he lied about 
the size of the fish, but he surely was mistaken 
about the hook and line. The reason I doubt¬ 
ed his judgment was possibly, because I re¬ 
membered the story of the real estate dealer 
in Arkansas who was showing a prospective 
buyer a piece of lan d in the swamps, where it had 
overflowed badly in the spring, and of course 
left the mark of the water on the tree-trunks. 
He was showing our friend over the land, in Oc¬ 
tober. The agent was expatiating about the 
good qualities of the land. At last the custom¬ 
er, pointing to a tree-trunk, inquired what 
made the mark about six feet from the ground. 
“Oh, that’s where the wild hogs have rubbed 
against it”, was the answer. The agent kept 
on talking, but noticed that his customer did 
not seem to take the same interest in the land 
thereafter. When they got back to town the 
agent said: 

“Well, how about it? Can I sell you some 
of that land?” 

“No, but I would like to have some of the 
hogs that rubbed against those trees.” 

Well, we will stop for lunch at Leadville, 
the highest incorporated city in America, 
over 10,000 feet—but isn’t the air nice and 
fresh? Well, why shouldn’t it be, it is filtered 


COLORADO 


361 


through snow nine months in the year. But for 
all that, the people in this town do not eat 
snowballs. They shovel gold dust like you 
would dirt in your backyard, and you know 
that kind of dirt is always marketable. No 
advertising necessary; no bargain days; no 
69c sales. 

Well, I promised you a ride on the '‘rubber 
neck ” car to Cripple Creek. All aboard. 

This takes us out by the smelters near 
Colorado Springs, where the gold is extracted 
from the ore by heat. But I guess you are 
not interested in the process of manufacture; 
all you want is to get hold of the eagle. Well 
when you do, don’t choke him till he squallsl 

I think there is room for all on the observa¬ 
tion car. Put on your overcoat and come out. 
This road is not as straight as some, as you 
will notice. It doubles back on its track like 
a scared jack-rabbit dodging a dog. Look 
down below you 50 feet there is where we 
came from. Now look 60 feet upward; that 
is where we are going, and still further above 
that is a third track perched on the preci¬ 
pices. We will soon be to the place where the 
conductor gives the engineer a match. This 
road-bed looks like it was melted and poured 
on the mountain side, or possibly it is follow¬ 
ing the path made by a streak of zig-zag 
lightning. It is quite different from the roads 
of olden days, when they all led to Rome. 
This is the '‘Short Line” between two cities 


362 


A DRUMMER’S EXPERIENCE 


of wealth! Here lays one at our feet, the 
“City of Sunshine.” Look where I point on 
Cascade and Wood avenues, do you see the 
residences? Croesus, Apollo, Mars and Ju¬ 
piter, all the big bugs,live there. “Oh, is that 
the arena where all the people are assembled?” 
No, that is North Park; the people are at¬ 
tending a band concert. Now look to the 
east about 20 miles distant on the plains, do 
you see that long dark object moving slowly 
to the southward? “Yes; what is it?” A 
herd of cattle going to that lake for water. 
“About how much are each of those cattle 
worth?” I do not know what a whole cow is 
worth! but I went down town yesterday and 
contracted for a steak to be delivered to mor¬ 
row; and I have got to sell some of you fellows 
a dozen books so that I can pay for it. 

Well, here we are. Now gaze down on the 
greatest gold camp in the world—production 
from the ten principal mines, SI, 162,234 for 
the month of March, 1913. I will let you look 
a while, but you must not touch it. You 
know you have always heard that rich people 
were rascals; and I do not want you to be con¬ 
taminated. Do you see that safety deposit 
bank down there? “No; I see nothing but the 
sign, ‘Portland Mine.’” Well, that’s it. 
The vaults are all under ground. There has 
never been a safe-blower that could break in 
her walls or work the combination. Some¬ 
times a porter gets away with a little bunch, 




Capitol Building, 


Denver, Colorado 



















A Western Pantry 






















COLORADO 


365 


but they pay no attention to that, they just 
call it “high-grading.” See those flat cars 
on the sidetrack, all loaded with ore. “Is 
that ore?” “Well, what is in that stuff any¬ 
way? ” Well, there is a substance that at one 
time they made into candle-sticks and orna¬ 
ments for kings’ thrones, but now it is turned 
over to the trusts. They set aside a small 
part of it to endow colleges, build libraries and 
send missionaries abroad. What becomes of 
the rest? Oh, that is used for “safe and sane 
legislation” and to educate the people to 
appreciate the high cost of living. 

Just as the train pulled out of Cripple 
Creek one of the party came up and said: 

“Old man, I’ll give you SI,000 for your 
sarcasm.” 

“Sold,” says I. 

But on investigation I found he wanted to 
pay on the installment plan then water the 
stock, and give me half of the new issue for 
the purchase price. 

Now I want to take all my audience to the 
Arkansas Valley, 50 miles east of Pueblo, in 
an auto. I want to show you the farming 
district of our state. We will stop here on this 
section line, where the north and south road 
crosses the cottonwood road. Look back and 
to the right; looks pretty good, eh? Sugar- 
beets—hundreds of piles;—to the right in 
front, cantaloupes—a hundred acres—yes,and 


366 


A DRUMMER’S EXPERIENCE 


ripe, too. Joe, get out and load up the auto. 
To the left in front,—cattle and hogs in green 
alfalfa up to their knees; and on the left be¬ 
hind we can count how many haystcks? Well 
I think there are 40 on that quarter section, 
with about 20 tons to the stack. Well, drive 
down another mile and let’s see about that 
poor farmer! 

Say, those steers do look nice. Fed on 
beet-bops, beet-pulp and alfalfa. And on this 
side—did you ever see so many bee-hives? 
He sure has got a lot. Do you know that we 
have enough honey in this state to sweeten the 
disposition of all the old maids in Christendom 
and enough cantaloupes to supply Chicago 
and New York,—enough alfalfa raised in one 
year to feed Barnum & Bailey’s circus for 
50 years—enough fruit to make every man 
in America a pie,—enough sugar from sugar 
beets to sweeten the coffee of America, the 
tea of England and the rice of China,—enough 
cattle to bankrupt the people if cut into 
steaks and sold at present prices,—enough 
iron rails to lay a track from coast to 
coast,—enough gold to give every man on the 
continent a watch chain,—enough “spuds” 
to feed the German army, cabbage big 
enough to make two messes for the elephant 
Jumbo,—mineral water enough at Manitou 
to give every man on the globe a drink, and 
a climate good enough for the inhabitants of 
the moon! 








Chapter XL 

CLIFF DWELLERS AND MOUND BUILDERS 

It is a very interesting study to investigate 
what effect the altitude and currents of air 
have on rainfall. There is a combination of 
circumstances which produces rainfall, de¬ 
pending upon the humidify as subjected to the 
different changes. 

As a rule, in low altitudes where the surface 
of the ground is broken by low wooded hills, 
the rainfall is great. The currents of air seem 
to meet on these hills, causing a change of 
temperature, usually trom warm to cold. This 
causes the moisture to become condensed and 
fall in the shape of ram. 

In the Eastern .part of the United States 
along the Atlantic, the rainfall is above the 
normal for the western hemisphere. This 
belt extends along the St. Lawrence river 
through Maine, Vermont, Massachusetts, 
New York, and over into Nova Scotia, 
New Brunswick, Quebec and Ontario, thence 
down the Great Lakes westward to Duluth. 

The Red River of the North and the Mis¬ 
sissippi valley have a normal supply of rainfall, 
but when you leave these streams and proceed 
westward you notice a marked difference in 





368 


A DRUMMER’S EXPERIENCE 


the precipitation. There is a wide belt of 
country extending from Saskatchewan into 
Montana, N. Dakota, S. Dakota, Western 
Nebraska, Western Kansas, Eastern Colorado, 
New Mexico, Western Texas and into Mexico; 
that is known as arid district. There is suffi¬ 
cient moisture in this semi-arid region to pro¬ 
duce a very nutritious grass called, “ Buffalo 
grass,” or “mesquite.” The two are very 
much alike. In this district are raised the 
Kaffir corn, maize, sugar cane, and Spanish 
peanuts, all of which do well and make a fine, 
nutritious forage crop for cattle and sheep. 
The ranchers through this section are pros¬ 
perous and healthy. The snow fall in the 
northern part of this district is usually heavy 
during the winter. This snow melting satu¬ 
rates the ground with moisture which is suffi¬ 
cient to start the grass in the spring. This 
added to the spring rains matures the grass 
which dries up about the 15th of August. 
This grass unlike other vegetation is more 
nutritious if it has died a natural death, than 
it is if cut and cured the same as other hay. 

Proceeding west we encounter more mois¬ 
ture as we reach the mountains. The rains 
seem to follow the mountain ranges. There 
are portions of the Rocky Mountains where 
there is a great deal of rain-fall. I have seen 
rain fall every day for two weeks during the 
summer 




CLIFF DWELLERS 


369 


When you reach the Pacific slope you strike 
it dry again. Here we have a belt similiar 
to the one east of the mountains, though more 
broken and wooded. This belt extends far 
into California and Oregon. California can 
be called a semi-arid district as there is very 
little rain-fall in the southern portion of the 
State. When you get to Watsonville and 
Boulder Creek region you get all the rain that 
you are looking for. Here the frogs and ducks 
carry umbrellas. It is nob as wet even here 
as in Oregon. In that country the horses are 
afraid of a man without a rain-coat on, and the 
moss on the north side of houses is sometimes 
an inch long. 

I have traveled in Western Alberta and 
Washington where the moss on the ground in 
the woods was four inches deep. On old de¬ 
cayed logs the moss was so deep that young 
trees had taken root and grown there. 

Fogs are very prevalent along these coasts 
though more so in some sections than in others. 
These fogs usually appear either in the morn¬ 
ing or at night, making things very disagree¬ 
able and chilly, especially if accompanied by 
winds. I have seen this fog so thick in Frisco, 
Galveston and St. John, N. B., that you would 
wish for a corn-knife to cut your way through. 
Still if you are a resident of one of these towns 
and are asked if the fogs are bad you will say, 
“ No, not as bad as it is in some other places.” 


370 


A DRUMMER’S EXPERIENCE 


In contrast to this fog I want to call your at¬ 
tention to a sign hanging in a hotel in Yuma, 
Arizona, which reads like this, “You don’t 
pay board unless the sun shines.” They are 
perfectly safe in putting up such a sign. The 
sunshine gets as monotonous in Yuma as the 
fog does in St. John. The man that named 
Arizona did not have to lie awake nights 
studying what to call the country. It gets 
so dry down there that the birds pick holes 
in the cactus to get water to drink. If a jack- 
rabbit should start across that country he 
would have to take a jug of water along with 
him. Still, there is a small amount of vegeta¬ 
tion to be seen on the ground and as strange 
as it may seem, man has always inhabited 
this region. Thousands of years before white 
men ever saw this country there were cities 
built here by the aborigines. Part of the 
castle of Casa Grand still stands and is sup¬ 
posed to be the oldest house in America. This 
was photographed by the Author after the 
government had taken steps to preserve it 
from the storms. There are also ruins of an 
old Aztec city within a few miles of this. It 
is evident that the people had their houses 
covered with adobe burned in the sun. After 
white men have played the vandal for sixty 
years there are still tons of this old tiling left 
on the ground and the painting on some of it 
is very good. 


CLIFF DWELLERS 


371 


Why these people should have preferred to 
live in this climate where water is so scarce 
is hard to say. At the time they lived here 
there were millions of acres of fine land with 
water and wood in abundance and where 
game was plentiful. The only reason that 
I can assign is that they must have been a 
weak tribe and not able to stand against their 
more powerful enemies in war; and therefore 
sought this country as a haven of refuge, just 
as the Cliff Dwellers did in Colorado and New 
Mexico. 

While I am on the subject of Cliff Dwellers 
I will tell you something of them. I cannot 
write a history of them. No one will ever be 
able to do that as very little is known of them. 
They must have lived a great many years ago 
from relics which have been found indicate 
that they were a prehistoric race. The skele¬ 
tons found in their caves do not look in any 
way like those of the North American Indian 
of the present day. The skull is very small, 
not larger than a man’s two fists, or a child’s 
head a month old. The skull is very flat on 
the back. No other race of people have a 
head similiar. If you should ever come to 
Colorado Springs you should visit the re¬ 
built Cliff Dwellers’ home near Manitou. It 
is exceedingly interesting. 

But to get back to my story. The houses 
were built on perpendicular cliffs, or nearly so, 


372 


A DRUMMER’S EXPERIENCE 


and about one story high with a few excep¬ 
tions. I remember seeing one, which was two 
stories high. More often they found caverns 
in the cliffs which had been made by the action 
of wind and water on the rock. In these caves 
the Cliff Dwellers found a haven of refuge. 
How they got into them is a mystery. There 
is only one way that could be suggested; which 
is, that they had a ladder which could be at¬ 
tached to the crags above or the trees, so that 
it could be taken down in case of attack by an 
enemy. This is a cheap way of building a 
fort, although a little inconvenient to the 
occupant. There have been a great many 
specimens collected from these caverns, mostly 
pottery and implements of war. However, I 
can assure you that there has been no thirteen 
inch cannon taken out of these subterranean 
forts. Indian corn has been found in these 
caves which seemed to be perfectly sound; 
but which would not germinate when planted. 

Next in interest to the Cliff Dweller comes 
the Mound Builder. Some people claim that 
they lived in the same age, and that the two 
races were enemies. This, however, is specula¬ 
tive. 

The mounds were built on the ground and 
were about 35 feet across and round in shape. 
They were generally built with two walls, one 
inside the other. The doors in the walls were 
not opposite one another. The enemy would 



CLIFF DWELLERS 


373 


have to go over one wall, and partly under 
the other, at an offset of about six feet. This 
you will see made a great fortification and 
one which would be pretty hard to storm. 

They must have cultivated the ground as 
signs of aqueducts have been found plastered 
with something which resembles modern ce¬ 
ment, though it must have been much better. 
The oldest Indians claim no knowledge of this 
race; or of anything handed down from genera¬ 
tion to generation that would give any clue. 

We can only say that they have passed 
away, like millions that have gone before, 
leaving no marks on the sands of time, leaving 
no history written by an indelible pen, leaving 
no heritage to the arts and sciencies, leaving 
no monuments erected to deeds and valor 
done. But has passed from memory, passed 
from the thoughts of man, passed from cares 
and trials; he fought the battle the same as 
you and I but lost! 





Shoshone Falls, Idaho 










Chapter XLI 

WHAT BROKE THE CAMEL’S BACK 

Under this heading I would like to discuss 
a good many things, but will content myself 
with treating on a few social evils. 

Chief among the unbearable burdens is the 
abuse of power and failure to carry out the 
pledges of office. The trouble with most 
political parties is that they make promises 
that are impracticable and cannot be carried 
out in detail. These promises are made to 
ride into office on. As soon as this end is 
gained, the steed is unhitched and turned loose 
on the commons. The people recognize it as 
being the one that was to carry their burdens. 
They halter him and he is advertised as a 
stray. Upon examination he is found to have 
all the brands of the different parties on him. 
He is adjudged an “outlaw” and exposed to 
public derision. 

Discontent and restlessness spring from 
three sources—special privileges, abuse of 
power and the desire for office. Charges are 
made, falsehood is prevalent, and pande¬ 
monium reigns supreme. 

One of the greatest faults of politics today 
is the effort on the part of the politicians to 


376 


A DRUMMER’S EXPERIENCE 


create more offices; so as to have salaried jobs 
for all the ward healers. The second great 
crime is the jobs worked by the generals of each 
party between themselves , to divide the avail¬ 
able offices among the ringsters of each party, 
keeping the principals of all parties, in office 
continually. These offices are considerd hered¬ 
itary by the leaders. They always manage 
to feed at the public treasury. These office¬ 
holders appeal to the prejudice of the masses 
to have certain laws enacted, or to establish 
certain institutions, supposedly for the bene¬ 
fit of state or city. These institutions have 
to be supported out of the public treasury. 
The people are taxed to maintain the so-called 
beneficiaries by the levying of bonds; and 
the entailment of burden, after burden, upon 
the unborn generations. These abuses have 
been carried on in almost every state in the 
union. These abuses can be counteracted; 
the law and the power lie within ourselves. 
If we submit the abuses, we should pay the 
penalty. 

The remedy. When a measure is intro¬ 
duced, look to the best interests of the 
country, try to forget selfish benefits that 
might accrue to you or your party; be an 
American. 

Vote for the men who have the interests of 
the country at heart. Do not support a 
man solely because he is a Democrat, a Re- 


WHAT BROKE THE CAMEL’S BACK 377 


publican or a Socialist; support him because 
he is a true American. Let the office seek the 
man. I do not believe in voting for men who 
are nominated by cliques and ringsters. 

Do you know that the camel’s back is 
broken very often in domestic life by straws? 
But many straws make a burden. People as 
a rule do not intentionally vex their families; 
it is usually thoughtless acts or words that 
irritate. Children are not expected to have 
the thoughtfulness of grown people, and for 
this reason they are allowed a great deal of 
latitude. In this respect, we often allow 
children to exceed the hounds of decency . We 
see children that have no respect whatever 
for their parents. They can hardly answer 
the parent without a slur or an insinuation. 
They take no heed whatever when advice is 
offered, but meet the parent with reproaches. 
Another straw to the burden borne by the 
parents, is the supplying of clothing of the 
finest quality for the child w r hile attending 
school; also their friends must be entertained, 
the child must have money for societies and 
associations, and as for jewelry, they must be 
decked out in this of course. If the child is 
asked to do a few chores , then he is always 
busy with lessons. The mother and father 
are made to slave for the child, and in return 
are often treated with contempt , and shunned 
in company. If the child has occasion to 


378 


A DRUMMER’S EXPERIENCE 


refer to the father, it is as the “old man” or 
the “governor;” if the mother is referred to, 
it is as the “old woman.” 1 suppose the re¬ 
formers would call this higher civilization . 1 

say, mothers, fathers, you are raising children 
that will disgrace your name. They may be 
found later behind prison walls and in houses 
of shame. Have a care! 

A pound of prevention is worth a ton of 
cure. 

Then there are the little differences between 
husband and wife. One or the other is in¬ 
clined to be “touchy” and take exception to 
almost everything; or possibly there is a 
little jealousy. Probably the complaining 
one does not know, or realize, that he, or she, 
is too exacting. At last it becomes a bore to 
the other, then disgusting and finally breeds 
contempt. This brings on the divorce court 
in double quick time. Sometimes the woman 
is too extravagant in dress and entertaining. 
This has driven thousands to bankruptcy and 
to forgery. Then again, the man is too sporty. 
He plays cards and attends the clubs too 
much, and maybe imbibes pretty freely the 
juice of the grape. Or perhaps both of them 
are too high-toned for their means. Two- 
thirds of the city people today are living from 
hand to mouth. They rent fine houses, keep 
servants, load down the table with luxuries 
as well as the necessities of life, keep an auto- 


WHAT BROKE THE CAMEL’S BACK 379 


mobile, and entertain on a large scale. Then 
they complain of the high cost of living. It 
is not the high cost of living so much as the 
cost of high living. The husband is working 
for a salary or is in business, but every dollar 
is spent as fast as they can get their hands on 
it. What is ahead of this kind of people? 
Easy enough to tell. When the man’s earn¬ 
ing capacity is exhausted they will run their 
credit as deep as possible, then sponge on their 
friends as long as the latter will stand for it; 
then the poor-house, degradation, social out¬ 
casts; no home, no friends—the last straw! 

FADS AND FANCIES 

The American people are progressive and I 
honor them for it, but there is a vast differ¬ 
ence between progress and fads; progress is 
the act of performing; fads, the act of imi¬ 
tating. The people are paying out more 
money every year in order to ape some one 
else than they are spending for the necessaries 
of life. 

Ladies and gentlemen of America, let me 
tell you that you are the best people on earth , 
if you will but rely on yourselves. You can 
lead the world; you have the originality; 
you have the talent; why not launch out and 
be somebody? Do not ape. Individuality 
gives you prestige. 


380 


A DRUMMER’S EXPERIENCE 


Why this state of affairs? If a banker gets 
an automobile the merchant must follow the 
mechanic and the clerk in hot pursuit. They 
will mortgage their homes to keep up with the 
procession. There are thousands of people 
today straining themselves to keep up with 
the best society and are positively living harder 
than the day laborer, bending every energy 
to make a good show. This is a sure way to 
break the camel's back. 


Chapter XLI1 
HIGH COST OF LIVING 

This is the greatest problem of the American 
people of today. “What is the chief cause of 
the high price of living?” Well, there are 
several, but a few of the paramount reasons 
are, first: combinations of every conceivable 
nature; combination between trusts and 
corporations of this country, with their allies 
in foreign countries. Our politicians and men 
high in office have catered to the vote and the 
money bags of the commercial interests and 
manufacturing companies, they have granted 
too many concessions, and the tariff has been 
so high that it has allowed them to rob the 
people. To add to this, the Union labor has 
exacted its toll of about fifty per cent more in 
wages, in the last ten years. Then comes the 
fault of the people themselves, extravagance 
in every form; they earn sixty dollars a month 
and spend eighty. Instead of people eating 
simple foods and buying them in bulk, they 
must have the finest canned fruits and veg¬ 
etables. You can go into a poor man’s back 
yard in the city or country and find enough tin 
cans to build a soldier’s monument! Then 
one other thing we must not forget is the 


382 


A DRUMMER’S EXPERIENCE 


middle man and his fifty per cent profit: 
this individual needs medical attention from 
the municipal authorities—he needs something 
to purge him and in addition to all this our 
public utility corporations have too much 
rope. It would be a good scheme to use the 
other end of the rope to hang some of them. 
I have decided that everybody is a thief 
except you and I, and sometimes I think you 
need watching! Now let us all hold up our 
hands, all together! and pledge ourselves, our 
homes and our sacred honor, that we will live 
at home and board at the same place for the 
next twelve months. If we do this we will 
be able to see the sky once more. Then 
there is one more, be sure to read this. Stop 
buying on a credit, if you have no money, do 
the next best thing—DO WITHOUT. If 
this extravagant mode of living is not checked 
we will land in the soup house. The people 
of the twentieth century have their minds 
and bodies poisoned; the mind is poisoned 
with false ideas of reform and theories. The 
body is poisoned by stuffing their carcass with 
everything that money can buy. They spend 
their time talking politics, hard times and 
abusing the laws and government. The Amer¬ 
ican people remind me of the negro’s mule. 
An old darkey in the south had a sick mule 
for quite a while, and it looked as though the 
mule would die. One day he was met by the 


HIGH COST OF LIVING 


383 


owner of the farm, the boss says: “Well, 
Rastas, how is the mule today?” “Well, I 
tell you boss, de mule is mighty bad off. I 
beliebs de mule am sick inside!” 

I do not mean to infer that the high cost of 
living can be averted altogether. I want to 
cite you to one instance where the price of 
meat was almost prohibitive. A traveling 
man was going down town and his wife told 
him to get a roast. On his way back home he 
stopped at the butcher shop, had his meat 
wrapped up, took out a dollar and paid for 
the meat and received a nickel back in change. 
He was talking to the butcher and rather 
forgot himself, he was fumbling with his 
pocket book and he thought he put the nickel 
back in the pocket book; but instead put it 
in his vest pocket. When he got home his 
wife said: “Charley,did you get the roast?” 
“Yes, I bought a roast.” He proceeded to 
feel in all his pockets for the meat, could not 
find it, but found the nickel, so he felt for his 
pocket book to put the money away; when he 
opened the book, you ought to have heard him 
halloo, “Susie, put on the frying pan!” 

One of the greatest causes of the high cost 
of living is the gulf between the producer and 
the consumer. This gulf must be abridged 
or a competing line of steamers put into 
service in competition to the old lines. The 
producer today is getting a very small per cenv 



384 


A DRUMMER’S EXPERIENCE 


of the immense profit we are paying on the 
necessities of life. The farmer sells his apples 
for fifty cents a box or sends them to a com¬ 
mission house. When the consumer in town 
buys them he pays SI.75 or $2.00. Ask the 
retail grocer what the matter is, he will lay 
it onto the commission man, the commission 
man lays it on the railroads, it has the appear¬ 
ance of a put-up job. The ranchman sells 
his steer in Salt Lake for five cents a pound, 
the steer is shipped to Chicago to give him a 
dignified funeral , he is then shipped back to 
Salt Lake and sold to the consumer from 
fifteen to forty cents a pound. If this is kept 
up for a few years some one will be owning oil 
wells in Texas! If the ranchman sells his 
steer in Salt Lake to the local packers, Mr. 
Packer pays Mr. Rancher Chicago prices less 
the freight. Tomorrow Mr. Local Butcher 
comes in and wants to buy the steer; Mr. 
Packer sells Mr. Butcher the steer at Chicago 
prices plus the freight. What do you know 
about that? One legitimate profit and two 
freights added. Who pays the freight? 

The cold-storage man buys eggs in April 
at $2.40 a case, puts them in storage and sells 
them in December at $9.00 a case, a Dutch¬ 
man's three per cent. We, at the present time 
have free hides, but shoes are higher than ever 
known. Is there anything rotten in Den¬ 
mark? The old cow is not to blame, but yet 


HIGH COST OF LIVING 


385 


if you should meet her I think she would 
apologize for what little part she took in 
robbing the American people! The man who 
packs the salmon, the apricots and cherries, 
gets a very small per cent of profit over labor 
and material, but when the consumer gets 
the can of cherries with its five cent wrapper 
and three cents worth of fruit, it cost him 
twenty-five cents in Uncle Sam’s money, at 
the ratio of sixteen to one, “Jones, he pays 
the freight.” 

The meek and inoffensive lamb is getting as 
hard a name as the one-eared mule. I 
went into a store last week to buy a pair of 
pants, the merchant showed me a pair that 
was priced $7.00. He said there was Wool in 
them and to prove his assertions succeeded 
in finding one or two threads, we weighed 
the pants, they weighed two pounds. I con¬ 
ceded that there was nearly a pound of wool 
in them, this at forty cents a pound, left a 
fairly good margin for the manufacturer and 
the merchant! The merchant was candid 
enough to admit that he suspected that the so- 
called sheep was in reality a wolf in disguise, 
seeking whom he might devour. 


Chapter XLIII 
OPPORTUNITY 

Opportunities, like objections, appear in 
different forms and under various conditions. 
Some people are always waiting for “ some¬ 
thing to turn up” and reveal hidden treasures, 
or bring to light an opening of unusual pro¬ 
portions; while others are waiting for the 
world to recognize in them some latent power 
that is above the normal; and still others are 
looking for the piles just ahead. They re¬ 
mind me of the two Irishmen that had just 
landed in America. They went for a walk the 
second morning after their arrival. One of 
them found three dollars lying in his path. 
He called out to his friend and said, “Say, 
Jimmie, I have found three dollars in a poil.” 
“Oh! never moind that Pat, come on, let’s 
look for bigger ones.” Your daily life, your 
thoughts, your actions, and your decisions 
are hourly preparing you for opportunities, 
and enabling you to judge as to the advis¬ 
ability of accepting or rejecting the proposals. 
Did you ever stop to think that almost every 
decision of your life is an opportunity, either 
implied or expressed. If you are looking for 
something to employ your time and bring you 


OPPORTUNITY 


387 


remuneration, do not be too particular as to 
the vocation. If you prove your worth it will 
lead to something better. If your employer 
detects that you are fastidious and hard to 
please, he naturally presumes that you are 
close and miserly. If you are penurious you 
will be exacting and a trouble maker. If you 
are stingy, you will cheat him on time, and he 
does not want you. Thousands of men lose 
jobs that are worth a great deal to them by 
being too exacting. Always consider that 
the proprietor is doing you a favor by giving 
you employment. There are others who 
would like to have your job. There is com¬ 
petition in labor, as well as in commerce. 
It is an established fact that some of our 
richest men at one time occupied menial 
positions. Porters in dry goods stores have 
risen to be proprietor or manager. Messenger 
boys have become the head of the firm. Book 
solicitors have more than once died million¬ 
aires. 

Opportunity is a flirt, and is not averse to 
being embraced by all daring men. When¬ 
ever you hear a man say that the world is 
down on him, and that he could do great 
things if he only had the chance. I would 
advise you not to give him the chance. He is 
usually able to DO YOU, by DOING NOTH¬ 
ING to earn his salary. This man is usually 
hedged by difficulties of his own making, 


388 


A DRUMMER’S EXPERIENCE 


though he says it is Providence or bad luck. 

Big opportunities for accomplishing great 
things are as scarce as presidential nomina¬ 
tions. Do not expect many in a lifetime, and 
if you let two or three pass, the rest will be 
as wise as an owl; they will not call to see 
you. Some are always clutching at op¬ 
portunity, but they are like the chicken thief 
that grabbed at the hen, only got the tail 
feathers. It is not sufficient only to strike 
the iron while it is hot; but to know when it 
is at white heat, and ready to strike. 

Opportunities, like the rainbow, are not 
viewed at the same angle, by all people. To 
the sluggish and non-appreciative, they are 
very dim; while to the wideawake and 
practical man, they are as bright as the sun, 
and a beacon by which he can strike. There 
are more opportunities of value lost than are 
ever accepted. Most people are interested 
in opportunities to invest their money. I 
do not want to influence anyone on this 
point. All I wish to do is to give my version 
of the matter, and speak in a general way. If 
through my influence someone should be dis¬ 
satisfied with the rewards of the investment, 
they would be inclined to censure me for lead¬ 
ing them into a nonproductive enterprise. 
Therefore, use your own judgment, but in 
making your decision try to size up conditions 
and localities, markets and available supply. 


OPPORTUNITY 


389 


No one can be a competent judge for you, in¬ 
asmuch as they do not know your likings, your 
disposition, your surroundings or your finan¬ 
cial ability. 

This is a topic that is difficult, from the 
fact that what is an opportunity for “A” 
is not an opportunity for u B.” Opportunities 
are usually open for the man who is in a 
position to accept such a proposition Then 
what seems an opening to one man does not 
appeal to another. One man has time and 
money to develop a proposition, and another 
has not; but generally speaking, there are 
more opportunities in a new country then in 
an old one. In the West we have tracts of 
land to develop; canals to take out from the 
large streams and lakes; reservoirs to build; 
mining enterprises—coal, copper, silver and 
gold; millions of feet of lumber to cut; stone 
to quarry; sheep and cattle industries; mixed 
farming, which includes raising alfalfa, bees, 
hogs, goats, together with cattle and sheep; 
then there are the orchard crops—peaches, 
apples, apricots, plums, etc.; also the truck 
crops—strawberries, celery, turnips, etc. As 
for field crops we have hay, oats, corn, wheat, 
Spanish peanuts, maize, kaffir corn and the 
world-famed sugar beet. Almost anything 
will grow in Colorado, if you can get the water 
on the ground. Some of our products are 
known from the Atlantic to the Pacific. You 


390 


A DRUMMER’S EXPERIENCE 


have heard of the Rocky Ford Cantaloupes. 
Yes, Colorado is the home of that famous 
melon, but I wish to say that Rocky Ford has 
no monopoly on it. The flavor is just as 
fine if grown in Canon City or Grand Junction. 
They are shipped out of here each year by 
hundreds of car loads. As for apples and 
peaches, we can beat the world; then come the 
Greeley potatoes. That means a large scope 
of country that produces the famous “spuds.” 
We have what is known as the Divide potato, 
that is often preferred to any other variety. 
They seem to fall to pieces in your mouth and 
often weigh three pounds each; and cabbage, 
one often fills a small wash tub. Talk about 
opportunities, what do you want for your 
money? Come and see! As for opportunities 
in other states, there is not a state in the 
Union in which there are not opportunities, 
and right at your door; but it often requires 
nerve to develop them. It requires some 
study to ferret out and locate good opportuni¬ 
ties. The industries of the country are so 
varied, that opportunities are to be found in 
every state and almost every country. Get 
in touch with your business men and inquire 
where you can invest your money to good 
advantage. They will often give you pointers. 
Rea) estate loans are safe, if you get first 
mortgage on the property. You should have 
the title investigated before letting out the 


OPPORTUNITY 


391 


money. See that there is no deed of trust, 
judgment or loans on record against the prop¬ 
erty, and that all taxes are paid. The exam¬ 
ination should be paid for the borrower. In 
the South there are good lands to invest in 
and they are usually cheap. There is timber 
to sell and lumber and ties to manufacture. 
In the East there are manufacturing estab¬ 
lishments that have bonds and stocks in their 
factories to sell. Beware of real estate in the 
East, except in the large cities; in the North 
there are industrial securities, and in Canada, 
good lands. In the West there are a great 
many enterprises. Beware of real estate in¬ 
vestments in the extreme West as values are 
inflated. There is a fine opening in the 
Northwest in lands, where your money should 
be perfectly safe and should make you a good 
dividend. 


Chapter XLIV 
Y0SEM1TE VALLEY, ETC. 

There is no question but the present forma¬ 
tion of this old earth is vastly different from 
what it was a hundred thousand years ago. 
Visit almost any part of the country and you 
will see indications of volcanic upheavels and 
washing away by mountain torrents, or, worse 
still, the slipping or sinking of the earth. 
Some of these changes may have been ac¬ 
complished gradually and without any great 
commotion, while in other cases it must have 
been by terrific and appalling physical dis¬ 
turbances. 

In more recent years there was a depression 
of the ground in West Tennessee, sinking a 
vast area of level country. This soon filled 
with water and is known as Reelfoot Lake. 
The author saw this lake thirty years ago 
and at that time there was an immense forest 
of dead trees standing in the water from ten 
to thirty feet deep. 

Another remarkable case is the depression 
in Death Valley, California, where the whole 
face of the country has sunk some 400 feet 
below the sea level. The Colorado river flows 
near this valley, but on a plain 700 feet 





City Park, Denver 
















Indian Woman and Papoose 













Y0SEM1TE VALLEY, ETC. 


395 


higher. A few years ago there was an irrigat¬ 
ing ditch taking water out of the Colorado. 
The workmen by some means left a crevice in 
the bank. The powerful flood was not long 
in locating this crevice and proceeded at once 
to cut its way through, for weeks and months 
pouring its contents into this mammoth de¬ 
pression, forming the Saltan Sea. 

In this valley I once saw the most wonder¬ 
ful mirage that I ever had the pleasure of w it¬ 
nessing. I saw on my right a full-rigged sail¬ 
ing vessel, with sails spread and appearing to 
be wafted along by the wind, and on the left 
of this ship, apparently one hundred feet 
away, w r as as complete a Japanese pagoda as 
I ever saw pictured on paper. This pagoda 
seemed to be about 100 feet high, or about the 
same height as the ship. This illusion lasted 
about fifteen minutes and then faded almost 
at once and assumed the form of a vast lake, 
whose waters looked as real as Lake Superior 
ever did. You caught yourself looking for 
cattle coming for water and wondered why 
you did not see flocks of ducks and geese 
hovering over it, with the Izaak Waltons 
sitting on the banks angling for the speckled 
beauties. 

This story may sound fishy to an Eastener. 
It is not unlikely he thinks I had some of 
Duffy’s Pure Malt, but that is a mistake. I 
never saw any that far west. If you took on a 


396 


A DRUMMER’S EXPERIENCE 


cargo at El Paso it would be exhausted before 
you got this far ou your journey. 

It is said that in 1849 the pioneers almost 
perished for water, following these mirages 
for miles and thinking they surely could not 
be deceived, only to give up the chase at last 
in disgust. 

The explanation of the mirage is that it is 
an unusual refraction of the lower strata of 
the atmosphere, causing remote objects to be 
seen double, as reflected in a mirror or sus¬ 
pended in the air; but I doubt if this defini¬ 
tion is always correct, as oftentimes there are 
no objects to reflect, there being a vast plain 
as far as the eye can see. 

Now let’s leave our train and take carriages 
for the Yosemite. Here we find the most 
wonderful depression on the American con¬ 
tinent. This valley is ten miles long and two 
miles wide, the surrouding walls being from 
3000 to 5000 feet high and almost perpen¬ 
dicular. Here lovers of nature can lose them¬ 
selves in admiration as they stand upon these 
stupendous cliffs and drink in the beauties of 
the picturesque landscape lying at your feet 
like the depths of Eternity. Now cast your 
eye on the opposite cliffs. What is more 
beautiful than the pure mountain streams 
leaping from precipice to precipice, bounding 
into foaming cascades, gliding down among 


YOSEM1TE VALLEY, ETC. 


397 


the foliage of trees, to at last come to rest in 
beds of roses. 

But the crowning glory of it all is the won¬ 
derful falls of the Yosemite. Nature has 
here painted in living colors a scene that is 
fit to hang in the gallery of the gods. The 
immense volume of water, rushing with the 
speed of a rocket, bounds over precipitous 
cliffs 2,500 feet in its mad career; but divided 
into three sheer jumps, thus giving you time 
to drink in the beauties of each, while thrilled 
with an ecstasy of delight. 

This picturesque valley is located on the 
western slope of the Sierra Nevada mountains 
in California. If I only had it near New York 
City and had a fence around it!—No! I would 
not sell it. No one would have money enough 
to buy. 

While we are in California we will pay our 
respects to the land of roses, fleas and earth¬ 
quakes. I would not dare go to that celestial 
clime and talk that way unless I had on steel 
armor and was accompanied by a bodyguard. 
You are at liberty to talk about the roses all 
you please, but not about the unmention¬ 
ables. I don't think the fleas are any bigger 
here than anywhere else, but they have more 
energy than Coxey’s army. A tourist once 
complained to his landlord about the fleas and 
his complaint was received with indignation. 

“I will have you know, sir, there is not a 


398 


A DRUMMER’S EXPERIENCE 


single flea in my house,” said the landlord. 

Right you are, my lord, they are all married 
and have big families. 

The Californians are all right. They are 
like a cat. If you toss him into the air he 
will light on his feet. A Californian is op¬ 
timistic to the last. He reminds me of the 
Dutchman who made a mistake on the witness 
stand and swore the horse was 16 feet high 
when he intended to say 16 hands. On cross 
examination he was asked if he had not made 
a mistake, that the horse w r as really 16 hands 
instead of 16 feet, and he answered: “No, sir; 
I swore it once and Fit swear it again.” Well, 
they have a good old-man’s climate—no 
wind to make him sneeze, no frost to chill 
his blood, sand in abundance to plant him in. 
Now if they only had the water to keep the 
flowers alive! 

It is nice to be surrounded in our declining 
years by the beauties of life—flowers and 
fruit—angelic food—but who ever made a 
Johnny-cake out of them! If your soul 
yearns for poetry and music you can find it 
in the far golden west. If it is hog and 
hominy you crave, then stop east of the 
Rockies. 

In the San Joaquin Valley the luscious 
grapes hang in clusters. You can travel for 
miles and see nothing but vineyards and dry¬ 
ing-kilns. Here are the great raisin fields of 


YOSEM1TE VALLEY, ETC. 399 

America. While the land is adapted to a 
great many fruits and vegetables, the grape 
seems to be the favorite product. Land is 
high-priced in this valley and is about all re¬ 
claimed that can be, as water is not" very 
abundant. In the upper end of the valley 
are the great oil fields, near Bakersfield. Here 
is the place where men in days gone by WENT 
TO BED PAUPERS AND AWOKE MIL¬ 
LIONAIRES. 

Along the coast, near San Luis Obispo, you 
enter the English walnut orchards. This 
seems to me to be the best farming proposition 
in the state. Of course, it is considerable 
work to spray trees, cultivate and smudge; 
but still the crop is reasonably sure. 

East and South of Los Angeles is the great 
orange belt. This part of the State has an 
even climate and the people have all found if 
out. When a saint dies in California they 
all shake their heads and say they are afraid 
he has gone to a WORSE CLIMATE. I do 
not know that this saying would be applicable 
to the San Joaquin Valley. I heard a resident 
tell about hoeing in his garden. He laid 
down his hoe and went in to lunch. When he 
came back to resume his labors, on picking up 
his hoe the heat of the handle blistered his 
hands. To what country did the saint go? 










Chapter XLV 

OSTRICH, FEATHERS AND DREAMS 

The Ostrich is a native of Africa, and is 
found there in great numbers. There are 
two colors of them: one is nearly black, but 
the most common is of a blackish gray, re¬ 
sembling, somewhat, the domestic goose. As 
regards his degree of intelligence, travelers 
vary greatly in their opinions. Livingstone 
evidently did not accredit any great amount 
of intelligence to his lordship. He has one 
very peculiar habit, if he is grazing in a valley 
with no barriers on any side to hinder his 
movements. Now, if he is approached from 
the windward, and the huntsman makes a 
feint to head him off, he will invariably 
turn Toward the hunter to make his escape 
windward; and he will not deviate from his 
course, often coming near enough to be 
speared by the native. The female usually 
lays her eggs from June to October. If a 
Bushman discovers a nest, and he wishes to 
be supplied from time to time, he has to 
exercise some strategy. He will procure a 
stick and fish the eggs out of the nest; then 
the bird goes on laying more—the wish of the 
thief. 




Sunshine and Flowers. Los Angeles 





















OSTRICH, FEATHERS AND DREAMS 403 


It has been stated that the female deposits 
the eggs in the sand, and relies on the sun for 
their vivification. This is erroneous. This 
theory was evident^ advocated the natives 
because they had found the nest, when near 
the time of hatching, unguarded by its pro¬ 
prietors. The eggs undoubtedly retain heat 
for a long period of time, and the parent birds 
go off in search of food, very much as do our 
domestic fowls. The eggs furnish the Bush¬ 
man meat, and the shells supply him with 
plates, and water jars. The Batkalahari are 
a peaceful tribe, and in order to protect them¬ 
selves from their war-like neighbors, select 
their homes far from water. They collect 
the ostrich eggs and make a small hole in one 
end. They now go to a seepage place in the 
sand, and by an ingenious method, suck the 
water up and deposit it in the shells. A story 
is told of a party of an adjoining tribe that 
descended on a Bushman village. The visit¬ 
ing party were almost famished for water. 
They demanded a supply of water, but were 
told that they (the Bushman) never drank 
water. The visitors watched in vain, for 
days to try to find the supply, but could not 
locate it. At last they cried, “Yak! Yak! 
these are not men, let us go.” Most likely 
the Bushman had a supply of water in 
ostrich eggs, hidden underground, that he 


404 


A DRUMMER’S EXPERIENCE 


managed to draw on without being detected 
by his visitors. 

When the ostrich chicks are first hatched, 
they are about as large as half-grown chickens. 
The old parent bird is something of a strat¬ 
egist. If you happen upon the mother, 
unawares, when she has her babies with her, 
she gives a signal; the little ones duck under 
the grass and foliage, while the mother 
hobbles off like she was lame. She wants you 
to follow her, and by this means, protects the 
young ones. 

The ostrich has a foot something like our 
domestic chicken, though the middle toe is 
much larger than the other two, it being as 
large as a child’s wrist. This toe is his 
weapon if he gets into a difficulty. He 
doubles it up like you would your fist, stands 
on one foot and strikes from the shoulder, 
like Jack Johnson. 

The powdered egg shell is considered fine 
eye salve, by the natives of Africa. They 
also powder it and use it for a medicine in the 
form of a drench for cattle, and claim it is 
very fine. The ostrich has never been known 
to have dyspepsia. They wifi eat anything: 
marbles, buttons, or anything they can 
swallow. There is a case on record where an 
ostrich swallowed a whole family of young 
muscovy ducks, one after another, despite the 
protest of the mother. 


OSTRICH, FEATHERS AND DREAMS 405 


When a flock of ostriches are on the run, 
they make as much noise as a herd of horses; 
their feet striking the ground very hard. He 
is supposed to be the strongest bird on the 
globe. He can carry an ordinary sized man 
on his back for a short distance without any 
inconvenience, though if he took a notion to 
eat, which he is liable to do, you might come 
off the perch. 

Partner Wanted:—“A bright young man 
with some money, can iearn something to his 
advantage by addressing the undersigned— 
no experience necessary .” 1 have an ideal 

place picked out for the ostrich farm, “big 
profits guaranteed,” everybody wants it. 
All I ask is for the partner to put up the 
money, 1 will furnish the pure air, observation 
and nerve. My plan is to locate near a 
tourist city and to stock the ranch with four 
thousand birds —now advertise an ostrich 
show. The people will come in swarms, we 
can get twenty-five cents admission from the 
home people, and fifty cents from the tourists; 
now we can surely get a hundred people a 
day to the show (especially if we advertise 
the feathers); now 80 tourists, at 50 cents 
apiece, is $40.00 and 20 home people, at 25 
cents a head, is $5.00, making $45.00 per 
day. We will advertise a “QUADRILLE for 
Sunday afternoon, in which 2,000 ostriches 
will take part.” The people will turn out 


406 


A DRUMMER’S EXPERIENCE 


like going to a circus parade, if you want an 
option on the gate receipts this afternoon it 
will cost you $1,000. Well $1,270 a week is 
not so bad and then to think there is no ex¬ 
pense to run the farm, the ostriches pick 
enough buttons off the visitors clothes to keep 
them as fat and sleek as the general manager 
of a Western Railroad. But the gate re¬ 
ceipts, if I figure correctly, would only amount 
to $65,040 a year. Do not let this excite you, I 
have something better in store for you. This 
is a business chat I can assure you is all right, 
as I have taken special pride in investigating 
same. I got the tip trom a man in Arizona, 
where they have reduced the business to a 
science. Railroad stocks and steel bonds are 
not to be considered. As long as the ladies 
persist in making “ birds of themselves/’ I will 
furnish the feathers. To the man who has 
bought an ostrich feather no explanation is 
needed, the vision of the bill in his midnight 
slumbers, haunts him still! INo experience 
necessary to handle this deal, any child that 
has been through the third grade can figure 
that if the feathers from one ostrich brings 
$35.00, the feathers from 4,000 ostriches will 
bring 4,000 times $35.00 which is $140,000; 
now this added to the gate receipts gives 
$205,040 per. A man that would not go into 
this deal would not buy oil stock! 


Chapter XLVI 

ST. LOUIS AND OMAHA CYCLONES 

By some means, I hardly know how, it 
had been impressed on my mind that all 
cyclones were always accompanied by a 
funnel shaped cloud; but on the 27th day of 
May, 1896, I learned my mistake. About 4 
p. m. I was standing on the corner of Pine 
and Ninth streets, St. Louis, Mo., and my 
atten tion was called to the peculiar appearance 
of the elements, I do not remember ever hav¬ 
ing seen anything like it before, or since. The 
clouds seemed to be very low and muddy 
looking, and to be in rapid motion. The best 
I can describe, they resembled a pot of boiling 
muddy water, and there was very little wind 
blowing. We had no other indications of the 
mighty catastrophe that was about to descend 
on us. About this time I took the street car 
for home, about five miles distant in the 
western part of the city. Before we had gone 
ten blocks it grew suddenly dark and the 
wind seemed to corne from all directions, 
blowing down chimney tops and signs. Our 
car stopped suddenly and we heard a roaring 
sound, in a few minutes the rain began to 
pour, but we in this locality never dreamed 


408 


A DRUMMER’S EXPERIENCE 


that the city was being visited by the greatest 
cyclone in the history of America, nor did we 
realize the great amount of damage that was 
done, until the next morning. About 9 a. m. 
I started out on an inspection tour. I walked, 
for this was about the only way you could get 
along the streets. Telegraph poles, trees, 
fences, signs, house tops, brick and mortar 
were everywhere. 

The cyclone struck the town about the foot 
of Cass Ave., and followed down the river to 
the Eads’ bridge, and Ihen turned somewhat 
to the west and pursued a south westerly 
course, carrying death and desolation in its 
path. No wall was strong enough to with¬ 
stand its force though often times was very 
partial. And in its course played every 
peculiar prank, twisting out the sides of houses, 
taking off roofs and setting them down intact 
in the same yard, and some times down on the 
same house they had originally covered. 
And in some cases, the most frail buildings 
were left standing, and near by it took the 
church or fine stone front residence. The 
parks were simply wrecked, not a tree was 
left standing and it seemed that no two trees 
were blown in the same direction. 

Man never realizes how small and insignifi¬ 
cant he is until he finds himself in the grip 
of a cyclone, or an earthquake. Man in his 
normal moments prides himself on his ability, 



Freaks of Cyclone, St. Louis, May 27, 1896 
























































ST. LOUIS AND OMAHA CYCLONES 411 


his knowledge and his power, but in an instant 
he finds himself stranded and alone, as weak 
as a babe and stripped of his reason, tumbling 
like a sheep before his shearer. When we 
look around us and see our homes and other 
possessions which we have spent a lifetime 
to accumulate, swept away in a moment we 
are forced to reflect how transient is man and 
all of his efforts. It shows us further the dif¬ 
ference in possessions, the superiority of 
knowledge and learning over worldly goods. 
Fire, earthquakes and tornadoes in a few 
moments can make us paupers as far as wealth 
is concerned, but it cannot rob us of knowl¬ 
edge and experience. Neither can a thiel in 
the night break through and steal knowledge, 
aspirations and aims. 

There is one faculty of man that has been 
cultivated to such an extent that it has be¬ 
come abnormal and domineering. The over¬ 
whelming and insatiate desire to accumulate 
wealth has such a hold on the people of 
America that they are straining every nerve, 
and putting forth every effort to amass large 
fortunes that cannot be utilized to advantage 
during their lives. Excessive wealth never 
did and never will, bring happiness or con¬ 
tentment; it is absolutely and undeniably 
the reverse. Wealth brings cares, and often 
enemies and jealousy. Great wealth left to 
our posterity is a hindrance and a handicap, 


412 


A DRUMMER’S EXPERIENCE 


and more often proves a detriment than an 
advantage. Thousands of young men and 
women have made wrecks of themselves and 
their fortunes, disgraced beyond redemption 
by having too much wealth at their command. 
If the property loss in St. Louis had been ex¬ 
pended in securing educations for the rising 
generation it would have equipped every child 
in the city with a business training which 
would have been a safe deposit bank the re¬ 
mainder of their lives. Would it not be ad¬ 
visable to equip the mind to wrestle with the 
problems of life, rather than lay aside our 
hoards for. future generations to quarrel 
over, and actually criticise you for not leaving 
them a greater amount. 

It is every man’s duty to lay by a certain 
amount of his earnings; to be prepared for a 
rainy day or old age. Do not trust to luck, or 
to a worse thing, your friends, to take care 
of you in your declining years. 

The recent cyclone at Omaha on Easter 
Sunday, March, 1913, once more focuses upon 
us the terrible calamity and havoc wrought by 
wind. About five o’clock p. m. of that day 
the clouds grew a muddy black, and seemed 
to drop like a pall over the city. Anyone 
who has ever seen a cyclone cloud will never 
forget how they look, there is a peculiarity 
about them that seems to stamp death on its 
face; destruction visible in every line. There 





xt&r 0 * 


***** 










•:•»•. ■'■ 


x >■-' .<-;t 


m 




Implements Piled in Heaps and Scattered for Blocks, St. Louis Cyclone, May 27, 1896 























































ST. LOUIS AND OMAHA CYCLONES 415 

was a gentleman on board a train that was 
nearing the city, when he cast his eye on the 
descending black and yellow mass that was 
to carry death and destruction in its path, re¬ 
marked to his companions: “We are doomed/' 
and within two minutes they could see a pile 
of dust, and the houses flying in the air ahead 
of them. W 7 ater and fire are equally as de- 



Harvest of Death, Omaha, March 23, 1913 

structive as wind but they as a rule give you 
warning before the final crash or death blow is 
delivered; but wind comes like a stroke of 
lightning, does its deadly work and is gone 
inside of a minute, leaving millions of dollars 
worth of property piled up in heaps and 
scattered beyond recovery. Then in its wake 
almost invariably comes the demon fire, to 
consume the remnants. And in Omaha the 





416 


A DRUMMER’S EXPERIENCE 


saddest of it all is, there were one hundred and 
fifty victims lying crushed and bleeding be¬ 
neath its iron heel. Man can protect himself 
against lightning and divert the waters of the 
rushing flood; but who can devise means to 
protect us frem the uncontrollable and un¬ 
expected cyclone; here is a ghost of death 
that haunts the human race. I was in Okla- 



The Work of a Minute, Omaha, March 23,1913 

horn a a few years ago and in passing a stair¬ 
way to the cellar of a hotel, I saw this sign, 
“This way to the cyclone cellar.” I called 
another traveler’s attention to it, he remarked: 
“That is the work of some practical joker I 
guess.” No, that is not the work of a prac¬ 
tical joker, but of a practical idea, in the 
portions of the country where the altitude is 
low and it is subjected to sudden changes of 





ST. LOUIS AND OMAHA CYCLONES 417 


temperatures and hot waves, there is likely 
to occur a cyclone at any time when the at¬ 
mosphere becomes superheated and rises 
suddenly, leaving a vacuum for the colder 
air to rush into. It is claimed that in the 
Rocky Mountain regions there has never 
been, and can never be, a cyclone, as the air 
does not become hot enough to rise rapidly 
causing a commotion of the air. But be 
the cause what it may, here is the most 
dreaded force of nature; the force that sweeps 
away the necessities of life, and leaves in its 
stead poverty and ruin, widows and orphans. 
No wonder humanity stands aghast when 
they see the hand of destiny shrouded in the 
restless fiery elements, ready to descend like 
the lightnings bolt and claim its harvest of 
destruction and death. 





W A 

1® fm 

FT '1 

ss1‘ ' : rm gr aggEra 


'i ' ::A ' 

i . r |53E 

HI l / 

11^ 

^ y. 

Jfip • ? ■’•»'» \bB 5QL fi» ' 

w 1 v r,B 

HykvK. \y^^WjTT5»! 









Strength Defied. Iron Cupola to Left, on Ground, St. Louis Cyclone, May 27, 1896 





























Chapter XLVII 
WOMAN SUFFRAGE 

This is a subject which is attracting a great 
deal of attention at this time. There are able 
men and women on both sides, and eloquent, 
logical and convincing arguments can be 
made, both for and against the principles in¬ 
volved. This brings to mind a law-suit I 
remember. A man was being prosecuted for 
stealing a sheep. The defendant had no 
attorney. The State’s Attorney got up, looked 
sarcastically at the prisoner and began his 
harangue. He made a very eloquent and con¬ 
vincing plea, and when he had finished the 
prisoner’s wife and children were in tears, 
and the prisoner looked like he had stolen a 
dozen sheep instead of one. The Judge be¬ 
came sorry for the prisoner’s family, and 
turning to the State’s Attorney said, “It is too 
bad that this man has no attorney. Can’t you 
get up and make a few remarks to pacify the 
family BEFORE I IMPOSE SENTENCE?” 
The lawyer got up and eulogized the defend¬ 
ant, critized the State for dragging a man of 
his standing into court, picked the evidence 
to pieces, and wound up by saying that the 
sheep had gotten lost, and wandered into the 


420 


A DRUMMER’S EXPERIENCE 


prisoner’s pen. That the prisoner threw a 
stick at a jaybird, and at that moment the 
sheep jumped in the way and, unfortunately 
for it but with no discredit to the prisoner, 
lost its life. This was too much for the judge. 
He reversed his decision. 

The American mind is inclined to sympathy, 
especially when there is a woman in the case, 
therefore the women have the best of the 
argument. If all women could be induced 
to take an interest in elections, and would 
take the time, and pains to study the economi¬ 
cal and financial effect of all proposed 
measures, there is no doubt but that woman’s 
suffrage would be beneficial. But it is a 
fact that the best educated and most refined 
women abhor politics; and if they live in a 
State where they are allowed to vote, they go 
to the polls reluctantly, do not post them¬ 
selves, and vote for measures and men be¬ 
cause their husbands instructed them to. If 
their husbands cannot influence them, their 
preacher can, so you have all your measures 
voted on by the men after all. 

I live in a state where they have woman’s 
suffrage. When there is a bill before the 
people where the public morals are involved, 
the women will vote on the side of morality. 
On the whole I see no serious objection to 
women voting, except in a few individual 
cases, and that is where the individual is 


WOMAN’S SUFFRAGE 


421 


seeking some political favor. Now, she will 
stoop to petty chicanery, she will be a ward- 
healer. In the eyes of all refined people she 
steps out of her womanly sphere and bids 
farewell to the refining influence that makes 
her the perfect creature of a Divine Hand. 
Now, if women would only contend for the 
ballot in its purity, and not degrade them¬ 
selves by slumming in politics, they would ex¬ 
perience no trouble to gain suffrage. We are 
told that women will elevate the ballot. So 
far, so good. I have no doubt that the ma¬ 
jority of suffragettes have good and high 
aspiration, but they are on treacherous ground , 
yes, quicksand. Did you ever stop to think, 
that the professional politician will stcop lower 
than any other class of men? Can women be 
honest and be subjected to the same tempta¬ 
tions? If she falls there is no one to pity. 

It is said that woman has been imposed 
upon, and denied her rights by man. Let us 
see, how does a woman wield her influence 
and gain her point? By her kindness, by her 
submission, and by her tender care. Never 
can she gain prestige by antagonism and de¬ 
fiance. Men rule the world, but who rules 
the men? Now ladies, about face, stop break¬ 
ing window glasses and saying saucy things. 
Use your influence through man, but do not 
step out of your sphere. Ask for the fran¬ 
chise to vote only in matters of education 


422 


A DRUMMER’S EXPERIENCE 


and moral issues, and all men will be with you 
heart and soul. 1 will carry a banner myself, 
and plant it upon the ramparts of progress. 
Now, ladies, do not say that men are selfish, 
and w r ant all the spoils, and above all things, 
do not accuse the author of being a politician. 
I am a peaceful, law-abiding citizen; but if 
you want a fight on your hands just call me a 
politician. You may say that all people 
should take an interest iu politics. That is 
right, and I do. But I am not under the 
dictation and influence of political bosses and 
yellow journalism. I study the character of 
the different men on the tickets and vote ac¬ 
cording to my judgment. If you could see 
my ticket before it is deposited, you would 
think that an old hen had been trying to make 
a nest of it. 

If the ladies will give us a bond, and se¬ 
curity, that they will not be controlled by 
sentiment, by husbands or w r ard-healers, then 
we say give them what is called liberty! 


Chapter XLV11I 
EXECUTIVE ABILITY 

Men and women are born with certain 
characteristics, often times these are in¬ 
herited, but in more than half the cases 
you cannot trace their origin. The only thing 
you can say is that their temperament, and 
organs of the head, influence each other to 
such an extent as to produce certain results. 
Now these organs can be developed and con¬ 
trolled by proper training, and by restraining 
some organs, and developing others. The 
trouble with most people is, they do not know 
their own weakness or power. They do not 
analyze their thoughts and actions; they do 
not take determined stands with themselves; 
they do not persistently curb their tastes and 
passions; they do not try to develop their 
latent talents in a direction that will be of 
lasting benefit to them. 1 take the position 
that man is the creature of circumstances to 
a great extent; but these circumstances can 
be largely controlled by his will power. The 
science of phrenology should be taught in 
every school, it is one of the deepest studies 
known to man. "We- are born with certain 
developments of the head, but these can be 


424 


A DRUMMER’S EXPERIENCE 


changed or varied, with the proper treatment. 
If a child has a mean, destructive disposition 
and he is allowed to associate with other boys 
that are equally as bad, or worse, he will die 
in the penitentiary or on the gallows. If the 
same boy is taken in hand early in life by his 
mother and father and properly trained, trained 
to think, trained to reason, do not be too ex¬ 
acting with him, give him some liberties, but 
be firm with him and show him the evil 
effect of a mean disposition, keep him away 
from boys that are post graduates in pure and 
unadulterated meanness. The parents are 
nearly always to blame for a boy’s or girl’s 
downfall. If your child is caught red-handed 
doing a mean thing, do not shield it . By so 
doing you are getting yourself and child both 
into trouble, you are degrading your own 
family, you are planting trouble for the time 
being out of sight, but it will soon spring up 
and yield a bounteous harvest. It was a wise 
provision, that decreed that a child should be 
under the parents care until it was twenty-one 
years old. A child that has the proper train¬ 
ing until he is twenty-one, very rarely goes 
wrong in later years. In this same con¬ 
nection, we might treat of decision. Teach 
your child to reason, teach him to think from 
cause to effect. All degradation, all knowl¬ 
edge and power is brought about by improper, 
or proper thinking. The human mind con- 


EXECUTIVE ABILITY 


425 


trols the world, but what controls the mind? 
The will power, the determination, the am¬ 
bition, consequently people form their own 
habHs, and seal their own destiny, but you say 
how am I to direct my thoughts and my de¬ 
cisions? Every human being has power with¬ 
in himself to say yes, or no. Every one has 
power to take a stand, but before he takes that 
stand, let him reason what the effect will be, 
is it better for himself, is it better for hu¬ 
manity? When he has figured this out, he 
is prepared to stand on firm footing, he is 
afraid of no man or his arguments; neither 
can he be turned by opinion of others nor by 
sentiment. Every man builds his own castle. 
Some build sod, others stone, and a great 
percentage build of glass, consequently they 
cannot bear for their neighbors to sling mud. 
It requires considerable training to be able 
to make a decision, accurately and correctly. 
I will lay down one or two rules, first: be 
honest with yourself. Second: be guided 
somewhat by precepts, though it is dangerous 
to carry this to excess, by so doing it may 
make you too conservative. Third: be guided 
by surrounding and existing conditions. 
Fourth: learn to rely on yourselj ; if you seek 
advice, try to do it in a way that the party 
giving it will not know for what purpose you 
seek the information. Did you ever stop to 
think that nearly everybody has an axe to 


426 


A DRUMMER’S EXPERIENCE 


grind, and your neighbor generally wants you 
to turn the stone for his first! The men and 
women of the world who have made reputa¬ 
tion for themselves, and been a benefit to 
mankind have been people who were capable 
of thinking for themselves. I do not want 
you to be suspicious, but to have stamina. 1 
do not want you to be egotistical, only so far 
as to feel yourself the equal of any man —not 
his superior . The great trouble about ask¬ 
ing advice in a general way is in so doing you 
publish your business too much; and thereby 
give your opponent the advantage of your 
position, this is not good generalship. If you 
ask advice, weigh that advice, what was the 
motive of the party who gave it? 'Was he 
conscientious? Has he any interest at stake? 
If not, and it harmonizes with your judg¬ 
ment, then you are doubly sure. If you are 
inclined to be optimistic, you had better take 
your time in deciding your question, other¬ 
wise you may make some big mistakes. 

The optimistic man is one of the most suc¬ 
cessful men we have, when his actions are 
founded on judgment, and directed by pru¬ 
dence. The in tuitive, optimistic thought, sees 
prospects and advantages in the future; 
prudence and judgment points the way to 
accomplishments; the optimistic man is pro¬ 
gressive, sees the good in everything and is 
inclined to be too credulous; unless supported 


EXECUTIVE ABILITY 


427 


by caution and judgment, the man with these 
three attributes w r ell balanced, constitute one 
of the most perfect temperaments; he is not 
suspicious, but prudent; be is not hasty, but 
steadfast, weighing everything in judgment 
before making a decision; his ambition and 
far sightedness spurs him on, at the same time 
bis caution keeps him from the brink of the 
precipice. He is like a child in a go-cart. He 
is assisted along by ambition, but prevented 
from tailing by prudence. Prudence is the 
germ of reason, the chaperon of progress, a 
companion of success. Prudence is a drafts¬ 
man drawing the blue prints of the future 
structure, to be erected by ability and energy. 
Prudence harmonizes, actions and words, is a 
mediator for force and ambition. Men who 
have accomplished the greatest deeds, have 
invariably been cautious. Prudence is not 
cowardice, it is the field glass that locates, and 
ascertains the strength of the enemy and 
gives the signal, when force, ambition and 
progress must march to victory. Prudence 
weighs the future by the past. When con¬ 
trolled by prudence, the dignified, self-reliant, 
optimistic man is the most successlul of any 
character in the public affairs of life. In this 
list you find your generals who have aston¬ 
ished the world with their genius. In this 
list you find the statesmen who have de¬ 
throned kings, and established empires; here 


428 


A DRUMMER’S EXPERIENCE 


too are your merchant princes, who guided by 
prudence, sustained by self-reliance and led 
on by optimism, have risked their all to float 
a proposition; these are men who back their 
judgment with EVERY DOLLAR they can 
call their own: these are the men. who load 
the ships to cross the briny deep, these are 
the men who hold the button of electricity 
in one hand and the steam throttle in the 
other; these are the men who make or break 
a nation! The merchant prince finds a 
market, and keeps the spindles of commerce 
turning. The temperaments of men have 
more to do with their social success than judg¬ 
ment, or executive power. A man quick of 
perception is always armed and on the de¬ 
fensive. If you want action, if you want 
results, call on a man with intuitive percep¬ 
tion, he does not have to think, there is some¬ 
thing within him that seems to act instan¬ 
taneously. Here is a man you can rely on to 
be ready for any emergency; you cannot 
attack him on the blind side, his instinctive 
judgment seems to warn him, he has the e3^e 
of an eagle, and the action of a cat. The man 
of perception and intuitive knowledge is not 
usually a deep thinker, but to counter-balance 
this he is a ‘‘doer” A renowned general 
was once asked how he could think of so many 
things in time of battle, he answered: “I do 
not think, I fight.” 


Chapter XLIX 

MINING 

I promised to tell you something of mining. 
I will begin by telling you that Colorado is 
now the leading state in the production of 
gold. 

Gold cannot be corroded by oxygen, and 
will not rust. It is not often found in 
crystalline shape, but is frequently found in 
placer mining in irregular masses from nug¬ 
gets to dust. Quartz gold is the most common 
inasmuch as placer mining is nearly ‘‘played 
out.” 

In quartz mining the rock is crushed and 
the small particles of gold are taken up with 
quick-silver. From this it is separated by 
heat. 

Silver is found native, and alloyed with 
gold, copper, mercury and sulphur. 

Copper is found alloyed with all the other 
ores, and is sometimes found in large bodies. 
Near Lake Superior and at Butte, Montana, 
copper blocks have been found weighing 200 
tons. 

Nearly all the gold mines are quartz mines; 
i. e. deep mining in the solid granite. The 
pay-streak or ore body generally runs from 


430 


A DRUMMER’S EXPERIENCE 


one to ten inches thick. The rock is blasted 
back in all directions from the vein, making 
a tunnel about six or seven feet wide for the 
men to work in. If the rock is loose or shelly, 
heavy timbers are used to line the tunnel. 
These timbers are put up as fast as the blast¬ 
ing proceeds. The timbers used are about the 
size of and as long as railroad cross-ties and 
are set up against the perpendicular walls. 
Other ties are then used to floor the roof. 
This makes it safe for the men to work in 
either a gold, silver cr copper mine, as there 
is nothing to cause explosions as in a coal 
mine. 

The miners usually come in contact with a 
good deal of water in deep mines. The blast¬ 
ing opens up crevices in the rock through 
which seeps the water from the under-ground 
streams. Until within the last two years 
there were hundreds of enormous pumps in 
the Cripple Creek district which were kept 
working day and night to keep the water from 
flooding the mines. Now an enormous tunnel 
which undermines all the workings and drains 
the water from the mines at the rate of about 
10,000 gallons per minute has been completed. 
There has been a great deal of development 
work carried on and rich veins of ore un¬ 
covered. The out-put of some of the mines 
has been doubled and the price of the stocks 





Steamboat, Arrowhead Lake, Abt. 
































h 




V j 


*■ 








mmm i 




I Built Pike’s Peak 


























MINING 


433 


has increased from 25 to 50 percent and is 
still raising. 

Quite a number of these mines have their 
own reduction plants on the ground. Here 
the ore is crushed, treated and subjected to 
acid solution. In other cases the ore is 
shipped to smelters. 

Placer mining was once carried on ex¬ 
tensively in this State, but the creek beds 
are pretty well washed out, and this industry 
is on the wane. 

Coal is one of the principal products of 
Wyoming and Colorado. There are hundreds 
of good coal mines in these two states. The 
coal is of the bituminous variety, with one 
exception. There is an anthracite mine by 
Crested Butte, Colorado. There are thou¬ 
sands of acres of coal lands that can be taken 
up in the Rocky Mountain districts and as a 
rule it is a good investment, as the industry 
of coal-mining yields a good profit and the 
consumption is increasing. If you are think¬ 
ing of launching out in this industry be sure 
and secure some one who is a practical mining 
man to take a small amount of stock and act 
as manager. Practical Experience is very 
necessary, but if you are putting up the money 
I would advise you holding at least 51% of 
the stock. There will never be a time when 
all the coal mined in the United States cannot 
be sold at a good profit to the operator. 


434 


A DRUMMER’S EXPERIENCE 


There is one good thing about coal-mining, 
railroads and factories cannot run without 
coal. We must have coal to warm us in the 
winter and as long as man is a carnivorous 
animal he will want his meat cooked and his 
coffee warm. Wood is getting very scarce 
and gas is unreliable , except as to price. No, 
you are mistaken again—I have no coal mine 
to sell. 

Copper mining is very profitable. It seems 
that the supply is not equal to the demand. 
There are not a great many copper mines in 
the United States, Utah, Colorado, Wyoming, 
South Dakota and part of Michigan furnish 
the best fields. The major part of the produc 
is at present controlled by large companies. 
Silver mines are very plentiful throughout 
Colorado, and where there is a combination of 
ores to make the proper flux, it is a profitable 
business. 

While we are speaking of mining, nothing 
would give me more delight than to give you 
a mental picture of the Rocky Mountain 
canary, the miner’s friend. Imagine a drove 
of these birds wending their way down a 
mountain trail, on their way homeward. Not 
a sound is heard; not a welcoming note; 
each mind is centered cn a shelter and the 
evening repast. But if you think for a 
moment that this bird cannot sing just wait 
until half-past four in the morning. You 


MINING 


435 


need no alarm clock. His melodious voice 
warbled through a megaphone, will bring you 
to your feet to look for the circus and the 
calliope. Now, watch these birds again as 
they hover around the store house each to 
receive his portion of corn-meal, bacon, beans, 
potatoes, bales of overalls, lanterns, stoves 
and stove pipe, shovels, picks and all the 
paraphernalia which goes to supply a mining 
camp. See how meekly each receives his 
daily burden. You will wonder how this 
humble creature ever acquired the courage to 
dictate his small speech to Mahomet the 
Prophet. 

Young man, I promised to tell you some¬ 
thing about the different vocations, how to 
equip yourself for them, which pays the 
most, etc. This 1 consider a good place and 
an opportune time to recommend the pro¬ 
fession of Mining Engineer. This is a busi¬ 
ness that has a good future. Old Mother 
Earth has never yet given up a hundredth 
part of her wealth. If you become a good 
Mining Engineer, a job with good money 
is at your command. Your advice will be 
sought by men with money, and your field 
of operation is the globe. But to acquire this 
knowledge will take effort on your part, and 
unlimited determination, besides some money 
to carry you through the course which will 
fit you properly for the work. First get a 


436 


A DRUMMER’S EXPERIENCE 


thorough high-school education and go 
through some college if possible. Next take 
a complete course at a School of Mines where 
there are practical teachers of high standing. 
There are not many schools of this kind in the 
country that can be considered standard. If 
you should ever undertake to equip yourself— 
do it right. You can succeed in this profes¬ 
sion only when you have become authority. 
You suggest, “Is this not so in every line?” 
Yes, but some businesses or professions can 
be changed from one channel to another with¬ 
out much inconvenience, or expense of time 
or money. This is not so with a mining 
engineer. It will take several years to equip 
yourself for the job. When once equipped 
your talent is your stock in trade. It seems 
that this information cannot be utilized in 
other lines to any advantage. It is like sales¬ 
manship, a profession separate and distinct 
from everything else. 


Chapter L 

THE POWER OF CONCENTRATION 

Of all the attributes that go to make up 
success, concentration is the most essential. 
You may have energy, consistency, decision 
and executive ability, but without concentra¬ 
tion, your forces lose their desired effect. 
This is a day of specializing, Success is only 
attained by constant application to a specific 
end, no man can be efficient in all things; the 
range of subjects is too great and complicated; 
the details of each profession or line of busi¬ 
ness are so great that it is a life work to master 
the situation, the successful men are those 
who have made a study of one profession or 
calling. The mind of man is not capable of 
grasping in detail and carrying to a successful 
end a multitude of professions. In concen¬ 
tration, there is strength; in diversity, there 
is weakness. “Specializing” is the watch 
word of the day. Our professions, trades and 
callings of every description are being class¬ 
ified, men are being trained for certain 
branches of a science; the specialist is being 
recognized as authority in every branch of 
business; the day of universal practitioners 
is past, w^e now look for efficiency, which is 


438 


A DRUMMER’S EXPERIENCE 


recognized to be the offspring of concentra¬ 
tion. Your life work should be selected while 
young, and from the time of making this 
selection, your future efforts and train¬ 
ing should be to that end. Competition is 
stronger to day than was ever known—to be 
able to meet this rivalry, requires a thorough 
knowledge of the conditions and surround¬ 
ings. The merchant princes of today have 
buyers for each department in the store, and 
have salemen for each line of goods. The 
mechanical interests of the country have a 
special line they manufacture, and adhere to. 
We have our criminal lawyers, corporation 
lawyers and constitutional lawyers; we have 
our oculists, dentists and surgeons; each an 
artist in his profession. The men who have 
shaped human destiny in all the walks of 
life, have been specialists, and a devotee of 
their calling. The greatest discoveries of all 
ages have been ferreted out by men wdio have 
concentrated their mental and physical powers 
on one particular branch of business, which 
they have eventually mastered. The man who 
undertakes too much, divides his energies, ex¬ 
hausts his force, and fails to get results. 

In concentration is power. The mist that 
arises from the ocean; the vapor that ascends 
from the ground and floats in the air, when 
concentrated in the form of water and turned 
on the turbine wheel, revolves the spindles of 


THE POWERS OF CONCENTRATION 439 


commerce. We often see men of strong minds 
and brilliant intellect, changing from one pro¬ 
fession to another or drifting from one part 
of the country to another, accomplishing 
nothing, all for the lack of concentration. 
There are more mental and financial failures 
from lack of concentration than any other 
cause. This is so throughout the universe. 
The apple tree when allowed to send off 
sprouts will bloom in profusion, but will not 
mature its fruit. The corn that suckers, will 
not produce full grown ears. To produce 
grapes, you must confine the sap to the parent 
vine. The mind with moderate ability and 
concentration will accomplish more than the 
brilliant intellect reaching for a will-o’-the- 
wisp. Concentration of power in the breech 
of the cannon will drive the ball a dozen miles, 
touch a match to the same amount of powder 
in the open air and you only have smoke. 
You will increase your power and ability by 
focusing your energies on the object of your 
ambition; as the blacksmith by a concentra¬ 
tion of heat melts the iron. 

The power of mind over matter is in pro¬ 
portion to the density of the exertion of the 
mind. Feeble mental efforts, like light strokes 
by the woodman’s axe, produce nothing but 
small chips. The most pitiable object is a 
man without an aim ; he strives from day to 
day to secure the necessities of life, having 


440 


A DRUMMER’S EXPERIENCE 


no object in view, other than to eke out an 
existence, aspiring to nothing, expecting noth¬ 
ing. No fires of ambition burn upon his men¬ 
tal hearth-stone; no garlands of hope to lure 
him on; seeking no prize and expecting no 
victory; bemoaning his fate, disgusted with 
life! From these ranks we get our ever-in¬ 
creasing army of tramps. A reasonable 
amount of tact and judgment, concentrating 
your energies on the affairs of life, will illumi¬ 
nate and locate the troubles of the financial 
world, as the X-rays shed light on the internal 
organs of the body. The time occupied by the 
average American in light and desultory 
reading, if applied to some scientific study 
would make the reader proficient in that line. 
In the west, there is an ant that builds an 
enormous mound around his hole, nothing 
but everlasting persistency could accomplish 
his task. Cattle may tread on and demolish 
his castle and water may crumble the walls, 
but all this will not discourage him, nor drive 
him from his purpose, as soon as the intruder 
is gone, he sets to work to repair the breach. 

Life is too short for man to accomplish all 
the work that his heart desires, one thing well 
done is worth more than ten, half done. If 
you would succeed you must get below the 
surface. The farmer knows the advantage 
of deep plowing; if you would derive the 
greatest benefits from your garden, you must 


THE POWERS OF CONCENTRATION 441 

give it intense cultivation. The majority of 
people lay out their plans too extensively, have 
“too many irons in the fire;” some of them 
usually burn. Some people never seem to 
make up their minds firmly as to what they 
intend to do; they go about a thing as though 
they expected developments to shape their de¬ 
cisions later on, as the work progresses. Such 
people are swayed by every breeze that blows. 
The miner drills the hole in the solid granite 
by persistent blows. So the battle of life 
must be won by concentrated action. If 
literary or financial success is the goal you 
seek you must be willing to pay the price; 
and to sacrifice social pleasures until you have 
established your reputation and attained 
influential prestige. “Half-hearted,” “slip¬ 
shod,” “ luke-warm,” methods never have, and 
never will succeed. You must focus your tal¬ 
ent, ingenuity and power on the desired ob¬ 
ject. This concentration, like the rays of the 
sun, will warm and electrify your sphere of 
action. Systematize your business, have a 
set time for everything, look after details, 
keep appointments, do not trust your busi¬ 
ness to subordinates; be “ chief cook and bot¬ 
tle washer” of the ranch. It is very essential 
that you accomplish something from the be¬ 
ginning, otherwise you may become discour¬ 
aged. But in order to show results in the 
early stages of your career, you, like a miner, 


442 


A DRUMMER’S EXPERIENCE 


must prospect, survey, and stake out your 
claim, and from this time on you must do 
your regular assessment work, else some com¬ 
petitor will “jump” your claim. You do not 
have to use every moment of your time to 
further the interest of your business, but do 
not allow your thoughts to be led off into 
foreign subjects, and to delving into new en¬ 
terprises; this dissipates your energy and force. 
A warrior must concentrate his forces to win 
a great battle. Your mind needs recreation, 
as well as your body, but keep it in green pas¬ 
tures, do not let it wander on the barren desert 
to feed on cactus, and become infatuated with 
a mirage. As the government makes and en¬ 
forces laws, for the benefit of society, so you 
should hold court, and bring to account your 
actions and thoughts, for the well-being of 
your social and financial success. Thoughts, 
like the actions of a truant child, need to be 
brought to account. Train your mind to do 
your bidding, let it work at stated hours, but 
when the horn blows for dinner, tell it to lay 
down its tools. When you leave your office 
or shop at night, lock your cares in a cell be¬ 
hind you, do not take them home to your wife, 
she has some pet ones of her own and if they 
come in contact with yours, there is apt to be 
a family quarrel. I would like to ask of you 
a special favor, please do not talk your cares 
and business to your friends every time you 


THE POWERS OF CONCENTRATION 443 

see them. Life is a tread mill, but no man 
should attempt to stay on the wheel at all 
times. Your mind needs a Fourth of July, 
the same as your body, and on Decoration 
Day you should treat it to some flowers. 


Chapter LI 

GOVERNMENT LANDS, ETC. 

Ever since the time of Adam, human beings 
have been interested in tilling the soil. It has 
its fascinations as well as its remunerative 
benefits. It is the most substantial and de¬ 
sirable way of earning a living. Just so sure 
as you tickle Mother Earth, and you are sup¬ 
plied with moisture, either natural or arti¬ 
ficial, just so sure are you to produce the 
necessities of life. It requires no combina¬ 
tion of interests, or associations of people, to 
carry out your design. You are your own 
boss. You can truly say, U I am a free 
American citizen. I owe no allegiance to any 
man. All I ask is health from Deity, and 
good-will from man.” 

Good farming government lands are getting 
very scarce. In the Central and Southern 
states, it is a thing of the past. And free 
government lands are only open in the West 
to actual settlers. Every person contemplat¬ 
ing a claim, should have at least a good team 
of horses, a cow, and a few pigs. Do not take 
too many chances, go in to win. 

Under the Act of June 6, 1912, there was a 
law enacted placing the time of actual settle- 


GOVERNMENT LANDS, ETC. 445 

ment ip order to obtain a patent, at three 
years instead of five, as formerly. This 
period or residence is fixed from the date of 
actual settlement, and not from the date of 
entry. The law requires that the entryrnan 
must put into actual cultivation at least one- 
eighth of his land before the final proof can 
be made, and this one-eighth should be put 
in at least one year prior to final proof. 
Previous to this time, June 6, 1912, no special 
amount of cultivated land was required, be¬ 
fore making final proof; but under the new 
law, the mere breaking of the land will not 
suffice. It must be cultivated by the sowing 
of seeds, and the tilling of crops. 

. The Act of Feb. 19, 1909 (35 Stat. 639) pro¬ 
vides for making a filing for an area of 320 
acres or less of non-mineral, non-timbered, 
non-irrigable, public lands in the states of 
Colorado, Montana, Nevada, Oregon, Utah, 
Washington, Wyoming, Arizona, and New 
Mexico, and has since been extended to in¬ 
clude Idaho. Non-irrigable lands means 
lands that have no available water supply for 
irrigation. By the term, non-timbered, is 
meant, land that does not have merchantable 
timber on them. The registers and receivers 
in the different states from time to time, re¬ 
ceive a list of the lands in their respective 
states that may be entered by homesteaders. 
The land so entered must be in a reasonable 


446 


A DRUMMER’S EXPERIENCE 


compact form, and must not exceed one and 
one-half miles in length. The fees to the 
government for this entry is ten (SI0.00) 
dollars. Any free born male citizen may 
enter on government lands. Also widows and 
deserted wives, or where their husbands are 
confined in state prison, etc. 

Under the Act of June 11, 1906, it is possible 
to enter a homestead in the forest reserves, 
where the land has been properly classified 
and listed. The homesteader in this entry is 
allowed to graze ten cattle or horses on the 
forest reserve, and he is protected in his rights 
by the forest rangers. He also has access 
to timber and water. 

There are over one hundred forest reserva¬ 
tions in the states of Montana, Idaho, Wyom¬ 
ing, Colorado, New Mexico, and Utah. You 
can get full information concerning entries, 
etc., by writing the U. S. Land Office, located 
in the capitol of each state. 

Settlers can also file claims under the 
Carey Act. These entries must be made in 
the same manner as on arid lands. The 
water for irrigation purposes on these lands 
is bought on easy terms from responsible 
people, and controlled by the state in which 
they are located. There are extensive irri¬ 
gation systems on the Snake river in Idaho, 
and on the Gila river, Arizona; and there are 
thousands of smaller enterprises in the Rocky 


GOVERNMENT LANDS, ETC. 447 

Mountain district. The perpetual water rights 
on these systems vary from twenty to sixty 
dollars per acre. In addition to this there is a 
small levy per acre for maintenance. This 
will vary from twenty cents an acre, to one 
dollar and seventy-five cents per acre, ac¬ 
cording to cost of up-keep. 

What is commonly called dry ranching 
(farming without irrigation) is carried on 
successfully in the semi-arid belt east of the 
Rocky Mountains. It is especially adapted 
to Dairy Farming. Eastern Wyoming and 
Colorado is selling up fast, the man with the 
hoe and tin bucket, has the sheep-herder on 
the run. 

Patented lands in this district can be bought 
for $5.00 an acre. This should be attractive 
to a man wanting a heme, inasmuch as he 
can get free range for his stock, having only 
to provide food for the winter. 

From my observation I would say if you 
want a free homestead, get it now. 




Chapter LI I 

OUT OF JOINT 

Nearly all complaints arise from a diseased 
body or mind, and it is usually the latter. 

Let us take the professional grouch. He 
does not say much to anybody, but he is 
sore on everybody and everything. He has 
brooded over hard luck and conditions until 
he has become cranky, his decision biased, and 
his judgment warped. This man in the first 
stages is usually strong minded and energetic, 
but if you will investigate you will find that 
he was disappointed in some undertaking, or 
met with some reverse of fortune. He could 
not, or did not, attain some coveted goal. 
This Mr. Grouch is usually a deep thinker—he 
is nobody’s tool, but his mind is distorted on 
certain things, and as a rule you cannot con¬ 
vince him that he is wrong. He is sore on 
the world, and he will not hide himself behind 
a rosebush of discretion to vent his feelings. 
He is usually gruff and sarcastic, and unless 
you are pretty, well posted on the subject 
under discussion you had better not make too 
many bold assertions. You may get cornered 
and have to retreat. Mr. Grouch is caustic 
and will not spare your feelings. If you manage 


OUT OF JOINT 


449 


to keep him in a good humor, and off his 
hobbies, he will be an interesting talker and 
can give you some pointers. However, he 
always has his weather eye out, looking for 
the other fellow’s faults. 

This man’s brain is slightly affected (but 
where is the man whose brain is noo?). If he 
was supplied with good books to his liking 
and surrounded with the comforts of life you 
would see a marked change in him in twelve 
months time. 

Then there is the chronic kicker. He is a 
different breed entirely. He is a fool and 
does not know it. He is like a mule—be will 
kick at a sound or a shadow. He not only 
has hobby horses, but he will ride any old 
animal, he has no favorites and will take in 
the whole menagerie. He will attempt to 
ride everything from a monkey to an elephant. 
Like the clown, he often falls off, but this 
does not discourage him. Difficulties only 
arouse him to greater effort. There is no vo¬ 
cation which is followed with such persis¬ 
tency as the chronic kicker uses. He rises 
in the morning and goes to work at once. 
He works piece work, consequently there is 
no loafing on the job. There is a call to battle 
within him and he goes at it at once and with 
all his might. The alarm-clock rings too, 
loud, the children will not get up when called, 
the kindling is wet and the fire will not burn. 




450 A DRUMMER’S EXPERIENCE 

He is sure that the stove needs cleaning, 
breakfast is late, the coffee is weak, the steak 
is tough, the car is never there when he is 
ready to go, and the cranky conductor will 
not allow him to smoke in the front seats. 
Then he spies a head-line in the newspaper 
(over his neighbor’s shoulder). I knew it 
would happen! It serves them right! They 
were nothing but a blooming monopoly any¬ 
way. The country is going to the dogs. He 
can’t see why people do not wake up and see 
his way. 

If you will make a list of a hundred current 
propositions this man will pay his sarcastic 
respects to all of them in 24 hours. He is a 
Doctor of Law, authority- on ethics, and the 
criterion of honor. If he had a chance he 
could run the biggest establishment in the 
country and have no strikes. If he had a 
million dollars he would give you half of it 
(in his mind). His philosophy and philan- 
throphy are of the same variety as the two 
Irish Socialists. Pat says to Jimmie, “And 
Jimmie, this will be a fine country when we 
all get to be brothers, then if I am worth ten 
thousand dollars I will give you halt of it.” 
“Yes, and if I was worth five thousand I 
would give you one-half of it.” “Yes, and 
if you had two pigs you would give me one.” 
“You are a liar,” says Jimmie, “you know 
very well I have two pigs.” 


OUT OF JOINT 


451 


There is another variety of weak-minded 
individual who needs to be set down upon by 
a washer-woman weighing 200 lbs. 1 refer 
to the aristocratic, sore-backed, poverty 
stricken, would-be society class. These people 
would make you believe that they are better 
than their neighbors. The butcher, the grocer 
the dry-goods man and their landlord know 
them. They pick over the meat, they finger 
the vegetables, they tousle the dry-goods and 
complain to the landlord. They want every¬ 
thing dene because they are exceedingly good 
tenants. There should be a new kind of 
scale invented to weigh these people on. One 
that is graduated to weigh four ounces to the 
pound. This would still not show them to be 
as heavy as the imagine they are. 

Then there is the pin-head who holds a 
job of some responsibility. He takes a de¬ 
light in casting reflections on those under 
him, and in exercising his authority (what 
little he has). You cannot approach him. 
He disdains your advice. He shows in action 
and word that you are his inferior. He will 
not condescend to converse with a man of 
your standing. His instructions must be ob¬ 
served to the letter. You must not ask him 
the reason why. The law of the Medes and 
Persians cannot be changed. Here is the 
man that causes the dissatisfactions and 
strikes. The men and women under him 





452 


A DRUMMER’S EXPERIENCE 


hate him as a viper. If the cashier had en¬ 
closed him a letter with his check in it 12 
months ago, they would not now have to shut 
down the plant. It may be necessary to 
correct a workman, or to remind him that he 
is drawing pay, but it is bad policy to walk on 
him lengthwise every day. 

There is one more bore that is the limit, and 
they come at you in a way that compels you 
to take your medicine. They generally work 
on their friends and families and are like a 
screw-worm in a Texas cow. They always 
endeavour to get under the hide. They have 
some ideas or complaints that are of vital 
interest to you or to the community, so they 
say. If there is not a remedy at once there 
will be great injustice done to somebody and 
that somebod}^ is generally themselves. These 
parasites sometimes go in bodies seeking 
whom they may devour. You will find them 
selling buttons, soliciting aid and parading 
their personal charms at Church Fairs. There 
is no ability required for this job. Good looks 
are what count. It is their special delight 
to work an old man (I should know) and when 
they have relieved him of his “tainted” 
money they say to each other, “the Old 
Chump.” Please give me an introduction 
to the next one. 

This is the last, and it is bad enough. It is 
said that misery likes company. This is evi- 







OUT OF JOINT 


453 


dently true, but does the company appreciate 
the misery? If misery is allowed full sway 
at the company it surely draws first blood. 
Why people put on long faces, and persist in 
telling their friends all about their many 
diseases and ailments, and explaining every 
phase of the complaint is beyond human con¬ 
ception. 

Do yon not meet people that you are afraid 
to pass the time of day with for fear they will 
spring their pains and aches on you? Tell 
you how they toss at night, how their stomach 
hurts, head throbs and corns ache. They 
never run out of something to talk about. 
The next time they meet you they give you 
the latest freaks of the disease. If it is 
sympathy they want they should remember 
that the heroes who bear their burdens and 
C3mplaints in silence, are the ones who get 
the genuine, unadulterated article. 






Chapter LIII 
WHITE SLAVERY 

The depredations of White Slavery are at¬ 
tracting the attention of the public more 
than any other sociological subject. Here 
is a viper that is winding its slimy coils around 
the human race, sparing no class or society, 
but as a rule sinking its fangs into the fairest 
of the land. Human events are shaped by 
cause and effect—this is a fixed and immu¬ 
table law. We have the controlling or the 
influencing of causes, and thereby control 
the effects. Now, the most difficult problem 
is to diagnose the case and apply the proper 
remedies to influence the causes. The causes 
that lead up to this deplorable state of affairs 
are many and have for their origin as many 
sources. It has been asserted of late that 
poor wages are the cause of the downfall of 
many girls. We have no doubt that this is 
one factor but when you have eradicated this 
one cause you are far from solving the prob¬ 
lem. There are other faults more deeply 
rooted, that are penetrating to the heart of 
society and are lowering the standard of virtue 
faster than any material cause. First, there 
is the improper rearing of children; second, 


WHITE SLAVERY 


455 


bad associates, and last, though not least, is the 
immodesty of dress. There is a wave of 
carelessness and indifference on the part of 
parents, and an assertion of self-importance 
and impudence on the part of children, that 
is working havoc with this rising generation. 
Parents in most cases seem to have lost con¬ 
trol of their children entirely. Their advice 
is not heeded and their influence is a mock¬ 
ery of an unknown quantity. The child is 
a law unto himself, if he accepts any advice 
at all it is that given by a profligate companion. 
All that he looks to the parents for is money 
and clothes. 

There is only one question involved and if 
you are an intelligent man or woman you can 
answer it without hesitation. Is the child 
capable of raising itself? Is it not suicidal 
to allow a child to follow its own inclinations? 
This is a question that needs no argument. 
All you have to do is to look around you, it is 
self-evident that your neighbor has lost con¬ 
trol of her children. Of course you have not 
lost control of yours , but your neighbor thinks 
you have. I would advise you to get a lan¬ 
tern and go on an inspection tour. You 
may find your girl or boy in the shadow of the 
buildings, down the alley, or in the remote 
portions of the parks associating with a gang 
that would by words or actions defile and 
contaminate the purest child that ever lived. 


456 


A DRUMMER’S EXPERIENCE 


If allowed to associate with this crowd you 
can expect the worst. Associations, like habits, 
when once formed are hard to throw off; they 
become a part of our nature. It has been 
demonstrated beyond a question that you 
can take a child of the best parents, one that 
has high aspirations, put him among criminals 
and in five years he is the leader of the gang. 
There seems to be a dare-devil spirit pervad¬ 
ing the country and especially among the 
young people. The more reckless they can 
be without being caught is the proper thing. 
They will take all sorts of chances; they will 
skate on the verge of the precipice of ruin, 
and dare their companions to follow them on 
the thin ice covering the pool of despondency. 
They have even gone further, and destroyed 
the danger signs erected by their forefathers; 
and all this has been brought about by over- 
indulgence on the part of the parent. If your 
child falls, place the blarne where it belongs. 

Another groat cause of the depredations 
committed by the demon White Slavery is 
the excessive immodesty in dress. It does 
not take a close observer to detect that thou¬ 
sands of women resort to the most drastic 
means to attract the attention of the opposite 
sex, by exposing their person beyond the 
bounds of decency, directly appealing to the 
animal in man. A little discretion on the 


WHITE SLAVERY 


457 


part of woman would diminish this crime by 
half. 

There should also be societies formed in all 
towns for the protection of girls. These 
societies should be managed by discreet and 
honorable women w r ho at regular intervals 
should give free lectures, pointing out the 
traps that beset the paths of girls. These 
traps are too numerous to mention here but 
they are nearly all baited with amusement, 
adventure or so-called love in its many forms. 
All this should be laid before the girl in a plain, 
dignified and motherly way. This informa¬ 
tion should have been given the girl by her 
mother years ago, but the average American 
mother is either too modest or has a lack of 
confidence in herself to impart this informa¬ 
tion to her offspring. They seem to go on 
the assumption that where “ ignorance is bliss 
it is folly to be wise.” 

But great is the fall when ignorance is 
taken advantage of. Drastic measures should 
be taken at once to protect the flower of wom¬ 
anhood and the idols of our homes from this 
demon self-destruction; yes, a destruction 
beyond redemption, a living death, a leper of 
humanity crucified on the cross of misdirected 
love. 




Chapter LIV 

SAN FRANCISCO EARTHQUAKE 

I have been in several railroad wrecks; and 
was also in the terrible cyclone that visited 
St. Louis; but I am glad to say, that I have 
never experienced a severe earthquake. Of 
all the horrors that can befall man, I consider 
this the worst. To a person who has not been 
in one of these awful catastrophes, it seems 
impossible that the devastation could be so 
great. 

I visited San Francisco shortly after the 
quake, and to put it mildly, the damage was 
appalling. What must have been the sight 
that met the eyes of the terror-stricken in¬ 
habitants on April 21st, 1906, after the fire 
had ravaged the city for three days; and hun¬ 
dreds been slain by falling walls. Before the 
people could realize what a terrible calamity 
had befallen them by the earthquake, fire 
broke out. Gas mains were broken and 
twisted, electric light wires snapped—’con¬ 
flagrations in a dozen places at once. Water 
pipes torn asunder, and no water with which 
to fight the fire. Helpless, doomed! Can 
you imagine a thing more horrible? 



Burning Wharf, Millions Destroyed, San Francisco Earthquake 
From Photograph Copyrighted by The A. B. Benesch Co., N. T. 













































SAN FRANCISCO EARTHQUAKE 461 


It was 5:10 A. M. when, wi thout warning, 
the first shock came, lasting about three 
minutes. In five minutes another, more ter¬ 
rible than the first, but not so long in duration; 
and still another, but less severe, followed in 
quick order. Think what must have been 
the nerve-racking sensations by this time. 
Even the stoutest-hearted must have quaiied. 
Dread was turned into distraction when they 
saw flames dart up in every part of the city 
and learned that there was no water with 
which to fight the conflagration. 

Did you ever stop to consider what is the 
most uneasy feeling that a human being can 
experience? It is to feel that the very earth 
beneath one is giving way, with no refuge, 
no hope of rescue! 

San Francisco before this fire, was exceed¬ 
ingly beautiful, with fine business blocks, 
hotels and public buildings, the finest of them 
all being the City Hall, costing $7,000,000. 
Nothing left but a heap of stone, tile, brick 
and crumbled statuary. But nowhere on the 
face of the globe has activity surpassed that of 
Frisco since the fire. Buildings sprang up 
like magic. The watchword was Progress. 
In all cases where the people could rebuild, 
they started at once, and by the time the fair 
opens there in 1915 there will hardly be a 
missing edifice. This is a good criterion of 
the determination and progressiveness of the 








462 


A DRUMMER’S EXPERIENCE 


West. The people have faith in the country 
and confidence in themselves. These two 
principles will win in the face of all difficulties. 
These people are the descendants of those 
adventurous spirits of 1849, men and women 
who took their chances in crossing the track¬ 
less deserts, often without water, bread or 
salt, ever on the lookout for the prowling 
Indian. They forded creeks, and swam rivers, 
cooked their meals with buffalo chips and 
twisted hay. Why should they not produce 
a race of people that are self-reliant, resource¬ 
ful, undaunted empire builders. 

There is as much difference in the breeds 
of people as there is in breeds of dogs. Some 
are born to bark and howl; and some are made 
for pets. Some people are like the bulldog, 
vicious and brutal; others, like the greyhound, 
quiet and unassuming, yet built to win the 
race. 




Leland-Stanford University after Earthquake 











Hall of Justice, San Francisco, after Earthquake 
Photograph Copyrighted by The A. B. Benesch Co.. 


























> 












4 




• • 


Rescuing Women and Children, San Francisco Earthquake 
From Photograph Copyrighted by The A. B. Benesch Co., N. T 



























a 


c'S rj 

w° 

fj 

O o 
a w 
ca o 

us 

S« 

fePQ 
c J 

^ * 
-pC 

4-» 


^rrt 
r- ~ 
*-• Q) 

O £ 

ES 

>>£ 

% a 

So 

^ ja 

r—* £^4 

c ?-. 

c3 bu 
o 
m +-> 
■*-* c 
G G 

OpLn 

g)H 

CS 2 

I_ ^ 






I 








—- 


1 j.% 

SH 

:j|Sp 


<iw 


* 































Chapter LV 

ALFALFA, BEES AND HONEY 

Alfalfa the king of the west. There are 
several states that claim to be the home of 
alfalfa. I will settle this dispute by saying 
that Kansas, Nebraska, Colorado, Wyoming, 
New Mexico, Utah and Arizona; can all cover 
themselves with glory and dollars too, by 
raising the most prolific and remunerative 
forage crop known to man. The farmers 
usually cut from three to four crops each 
year, the first crop being cut about the 
first of June and the last about October 
twentieth. The yield varies greatly, accord¬ 
ing to the soil and condition, though generally 
speaking it will run about two tons per acre, 
for each, first and second cutting; and about 
one and a half tons per acre for the last crop. 
The price of the hay is from six to twelve dol¬ 
lars per ton, varying greatly, different years. 
The seed sells from fourteen to twenty cents 
per pound. The third or fourth crop is 
usually saved for seed. The third crop is 
mostly used for sheep and cow feed; though 
it is good for horses also. 

One cannot treat on alfalfa, without con¬ 
sidering bee raising in connection with it. 







468 


A DRUMMER’S EXPERIENCE 


The honey produced in Wyoming and Colo¬ 
rado is claimed to be the finest in the world, 
being exceedingly mild and almost as clear 
as water; but sweet, O my! Several carloads 
are shipped out of Colorado each year. 

SUGAR BEET CULTURE 

There has been a great deal said in the last 
ten years about the sugar beet and its culture, 
some of this talk was true, some otherwise. 
I happened to have some experience in the 
raising of beets. I do not want to do the 
business an injury, but merely do it justice. 
I must confess that my experience with the 
plant was not. very satisfactory. There is a 
great deal of hard work which I am not overly 
fond of; and I never heard of any man break¬ 
ing his purse strings in the profits that ac¬ 
crued from the venture. If all was gold that 
glitters, you would surely reap a harvest in 
the culture of beets. I will admit that the 
possibilities are great; but the results are often 
below expectations. If you think of engaging 
in the business prepare for it beforehand. Go 
to Utah, be a Mormon, raise at least twenty 
children, and with their help in the field, you 
will pull out all right. For the be/)efit of per¬ 
sons who are not familiar with the culture of 
the sugar beet, I will give you an idea of the 
method of production. The ground must be 


ALFALFA, BEES AND HONEY 


469 


well prepared and leveled if intended to irri¬ 
gate. The seed are planted by a special 
machine similar to a wheat drill, it should 
be run by two men; one to drive, the other 
to watch and see that the seed feeds properly. 
The rows are about sixteen inches apart. 
When the plant is about two inches high it is 
usually chopped in the same manner as cot¬ 
ton; then has to be weeded and thinned by 
hand. This costs from seven to ten dollars 
per acre if you hire it. The crop usually gets 
about three to four plowings; two hoeings, 
the second time with the how is not so slow, 
nor so expensive, and it should be watered 
about three times during the season. Then 
comes the raising and topping in the fall, 
this also costs about the same as the thinning 
spoken of. So the total expense of the crop 
including the hoeing, plowing, irrigating and 
hauling to market, is about thirty dollars an 
acre. 

The yield varies greatly, all the way from 
seven to eighteen tons in a few cases. The 
price paid at the dump on the railroad, is 
about five dollars per ton. Now you can 
figure it out for yourself, some long winter 
night after you get through popping corn and 
the children have all gone to bed. 

The foliage is one of the greatest feeds 
known for milch cows, it produces a great abun¬ 
dance of cream, and sells for about two dollars 






470 


A DRUMMER S EXPERIENCE 


a load. The pulp which is secured from the 
factory after the sugar is extracted, is con¬ 
sidered by some to be good feed in connection 
with bran or corn. 

I undertook once to fatten three loads of 
steers on beet pulp and alfalfa. I got them 
to looking fine, I loaded and shipped them one 
thousand miles to Kansas City. When I 
loaded , the cars were tight; when I unloaded 
there was room and some to spare. The only 
way 1 knew my cattle was from the brands 
and the hungry look they gave me, I ought to 
have been arrested for cruelty to animals. 


Chapter LVI 

MORMON UTAH 


Utah is hidden 
away, two-thirds 
of the way across 
the continent. The 
word ‘‘hidden” is 
very appropriate, 
inasmuch as it is 
surrounded on all 
sides by moun¬ 
tains. The Rocky 
mountains on the 
east; on the north 
by Salmon river 
mountains; on the 
west by the Sierra 
Nevada, and south 
Brigham Young Statue, Salt Lake foy Magellan 

mountains. In addition to this it is sur¬ 
rounded on all sides by deserts; this valley is 
literally and truly an oasis in the desert. The 
mean elevation of the valleys in Utah is about 
4500 feet. Salt Lake City is 4248 feet. On 
account of this elevation the winters are 
rather, long, though not so severe, being pro¬ 
tected somewhat by the mountains. Snow 










Lone Sentinel, Utah 





MORMON UTAH 


473 


sometimes falls early in the season. I wit¬ 
nessed a very unusual sight a few years ago 
in this valley. It was in September, or about 
the first of October. A four-inch snow had 
fallen the night before, though the leaves on 
the trees were perfectly green as there had 
been no frost to kill them. The air was quite 
cool though the earth was warm, consequently 
the snow melted off the ground fast; this gave 
the trees a most beautiful setting, having the 
appearance of white and green leaves, this 
condition only lasted a few hours and I was 
sorry to see the snow melt. 

The soil in the valleys is very rich, the most 
of this country was formerly covered by 
Great Salt Lake, which left a deposit of de¬ 
cayed vegetation, this mixed with the vol¬ 
canic ash produces wonderfully; though noth¬ 
ing can be raised without irrigation. There 
are two rivers that irrigate the central and 
northern part of the state, the Bear and Jor¬ 
dan. Though the Jordan is rather insig¬ 
nificant to be called a river, they both empty 
into Salt Lake which has no outlet. The 
water so deposited in the lake is supposed to 
be taken up by evaporation 

It is not generally known that Great Salt 
Lake at one time was about twenty times 
larger than it is now. There is unmistakable 
evidence that at one time it covered about 
all of western Utah, and extended into Nevada. 





474 


A DRUMMER’S EXPERIENCE 


It also ran north into Idaho, making an area 
of something like 55,000 square miles. 

The water of Salt Lake is very buoyant, 
next in density to the Dead Sea. You can 
lay on your back and float like a log on its 
surface; but, as the Dutchman says, ‘‘Look 
a little bit out,” and don’t get the water in 
your nose or mouth or it will suffocate you. 
And when you come out you will have to take 
a second bath in fresh water to wash off the 
cake of salt. 

The Southern Pacific railroad has built a 
trestle and laid their tracks over an arm of 
this lake, 30 miles long. As well as I am in¬ 
formed, this is the longest trestle on the globe. 

The lake is rapidly disappearing and may 
be a thing of the past in a few hundred years. 

The climate is agreeable, not being subject 
to sudden changes. The atmosphere is dry 
and bracing and there are no sunstrokes; 
there are no disastrous cyclones; though 
electric storms are severe, thunder heavy and 
lightning vivid, but the strokes of lightning 
are rare, as the storms seem to follow the 
mountain ranges, instead of descending into 
the valleys. 

The Mormons have the credit of being the 
first settlers in the state; having arrived here 
in July, 1847, when the buffalo roamed the 
plains; and the Red man was lord of all he 
survey id. While the old settlers who located 



Eagle Gate, Salt Lake 




















.■ 


i 




City Hall, Salt Lake City 














MORMON UTAH 


477 


here had many faults and often deviated from 
the straight and narrow path, we must give 
the “Devil his dues.” The Mormons were 
industrious and great home builders. They 
have harnessed the forces of nature to work at 
their bidding, all streams are utilized for ir¬ 
rigation. Where once grew sage brush and 
cactus, now alfalfa and sugar beets are pro¬ 
duced; and the white face and shorthorn Pave 
taken the pasture of the buffalo. The coyote 
has given his haunts to a herd of sheep while 
the prairie dog has turned his town over to 
the Berkshire pig. Peace, contentment and 
happiness reign, where the war dance once 
held sway. Though I do not see that the 
present inhabitants have much advantage 
over the early pioneers, along commercial 
lines, and marketing their surplus products. 
They are so far from market, that what they 
cannot eat they have to feed to the pigs. If 
you attempt to ship your produce out of the 
country you have to see the railroad man and 
guarantee the freight , but 1 guess this is all 
right, the railroads must buy coal, and pay 
dividends. My advice is to make the sugar 
beets into sugar and molasses for home con¬ 
sumption, and feed the alfalfa to the old cow, 
to produce milk to raise the pig and calf; you 
can eat the pig'—but now I have gotten my¬ 
self into trouble again! What are you going 
to do with, the calf? You cannot afford to 


478 


A DRUMMER’S EXPERIENCE 


eat both pig and calf! It requires more good 
engineering now to finance a family, than it 
does to run a saw-mill. I would advise young 
people contemplating marriage to practise 
living on fresh air, scenery and crackers for 
a month before taking the venture. Do not 
imagine that because your father and mother 
pulled through all right that you can do the 
same. They started in life when beefsteak 
was less than forty cents a pound; and while 
their moccasins were not very pretty, they 
took the place of five dollar shoes. Then 
autos in olden days were cheaper than they 
are now, instead of running with gasoline, 
spark plug and pesky carburetors, they ran 
with an ox yoke, a bull whip and a gee line; 
and while the old fashioned baby carriage 
was hard on the arms, it did not cost as much 
as the modern ones 

The Mormons, as is well known, came from 
Nauvoo, Ill., leaving there in 1846. They 
had a hard and slow march, as they had to 
ford or swim rivers, and their prairie schoon¬ 
ers did not float very fast, to the response of 
the bald faced ox. They arrived at what is 
now called Omaha, in July, having been over 
four months in crossing the state of Iowa. 
Here they struck camp for the winter and 
early in the spring of 1847 started for the long 
prairie and mountain drive. Here they had 
all sorts of hardships in crossing a country 





Mormon Tabernacle, Salt Lake, Utah 






















Mormon Temple, Salt Lake 


































MORMON UTAH 


481 


unknown to white man. They followed the 
N. Platte river until about two thirds of tne 
way across what is now Wyoming, then drop¬ 
ped on to the head waters of the Colorado 
and followed its tributaries until near the 
Utah line. Now heading southwest they 
arrived on the banks of the Jordan, July 24, 
1847 5 here they stopped to make their home 
with only rattlesnakes, savages and buffalos 
for neighbors. There is a romance in their 
story that reads like a novel, but this romance 
was tinged with avarice, imposition and super¬ 
stition. 

Religion appeals to the human race in any 
form. Where you have a strong advocate, 
you have followers; the populace is always 
ready to grasp at a promise, and follow a pro¬ 
phet. It is published as church history, that 
on May 15, 1829, Joseph Smith and Oliver 
Cowdery received from John the Baptist, 
the Levitical Priesthood. ‘‘It never rains, 
but it pours,” a few days after this the 
Apostles Peter, James and John, conferred 
upon him the Melchizedek Priesthood. I 
w r ill not question the man's honesty; but 
people oftentimes deceive themselves by 
drawing on their imagination. It is just as 
easy to overdraw you account here as in the 
bank. When a man goes out to peddle wares 
of any kind he always finds the buyers; of 
course, these buyers may get wise after the 


482 


A DRUMMER S EXPERIENCE 


goods are bought; but if you throw away the 
goods, then, you have admitted that your 
judgment was at fault, and that you have 
compromised yourself. It takes a strong man 
to sacrifice self for principle. I do not know 
if the people today believe all that has been 
told them; but I suspect they do not; this is 
an enlightened age and every man should 
think for himself. All hail! the telegraph, 
the railroad, the printing press and the public 
school, they are valiant warriors and will 
eventually win. You cannot convince a hu¬ 
man being that he is wrong in his religion or 
bis politics, he must convince himself; if 
you attempt to interfere he feels that you are 
intruding on his rights and he will resent it. 
He virtually says to you, “attend to your own 
business.” He is convinced of one thing, and 
that is, he has as much right to his opinion as 
you have to yours; and when it comes to an 
argument he will produce as much evidence 
as you do; and may make a more eloquent 
appeal, and stands a chance to win the case. 
Some of the churches and missionary societies 
make strong accusations against the Mormons. 
^Notably, the Missionary Tidings February 
issue, 1913, skins them alive, accusing 
them of everything from the greatest to the 
smallest crimes; It looks like there might be 
some jealousy here; at any rate, it is not con¬ 
sidered good taste to jump on a man for what 





MORMON UTAH 


483 


his grandfather did fifty years ago. There 
is no question by at one time the Mormon 
church took drastic measures to carry their 
point and to prohibit outsiders from coming 
into their country which they had developed. 
Possibly you and I would have done the same 
thing, under the same circumstances; we all 
wear different colored glasses. It might be 
well enough to try on the Mormon glasses, 
things might look more natural than they do 
now. I see the writer in ‘‘Missionary Tid¬ 
ings” is mistaken in one point concerning the 
tithing system. At one time, years ago, they 
did collect one-ten th of the products that were 
harvested by the members of the church; but 
they have lost out on this point. As the 
people became more enlightened, they refused 
to be duped into giving up their hard earned 
cash to maintain the officials in luxury and 
ease. I know of a fact that this one-tenth is 
absolutely refused by the members of the 
present day; and as for hauling in the products 
of the soil and depositing them in the tithing 
yard, that has not been done for twenty-five 
years. Where the old tithing yard with its high 
stone wall once stood, is now occupied by one of 
the finest hotels in the country. There is no 
question but that the leaders of the Mormon 
church have imposed on the ignorance of the 
people and are today operating in fields where 
intelligence is at a low ebb. A good farmer 








484 


A DRUMMER’S EXPERIENCE 


learns to cultivate where the soil is most 
fertile. I have some criticisms to make on 
the older members of the church. I have met 
quite a few who were very narrow in their 
views, they remind me of a terrapin in his 
shell; if you disturb his highness, he closes up, 
he is not able to answer you with argument, 
but he closes himself in his vault and lets the 
rain and hail pour. Another thing I suggest 
is they cut the appendix to their title.—“ Latter 
Day Saints,” might have sounded all right 
at one time, but not in the twentieth century. 
The word “Saint” is not applicable to mortal 
beings, and arouses suspicion when applied to 
them. I would not want to “swap horses” 
with a man who claimed to be a “ Saint.” 

But the people in Utah are not all Mormons 
by any means. There is a party known as 
the “American party,” that is leavening the 
whole state. Their ideas are being copied by 
the Mormons, and a lot of the young people 
(children of Mormons) are patronizing the 
progressive ideas. But where the young 
people do take the Mormon medicine they 
follow it up wth a dose of salts; and I heard 
of cases where they used a blood purifier in ad¬ 
dition. But to the material side of the case. 
These people have built them a magnificent 
temple for worship. It was started in 1853 
and completed in 1893. The idea was to 
carry out as nearly as possible, the parallel 




, MNf ■ 





Mormon Temple, Salt Lake City 


























Assembly Chamber, Salt Lake City 

















MORMON UTAH 


487 


of the exodus of Israel from Egypt; and the 
building of the temple at Jerusalum. The 
temple is 186 x 99. There are six towers, 
each terminating in a spire, the central tower 
is 222 feet high. The walls are 16 ft. thick 
at the bottom, and 6 feet thick at top. The 
extimated cost is $4,000,000. It is not open 
to the general public, no one allowed, except 
the orthodox Mormon. The regular church 
services are not held in the temple, it being 
used for rites and ceremonies. The tabernacle 
is the next point of interest. It is 250 feet 
long by 150 feet wide and has an oval roof, 
something like the half of an egg shell, cut 
lengthwise, the auditorium is a vast gallery 
extending around the inner wall, except where 
the organ and the choir is located. The 
seating caoacity is about 10,000. It is surely 
a model music hall. Here stands the wonder¬ 
ful organ, 30 x 33 feet, has 108 stops, over 5000 
pipes, some of the pipes being 32 feet long; 
and contains 4 key boards. Every Sunday at 
two p. m. there is a recital given here by an 
expert performer; this is free to the public. 
Just east of the temple is the old tithing yard, 
that at one time was a busy scene, when all 
the farmers drove their loads of hay, oats, 
wheat and barley inside its walls and turned 
them over to the custodian. Then went back 
home and drove the cow, the pigs, sheep and 
ducks into the pond. It must have looked 



















MORMON UTAH 


489 


like Noahs ark ready to sail. On the hill over¬ 
looking the Temple is the Beehive House so 
called from the construction of a small tower 
on top that resembles a beehive, the Lion 
House is also near by. These bouses were 
formerly occupied by Brigham Young’s fami¬ 
lies. These buildings are now used for colleges 
and reception halls, by the church. Eagle 
Gate spans State Street and is an imposing 
structure. On the hill just east of the Temple, 
is the grave of the former president, Brigham 
Young, who in his day was a man of un¬ 
questionable ability and power; a man who 
could control and sway men with the genius 
of a Napoleon. A man with iron nerve and 
undaunted will power; a man of tenacity and 
foresight; quick of perception, firm in judg¬ 
ment and a self-reliant, unconquerable leader. 
A man of magnetism; a man you had confi¬ 
dence in; a man who could hold other men in 
his grasp as you would a bundle of straw. A 
man of equal talent and ability would have 
been hard to find. No wonder the church 
honored him and the people gave him praise. 







Chapter LVII 

JOBS AND WHERE TO FIND THEM 

In selecting a position or job, try to get one 
that offers steady work the year around, even 
though the salary is small, it is better than 
one where the compensation is large and the 
work irregular. There are some communi¬ 
ties where it is almost impossible to secure 
permanent work. In that case, investigate 
other localities. But let me insist, do not be 
too particular as to what you work at. This 
is today the greatest cause of idleness, and 
when you get a job, give your boss good, 
honest work, and if he has to dispense with 
your services, you can always get another 
position in the same locality. There is no 
question but what a good, honest worker can 
get work. I have never seen it fail. If you 
are a skilled mechanic or operator, I would 
advise you to stay with your vocation. It 
may be advisable to seek a new location but 
try and secure the same kind of a job at your 
new home. Every boy and girl should be 
taught some business, so they can resort to it 
if necessary, even though they are raised in 
affluence and wealth. Self-reliance is the best 
bank account you can have. 


JOBS AND WHERE TO FIND THEM 491 


It is very essential that great care should be 
exercised in selecting your trade or profession. 
There is a great desire on the part of parents 
and children, to get away from the bench and 
the plow. If you will give the matter careful 
consideration, you will find that the profes¬ 
sions are getting crowded, more and more 
every year. It is getting harder for. a young 
man to make a start after he has equipped 
himself for his work. Whatever you select 
as your business, make yourself master of the 
business; no half-way measures will suffice. 
It is a day of competition and close rivalry,only 
the well equipped and ambitious can succeed. 
It is said that fortune favors the brave. That 
might do in war, but equipment is more essen¬ 
tial in business. I mean by equipment, to 
be a master of business conditions, and to be 
able to apply your knowledge, learn to govern 
your actions by your thoughts. Thinking is 
the rudder of life, that steers the ship off the 
rocks; lets out or takes in sail, at the proper 
time; it is also a barometer that tells of the 
approaching storm. 

As to where to find jobs, that depends on 
your ability and calling. If you are a day 
laborer, there is very little difference in locali¬ 
ties. In some sections the pay is a little bet¬ 
ter than in others, but where that is the case 
you will find that board and clothing are 
higher in that locality. As far as day labor 


492 


A DRUMMER’S EXPERIENCE 


is concerned, there is no new country 
any more. If you are a clerk or stenographer, 
the large cities are the best places to obtain 
work. If you are a professional man, a small 
town is best for you to make a start in. I 
would prefer the South. The main thing is 
to determine to be contented at the place you 
select as your home, and above all, do not 
complain to those around you. This is poor 
advertisement. A contented mind is capable 
of seeing good in all things. Do not be a 
kicker and fault finder; the world despises 
such a man. Do not covet other men their 
jobs and positions. I dare say that they 
bring them no more happiness, than yours does 
to you. 

If you should pull up and go to a new town 
or country, have you any assurance that you 
would be contented there? Men in the town 
you are thinking about going to, are preparing 
to come to yours. The foundation for con¬ 
tentment and prosperity is within you. Out¬ 
side surroundings have very little to do with 
your progress. A fair compensation for your 
labor is all that you should require. It is not 
the man that makes the most money that is 
the happiest. Wealth brings more cares than 
pleasures . The happiest men today on the 
continent are men who have an average in¬ 
come. “Peace and few things, are preferable 
to great possessions and great cares.” When 



JOBS AND WHERE TO FIND THEM 493 


you are disposed to grumble with yourself 
and conditions, stop and consider how much 
better your lot, than thousands of others 
around you. Do not imagine that slothful¬ 
ness is contentment; any more than affluence 
is happiness. There is a hapoy medium, and 
a wise man should be able to discern the 
boundary lines. If you have a disappoint¬ 
ment of hard luck, think that it might have 
been worse. What seems to be the best for 
us would often prove our undoing if we pos¬ 
sessed the object coveted. We do not say 
that you should not at all times avail yourself 
of the wholesome and beneficial advantages; 
but do not worry if you cannot attain your 
much desired ideal. Smile if the boss calls 
you down,—he might have fired you. 

Pure , and self-satisfied contentment is com¬ 
pound laziness. Be content with your ex¬ 
ertions, but not content in slothfulness. The 
ant works at all times, to prepare for the 
future; but does not worry over work not ac¬ 
complished. Worry brings nervousness and 
old age, and incapacitates you to accomplish 
your work. Sloth brings degradation, con¬ 
tempt and poverty. Then I would say take 
the middle road. This will lead you to the 
city of comfort, where you can quench your 
thirst with the waters of satisfaction; and 
surround yourself with the principles of hap¬ 
piness; instead of care and obligations. Too 




494 A DRUMMER’S EXPERIENCE 

much wealth is as bad as too much poverty; 
but it is hard to make the poor man believe 
this. He sees only the splendor. He has 
never tasted the gall mixed with the honey. 


Chapter LVIII 
HOBBIES, ETC 

Did you ever think seriously of this proposi¬ 
tion, that all mankind are cranks? Yes, I can 
prove it. Every man has a hobby and woman 
too. Some are more pronounced than others, 
that is, some can conceal their weakness bet¬ 
ter than others, but watch your most discreet 
man closely it will crop out. The most com¬ 
mon dream or hobby is our own perfection 
and the other man's faults. The knot of 
egotism on the average American is very large, 
we can no more hide our conceit than we can 
our actions. The most ridiculous thing 
imaginable is for the self opinioned man to 
feign innocence. He is as awkward as a dog 
eating straw, his mouth goes off like an auto 
tire explosion (when you least want it), though 
there is one redeeming feature about him, he 
usually reveals his position, and leaves down 
the guards. Yes, he always has a hobby and 
he rides it unmercifully; he will try to make 
you believe that the government will go to 
pieces unless his ideas are carried out. As 
for politics he is a past master and can foretell 
future events, usually has a lot of advice to 
give you on all subjects; and if you do not 


496 


A DRUMMER’S EXPERIENCE 


stand as still as the sphinx and listen to him, 
you are very rude. 

I have one severe criticism to make con¬ 
cerning the present process of manufacturing 
mirrors, the manufacturers have never learned 
the art of making them to reflect the true 
image back to the beholder, but possibly it 
is more the defect of the eye than the mirror. 
If we could only see ourselves as others see 
us, we might remedy a multitude of faults— 
but what is the use, we have worn colored 
glasses all our lives, and if we should change 
them for clear ones now the light would hurt 
our eyes, but we would be made to exclaim: 
“Oh! consistency , thou art a jewel” But let 
us not criticise too much. Hobbies in the 
right form, and in a moderate degree are all 
right. It is said that inventors are always 
cranks; but that is no proof that all cranks are 
inventors. A man who is a crank on any 
particular subject, ought to be able to develop 
something out of it, inasmuch as he devotes 
all of his time to that subject. 1 think the 
reason these people do not accomplish more, is 
because they run everything they undertake 
into the ridiculous, therefore, disgust, instead 
of please their hearers. You will observe that 
I think there are very few well balanced men 
and women. I mean by well balanced, peo¬ 
ple who look at things calmly and figure out 
the cause and effect of everything. People 


HOBBIES, ETC. 


497 


who can lo)k at everything unbiased and 
weigh with a just scale. People who are 
willing to give sixteen ounces of conscience 
to the pound are very scarce; but if you will 
accept their hobbies at par they will break the 
balances in giving good measure. 





Chapter LIX 

ALTITUDE, TEMPERATURE, ETC 

Altitude is uot generally understood. The 
reason for the temperature becoming colder 
as we ascend is that the earth is warmed by 
the sun and radiates heat warming the air. 
Consequently the higher you ascend on a 
given plane the colder it becomes. The 
average fall of temperature is one degree for 
every 300 feet of ascent. 

Climate is a state of the atmosphere as re¬ 
gards heat and moisture. It often varies 
greatly in places not far apart. This is very 
noticeable in mountainous regions that are 
adjacent to coast valleys. 

Altitude affects some people more than 
others. If you have strong lungs, good cir¬ 
culation and you are not nervous you can 
ascend to from 12,000 to 15,000 feet above the 
level of the sea without any inconvenience. 
But if your heart action is not good do not 
venture over 7,000 feet and if your lungs are 
weak 1 would not advise you going above 
6,000 feet. While you might go higher with¬ 
out fatal results, still the strain on the heart 
and the extra exertion of the lungs is too 
severe. If you are affected with lung trouble, 





ALTITUDE, TEMPERATURE, ETC. 499 


it is very essential that you get to a dry cli¬ 
mate with a moderate altitude and an even 
temperature. There is only one time to make 
the change and that time is when you suspect 
that you have the dreaded disease. If you 
wait until your lungs are partly wasted, you 
are past redemption. The change then is too 
great, and the lungs cannot stand the extra 
strain that is required of them to inhale a 
sufficient supply of oxygen. The lungs have 
to expand mere in performing their functions 
in a high altitude, therefore the strain is 
greater. This extra expansion is exactly what 
the lungs need in the early stages. It opens 
up all the cells and clears them of the dead 
particles of matter which if left will decay. 

Thousands of people have been cured by 
coming West. If they act at once when the 
first indication of trouble is detected it is al¬ 
most a sure cure. If you wait too long then 
it is of no use. You might just as well stay 
where you are with your friends where you 
can get good care. Take plenty of exercise 
in good weather and try not to contract colds. 

A dry climate with about 5,000 to 6,000 feet 
of elevation is usually good for asthma and 
bronchial troubles. Colorado and New Mexi¬ 
co have the best climates in the United States 
for people who are run down and need rest. 
The atmosphere is very bracing and invigorat¬ 
ing; and will assist nature in building up the 


500 


A DRUMMER’S EXPERIENCE 


weakened )rgans of the body. There is no 
malaria in these states. The jld timers had 
a strong way of expressing it. They said 
that when they wished to start a grave yard 
they had to kill a man. 

By referring to the following table of alti¬ 
tudes you can select a place that should be 
suited to your condition. Always remem¬ 
ber that altitude has as much to do with 
temperature as latitude. 


State 
and City 

Alabama— Alt. 

Birmingham. . . . 606 

Montgomery... . 222 

Arizona— 

Douglas. 3,955 

Phoenix. 1,082 

Arkansas— 

Little Rock.... . 299 

Van Buren. 406 

Californi a— 

Long Beach.... 47 

Los Angeles... . 338 

Oakland. 36 

Pasadena. 829 

Redlands. 1,335 

Sacramento. 30 

San Diego. 42 

San Francisco... 155 

Colorado— 

Leadville.10,185 

Canon City. 6,330 

Colo. Springs. . . 6,072 
Cripple Creek.. . 9,591 


State 
and City 

Alt, 

Denver.5,379 

Grand Junction. 4,573 

Pueblo. 4,690 

Connecticut- 
New London.... 45 

Watertown. 484 

Delaware— 

Dover. 40 

Wilmington. 78 

District of Columbia— 
Washington. ... 91 

Florida— 

Jacksonville.... 43 

Key West. 22 

St. Augustine... 7 

Georgia— 

Atlanta. 1,032 

Augusta. 100 

Rome. 612 

Idaho— 

Boise City. 2,739 

Pocatello. 4,482 






















ALTITUDE, TEMPERATURE, ETC. 501 


State 

and City Alt. 

Illinois— 

Bloomington.... 781 

Chicago. 580 

Springfield. 598 

Indiana— 

Evansville. 378 

Indianapolis... . 720 

Terre Haute... . 485 

Iowa—■ 

Cedar Rapids... 733 

Des Moines. 861 

Sioux City. 1,135 

Kansas— 

Atchison. 760 

Ft. Scott. 800 

Topeka. 998 

Kentucky— 

Frankfort. 560 

Lexington. 989 

Louisville. 525 

Louisiana— 

Baton Rouge.... 19 

New Orleans.... 5 

Maine— 

Augusta. 47 

Bangor. 24 

Portland. 26 

Maryland— 

Annapolis. 20 

Baltimore. 123 

Cumberland. . . . 650 

Westminster.... 700 

Massachusetts— 

Boston. 125 

Holyoke. 954 


State 

and City Alt. 

Michigan— 

Battle Creek.... 823 

Kalamazoo. 778 

Minnesota—• 

Duluth. 602 

Minneapolis. ... 782 

Mississippi— 

Jackson. 288 

Vicksburg. 196 

Missouri— 

Jefferson City... 437 

Kansas City.... 963 

Montana— 

Billings. 3,117 

Butte. 5,484 

Nebraska— 

Alliance. 3,968 

Lincoln. 1,189 

Omaha. 1,123 

Nevada— 

Reno. 4,484 

New Hampshire— 

Concord. 244 

Laconia. 507 

New Jersey— 

Atlantic City... 52 

Princeton. 209 

Trenton. 60 

New Mexico— 

Albuquerque.... 5,008 

Santa Fe. 7,013 

New York— 

Albany. 18 

Buffalo. 576 

New York City. 54 





































502 


A DRUMMER’S EXPERIENCE 


State 

and City Alt. 

North Carolina— 

Asheville. 2,250 

Raleigh. 363 

North Dakota— 

Bismarck.. 1,672 

Devils Lake. . .. 1,465 
Ohio— 

Cincinnati. 628 

Cleveland. 762 

Toledo. 628 

Oklahoma—- 

Muskogee. 588 

Oklahoma City. 1,159 
Oregon— 

Astoria. 15 

Baker City. 2,471 

Portland. 11 

Pennsylvania— 

Erie. 713 

Philadelphia.... 9 

Pittsburg. 842 

Rhode Island— 

Newport. 44 

Providence. 11 

South Carolina— 

Charlestown.... 10 

Sumter. 578 

South Dakota— 

Dead wood. 4,543 

Lead. 5,119 

Pierre. 1,400 


State 

and City Alt. 

Tennessee— 

Chattanooga.... 674 

Knoxville. 933 

Memphis. 117 

Texas— 

Austin. 650 

El Paso. 3,762 

Fort Worth. 670 

Dallas. 436 

Utah— 

Ogden.4,307 

Salt Lake. 4,248 

Vermont— 

Montpelier. 484 

Rutland. 562 

Virginia— 

Alexandria. 47 

Richmond. 164 

West Virginia— 

Charlestown.. . . 602 

Wheeling. 637 

Washington—■ 

Bellingham. 60 

Seattle. 19 

Spokane. 1,891 

Wisconsin— 

Milwaukee. 636 

Superior. 628 

Wyoming— 

Cheyenne. 6,088 

Sheridan.10 385 




































Chapter LX 

VOCATIONS 

I want to be of benefit to everyone who 
reads these pages and will do all I can to assist 
you. I presume I am talking to a goodly 
number of young people w r ho have not as yet 
selected their vocation in life. A great deal 
of care should be exercised in selecting an occu¬ 
pation. You should consider well your dis¬ 
position, habits, inclinations, and ability. 

It is a very difficult task to select an occu¬ 
pation for a person you do not know; but I 
will give general principles that may help you 
to decide as to what is best for you to attempt. 

If a girl, and you have talent and a true 
desire to learn music, the piano or violin will 
make you a good living, if you care to teach 
them. If you detest practice, do not attempt 
it. You may have talent but you will never 
succeed, because you will not apply yourself. 

If you delight in children, and they take 
an interest in you, prepare yourself for public 
school teaching. 

If you are patient, kind and gentle, be a 
trained nurse. They make good money and 
have steady employment in the cities. 

Shorthand and typewriting is not bad, and 




504 


A DRUMMER’S EXPERIENCE 


if you will take a business course and study 
forms and legal documents you can fit your¬ 
self for a good position in any city or good- 
sized town. 

I would not advise you to be a clerk. It 
means poor pay, long hours, and hard work. 

A young man has a greater field to select 
from than a girl, though he should study his 
disposition and talent closer. He is supposed 
to follow his chosen occupation for life, where¬ 
as a girl generally accepts a position merely 
as a temporary matter, expecting to get 
married soon, and so take up housekeeping. 

The field of civil engineering at the present 
time seems attractive, the openings in the 
West are numerous and the pay is good. 

Chemistry is just now attracting seme of 
the brightest young men. The government 
employs quite a number of chemists in its 
laboratories. Sugar factories and manufac¬ 
turing plants of different kinds, also employ 
a great many. The pay is moderate at first; 
but there are many opportunites for advance- 
men t. 

The law has always had its share of practi¬ 
tioners. Do not undertake law, unless you 
have a natural talent for debate, and have a 
good memory. You will also need some 
backing for four or five years until you can 
get started. The law offers great possibilities. 
Nearly all of our judges and men high in 


VOCATIONS 


505 


politics come from the legal class. Bat it is 
a strenuous life and there are a great many 
failures in it. 

Do not be a doctor unless you have an over¬ 
whelming desire for that profession. This 
vocation is badly crowded 

There are good openings for general con¬ 
tractors and these usually pay well, but this 
is a business you cannot learn from books. 
You should get a position as time-keeper, and 
later on foreman, for some good contractor. 
Then eventually you can launch out for your¬ 
self. This is a business that will not be over¬ 
crowded in your lifetime. 

If you are a good mixer, a convincing talker, 
and a man of nerve, the commercial business 
will suit you. It will bring you good returns 
if you get started right. I w 7 ould advise you 
to secure a position in some reputable whole¬ 
sale grocery, or, better yet, in a drygoods 
store, if it is nothing but assistant bookkeeper, 
stenographer, or general roustabout. Start 
here at any price and build up. Post your¬ 
self in every line, be honest with your em¬ 
ployer, do good work for him and you will 
come out all right. If he offers you a job at 
anything, take it, he is watching you and 
knows what you are good for. Some day 
you will be on the road earning $500 a month, 
and one day, you may be one of the bosses of 


506 


A DRUMMER’S EXPERIENCE 


the house. Make the right selection at first, 
and stay with that house. 

If indoor work does not suit you, keep your 
eye open for a good high-grade, high-priced 
specialty to sell on commission. Do not take 
a cheap article; it is as hard to sell a cheap 
article as it is to sell a high-priced one. if you 
have one of merit. A great many men have 
made their fortunes selling specialties in the 
last twenty years. 

. I do not recommend the retail store as a 
business. Too much detail; too much credit; 
too many risks to take, in stock and changing 
styles. 

If you are a farmer at present and well 
located in a good section of the country, stay 
with it. If you are not in a good locality, find 
one; the sooner the better. A practical farm¬ 
er should have no trouble making a living 
and at the same time saving some money. 
This vocation should get better from year to 
year. You will work harder than your city 
brother; but you will not have his vexations 
and uncertainties. 

To the young man who wants to equip him¬ 
self for a position of any kind, I would give 
the following advice: 

Stay in the public or High School at home 
until through with the courses taught there; 
then select a school adapted to the teaching of 
the profession you have in mind. Try to 


VOCATIONS 


507 


select a school of some reputation. Take a 
thorough course. Do not quit until you are 
capable of standing alone. After you have 
graduated and are ready for the battle, do 
not settle in your home town. “ A prophet is 
not without honor, save in his own country.” 
Usually a small town is a good place to make 
a start in life, as competition is not so keen 
in an out of the way place. There is room, 
enough in the West for a great number of men 
of all classes. Some parts of the West are set¬ 
tling up fast, with all kinds of people, and if 
you strike a locality like that, you are at once 
on equal footing with others. If you do not 
object to getting out of civilization, you might 
try Alaska, but youTl have to take a pocket¬ 
ful of determination with you. This is just as 
essential as money up there. At present Flori¬ 
da, the Dakotas, Montana, Wyoming, Colo¬ 
rado and New Mexico are good places to 
locate in. You can write the Boards of Trade 
in the different sections and ascertain if there 
is any opening in your line. And be careful 
in selecting your acquaintances in your new 
home. Association and good standing are 
great prerequisites to success. 




Chapter LXI 

WHY PEOPLE DOUBT YOUR ARGUMENTS 

It has always been a mystery to some people 
as to why their word was doubted. These 
people are as honest in their statements as 
the average person; but when they tell you 
of an occurrence you have your doubts about 
the accuracy of the statements or the details. 
You seem to doubt their authority although 
you may not know the source of their informa¬ 
tion. As for asking this man for advice you 
would not think of such a thing. You may 
not doubt his veracity. He is as honest as 
his neighbors, and stands well in the com¬ 
munity. Then, what is the matter? The 
party in question has no prestige, no individu¬ 
ality, no force of character. It is possible to 
overcome most of these faults or defects by 
training and self-confidence. It is impossible 
for that man to re-instate himself in the good 
graces of the people at once. He is like a man 
that has been to the pen—it takes a long time 
to live down the prejudice. 

If y>u lack power of expression the fault 
can be overcome by cultivation. Make it 
a rule to rehearse the subject in your mind 
before trying to deliver it to anyone and when 


PEOPLE DOUBT YOUR ARGUMENTS 509 


you do deliver it speak firm and distinctly. 
Do not try to put too much stress on the dif¬ 
ferent points of interest, and do not tell it in 
an insinuative way. This one thing is possi¬ 
bly your greatest trouble. You may have 
been a fault-finder and non-appreciative of 
the efforts of others. The public hates a man 
or woman who is always casting insinuations, 
spoken or implied. Possibly you are one 
of the kind who suspects everybody. Get 
that out of your mind. There are millions 
of people just as good as you are and these 
people have high and lofty aims. I heard 
a sentiment expressed recently, that fits a 
great many people. A lady said to her friend, 
U I have come to the point that I do not be¬ 
lieve anybody any more except you, and some¬ 
times I think that you deceive me.” I do not 
advocate the idea that you should believe 
everything you hear; you should strain the 
gossip of the neighborhood twice before serving. 
The news that you read in the yellow journals 
you can pick out and believe one word in three. 

P >wer of c m vernation is one of the greatest 
assets we have. I would insist that you 
analyze the subject in your mind and bring 
out the strong points. A multiplication of 
words does not always convict. It is the 
manner in which the sentences are spoken. 
You must learn to be master of yourself, be¬ 
fore you can control others. No man can 



510 


A DRUMMER’S EXPERIENCE 


speak a thing forcibly or make a point, unless 
he is posted on the subject discussed. If you 
are describing anythmg you must understand 
the situation. If you are a salesman you must 
understand your goods and you must under¬ 
stand other goodsin the same class. Let me 
insist on one very important point. Do not 
reflect on the other man's judgment. This 
will destroy confidence quicker than anything 
else you can do. When you are conversing 
on any subject, learn to look your CDmpany 
squarely in the eye. The eye is the window 
of the soul; and if you are honest it will carry 
conviction. 

Your arguments are often doubted because 
the world doubts your motives. In order to 
sway the world you must be honest. Honest 
in actions as well as in words. Don’t be de¬ 
ceived; the world knows you better than you 
know yourself. 

If you only knew yourself, you could correct 
your faults by persistent efforts. But most 
important of all, you must tell the truth. 
The man or woman who tells a lie once a 
week blasts their hopes for making money, and 
brand themselves on the forehead as frauds. 
A falsifier is like a balloon with a hole in the 
gas-bag. The balloon starts off with a bound, 
but the leak brings it to the ground pre¬ 
maturely. The liar inflates himself with gas 


PEOPLE DOUBT YOUR ARGUMENTS 511 


also, but he strains the stitches. He begins 
to fall. He resorts to the parachute. The 
wind is against him and it will not open 
All that he can say is, “good-bye wife and 
potato patch!” 



Chapter LXII 
SALESMANSHIP 

Gentlemen, a salesman is a queer animal. 
When I say salesman, I do not refer to an 
order-taker, neither do I refer to a traveling 
man. Here are three separate breeds of the 
same species. A traveling-man is one who 
stops at the best hotels, dresses well, tries to 
make a ten-strike with all the girls, tells you 
about all the big deals he has made, and 
writes his house about the bad conditions of 
trade. An order-taker is a man who sells a 
staple line of goods, has an established list of 
customers who as a rule buy on credit; and 
have to buy of this order-taker. What this 
drummer needs is long legs, good digestion, 
and no desire to sleep, unless it be between the 
stations. The salesman is the man who 
understands his goods, understands his com¬ 
petitor’s goods, is master of himself, and knows 
his customer. Yes, knows his customer by 
the time he steps into his store and meets his 
eye. In order to sell goods you must be a 
judge of human nature. If you have never 
learned this knack you must get busy . This is 
the most essential weapon of the salesman. 
When you approach your customer say to 


SALESMANSHIP 


513 


yourself, “Is this an easy-going, jolly, familiar 
person, or is he dignified and austere?” This 
question should be easy for you after a few 
turn-downs , and a little study. If your man 
is familiar and easy-going, you can be careless 
and. at ease. If he is dignified and thinks that 
he is the only pebble on the beach, let him 
think so. Have respect for his feelings. Do 
not contradict him. Praise him in a mild 
way, but be very careful on this point. If he 
suspects that you are trying to flatter him in 
order to carry your point, the fat is in the fire 
and he will not buy your goods even though 
he wants them. Do not try to pass the time 
with this man, or try to give him any stale 
jokes—he will not stand hitched. Be firm 
and dignified, yet not cold, or domineering. 
Handle him with gloves until you get him 
interested then you can make assertions, and 
assert yourself. When you ask him for the 
order ask him how many dozen or pair he 
can use. Ask him if the goods or wares will 
not suit his trade. If he is slow in giving his 
order do not bore him, turn the conversation 
for a while, then come back to where you left 
off. Above all things do not get nervous, or 
too anxious, until you get him coming your 
way, then make him a candid, flatfooted prop¬ 
osition. Let him know that you are posted 
in the price of goods, as well as quality. If 
your prices and goods are right, he is yours. 
If your man is easy-going you can afford to 





514 


A DRUMMER’S EXPERIENCE 


be familiar, though not too much so. Familiarity 
breeds contempt. On approaching a cus¬ 
tomer do not assume to know too much at 
first. Feel your way—learn your customer’s 
weak points, and train your artillery accord¬ 
ingly. If he is inclined to think fast, and you 
find that he is nervous, try to spring something 
that will stop the flood, and turn the tide in 
another direction on the same subject. Do not 
let him get away from you, nor allow him to 
think that he has won a victory. Do not 
ask him to buy until you can lead him like 
a lamb, and have convinced him that you are 
master of the situation. From that time it is 
easy sailing. Here is a man you can praise 
all you want to after he believes in you. Do 
not ask a customer to buy too soon , weigh his 
actions—they speak louder than words. When 
he says “No,” you must be the judge of what 
this “No” means. With some men it means 
“No.” With others it means procrastination 
or taking time to think. Now is your time 
to step in and do his thinking for him. Show 
him by precept and example, by cause and 
effect that your goods are the best. Now 
show your personality, bring out all the re¬ 
serve force within you. As the Indian Chief, 
Cornstalk, once said, “Be Strong.” Be per¬ 
sistent, if you do not land him now you never 
will. He is under your influence—he is will¬ 
ing to be guided and if you do not get the 
order it is your own fault. 


SALESMANSHIP 


515 


These two modes of procedure referred to 
will do for two different classes of men but 
will not apply to women. To sell women the 
first impression is the thing. You must be a 
gentleman. Not only that but you must be a 
ladies’ man. When you have their confidence, 
it is easy sailing. The wind may change but 
you can tack, let out or take in sail, keep an 
eye on the rudder and you will land safely. 

There is a false idea in some people’s minds 
that a drummer is rough. Nothing is farther 
from the truth. If he is disposed to be too 
rough his customer loses confidence and re¬ 
spect. If you do not respect yourself others 
will not respect you. A salesman loses his 
prestige, the moment he sacrifices his manli¬ 
ness. INFLUENCE IS HALF THE GAME 
IN SELLING GOODS. Show to your cus¬ 
tomer that you are honorable. Do not eulo¬ 
gize yourself, do not brag on yourself, do not 
be big I. Never let your customer catch you 
in a lie. Do not abuse your competitor or 
his goods. Do not condemn goods that your 
customer has on his shelves. Be fair and talk 
the merits of your own goods. Show quality 
and do not talk price too much. 

Be honest with your employer. Do not 
imagine that you can soldier on him without 
his finding it out. He knows what business 
to expect from your territory in a given time. 
He knows the mileage and the price of hotels. 
The over-coat deal was worked before you got 





516 


A DRUMMER’S EXPERIENCE 


on the road. Postage stamps cost only two cents 
each everywhere in the United States. Tips 
may bring smiles , but no business. Your boss 
may stand for a few cigars, but no drinks. 
Your house is not making a specialty of com¬ 
piling kicks and complaints. When they 
want your advice on running the business they 
will ask for it. Your boss knows that your 
competitor sells goods below your price list 
but he says “our goods are right." There 
are new instructions to conductors on the 
railroad. They are not allowed to hold their 
train more than half an hour for a traveling 
man to get his baggage checked. If you go on 
an automobile trip see that ALL RADIA¬ 
TORS are filled with water ONLY. Don't 
put your girl's letter in your wife's envelope! 
The thermometer might take a sudden rise. 
Telegraph lines have no respect for a travel¬ 
ing man's feelings. I know of a case where 
they delivered a message “COLLECT", tell¬ 
ing him to ship in his samples. 

If the boss calls you down, look pleasant— 
he might have fired you—and remember that 
all criminal judges impose a heavier fine on 
the second offense. Also that a job is as hard 
to locate as a man without faults. 

Good luck to the drummer that is onto his job; 

He will make you feel cheerful with a smile and a nod. 

If I was in hard luck and stranded in town, 

I would not be afraid to “hit him” for a pound. 


Chapter LXIII 
CANADA 


If you would like 
to take a little 
stroll, come with 
me and we will 
walk over and call 
on our cousin, 
“Johnny Bull 
Canook.” He is a 
nice boy and you 

will like him, and 
Beauty Spot in the Rockies, B.C. you wiU be sur _ 

prised to see how be is growing; his head 
now is even with his Uncle Sam’s shoulders, 
and he is surely well posted for a boy of his 
age. Not only that, he has a bank account, 
cattle and land enough for an empire. Let’s 
enter his domain at the City of Vancouver. 
Here on this city’s site a few years ago, 
grew the fir and cedar trees that are now 
serving in an honorable position; in the busi¬ 
ness blocks of the metropolis of the Canadian 
west. Here is one of the finest harbors in 
the country and is the western terminus of 
the C. P. R., the only railroad on the American 
continent that goes from Atlantic to Pacific; 







518 


A DRUMMER’S EXPERIENCE 


here also is a fine line of steamers that will 
carry you to Hawaii, Australia, Japan and 
China; and I can assure you they are no fish¬ 
ing boats. I will have you understand, the 
Empress of China, and the Empress of Japan 
are good enough for me to ride on, so I think 
they will do for you. Vancouver is near the 
mouth of the Frazer river, one of the greatest 



Lighthouse, Georgia Bay, B. C., Canada 


salmon streams on the globe. New West¬ 
minster is up the river a few miles, and is 
connected by railway and trolley lines. This 
is quite a manfacturing city and large fish 
canneries are located here. Just a short dis¬ 
tance from this place is the town of Chilliwac 




CANADA 


5J9 


in a small fertile valley. If I had a home in 
this valley and a small tract of land, I would 
not take a thousand dollars an acre for it. I 
saw some relics of early days at the old 
dilapidated town of Yale, that were very inter¬ 
esting. This town was the head of naviga¬ 
tion long before the railroad found its way 
through the mountains. But prior to this 
time, the never sleeping gold hunter had dis¬ 
covered gold in the Cariboo country hundreds 
of miles to the north. What can be done? 
We must blast a wagon road through solid 
granite on the sides of mountains for a hun¬ 
dred miles; we must build wagons especially 
adapted to the country they are to traverse; 
we must have teams to pull six tons, on a 
wagon, over frail bridges; and precipices 
hanging over rivers like bats, nests in a cave. 
No, we do not need men of iron nerve that 
will take their lives in their hands; we are 
overstocked with them in this town of Yale. 
I saw some paraphernalia that had been dis¬ 
carded years ago, when the old trail was 
abandoned. I was particularly interested in 
a wagon wheel, that I think must have been 
seven feet in diameter, and had spokes as 
large as a man’s ankle; and there was enough 
iron in the tires to start a blacksmith shop. 
Near this place I also had another experience 
that I am likely to remember. I undertook 
to cross the Frazer river after night in a small 




520 


A DRUMMER’S EXPERIENCE 


fishing boat. I had no conversation with the 
man that was to ferry me across, until I gob 
into the boat and was out in the stream, then I 
discovered that he was beastly drunk, the 
river was up and running like a scared dog. 
When the current struck us it twisted us 
around, we got into a whirlpool—yes, we got 
out, but I am grey-headed and bald too. 

Now if your nerves are steady we will take 
the C. P. R. east, but do not look out of the 
window, your head will swim. When we get 
up about Thompson, you will think that we 
are on a railroad that goes to the moon. The 
engineer who surveryed this road was surely 
afraid of water. All the water of Noah’s 
flood would not have reached the tracks. We 
wind around the mountains like a crippled 
snake hunting for a hole, while hundreds of 
feet below you rushes the mad torrent of the 
Frazer and Thompson rivers. Is this scenery 
wild? I guess so, it would scare a mountain 
lion to look at it. To a man that was raised 
on the prairies this trip is worth more than a 
collegiate course. The road bed is fine, the 
equipment is good, and you glide along as 
smoothly as an aeroplane, but say—hold 
your breath when you cross a canon. At last 
we reach Kamloops; here w r e find a pleasant 
little valley and five or six stores, and im¬ 
mense storehouses to hold the merchandise 
for the Yale and Cariboo countries. Revel- 


CANADA 


521 

stoke is a lumbering town, and divisional 
point on the Columbia river. Now if you 
want to take in the Kootenay country and 
view some of the prettiest lakes on the globe, 
this is the time to do it. There is a net work 
of so-called lakes that in reality are just broad 
places in the Columbia river. These lakes are 
formed between mountains, caused by im¬ 
mense dams thrown up by nature from mount- 



old Hen and Chickens, Georgia Bay 

ain to mountain. The river has filled these 
immense reservoirs, some of them hundreds of 
feet deep, and I have been told that in some 
places bottom has never been sounded. The 
water is so clear, and the reflection so perfect 
of the vegetation and trees that extend to the 
water’s edge, that it gives the water a bluish 
green cast. You can take a photograph of a 










522 


A DRUMMER’S EXPERIENCE 


mountain side, and the reflection in the water 
will be almost as perfect as the mountain it¬ 
self. Take a ride on one of the small boats 
that ply between the towns and view a village 
at a mile distant with its white cottages on the 
shore, and the mountains with their spruce 
and pine as a background; is surely a picture 



Falls of the Bow River, Alberta, Canada 

worth framing. We must not pass Banff 
without. stopping. This is the playground, 
the National Park of Canada, and it is surely 
beautifully located. Surrounded by precip¬ 
itous mountains, yes, bald, frowning cliffs. 
There is a small town located here on the Bow 
river, in a small valley, an ideal place to rest; 




CANADA 


523 


it has a fine, large hotel built on a cliff over¬ 
hanging the river. Now if you want to think 
of all the mean things you ever did, and make 
good resolutions for the future, sit on this 
porch, cross your legs and go after it! I am 
going down and take a plunge in the hot 
springs, will be back in about an hour. Well 
I am ready for a walk now. I am a great 
pedestrian, I learned that on the road. We will 
walk below town about a mile and see the 
buffalo herd, a relic of bygone days, a monu¬ 
ment of a noble race, which fell among thieves, 
and was slaughtered for his coat; the Cana¬ 
dian and U. S. Governments have taken steps 
to protect him, but it is too late to lock the 
door after the horse is stolen. He does not 
thrive in captivity. He is now penned in on 

a few hundred 
acres, while he 
formerly had for 
his pasture, 
from the Rockies 
to the Missouri, 
and he was lord 
of all he sur¬ 
veyed. No won¬ 
der he oines. 

Canadian Soldiers of the Northwest Dutchman 

under such conditions would commit suicide. 
Now take a last look at this little family, 
give them your sympathy and bid good-bye to 





524 


A DRUMMER’S EXPERIENCE 


the rocks and crags. We now head for the 
plains of Alberta, where the meadow larks 
sing in the fields, and the golden grain is 
waving and waiting for the quartet that sings 
“The Old Oaken Bucket.” For it is a recog¬ 
nized fact among city people, that you cannot 
harvest the grain without having the four 
strapping young fellows to sing at noon-tide; 
the housewife does not mind waiting dinner 
a half hour to allow the boys a chance to show 
their musical talent. There have been great 
improvements in this country in the last ten 
years, the railroads have pentrated mountains 
and plains, and enabled the settlers to dispose 
of the crops, while formerly the outlying dis¬ 
tricts were so far from railroads that it was im¬ 
possible to get crops to market. This province 
is dotted with quite a number of lakes, which 
can be utilized for irrigation. There are some 
irrigating ditches in operation at the present 
time, but not very many. There is plenty of 
room for capital here, and the Canadian gov¬ 
ernment is liberal in its concessions. From 
Calgary east .for seven hundred miles, is a 
solid wheat belt, and if you feel like working 
get off your Sunday clothes and put on your 
jumpers. You will find the QUARTET down 
in the field. The last time I was through this 
country was in 1900. At that time there was 
only one railroad in the province of Saskatch¬ 
ewan, now there are lines running in all di- 


CANADA 


525 


rections, and elevators at all stations to take 
care of the grain. Every country has its 
good and bad features. I will try to give 
both without partiality, or with the intent of 
doing anyone an injury; here is some of the 
fiest soil I ever saw, and a lot of it; there is 
no question about the fertility, it will raise 
as many bushels of wheat to the acre as any 
land in the United States, and in addition to 
this the grass is very nutritious. The cattle 
that come off the range are fat enough for 
beef; but you can raise no corn here, conse¬ 
quently, hogs are not very profitable, and it 
is too far north for many varieties of fruit. 
It is a prairie country, being very little timber 
of any kind—what is found is cottonwood on 
the creek banks, though in Alberta there 
are good coal banks on the Saskatchewan 
river, also at Estevan in the Province of 
Saskatchewan. It is very cold in the winter, 
the thermometer going often to forty below; 
in the summer it is warm during the day, and 
cool at night. There is a great deal of this 
land, which can be homesteaded, or you can 
buy a claim at a reasonable price. I consider 
it a good place for a poor man, but go with a 
mosquito bar and a smudge, you will surely 
have to fight your way. They are no more 
energetic than the Jersey kind, but they have 
larger families, and when they pay you a visit 
it is always on business. You will like the 


526 


A DRUMMER’S EXPERIENCE 


Canadian—he is a practical, up-to-date, and 
sociable gentleman; but if he should ask you to 
take a Scotch highball with him, take one only. 
Do not get it into your head that you are going 
to have a lot of fun by showing your liberality, 
he will raise you two; you will think he has a 
false pocket to put them in. There are a 
great many Scotch through this section and 
are a good class of citizens. 

Winnipeg is the Chicago of Canada, and is 
growing fast in wealth and population. 

It is not generally known that the area of 
Canada is greater than the United States, but 
such is the case, though there is a vast deal of 
that country, that is so far north, so cold, and 
the seasons so short, that it is not practical 
for farming. Cattle raising is carried on ex¬ 
tensively in a great portion of this territory. 
The northwest of Canada is the greatest 
wheat field on the American continent. Spring 
wheat is raised exclusively. There is one 
thing that you must reckon with, that is early 
frost. Once in a great while a frost comes in 
August or early September and injures the 
wheat crop very badly; but this does not 
occur very often. There is a vast territory 
in Western Canada that is being settled up 
rapidly—just here I want to suggest that if 
you want a home in a new country you had 
better get busy. There is very little desirable 
land left that can be homesteaded, either in 





m 




•mmm 






' 


Courthouse, Quebec 























/ 



Montcalm Statue, Quebec, Canada 

















CANADA 


529 


United States or Canada, that is adjacent to 
market and has railroad facilities. Rainfall 
is plentiful for the kind of crops that are 
grown in Manitoba. In the other two states 
named, irrigation is needed to be sure of a 
good yield. There is very little fruit grown in 
Western Canada. I have been through that 
section of the country several times, and I do 
not remember of ever seeing a peach, pear or 
apricot tree; fruit of all kinds is scarce. 
Watermelons are quite a rarity. 1 saw melons 
in Moose Jaw shipped from Georgia, that 
sold for 75 cents to $1.00 apiece for aver¬ 
age size. The more hardy varieties of vege¬ 
tables grow to perfection in Canada. Celery, 
cabbage, cauliflower, beets, turnips, parsnips, 
etc., grow in abundance. Corn does not 
mature, and is very seldom planted. Barley 
yields a bounteous harvest and is one of the 
principal crops. The face of the country is 
very pretty in the spring and summer; the 
prairies are covered with wild flowers, and a 
very luxuriant growth of wild grass. 

Ducks and geese abound in the ponds, and 
shooting is fine. If a man is anything of a 
marksman he need not come home empty- 
handed. Deer, bear and elk are plentiful in 
the mountains, and moose in abundance in¬ 
habit the regions of the lakes; cariboo are 
fairly plentiful in the northern portions of the 
dominion. Perhaps some of my readers may 


530 


A DRUMMER’S EXPERIENCE 


not be familiar with the elk, moose and cari¬ 
boo. I will therefore endeavor to describe 
the three species of wild animals that inhabit 
the northern portion of the United States and 
Canada. The elk is of a dark brown color, its 
general makeup is somewhat like a deer, 
though is darker in color; its horns are much 
larger, mouth and face resemble the domestic 
calf, its shoulders are thin and a little higher 
than its hips; the elk weighs when full grown 
about six to seven hundred pounds. The 
n.oose is a larger animal than the elk, and has 
very heavy horns. The horns on leaving the 
head flatten out as broad as your two hands, 
and extend some two feet from the head before 
they divide; then they separate, and form 
four or five prongs, about six to ten inches 
in length. The moose has a big mouth with 
large blunt nose, has a great deal of endur¬ 
ance and is a great fighter in the water. The 
bull moose should weigh about nine hundred 
pounds when grown. Its meat is considered 
of good quality by the hunter. The cariboo 
inhabits the extreme north of Canada, and 
its nature is something akin to the mountain 
sheep. Its body is round, and its coat is 
about the color of an Antelope. The texture 
of its meat is fine; it is not very plentiful, and 
the hunter is in good luck when he bags one. 
The cougar and mountain lion are plentiful 
in British Columbia, they are not hunted 


CANADA 


531 


much as their pelts are not valuable; though 
if you want a little exctiement, this is a good 
place to get it. I would advise you to take a 
half dozen good dogs that are accustomed to 
this kind of game, to have your life insured 
before you start, and carry a good repeating 
Winchester, and by all means get an old 
hunter to accompany you. You may need 
his experience, which is very essential at 
times. 

If you should visit this country, you would 
be well impressed with the people, they are in 
a flourishing condition, genteel and well 
educated, will treat you like a gentleman and 
welcome you to their land, they like to have 
Yankees visit them. 

In Montreal you will find a flourishing city 
of a mixed population, mostly of French 
origin. These have some very old-fashioned 
ideas, but are fast becoming Americanized; 
in Quebec, you will find two towns in one; 
the upper town is settled with progressive 
Scotch and Canadian blood; have good, 
modern houses, the best imported goods in 
their shop, and fine hotels. But in the lower 
town (or French section) it is very antiquated 
and picturesque, and very few of the people 
can talk English, and they do not try to learn 
it; they have no particular love for the English 
or Canadian, they have never forgotten the 
scrap on the Heights of Abraham. Wolf’s 


532 


A DRUMMER’S EXPERIENCE 



monument still 
stands on the old 
bat tie-field, t h ough 
in an unkept con¬ 
dition. Mont¬ 
calm’s monu¬ 
ment stands on 
the bluffs over¬ 
looking the St. 
Lawrence river. 
From the base of 
this monument is 
to be seen one of 
the grandest sights 
of the country. 
Standing some 200 
feet above the 
river, you look 
down the stream 
as far as the eye 
can see; it is very 
broad and majes¬ 
tic, and will float 
any ship that rides 
the Atlantic. I 
would like to have 
you go with me to 
New Brunswick. 
I want to show 


Frontenack Statue, Quebec, Canada yOU an easy-gOing, 




CANADA 


533 


conservative people. They enjoy life and 
its simplicity; they never get in a hurry; 
but seem to work mechanically; they make 
no fuss, no feathers about anything; they are 
surely the decendants of the Huguenots. 
There is one very remarkable thing that I 
would like to till you about at Moncton. 



Rafting Logs on St. John's River, N. B. 

It is the tidal wave, or what is called the 
“Bore.” It is caused by the extreme high and 
rapid tide of the Bay of Fundy. You doubt¬ 
less know that the average ocean tide of the 
Atlantic is about four feet from ebb to flow, 
but in the Bay of Fundy owing to its peculiar 
shape (being large at the lower end where it 
empties into the Atlantic, and tapers gradually 
for a great distance, with very steep banks) 









534 


A DRUMMER’S EXPERIENCE 


the pressure from the Atlantic under these 
conditions, forces the tide very high at the 
upper end of the bay, often rising as high as 
twenty-eight feet. This terrible rise and 
pressure forces the tide up a small stream, 
through a narrow, level valley at a terriffic 
pace, and about three to four feet high in one 
solid breast of water. The people in the town 
go down every day to see the ‘‘Bore” come in 
very much the same manner as they do to 
see the trains. If you should ever visit St. 
John, New Brunswick, I would advise you 
to go on an excursion up the St. John river to 
Fredericton. Here are some of the prettiest 
sights in Canada. No more delightful climate 
surroundings could be asked for than what or 
you encounter on this trip. It is the Thames 
of America. If you enjoy a sail on the Ocean 
go over to Halifax, Nova Scotia, from St. 
John; but if you are nervous, you may get a 
little excited when the fog horns begin to 
blow, as they always do in foul weather. 
Just have faith in your captain and remember 
that others have gone before. I have a vivid 
recollection of a trip from Grand Manan 
Island to St. John. It happened to be one 
of those dense, foggy nights; the whistle from 
our boat and the reply whistles, gongs, bells 
and sights of buoys, together with the beacon 
lights flashed from the towers of signal 
stations, made it seem that we were nosing 


CANADA 


535 


our way between the jaws of death. Sleep 
would not form my acquaintance that night, 
but u all is well that ends well.” Our captain 
knew how to run the gauntlet. I had cal¬ 
culated to take a steamer from St. John to 
Boston, but after this night’s experience, it 
did not take much persuasion on the part of 
the railroad agent, to induce me to go his 
way to Boston. I like high life, and a good 
time, but I do not like to come in contact 
with what I ate day before yesterday; then 
it is not graceful, for anyone to lean over the 
rail and make a noise like he was calling hogs; 
they say it is healthful, but I had rather have 
less health and more comfort. 


















Chapter LXIV 
INVESTMENTS 

The most successful men are those who have 
invested their money in enterprises familiar 
to them—enterprises in which they knew the 
cost of material, the cost of labor, the con¬ 
ditions under which the article was produced 
and disposed of; the extent of the market for 
that article, etc. This rule does not need to 
be adhered to by men who are skilled in the 
affairs of life. Some men are expert financiers 
and can make any proposition pay, provided 
it has any merit at all; while others, taking 
the same proposition, would lose all. 

There are no defined rules for investment. 
Conditions and ability count for everything. 
But I will instruct you the best I can. 

As a rule, put your money where you can 
watch the proposition. See to it that the 
article to be produced is one that will be con¬ 
sumed by the general public as much as 
possible. Or put your earnings in real estate 
where values are conservative, and the dis¬ 
trict is growing. Municipal and county bonds 
are usually good. Public utility bonds are 
excellent, if not watered. Ascertain what 
dividends the stock is paying, the life of the 


538 


A DRUMMER’S EXPERIENCE 


charter, the amount of machinery on hand and 
paid for, and above all, find out what the out¬ 
standing liabilities amount to. 

If you are speculative and want large re¬ 
turns on your money, try oil, mining, or the 
promotion of new schemes. These often are 
a wonderful success, but there is a great ele¬ 
ment of risk in all such ventures. 

If you want something absolutely safe, in¬ 
vest in government bonds. These do not pay 
much interest, but you can sleep at night. 

Steer clear of investments where the pro¬ 
moters promise too much. These get-rich- 
quick schemes usually fall flat before the 
time of harvest. If you do invest in one, do 
so as a speculative proposition, and not as an 
investment. 

Do not speculate beyond what you can 
afford to lose and still be on Easy Street. The 
greatest fortunes ever made have been ac¬ 
cumulated through speculation. It all de¬ 
pends upon the time, the place and the scheme. 
If you are inclined to speculate, place your 
money with a good financier. You will have 
to pay him a commission; but you can w r ell 
afford to do this if he is honest with you, for 
he can give you good advice. It requires 
much study of conditions, and a knowledge of 
business forms, to successfully judge as to the 
advisability of a purchase of securities. There 
are good, bad and indifferent securities. You 


INVESTMENTS 


539 


should learn whether or not, the officers and 
directors in control of a venture are honest 
men. Unscrupulous men have often robbed 
the small stockholder by getting inside in¬ 
formation and using it to their own ad¬ 
vantage^ buying or selling the stock at a 
critical time, and even throwing the company 
into bankruptcy in order to attain their 
point. I do not mean that this advantage or 
information is always abused; but it can be 
worked to the detriment of the small stock¬ 
holder. 

I have heard the argument advanced that 
the minority stockholder has access to the 
books at all times. This is true, but the books 
do not always tell the whole story. Suppose 
you were one of the small stockholders in a 
venture to bore for oil; and suppose you were 
not on the ground, nor a particular friend of 
the foreman or superintendent, do you think 
you would know when to buy or sell your 
stock? 

I want to warn you about buying fruit or 
farm lands that are isolated and a long way 
from market; unless you can afford to wait 
for the railroads to come, or a town to spring 
up. 

Do no misunderstand me. I believe in in¬ 
vestments. A man is very foolish to keep his 
money in a sock, where it draws no interest. 
If you ever expect to gain affluence from 


540 


A DRUMMER S EXPERIENCE 


your daily toil, invest your money by all 
means; and good land is the safest investment 
in America. It cannot depreciate materially; 
it cannot be stolen or burned up. What I 
advise is to buy from an honorable firm, at the 
right price, and in the right locality, and you 
are bound to win. Good land that can be 
bought at a fair price is very scarce; and the 
rate at which our population is increasing, and 
prices of farm products soaring, there is a 
great incentive for people to go to the farm. 
Do not buy in a state or community where the 
land is already too high and is liable to de¬ 
preciate in value instead of increasing. 

In this chapter I want to caution you 
against investing in a new thing that has not 
been tried out, unless you can get in on the 
ground floor and buy as a speculation pure and 
simple. Do not put all your earnings into a 
new venture with the expectation of making a 
fortune, just because the president of the 
concern said it was a winner. A little sealing 
wax, a blue ribbon and a bit of nice'engraving 
on a piece of paper, does not forecast either 
security or future profits. If you are a man 
of experience and know the venture to be 
legitimate, go into it as heavily as you like; 
but I presume I am talking to the average man 
who has not seen a great deal of the world. 

I believe in progress and development. I 
believe in keeping up the reputation of the 


INVESTMENTS 


541 


American people. What I want you to do is 
to use your thinker . If you do this, some day 
you will be honored in your community, have 
a fat bank account, and be able to defy the 
world. 


Chapter LXV 

PAST, PRESENT, FUTURE 

Time is divided into three parts—Past, 
Present and Future. The Past is dead; the 
Present is living; the Future, yet to be born, 
though its horoscope can be cast, inasmuch as 
we know the star of its nativity. There was 
a time when we could judge the future by the 
past, by reading between the lines; but now 
the history of events is spoken from a dicta¬ 
graph, taken down by shorthand, and trans¬ 
mitted by the wave system. Now this is 
not so complicated after all. There must be a 
commencement to everything. Who talked 
into the dictagraph? Why, Father Time. All 
right, to catch the trend of events, watch the 
motions of Father Time’s lips; here is the 
power behind the throne. Father Time does 
not advertise his waves on sign boards. To 
get a tip on the future market and the trend 
of events you will have to keep your wires 
charged, and pick it up from the wave system 
in the air. 

The Future has the same family resem¬ 
blance as the Past, but he wears better clothes 
than his older brother, and instead of driving 
an ox cart he rides in a 60-horsepower auto 



PAST, PRESENT, FUTURE 


543 


(and he goes some, too). Now take your field 
glasses and look to the East. Do you see the 
smoke and dust arising? 

It seems to reach the sky; 

You can guess what that is— 

Now let me see you try. 

It’s the Future in his auto, 

And he’ll be here by and by. 

It is not only necessary to know the past, 
and control the present, but you should be 
able to forecast the future. It is not hard for 
people to memorize a thing after some one 
else has compiled it; but the originator of the 
idea is entitled to a patent; he is the man that 
gets the royalty. The man who can anticipate 
the needs of the future is a millionaire. The 
present is crowded by competition; the future 
is a virgin field. Stocks that have been ad¬ 
vertised sell at par, but future prospects sell 
at a cent a share. If you can read the future, 
here is the place to buy. During the Klon¬ 
dike rush in 1898 the people went wild. All 
they thought of was packing their knapsacks 
with provisions, and strapping a rifle on their 
shoulders. Thousands started without pick 
and shovel. This was like going to battle 
without a gun. Every" mind was bent on 
securing a claim that would yield untold 
wealth. A woman in Seattle sat down and 
figured out the proposition. While large firms 
and corporations were making plans to get 


544 


A DRUMMER'S EXPERIENCE 


food and clothing into that distant land, this 
woman had her mind on something quite dif¬ 
ferent. She thought, ‘‘ How can a man till the 
ground without a plow; how could a man run 
a bank without money, how could men dig 
gold without picks and shovels.” She in¬ 
vested her little fortune in hardware, and 
headed for the Klondike. She was the first to 
fill her purse, which she did with the hardware 
profits. 

The man who had the nerve to buy lots in 
Chicago 50 years ago, can be pointed out as a 
star of the West. The children of the men 
who bought the first oil, steel, sugar and other 
corporation stocks, that furnish the necessities 
to man, will never have to beg for bread. 

As straws show which way the wind blows, 
so the indications in Nature can be read as 
the sign on a board. The verdure of the grass 
proclaims the approach of Spring. The di¬ 
rection of the winds, barometer and tempera¬ 
tures warn of the approaching storms. It is 
said that all great events cast a shadow before 
them. No less pronounced is the forecast of 
the future. The causes of today produce the 
effects of tomorrow. The whole universe is 
founded on this law, and is as immutable as 
time itself. But to be able to read the 
‘‘handwriting on the wall” requires judgment 
and the ability to deduct the effect from cer¬ 
tain causes. The horse-trader can look at the 


PAST, PRESENT, FUTURE 


545 


teeth and tell the age of the animal; the rings 
on the trees, the stratas ot rock, speak louder 
of the world's history than printed books, 
The merchant, to succeed, must anticipate 
the needs of his customers. He must buy in 
the summer for the succeeding winter, and in 
the winter for the spring trade. We build not 
for the present but for the future. We edu¬ 
cate the child today to prepare him for the 
battle of tomorrow. We prepare for war in 
time of peace. We build a house today to 
shelter us in our declining years. 

Then how essential it is that we learn to 
penetrate the future with a certainty of build¬ 
ing according to our needs. Deity has given 
man a mind that no other animal possesses 
This mind should be kept healthful and clean, 
uncontaminated by superstition, or controlled 
by narrow prejudices and undermining jeal¬ 
ousies. Feed the mind as you would the 
body, with wholesome ideas and lofty ideals. 
Learn to focus your mind on the vital things 
of life as a physician centers the X-rays on the 
internal organs of the body. There is noth¬ 
ing on the mundane sphere hidden from man, 
when his anxiety interests and determination 
are sufficient to a supreme effort to attain the 
desired goal. 



Chapter LXV1 

THE HOLDUP 

I presume my reader has never had the 
horrible experience of being held up by a high¬ 
wayman, and I hope you will never have to 
hold your hands in the air while the other man 
rifles your pockets. 

About twenty years ago, I had an experience 
in western Colorado that was enough for me. 
In those days highwaymen in the West were 
as plentiful as sheep-herders. Several hold¬ 
ups had occurred shortly before the time of 
which I am speaking, and myself and some 
other traveling men had been talking of them 
that afternoon. We were expecting to ‘‘get 
ours” any day, as the footpads had an idea 
that drummers had more money than brains— 
which usually was about right. 

It was hot weather, and the days were long. 
That evening after dinner, about 6 o’clock 
another drummer and myself decided to drive 
from Delta to Hotchkiss, a distance of 18 
miles. We secured a buggy and a good span 
of horses and set out before sundown. It was 
one of those ideal summer evenings we have 
in the West—the trees, the birds, and even the 
chipmunks seemed glad they were alive. My 


THE HOLDUP 


547 


companion was rather talkative. He kicked 
on conditions of trade, rehearsed a conversa¬ 
tion he had had with a merchant '‘crank” the 
day before, and while he talked, I sat there 
listening and growing drowsy. As he was 
driving, I had nothing to do but dose off to 
sleep. 

It was good, thick dusk now, and when I 
opened my eyes again, we were going slowly 
up a long grade. On our right, at intervals, 
were crags of rocks that rose 30 or 40 feet 
high, and resembled ghosts in the starlight. 
There was a turn in the road just ahead of 
us and one of those fantastically, ghostly 
crags was in the angle of the turn. Just as 
we approached the rock, a man on horseback 
rounded the corner. I said nothing but 
peered into the gathering darkness as best I 
could. As we drew nearer to each other, I 
saw there was something lying across the 
pummel of his saddle. My mind was sluggish 
from the little “seista” I had just been en¬ 
joying, but when I saw this object across his 
saddle my eyes suddenly got as big as an 
owl's and it did not take me long to decide 
that it was a gun. 

When we were within about ten feet of the 
man I saw him make a quick movement, and 
grab the weapon. He swung it toward us, and 
at the same moment spoke something in a 
gruff tone of voice. I did not catch what he 





548 


A DRUMMER’S EXPERIENCE 


said, bat could see the glistening of the gun- 
barrel in the starlight. I could make out that 
it was a double-barreled shotgun, and the 
holes in the muzzle seemed big enough to put 
my two fists into. Well, when he spoke both 
my hands went into the air, and my knuckles 
struck against the bows in the top of the 
buggy. Then 1 sat still, awaiting develop¬ 
ments. 

Just then the highwayman passed us. 

My partner turned to me and said, 
“What’s the matter with you, Dick? 
What’ve you been drinking.” 

As 1 caught my breath I said, “ Why didn’t 
you stop?” 

“For what?” 

“When that robber pointed his gun at us.” 

“Robber! Gun!” he shouted derisively. “I 
saw nothing but a farmer with a shovel!” 

Then I remembered to take my hands down 
out of the air, and as I did so I slipped one of 
them into my pocket and extracted a $2 bill— 
a bribe to make him keep his mouth shut re¬ 
garding the adventure. 


Chapter LXVII 
ALWAYS ON TIME 

The railroad that does not run on time soon 
loses its patronage. The division foremen on 
some of the branch roads of the Dakotas, and 
Nebraska, have to resort to unique methods 
to keep the caterpillars, grass and cows off the 
right-of-way. In May and June in the North¬ 
west the caterpillars come in billions, and 
virtually take the country. When they under¬ 
take to cross a railroad they get on top of the 
rail and then they seem to stop. Now the 
mashing of these worms soon glaze the wheels, 
and make the track slick so the engineer can 
make no time, and consequently is always 
late. Another great hindrance is the grass, 
which at this season of the year grows very 
fast and laps over the rails. “Between trains?” 
Yes (and I am not a fisherman). The wind 
often has a great deal to do with this, blowing 
the grass across the rails just in front of the 
drive-wheels. Now, to master the situation, 
the railroad companies have mounted on the 
tender, a huge oil tank that holds several 
thousand gallons of crude oil. This tank is 
connected by a hose to an iron pipe about 10 
feet long, that is perforated full of holes. This 


550 


A DRUMMER’S EXPERIENCE 


pipe is called the burner, and hangs about 
four inches above the track. Now turn on 
the oil and apply the match, start the engine 
down the track and caterpillars and grass 
melt like butter in an August sun. Bub this 
is not the engineer's greatest troubles. 

The branch roads in the West are not 
fenced, and as there are thousands of cattle 
on the prairies to wander on the track, they 
become very troublesome. And sometimes 
the old male disputes with the engineer, the 
right-of-way. 1 was on a train on a branch 
road in Nebraska in 1898. The cattle were 
thick on both sides of the track, and often on 
top of it. The engineer and fireman had a 
steady job squirting steam, ringing the bell, 
and blowing the whistle, and often had to 
slack up to let some old rheumatic cow get 
off the track. At last we saw about two 
hundred yards ahead of us, an old white-faced 
bull, head down, pawing the ground and 
bellowing. The engineer and this old fellow 
bad locked horns several times before, and 
each time his bovine highness had reluct¬ 
antly withdrawn, muttering vengeance. This 
morning bade fair to show a scrap to the 
finish. It seemed that it was a preconcerted 
action on the part of his lordship, inasmuch 
as all the other cattle withdrew to both sides 
of the road, and turned round to view the en- 


ALWAYS ON TIME 


551 


counter. The engineer looked at the fireman 
and said: 

“Charley, what would you do?” 

“Paste him one.” 

The engineer blew the whistle and squirted 
the steam out of the exhaust pipes, while the 
fireman rang the bell. But old Jimmie, head 
down and neck bowed, stood like the Rock of 
Gibraltar. Now, the engineer happened to 
think that his insurance policy had expired 
the day before; this caused him to reverse the 
engine and throw on the brakes. The train 
stopped just as the cowcatcher, or pilot, 
touched Old Jimmie’s nose. He swung his 
head to one side and with a defiant bawl 
gave a jerk upward. His right horn caught 
in the fender and there he stood (like the cat 
that had caught a mouse, then let it loose and 
dared it to run) waiting for developments 
The engineer and fireman held a council of 
war. It developed that each wanted to be 
captain and conduct the battle from the run¬ 
ning board of the engine while the other acted 
as private on the ground. At last they de¬ 
cided to each get an armful of coal from the 
tender and to charge simultaneously from the 
run-boards of the engine. Here they stood, 
high above the undaunted warrior, surrounded 
on every side by steel breastworks. Here they 
felt they could work their arms to good effect, 
and pour the shot hot and fast upon the un- 


552 


A DRUMMER’S EXPERIENCE 


protected head and shoulders of the short¬ 
horn Sampson. 

It was an undue advantage to take of an 
old man who was willing to fight in the open. 
It was plain to be seen that the contest was 
unequal, as the odds were two to one, and Old 
Jimmie’s artillery was of short range. But as 
for courage, he would defy a cyclone. 

A few of the passengers got out on the right- 
of-way to see what the trouble was, but when 
we caught a glimpse of Jimmie’s battery, and 
the glistening of his eye, we got right back in 
the coaches as quickly as if a band of train 
robbers were doing the job. 

At last Old Jimmie withdrew in good 
order—you could not call it a retreat; only an 
armistice, hostilities to be renewed the follow¬ 
ing day. 

In two hours’ time we were at the end of the 
branch road. As I had some business to 
transact with the Superintendent I went to 
his office. While there, the engineer came 
in, throwing down an envelope containing his 
trip report. At the same time, with an air of 
determination and injured innocence, he re¬ 
marked : 

“If you want me to go out in the morning 
on this run, you will have to change your 
time-card.” 

The Superintendent looked up in astonish¬ 
ment. 


ALWAYS ON TIME 


553 


‘‘Why, what is the matter?” 

‘‘Well, about forty miles from here out on 
the prairie, there is a bull that seems to own 
all that country. He even disputes that you 
have a right-of-way through. Now there is 
a water-hole near the tracks, where the cattle 
come for water, and have to cross the road. 
Our time-card calls for us to be at this water- 
hole at 9:20 a. m. Well, that is the bull’s 
time-card, also, and we both cannot use the 
right-of-way at the same time. It is up to 
you!” 

I bad a little experience on this trip that I 
would like to relate, though it is not connected 
in any way with our subject, “On Time.” 
In the first place, I want to know if there is a 
dictionary made that will explain a Swede’s 
meaning in the English tongue? Also, will 
this dictionary give the correct pronunciation 
of words, so all Americans can understand 
each other? When strangers meet from dif¬ 
ferent parts of the Union it is sometimes a 
little embarrassing, inasmuch as they do not 
comprehend the meaning intended to be con¬ 
veyed. 1 had crossed over into South Dakota 
but as yet I had had no extensive dealings 
with the Swedish merchants of that section, 
and did not understand their expressions of the 
English language. I was selling a high-priced 
specialty to the retail grocery trade. Ap¬ 
proaching a tall, light-complexioned gentle- 


554 


A DRUMMER’S EXPERIENCE 


man from the Scandinavian Peninsula, I pro¬ 
ceeded to show him my patent fixture. I 
soon saw that he was considerably interested, 
and as I continued to expatiate on the merits 
of my machine, he waxed enthusiastic on the 
good points of the article. I thought I could 
see a $>20 bill in sight, as my commission on the 
sale. When I thought he was ripe for clos¬ 
ing, I got out my pencil and asked him if he 
did not want one for his store. 

“ Yes,” he said, “I want one just like that!” 

I had my order book in my hand, and pro¬ 
ceeded to fill in the blanks. Just then he laid 
his hand on my arm and said: “Not yet!” 

Well I caught my breath after a while. 

Now as to pronunciation and misunder-' 
standings between Americans; about five 
years ago a man from Kentucky was driving 
West with a prairie schooner. He had a 
breakdown and found that he was sorely in 
need of a monkey-wrench. Now you doubt¬ 
less know that the Southerners pronounce 
things pretty broad. Well, he called at a 
nearby ranch-house, and asked the man in 
charge if he had a monkey-ranch. The man 
looked at him in astonishment and said “No.” 
But said: “There is a man west of here who 
has a horse-ranch, and one east that has a cow- 
ranch, and there is a sheep-ranch just down 
the creek, but I cannot think of a man in all 
the county that has a monkey-ranch! I do 


ALWAYS ON TIME 


555 


not believe they would thrive here, as the 
altitude is too high.” 

I do Dot let little thiugs like this worry me 
now; but when I was a youug man 1 laid 
awake three Dights trying to understand the 
differeuce between a plantation, a farm and a 
ranch. At last a bright idea struck me—that 
a plantation was stocked with negroes, a farm 
populated with a white man and his kids, and 
a ranch with a Mexican and his dogs. 

But what were we talking about? Oh, yes, 
“On Time.” Well, the man that is always 
on time is never late! The foreman likes to 
see a man on the job when the whistle blows. 
It shows that he is taking an interest in the 
work, and trying to earn an honest living, by 
giving a good day’s work for a fair day’s pay. 
If you want to hold a man’s confidence keep 
your appointments on time; and if you owe 
a debt pay it on time. If you wish to catch 
the fast express for the city you must be on 
time. If you want to bid in a piece of prop¬ 
erty, be on time. The general who expects 
to meet and defeat his opponent, must be on 
time, look over the ground and make his plans 
before the battle begins. Oftentimes a minute 
or a second means the passing of an oppor¬ 
tunity of a lifetime. Take a lesson from 
Nature, consider for a moment how exact the 
divisions of time. The stars and planets re¬ 
volving in their orbit, though it may take a 



* 





Snow Slide, Western Colorado 















ALWAYS ON TIME 


557 


score of years to complete their cycle; they 
are never confused or diverted from their 
path, but move on with the regularity that 
only time can measure, to complete their 
untold number of revolutions, to finish their 
work, and close the cycle, when the unseen 
hand of destiny points to the hour of ac¬ 
complishment! 




Chapter LXVIII 

MAN TRAPS 

Do you know that there are more traps set 
for men and women, than ever were set for 
bear? Yes, there are thousands of men in 
our country who are living by their wits, by 
working schemes to get hold of your $ with¬ 
out giving you value received. 

There is no profession or calling that has a 
monopoly of these gentlemen; but they are 
to be found in all the walks of life. First, 
there is the fake advertiser. He offers to give 
you something free . Now the only thing he 
will ever give you free is the hot air; when you 
investigate his proposition you will find there 
is a string tied to it. He says he will give you 
something free provided you buy something 
else from him, and he always charges you 
enough for the article he sells you to make a 
handsome profit on the one he claims to give 
you. 

No man can afford to advertise in the 
papers and give away goods. A legitimate 
advertiser never offers to give away anything. 
If you can think of anything free outside of 
air and daylight, I would like to buy the 
recipe for its manufacture. At one time it 


MAN TRAPS 


559 


was said that air and water were free; but 
the man who said that is dead; or if he is still 
alive let him go to a Canadian hotel and 
ask for a drink of water; the bartender will 
“fix his clock." 

Then there is the real estate man that 
offers to sell you land near railroads and a good 
market— abundance of rainfall . He offers it 
(if you will buy in ten days) for $20 an acre, and 
it is dead sure to increase 200% in two years; 
and as for productive qualities, it will raise 
anything! In reality, it is too poor and rocky 
to raise as much as a disturbance. Now the 
farther this land is away from home the better 
it suits him; then he is sure you cannot go to 
see it before you buy. 

Again, there is the “fake" doctor. He is 
the limit. He will send you a free pill all 
right, and some reading matter, too, describ¬ 
ing the symptoms of every disease known to the 
medical profession . If you have any of these 
symptoms, his medicine will cure you; IT 
SAYS SO IN THE LITERATURE. If you 
should buy any of this soapsuds and ammonia 
I would advise you to try it on the cat. It is 
advertised to give “instant relief;" this is 
correct, you are relieved before you ever un¬ 
corked the bottle—of your money. But this 
is not the only doctor that will diagnose your 
case (free). There is the financial expert. Do 
not overlook the word expert; he is a past- 



560 


A DRUMMER’S EXPERIENCE 


master; and as for confidential tips, he has 
more of these than a dog has fleas. You will 
usually find this gentleman located on the 
attic floor of a twenty-two story building in 
New York. He is usually long on oil wells, 
mines and various other stocks. His oil 
well is located between two gushers —himself 
on one side and his “capper” on the other. 
And as for his mines, he has a mind at all 
times to work you for all he can. When it 
comes to stocks, he is overloaded; you will 
have to watch him when it comes to making 
the transfer or he will treat you like the farmer 
did the land-buyer in western Kansas. He 
sold a quarter section of land, and when they 
were making out the deed the buyer was not 
watching and the farmer wrote in a half 
section instead of a quarter. But as for 
traps, you need not go to New York to find 
them; they are at your door. 

The merchant advertises to sell the best 
suit in the store for $15; but before be puts 
the ad in the paper, he boxes up the best suits 
and nails down the lid. Now the suits that 
he has left on the counter for sale, will not 
fit anything but a twelve-year old boy, or a 
Barnum’s “What Is It?” I heard a compli¬ 
ment paid a local merchant of my town lately. 
A customer of the merchant said that he (the 
merchant) was a pretty decent sort of a fellow, 
that he would not break you up when he sold 


MAN TRAPS 


561 


you anything; that he was taking lessons 
from the farmer robbing bees. The farmer 
had learned that it was poor eceonomy to take 
the comb from the bees, but to give them the 
comb back that they might set to work at once to 
refill the cells with honey , preparatory to an¬ 
other robbing. 

The elephant has the reputation of being a 
pretty wise “guy,” he always has a weather 
eye open looking for trouble. It is related 
that the natives of Africa, in order to trap the 
elephant, dig a hole in the ground about six 
feet across and twenty feet deep, cover the 
hole with brush and leaves; then hang a 
bundle of fodder (or bait) over it. Mr. 
Elephant is curious to examine the bait 
and tumbles into the hole. Now, the elephant 
has a cousin in this country that is called a 
man, and who is ever smelling the bait . The 
party who has charge of these traps in Amer¬ 
ica has made a study of us, learned that we 
have a fastidious taste, that we even like pie 
and cake, so from time to time the bait is 
changed, and the size of the hook depends 
upon the size of the “sucker” he is fishing for. 
When once hooked, the suckers are all strung 
on the same line to be scaled (have their coats 
removed) and then to be drawn by the Lord 
High Executioner. 

It is true that we are all after the dollar. I 
saw a good ad recently; it read: ‘‘I am after 




562 


A DRUMMER’S EXPERIENCE 


your money, and you are after the other fel¬ 
low's, let's go in ‘cahoots' and divide up." I 
am willing to this if the two parties named 
will take in the THIRD MAN. But some of 
our business men have such ravenous ap¬ 
petites; they are like “Bosco," they eat them 
alive! This reminds us of the coal man who 
came into the coalyard just as the negro 
driver was about to drive out with a load of 
coal. The boss asked: “Who is that coal 
for?" 

“Mrs. Smif." 

“How many tons does she get at a time?" 

“Well, I tell you, boss, she mos' in gin'ral 
gits one ton." 

“But haven't you got a pretty big ton on 
the wagon this time?" 

“Don’t say nuffin', boss; her husban' got 
paid off yisterday and I'm goin' to call this 
three ton." 

“Well, you can knock off for the rest of the 
day when you get back.’ } 

But all dishonest people do not live in 
town. I bought some hens from a rancher. 
He agreed to bring me nothing but young 
ones. He said all the chickens he was selling 
were young, and insinuated that they were 
really too young to take from their mothers. 
But when I got them I found they had shed 
their back teeth, and were old enough to vote. 
When the farmer collects the eggs that the 


MAN TRAPS 


563 


old hen has set on for two weeks and sells 
them in town for fresh ones, it is like taking 
candy from a baby. 

I do not ask a man for a handicap in a race. 
All I expect is a fair start and no jockeying. 
If 1 lose I will rub down for the next race. 
Now, if I only have one opponent, I may be 
first; if not, I surely will be second! There 
is only one time when we are sure of being at 
the head of the class—on a rainy day when 
all the other kids are at home. Then always 
be on hand and do your best. It is always 
well enough to help a comrade out of a 
mudhole, but in the tussle do not let him 
pull you in also. You need not be afraid to 
walk over the skylight in the pavement, but 
be careful about the hatchways in the alley; 
and always look out for the manholes. There 
are two kinds, one made by the city engineers, 
the other constructed by skilled architects , 
confidence men and women. They will offer 
to show you a good time, and the Great White 
Way; but be careful the lights don’t dazzle 
your eyes, and the concoctions you drink 
addle the brain, or you may wake up in the 
morning to find that you have been caught in 
a trap that was baited with pleasure, con¬ 
cealed by flowers and sprinkled with the dew of 
champagne. 

All young people should read the story 
of Old Mother Trout, who warned her children 




564 


A DRUMMER’S EXPERIENCE 


to beware of the fly that covered the sharp¬ 
ness of the hook. Young man, if you aspire 
to be a painter take lessons from Nature in 
landscapes, or bird's-eye views. I would not 
advise you to take the job of painting the 
town a cheap vermilion; it is neither artistic 
nor remunerative . Not only that, but is very 
hard to get off your hands and clothes , and 
there have been cases where the painter has 
contracted blood poison. Now as to the art 
of skating, you can take your choice. Ice 
skates are hard to keep on the feet and you 
have to brave the cold to enjoy the fun. 
Roller skates make more noise and the falls 
you get will make you sore; but this is nothing 
compared to the fall you get from the skates 
purchased at a “boot-leg factory.'' There is 
only one redeeming feature of this class of 
sport; there is usually a ticket given with 
each “skate" that entitles you to a free bus 
ride to a hotel where the clerks all wear blue 
uniforms, and you are not supposed to tip the 
waiters, nor to kick when the beans are not 
well cooked. 

Some people get badly frightened when 
they see the sign, “Look out for the dog!" 
Now let me inform you that there is not as 
much danger of contracting the rabies from 
a dog's bite as there is in getting on the out¬ 
side of a half-dozen cherry cocktails at the 
club, 



MAN TRAPS 


565 


Young girls should remember that a man’s 
word considerably resembles vanilla wafers — 
they are sweet, but very brittle. 

Music and midnight revels are the food of 
sensation, but they do not strengthen the 
muscles or nourish the brain. And the drinks 
you get at this late hour of the night, instead 
of quenching thirst, fires the passions. The 
arm of man is as strong as an iron band to 
protect the sweet and innocent maiden; but 
it falls limp at his side, when she exceeds the 
bounds of decency. Girls, be careful when 
you go to the dancing pavilion. It is built 
over the pool of despondency and the hand¬ 
rail that should be a protection is rotten. 
Now if you lean against it you will fall, and 
l am sorry to say that there has never been a 
soap discovered that will cleanse your gar¬ 
ments. 

There is a peculiarity about gambling that 
has never been explained. Professionals in 
all other sports are recognized as authorities, 
but the amateur gambler has no respect for 
the professional in his line. The green country 
boy thinks he is lucky because he can pitch 
horse-shoes. When he goes to town he has 
got to try the Wheel of Fortune, and if he is 
allowed to win a time or two, then he is ready 
to buck Monte Carlo. It is not necessary to 
tell you how he succeeds; but I notice that he 
does not wear his watch any more; and instead 




566 


A DRUMMER’S EXPERIENCE 


of taking the street-car, he walks to his work. 
But this is not the only kind of games he will 
go against. He is a candidate for anything 
that is called amusement or adventure . He is 
also a prospect for the confidence man and 
grafter. These boys graduate in a few years, 
get their diplomas and retire to private life; 
but the ranks are continually filled by new 
recruits. This army of adventurers remind 
me of Uncle Sam’s American volunteer regi¬ 
ment; it is composed of Dutch, Irich, Swedes, 
Italians, Negroes and Americans; yes, and a 
big company of high financiers. Now you can 
see from the expression of their faces, that they 
all hold trumps— but most of them are treys 
and deuces and they never get a u pair.” 

Americans are adventurers. They will ride 
a bronco, go up in a balloon, come down in 
the parachute and land on a precipice of un¬ 
certainty; then dare peep over into the Vortex 
of Destruction. A man to be a tight-rope 
walker must have a clear head and a steady 
nerve. And if you would win the battle of 
life you must have determination, ambition 
and a little common sense. Keep your 
weather-vane in working order, and consult 
your barometer frequently; they will warn 
you of the approaching storm. Never get it 
into your head that you are exceedingly lucky; 
that you are the “ seventh son of a seventh 
son” of a son of a gun. Young man, your 


MAN TRAPS 


567 


forefathers learned (but they never told you) 
that the cards were stacked, and the dice 
loaded. While the “capper” may win, you 
cannot beat the game! 

























































e 


















































































































































